I got this new job recently and thus had to meet my new coworkers. Right away this one guy was extremely friendly with me, making me laugh, joking, and all that. (For the record - I'm 18 and he's like 28-30, I can't be sure). I never thought about it too much. And it never bothered me as well, why would it? Although some things were a bit off. Like he'd make way too many compliments, or try to always touch me or get us alone. But he's like that with every woman, so I didn't pay much attention to that. What did bother me was the way he talked about women that rejected him, women that he tried to get together with and something went wrong and women in general. He would often use such words as "bitch", "whore", "slut", "stupid", "dumb" and so on. I know that he slept with prostitutes too, he said that himself. Honestly, he's the kind of guy who flirts with everything that moves and as I assume it does it so that at least someone would buy that. He also is what I'd call overly traditional, as in "I earn money and you stay at home and do all this labour for me". Basically a walking red flag, it's clear for me now but it wasn't before.
Spoiler - I never liked him in any way. I just brushed all those things off and simply was on good terms with him at work. We never met outside of work, the only time that we did was when we were hanging out in a group of people, having drinks etc and it was fine. But he'd always ask me to go out and drink with him one on one, and for some odd reason, I did not want to do that, like my gut was stopping me. And thank God I never did.
But this one time I was extremely bored and had nothing to do, and he randomly asked to go for a walk so I did. It was late in the evening. Btw he was hanging out with some other girl before we did so. And I said that I won't be drinking. So we went for a walk, had a conversation, all that. And then he started saying random shit about us moving in together and that I'm pretty etc. He'd forcefully hold my hand or my back as we were walking, did shit like putting his head near my neck, holding my things. I was extremely uncomfortable and I said that we're just friends, so which he replied that we could do a lot of things while being friends. He also mentioned that we're far away from where I live so we could just hang more and then come over to his place. And I was like oh hell no, so I made an excuse to get tf away, which I couldn't because he insisted to take me home. I did get home safe and I don't know what he expected, I didn't think much of this evening and forgot about that.
But this one time we were hanging out in a group of friends, and everyone was pretty tipsy. So he comes to me, he put his hand on my leg which I removed instantly, and he started asking when will we go drinking alone. I began making up some excuses in a form of a joke, and what he said had just instantly sobered me up. He said, "don't worry, I'm not going to try to fuck you anymore because I have a chick now". WHAT?? All this time the dude I thought of as some friendly dude at work was trying to fuck me?? He's almost 10 years older and I have never given him the smallest sign that I want that. He's still asking me to go out for drinks and he still flirts at work and makes comments out loud about my body and how I look etc, but now I know better and I wouldn't put myself in such danger ever again because God knows how it could have ended.
This situation has really opened my eyes to men and how sick and depraved they are. You never really know how sick they are, do you?
Now, ladies, I got lucky this time, but next time could be way worse. Could you please be so kind and give me some tips on how to not be fooled by older men? How to not get inside of their web? I'm young and I don't have that much experience in dealing with men, but I don't want to be fooled and taken advantage of.
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