I liked you better when you were miserable

Adawritesrules · 2020-09-01T23:46:13+00:00

I wonder if she is now enforcing boundaries and that’s what bothers him

vmuzondi · 2020-09-02T00:41:24+00:00

The age gap is all I need to know.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-09-02T01:09:07+00:00

Advice? Go back in time and don't marry a man 7 years older than you when you're in your early twenties! He was just looking for a blank slate act upon who would go along with things. Now you're getting healthy and he doesn't want you anymore.

creamtart_ · 2020-09-02T00:23:00+00:00

He doesn’t like that she has developed confidence and assertiveness skills.

Any man that doesn’t appreciate those qualities is probably the reason why she was in a poor headspace originally.

Reimustein · 2020-09-02T01:19:42+00:00

The husband is basically saying, "I liked you better when you were depressed." Disgusting. She shouldn't be with someone who actually WANTS her to be depressed.

NotUrmillenial · 2020-09-02T01:49:17+00:00

I take pride in the fact I’m difficult for abusive/toxic people to love.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-09-02T02:10:29+00:00

[deleted]

SansaDeservedBetter · 2020-09-02T04:03:58+00:00

He liked her when she was miserable, because depressed women with low self-esteem are much easier to manipulate in their sick minds. It’s also why so many mentally ill women are coerced into BDSM sex practices, because they feel like they deserve the pain and the men get off on our pain.

2020-09-02T00:11:50+00:00

I don’t have a husband or a boyfriend so take my advice with a grain of salt. I have committed to myself that my marriage commitment to a man will not mean they can treat me poorly and I will just keep playing the loving wife role. I don’t believe you can change a LVM to HV. I just don’t believe that is even an option. Sure bring out a better side of a LVM but not actually create a HVM. I know you live with him but I personally would need to distance myself at least emotionally and physically leave the house a lot. However, I don’t think that is good advice for a relationship with a LVM. I feel that will make him more mad. Did you marry him when you were depressed? If so I think you should consider leaving!!!! If you married him when you both were happy, I would consider that he himself is depressed and it’s hard for him to feel below you now. Not that it makes it okay at all.

lacyvulture · 2020-09-02T02:44:15+00:00

I cannot understand this mindset. What was he getting from her being depressed? I deal with depression and it makes me horrible to be around I cant imagine anyone loving that. He must be threated that she will leave him if she is in her right mind. Or maybe she is refusing sex more often, and is not as easy to control and manipulate. Either way he is very manipulative and she needs to run.

Muffcakelord · 2020-09-02T06:19:25+00:00

Several women artists like grimes have sung a cover on a song that very clearly states "you only like me when i'm sad" and i bet it's about thid phenomenon

wonkyeyes8877 · 2020-09-02T02:35:43+00:00

Stop.

Anytime someone under the age of 28 is married, I get weirded out.

So much personal growth and brain development happens in our 20's. I can't imagine having settled down back then.

Buckley92 · 2020-09-02T05:49:06+00:00

Divorce, don't have kids and no more sex.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-09-02T09:26:44+00:00

Advice? Run like the wind.

Also, the age gap is unsavory. Part of the attraction was him being able to manipulate her. She's got game now, and he's bummed.

mrspinster · 2020-09-02T08:27:25+00:00

What a pos

NottodayScrote · 2020-09-02T14:07:37+00:00

At one point I stopped telling men about my past because they seemed to think it gave them permission to treat me like crap. But it seemed like every guy I liked couldn't ever feel the same because they were in love with some girl that had mental issues going on. I always thought it was because these girls were like damsels in distress that they needed to protect. Now, it makes sense. They preferr a woman they believe they can control and manipulate more easy

Time_Barracuda · 2020-09-02T15:08:09+00:00

I'm sure part of this is him being pissy that the money being spent on therapy could be going to video games and onlyfans.

eucalyptusiscool · 2020-09-02T22:42:45+00:00

Okay but this is kind of a beautiful thing. As you heal, you start to see your value , and you shed the dead weight. Your energy becomes better and it makes people who aren’t on your level, uncomfortable.

seeyoutuesdaynext · 2020-09-02T12:45:07+00:00

This happened to me with my ex-husband. I started challenging him to actually do things around the house instead of playing video games, and he couldn’t hang. I’m so grateful to my therapist for gently pointing out his bullshit over time haha.

greenolivesandgarlic · 2020-09-02T14:25:27+00:00

Any advice? Yeah. Throw the whole man out.

Lindapod · 2020-09-03T00:37:23+00:00

Has she tried communicating?

MgrofChaos · 2020-09-03T00:59:01+00:00

https://tenor.com/view/dumpster-man-throw-out-trash-gif-14761446

Title	I liked you better when you were miserable
Author	booboodoughnut
Upvotes	377
Comments	49
Date	September 1, 2020 11:44 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ikvs1a/i_liked_you_better_when_you_were_miserable/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-liked-you-better-when-you-were-miserable.211659 https://theredarchive.com/post/211659

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