Is jealousy a pickme trait?

Maisiebr · 2020-05-03T18:34:15+00:00

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DunRuther · 2020-05-03T18:56:42+00:00

When I was a pickme, I experienced jealousy, and a lot of time it was fueled by the LVM/NVM I was with. One of my exes would compare me to other women, saying things like “why can’t you dress like her?” or “her hair looks so good, you should do yours like that”.

Another ex would watch porn daily, usually threesomes with tattooed “alternative” girls and he made it known how much he loved their aesthetic, even though I’m nothing like that and couldn’t be even if I wanted to. He would often try to setup threesomes with women like that (spoiler alert: none of them wanted to participate so it never happened). For the record, I was never interested in threesomes anyway.

He would also fuel my jealousy by hanging out one-on-one with his “favorite ex”, and he wouldn’t even allow me to meet her until we were together for like six months. When I would bring it up that I was uncomfortable with their lunchtime drink dates while I was working, of course I got called jealous. He had also made this woman an elaborate piece of woodwork after they broke up but before he met me. When I asked him to make me a piece too, he bitched and moaned about how it was sooo hard and sooo much work and how he didn’t want to, and it was so rude of me to ask and I need to stop being jealous.

Davina33 · 2020-05-03T19:01:33+00:00

In relationships, think jealousy is often a sign of knowing that the dude is not that into you and instead of leaving, women try to "fight" other women. Which obviously is pointless and stressful. So kinda pickme.And in work too, women who ruin your reputation just because they don't like your face, who feel threatened just by your presence, are beyond pickmes, I used to be harassed by one of my coworker, and she literally fall in the narcissistic category. WHy else would she degrade someone she doesn't even know? It seems that it was her thing to degrade other coworkers and ask for them to get fired as if she was the boss. It's like she needed to control all the workers she doesn't like, it's beyond a pickme thing imho. BUt i wouldn't be surprised if in her private life she was indeed a huge pickme. She used to say men who get married right after the death of their woman was a "natural" thing for example. In the end I left, because even our boss was scared of her, it was pathetic.

It's like these girls in highschool too, they degrade you, make you feel bad if you are ugly, reject you etc. Most of them were huge pickmes.

In both cases, women seem to need attention and enjoy hurting other women just because they can.

My conclusion was that women who are pickmes, tend to be violent against fellow women to compensate the fact that they are submissive partners.

kiyankiriam · 2020-05-03T19:31:37+00:00

But with jealously, its mostly the guys fault. If the guy creates and gives healthy and stable affection, you wont feel jealous mostly.

butterfree_zhuangzi · 2020-05-03T18:24:17+00:00

Jealousy or envy is natural, but if a woman is starting rumours about you just because you look good, she's a real nutcase. Envy without self-control is pathetic.

brainsandb00bs · 2020-05-03T18:24:24+00:00

Yes it is a PickMe trait. They see other women as competition and their man as a prize that could be snatched away.

hilariouslystated · 2020-05-03T23:30:53+00:00

I think jealousy is natural and not a pick-me trait but acting on that jealousy to harm another woman because a man wants her instead of you is a pick-me trait.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-05-03T19:15:59+00:00

I snuffed my feelings of jealousy in my teens. I told myself if I needed to feel jealous, then the man wasn't right for me. And that has worked well for me my entire life.

Also, I don't pay attention to how strangers possibly feel about me when I'm out. I sort of stay in my own little bubble. It's not worth getting upset at stranger's reactions. You should pay attention to your surroundings, for your own safety, but it you are getting jealousy or judgement vibes off someone or a group, it's best to tune them out and just live your life. I just assume no one is minding my business when I'm out, even if it's obvious that they are.

siberiansummer · 2020-05-03T20:51:26+00:00

It's absolutely a pick-me trait! And the funniest part of it - it usually comes from a hot woman herself. I feel sorry for these girls though, like how low your self-esteem must be?

quaintlyspoken · 2020-05-03T19:06:35+00:00

Jealousy is an absolute trait of a Pickme.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2020-05-04T04:32:11+00:00

It absolutely is "pickme" behavior. It ironically makes them even less attractive to men. There's a special place in hell for women who nitpick at & put other women down. I used to be this really nice girl who was super sweet and helpful of everyone and harmless and trusting and I can't be that anymore, not in the workplace, not around certain women. A LOT of women are super cool amazing people, and I spend my time helping and uplifting them, but BY GOD. it is a NIGHTMARE to work with PICKMEs. ESPECIALLY when they obviously have a crush on a coworker in our office. Oh god. I seriously, SERIOUSLY feel bad for women who are dealing with this!

I've absolutely had this happen to me at work. Women disqualifying my contributions to a project. Stealing my ideas, and then coming to me when they can't make it work because it wasn't their idea to begin with... excluding me from meetings I should have been involved in, going around me to my supervisor about something I definitely should have been involved in. I've had to call IT to restore files that were deleted from my (shared) folder because another girl on the project didn't like me and deleted them. I now have to backup my files by emailing them to myself before saving them to this folder. She now deletes the folder backups that are saved on the server (thanks to IT).

I've bent over backwards to help certain women at my workplace, working late nights to cover for someone else's mistake and then having her turn around and bad mouth me to a supervisor... the only saving grace being the paper trail (emails, file timestamps, etc) to prove that I did my job. I've had women comb through weeks and weeks of emails looking for something wrong, and then being very upset when they didn't find it. I've had other people in the office get away with fireable offenses, yet I get chewed out for an EMAIL TYPO that was sent from my phone.... I've had to shift my working style and workflow to document and cover my ass as much as possible, and I've had to learn Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques for identifying and dealing with hostile critics at work in order to be able to survive and secure my promotion.

I've had to literally document and collect dirt on other women in order to save my own ass from the dirt they've collected on me and I've had to seriously and completely discredit and throw my own colleagues under the bus when they attempted to drag my name through the mud for no reason at all simply because they formed a click and I wasn't in with them. I now defensively begin emails with my own supervisor CC'd and HER supervisor CC'd just to make sure no funny business happens with certain female colleagues.

One woman had her ex husband come into the office to drop off her son, the man was locked outside our door because it was after hours, and he simply asked me where her office was, and she blew up at me, asking me questions like "where do YOU know him from???" and "are you his friend from college??" NO.

The fuckery is REAL, it's MADDENING. It's exhausting. WE NEED IT TO STOP.

mightbethrowawayyy · 2020-05-03T19:17:21+00:00

Yesterday I gave a death glare and the mean girl up and down look to a boomer who coughed in public without covering her mouth 🙄🙄🙄

But jokes aside, jealousy surely is a pickme trait

lickyblickyuhh · 2020-05-04T00:37:31+00:00

In my opinion, yes. This type of jealousy is pretty pathetic and comes off as immature. I don’t feel I have to get jealous in my relationship because if he went and disrespected me for another girl then he pays the price of losing me

oasisreverie · 2020-05-04T21:31:32+00:00

Jealousy is a form of territorialism. It's animalistic, and regressive.

It's normal to set boundaries for how men talk to or about other women. Men must be respectful, and not triangulate us with other women.

If a man does things that make you question his intentions with other women, it is best to just walk away. Have a clean break and leave. Staying with him will lead to intrusive thoughts and resentment.

There is no need to get possessive or feel like you must fight with other women. Always be ready to walk away from a man. They're not worth fighting over.

bunnybuns77742 · 2020-05-03T19:51:59+00:00

I Definitely think this is an insecure/pick me thing. I've somewhat recently lost a lot of weight and I've been exercising outdoors and I get so many looks like that now compared to almost never getting that several months ago. It really bothered me at first but they're doing it because you look good!

It's also mostly overweight women if I'm being honest and it makes me feel weird since I used to be in their shoes at almost 200 pounds and I never judged a girl for being skinny or looking good.

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