How do you even vet for this?

goldiebaby · 2020-12-26T22:28:17+00:00

Mistake #1 - Paying for rental for only a boyfriend. Let him pay for it. Even if you are one of those 50-50 feminists, make him pay upfront and venmo your share AFTER the trip. But seriously, stop booking trips and buying expensive gifts for guys you are merely dating. Wife effort for some rando, SMH.

spicyspa · 2020-12-26T22:44:53+00:00

Don't put down $1,000 on a rental with your boyfriend. Problem solved.

Pahapan · 2020-12-26T22:34:04+00:00

Avoid ✍ men ✍ named ✍ Mark/Marc. ✍

Gourmay · 2020-12-26T22:12:15+00:00

A nvm I dated and stayed in the US for after he asked me to, broke up with me the day before I was getting tested for brain tumors 🙃 I sat in an mri machine the next day trying not to cry in case it affected the scan.

Papaverinum · 2020-12-26T22:03:30+00:00

Don't celebrate Christmas with someone that just your boyfriend.

straighthairgreece · 2020-12-26T23:10:38+00:00

Sometimes you can't. A man can appear to be HVM and reveal his LV behaviour hearts later.

Vetting helps but it's not a guarantee that it will work unfortunately.

GettingOffTheCrazy · 2020-12-27T02:24:59+00:00

First of all - never ever pay for the the vacation rental. EVER. Let men plan stuff and pay for it - AGAIN LET MEN PLAN STUFF AND PAY FOR IT. That is the only way they can truly appreciate the experience of being with you and giving a gift. That is the only way they will see you as the amazing person that you are. Because they have to work for it. If they work for it you are worth it. I don't make the rules but just saying. And I am tired of men so there you go.

MissMisnomer · 2020-12-26T23:10:01+00:00

If I were Cassie, I'd take the rental and go on my own Christmas adventure.

kiki_do_u_luv_me · 2020-12-26T22:35:49+00:00

This is the type of shit that makes me want to go my own way lol. Terrifying.

I guess one potential way to vet for this is to make sure he is paying for the rental fully and is actively planning things out for the trip. For the second situation, same thing, make sure he’s buying your plane ticket as well as making the majority of the arrangements for hotel, activities, etc

mini_baguette · 2020-12-27T02:46:18+00:00

I knew a girl who was doing a one year LDR with a guy who she’s been with for 2 years. They were not visiting too frequently during Covid but still making an effort. She went out to him in September and after spending a weekend with her he broke up with her while driving to the airport and said he had been contemplating it for a while. WHY DID HE LET HER FLY OUT TO HIM DURING A PANDEMIC IF HE KNEW HE WANTED TO BREAK UP WITH HER??? Ugh - people make me so mad

spicyspa · 2020-12-26T23:36:54+00:00

I would just go by myself.

Lavender_flow · 2020-12-27T01:17:32+00:00

Make him for his own shit 🤷‍♀️ it's not that hard. Don't pay for men. If he doesn't want to come then. The you have your answer

boiledgatorade_ · 2020-12-27T00:02:09+00:00

Whew this happened to me.. the night before I was flying to HIM to celebrate a holiday / our anniversary. Pick me still continued to talk to him daily for nearly a year after even tho he didn’t want to date me. 🤡

fdsonlynoscrubs · 2020-12-27T16:53:51+00:00

I have exes who are exes for a reason, but I do think they were vetted. I had one that I had paid $800 for a flight because I invited him to a wedding. Since he was my guest I paid. Before that trip, he had paid for my flight for other events / trips.

We broke up before the trip, and I couldn’t get a refund on the flight, so he Venmo’d me $800. I didn’t even ask him for it. Again, still an ex. Haven’t spoken to him in years. But I think he was properly vetted in the early dating stages as NOT a NVM.

smaller_ang · 2020-12-27T08:38:03+00:00

Once you're stood up by a guy on vacation you know to never, ever put money down yourself ☺️

Title	How do you even vet for this?
Author	yesmme
Upvotes	274
Comments	47
Date	December 26, 2020 9:47 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kkqo1d/how_do_you_even_vet_for_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-do-you-even-vet-for-this.341312 https://theredarchive.com/post/341312

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