I hate how normalized sex is

Maisiebr · 2020-09-14T11:20:41+00:00

I have a high sex drive, but yeah, sex isn't fair for women and I need certain conditions, precautions, etc. Most men just don't cut it for me. It's very rare when I trust a man and I'm attracted to him that much, when we are completely free and wild with each other... And I absolutely despise how sex is commodified. You can't talk to men without them starting to talk about sex less than a minute into the conversation. Innuendos, remarks, softcore advertisements in your face every day. And pornified everything. Ah, I'm tired.

sorshii · 2020-09-14T12:01:09+00:00

While scrolling the popular tab on my iphone nearly 60% of content is girl subreddits. Either hotcelebtrity or celebritywithbigboobs or redheads or even little things like dimples on naked ass girls. Like why do men make thousands & thousands of sex related porno subs.

Prinnykin · 2020-09-14T07:47:50+00:00

I haven't had sex for years and my friends used to pick on me for it. When I was dating and had sex with men, I got pregnant on birth control and caught STD's. It was just a complete disaster.

I felt like something was wrong with me for not having sex because my friends kept pressuring me. So, I removed those "friends" from my life.

I also don't care if people think I'm a "prude". If I don't want to have sex, I don't have to! It's my body!

I'm only going to have sex again if I find a man I really like, who respects me. Otherwise, I don't care if I never have sex again.

sorshii · 2020-09-14T12:02:26+00:00

The endless innuendos make me sick. I used to be someone who made them a lot because of a hyper sexualised childhood but they make me disgusted now. I try to avoid them at all costs, cant people find anything else funny? I used to talk to my friends about "dirty" things but I just cant anymore, it makes me so uncomfortable.

ello-motto · 2020-09-14T11:32:00+00:00

Sex has been overtaken by porn culture.

Sex positivism has been hijacked by PORN POSITIVISM.

THEY ARE NOT THE SAME.

One is normal, human, healthy to do in a relationship with a partner you love. The other is absolute depravity that is ruining men's relationship with women (only seeing women as a wank/cum tools) and women's view of themselves (my self worth is based on how much I live up to the porn gaze).

Porn has completely hijacked and corrupted what sex is.

People are getting defensive about their kinks to the point they want new legislature and identity labels to defend it. But this is NOT what sex was ever about. This skewed version of "sex" is all depravity from the porn industry, that's profiting from the false narrative that "Sex is dirty. Sex is and always should be about depravity. Sex is kinks you should be ashamed of. Sex is where you do things you are ashamed of."

Now imagine an entire generation of people watching these messages, it's going to filter out to their work. People in advertising and marketing do their jobs 9-to-5, then go home and consume porn or Hollywood/Netflix TV shows that are heavily influenced by this corrupt porn culture.

So is it any surprise that this all gets filtered down into their ideas of how to sell/pitch a product?

I'm sick of it. Sex is a beautiful thing that's been completely twisted, drugged up and ruined by the porn industry.

2020-09-14T07:41:56+00:00

I don’t want to have sex anymore either. I had it and idk now I feel empty bc we aren’t together anymore. Too personal of an experience and it makes me sad bc I think it’ll be harder to find a partner who will wait for me.

Especially when Covid is over i think guys will only get more desperate and thirsty for it. And guys want a virgin but are far from it. Innocence is so fetishized it freaks me out how a woman’s unwillingness to sleep with people is a kink to some. The psychology of some sick men literally scares me 😭🤢

2020-09-14T09:03:04+00:00

One thing that really worries are the pornsick expectations. Nowadays just having PIV is not enough for men. They expect women to like being choked, humiliated and more.

Is sex really about sex nowadays? It seems that it is just an excuse so men can get violent in this specific context.

Sewud · 2020-09-14T12:49:44+00:00

I do think that I have sex purely because it's what the guy wants. If it was up to me and I could choose anything we'd play Battleship. I tried that once with my ex. We had sex a thousand times, but he only agreed to play my game once and he complained the entire time. Actually same for everything else I wanted to do, including jogging, camping, hiking, going to the water park and going to the winter carnival. He tried those things once but complained vocally the entire duration and made us go home early.

plutonian_princess · 2020-09-14T09:29:39+00:00

It is proven that out of all people, straight women receive the least amount of orgasms during sex. Why should we even bother? Men suck in bed but they expect pornstar performance from women 🤢🤢🤢 they complain about „starfishing” while majority of them dont even realize that most women cant orgasm from PIV alone. I would gladly enjoy having casual sex with other women but unfortunately im not lesbian or bi.. straight women have it the worst

Mimory125 · 2020-09-14T13:56:18+00:00

Casual sex for women is dangerous AF, i don't know how can girls be in FWB situations, i once was on it and i got anxiety over everything. Asking to myself might i be pregnant? No... Its just terrible...... Men benefit waaaaaayyy more with casual sex than women Will ever do.

ninetiesbaby16 · 2020-09-14T10:48:47+00:00

Wow get rid of friends who can only talk about sex. They are shallow and have nothing going on in their lives and no hobbies or interests to bond over. It’s so boring and very “low-class” behavior as my mom would say.

mango_pecan · 2020-09-14T10:09:39+00:00

Be careful with your friend, she's sounding like a libfem pickme. Also, your body is none of her business and I really think you should throw her out.

AnniaT · 2020-09-14T08:02:56+00:00

I like sex and want it in the context of a relationship but I'm also tired of these men who simply can't respect it and try everything they can to get low effort sex.

dragon_wolf4 · 2020-09-14T10:06:26+00:00

[deleted]

2020-09-14T11:51:09+00:00

Someone else points out on this post having sex seems to be more about violence then pleasure. I agree I think nowadays most scrotes are using sex as a coverup so we won't notice they inflicting violence on us. I never figure it out until my abusive ex rapes me and saw the sick fucker getting enjoyment out of it when he describes how he rape me in my sleep. The look on his face of enjoyment makes me sick because I still remember it to this day. I also punch him in the face because of it. Think about it if the stranger who start choking you during sex you wouldn't think he trying to kill/hurt you we assume he thinking we into choking VS trying to choke you during your date. Like you order soup the next thing you know he choking you, he can't say oops sorry I thought you were into it like he could during sex.

The pleasure for men nowadays is coming from inflicting violence towards us. Which is why I never ever sleep with a man I barely know. I refuse to trust a strange man or one I barely know ever again with my safety. My friend finds choking hot I don't there so many Jane Does that were murdered by being stranged by their killers. I think its gross a man is getting off putting me in a vulnerable position (with his hands around my throat).

BTW, ladies don't be afraid to tell your future daughters to assume every man is a potenial rapist/ violent person. My dad use nicer word "pigs" but I feel hidden rapist, violent deviant is more fitting for men nowadays. Also, male lurkers I don't care if I piss you off with this comment. Feel free to get angry, that's all men do nowadays anyway to cause harm towards women.

__kamikaze__ · 2020-09-14T13:16:34+00:00

Thank you for posting this.

I feel exactly like you. Sometimes I feel down about it, but then when I see posts like this it makes me feel better and comforted that my feelings are justified. There’s nothing wrong with us, it’s society that’s gone crazy.

Villanelloh · 2020-09-14T12:24:58+00:00

Nobody talks about sex anymore, they talk about lust. Men openly talk about bj, anal, bdsm, dom/sub and any other degrading sex act but they squirm when you ask them about condoms, boundaries, rules, birth control, testing and most importantly of all FEELINGS. It's like the song warned people about, Lets Talk About Sex. No wonder women aren't as interested in sex anymore, it's a minefield out there

dragon_wolf4 · 2020-09-14T15:11:11+00:00

Raging capitalism is one of major reasons why. Sex rules the men's world i.e sex sells, and so many industries make so much money off of it (directly and indirectly), so they influenced the media and common culture to be hypersexualized. I mean sex can be great, but we live in a hypersexualized world which is kinda too much imo.

suspended_animation_ · 2020-09-14T15:31:28+00:00

[deleted]

Snoo-77746 · 2020-09-14T16:17:39+00:00

I think men are way more thirsty for sex so they brainwashed generations of women to think we have to do it really often when in past people only had sex to make kids or in marriage.

Not having sex shouldnt be embarrasing and no you shouldn't just get "laid" to fix your problems.

Also men get off in 90% of time while women frequently fake orgasms so PIV straight sex is way easier and more pleasurable for the man.

aquagirl888 · 2020-09-14T13:37:16+00:00

Same feelings here. I want to have sex with someone I love but I don’t want it to be expected, forced or even me getting pressured to do it. Some people just can’t understand that. They always correlate fun with sex 🤦🏻‍♀️

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2020-09-14T13:27:37+00:00

Yes! I get it. I used to be a very sexual person, but that was also because I had fuck all else going on in my life and my life centred around getting validation from men. I’m not saying women don’t enjoy sex - of course they do! But I think anyone being that obsessed is in an unhealthy state of mind. And I can say that for me, I was preoccupied because it was centred around validation...

But now, eh. I think I’ve suffered too much trauma tbh. But also, I have shit to do in my life! And it’s just not the centre of my world.

I saw a post in an anti porn sub where a girl was saying she was low in sex drive, and she herself had linked it to our porn sick/ sex obsessed world. But everyone is as suggesting maybe she’s asexual, maybe it’s a physical issue, or emotional and go and talk to a therapist.

But it’s actually normal to be traumatised by our societies obsession with it anyway. But yea, why the obsession?! It makes people stupid if they literally can’t think of anything else. And I think in some ways it’s political.

Anyway, I can’t stand the constant bombardment and innuendos. It’s boring and it’s also traumatic at the same time. I took 18 months off dating and sex, and I was unsure if u would ever even bother having sex again. and my girlfriends were like “omg you need to see a therapist. Work your shit out. Aren’t you horny.”

Well, no. Therapy a lot of the time doesn’t even work because it’s SO behind the times, and to be quite frank, completely misses the mark most often. It attributes issues to the person to change, but when they’ve got this constant bombardment of sexual shit coming at them from the world, it’s hard to work through... because most of the population is messed up when it comes to sex now. Just like they are with eating and other habits.

But yes, I wish our world was less sex obsessed. But then we would probably end up with healthy people and relationships and I guess they don’t want us to have that.

kaitybubbly · 2020-09-14T18:19:43+00:00

I agree with you! I am on the asexual spectrum and I find it exhausting how prevalent sex is in our society.

LondonDaPink · 2020-09-14T19:21:39+00:00

As an asexual woman who would actually like to be in a romantic relationship, I feel your pain. I went OLD recently after leaving it alone for years and the few guys who weren't ogres were already pressuring me to 'meet up'. Wtf is that? It's either we're going out on a date, NO SEX involved, or you're a waste of time. I clearly posted that I'm asexual so that means sex is of little to no interest to me. It's just all exhausting to me.

LevelTurbulent · 2020-09-14T20:03:03+00:00

I have a high sex drive and I'm still disgusted by often I have to see it and how many people think it's OK to talk to me about it.

Apparently a lot of society seems to think you have to be a degenerate pervert screaming and laughing about your genitals in a coffee shop and having sex against dumpsters in alleys or you're a prude. God forbid anybody have a little class and enjoy their sex life privately.

redfarmmmmm · 2020-09-14T16:52:53+00:00

When i moved to the west, i was so surprised at how prevalent hookup culture is. Theres no gain for women from this culture.

greenshadownymph · 2020-09-14T22:54:43+00:00

Wait. What is your problem with condoms? Serious question I used to work for planned parenthood and had to talk women through their condom problems. What exactly is your problem with condoms?

devoushka · 2020-09-15T17:51:32+00:00

I like sex but if I'm open to having sex/hooking up with someone I'm seen as thirsty. If I'm not open to it or want to wait I'm seen as a prude. It makes me just want to avoid the entire thing.

Title	I hate how normalized sex is
Author	mango_pecan
Upvotes	270
Comments	58
Date	September 14, 2020 7:28 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/isgc2a/i_hate_how_normalized_sex_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-hate-how-normalized-sex-is.229262 https://theredarchive.com/post/229262

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