Ladies, choose wisely and ruthlessly!

Ms_Tilly · 2019-12-21T04:11:06+00:00

A lot of men will become jealous of your pregnancy and upset that you can't do everything you used to do for them, including sex. And then after the baby is born they are jealous of the baby. It happened to me and pregnancy was HIS idea. He had to go fight for his country for 11 months and I couldn't WAIT for him to leave so he could stop stressing me out. When he got back it was the same old shit and when I realized he was never going to change, about three months later lol, I dumped his ass. I spent the next five years struggling my ass off even though he had 50% custody and 50% of childcare costs covered. And he stressed me out bad the first couple years because he was angry I wouldn't take him back. And then he met his current wife and started chilling out. He's still so selfish and ignorant that I could scream but it's so much better. That experience scarred me for life. No more marriages. No more kids. No more nurturing partner who does more than her share.

CHOOSE WISELY

BobLoblawsLawBlog201 · 2019-12-21T06:20:08+00:00

"I want to take a year off work"

Americans, I legit don't understand how so many of you go back to work 6 weeks post-partum. I actually couldn't sit without a hemorrhoid pillow for 3 months after my first baby. I WAS STILL LIMPING, for pete's sake! And don't even get me started on breastfeeding and how much that killed me.

I went back to work after 5.5 months with my first and 3 months with my second but I had abundant free childcare (3 sets of grandparents) and i still regret going back at 3 months with my second baby. My heart goes out to you all going back to work at 6 weeks. That's systemic abuse of mothers, imo!

cocainetea · 2019-12-21T02:49:01+00:00

My fiancé and I just had this (heated) conversation because I will N O T give birth if certain standards are not met. Don’t get me wrong, my fiancé is a great guy and takes care of me, but when raising a child, your standards have to be EXTREMELY HIGH.

My Dad/Sperm donor was a LVM and I will not raise a child in those type of conditions.

bethestorm · 2019-12-21T03:54:59+00:00

My ex husband was at his most attentive, supportive and sweet during pregnancy and for the first four or five months after.

Then he hit me. Then more things happened.. I cannot agree more with this post but would add to it, to always have a backup plan and to want a child yourself. My ex wanted kids I really didn't but slowly came around to the idea of one and then it happened so fast. I almost terminated actually. Sometimes I feel immense guilt wondering if that would have been better.

Just make sure you want kids and ask yourself if you'd still want them if he left or, for example, tragically passed away. Would you be able to thrive no matter what, without his help? Make sure you want to for you. And you don't have to justify to anyone if you don't want to. Period

__kamikaze__ · 2019-12-20T23:46:18+00:00

Pregnancy by a LVM is fucking terrifying. Imagine suffering for 9 months— likely destroying your body— only to be cheated on and treated like shit. Yeah no thanks.

2019-12-21T01:37:31+00:00

This!! My mom had five kids with my bum ass dad who never helped with nightly feedings, morning changes, rocking us to sleep. No wonder she was always so stressed when we were kids. It was hard for her to believe she deserved anything different, until almost 15 years after their divorce.

blackopium777 · 2019-12-20T22:22:16+00:00

Getting pregnant by LVM is like self-harm. (I know that alot of women didn't know better, I feel your pain!) Being pregnant with a HVM as your partner is alot less draining and hard. My pregnancy is hard so far, but I rarely do chores, I don't need to cook if I don't want to, I didn't lift anything slightly heavy for months and whenever I feel sad, I am heard and seen. My SIL was working until the 8th month, did all the chores and had to endure seeing her ex-boyfriend going out drinking (while having no job) every weekend. She had to do therapy because she had really heavy depression after giving birth.

2019-12-21T04:19:09+00:00

I notice she says "give birth to". How about also not get pregnant by? Or not even have sex with in the first place?

Don't do ANYTHING with a low value, useless man that could endanger your health, ladies. What a waste. You are worth so much more!

twoXfeminist · 2019-12-21T01:09:52+00:00

Woman makes perfectly reasonable argument

Men: "She carried my spawn for nine months, gave birth, and dares to ask to be respected afterwards? When will women ever learn their place! Feminism is a curse!!!"

tireddandelion · 2019-12-20T22:40:27+00:00

[deleted]

ineffablekitten · 2019-12-21T02:51:37+00:00

[deleted]

chaostrulyreigns · 2019-12-21T14:48:37+00:00

You can choose wisely but studies have shown that men can become abusive after you get pregnant after being fine previously.

It happened to me.

He screamed at me when I was in labour because I asked him to go slower over bumps when driving the hospital.

dallyan · 2019-12-21T15:08:31+00:00

The problem is that men often change A LOT once you’re pregnant and the baby comes along.

anchovycupcakes · 2019-12-21T02:48:22+00:00

I dumped my boyfriend and it was in large part because the relationship was getting more serious and he wanted children BUT, in the totality of our relationship, he barely paid for half and was a huge tight-ass.

I thought... If I have a child with you, I'm going to be pregnant for 9 months take care of the baby and pay for "half" of everything??? Fuck no!!! GFTO!!!

I mean, I can go to a sperm bank and still do all the work and pay for everything, wtf do I need you for?

And it was this experience that made me realise a man needs to show he is willing and able TO PROVIDE.

Or he can get the fuck out.

Ms_Diva_Muffin · 2019-12-21T02:00:36+00:00

So so true! If a relationship is not strong before a baby, it ain't gonna get strong after!!!!

randomgirlimok · 2019-12-21T01:45:02+00:00

But even if you get that, he can leave a few years later and start a new family with someone else and just send you a check

lindsayk1980 · 2019-12-21T07:43:07+00:00

Easier said then done!! It’s so easy for the guy to flake out and be disconnected. Pick wisely for sure. Guys lie!!!

realityhofosho · 2019-12-21T11:07:46+00:00

Ironically, it’s the L est of the LVMs that impregnate the most people!

tireddandelion · 2019-12-21T01:31:22+00:00

I’m a fan of a music group and they’re having a baby and I know damn well the mother is gonna be cooking, clean, etc right after birth for her husband. She was brainwashed into it. All the fans are so happy for them and I’m just cringing...I know they’re a very conservative household, and the man can’t even make his own damn cereal

Darkchick21 · 2019-12-21T02:38:26+00:00

Preach.

Make_America_love_ · 2019-12-21T21:42:33+00:00

I honestly never want to have kids. I don’t see why it is necessary for women to subject themselves to this because society thinks it’s our god-given role to pop out humans from our vaginas. I don’t want to go through the pain, I don’t want stretch marks, and I don’t want to lose the body I worked so hard on. I also don’t want to be stuck taking care of another human if things go south with the father. Yes, I know I sound selfish but I don’t care. My body, my choice. If men had to give birth the human race would be on the brink of extinction.

That being said, if a woman truly feels like having kids, please let it be with someone who will love and support you. Also make sure that if things go south (because men can change before you even blink an eye) you and your baby will be set financially.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-12-20T22:39:26+00:00

That's reasonable.

SunnyCarol · 2019-12-21T11:29:09+00:00

I cannot understand people who oppose this and equate the father's discomfort to the mother's.

sandzak_bih · 2019-12-21T10:59:45+00:00

I can't believe this is controversial because where I live almost every woman stays at home for 2 years after giving birth.

porcelain-flesh · 2019-12-21T02:20:29+00:00

I wish I had. 😞

Loiacono3137 · 2019-12-21T16:18:19+00:00

Amen

mzTess0906 · 2019-12-21T20:02:29+00:00

He doesn’t always stay loyal and faithful and loving sis. Have a kid for you not some guy who’s good at telling you what you want to hear.

ny-lady · 2019-12-22T12:24:53+00:00

And people wonder why some women dont want children.... They think you're 'broken', no I was just woke and its WAY more than people bargain for.

I am shammed for making the choice to not get into something I dont want. Children are a HUGE deal, HUGE.

RockyMollyBrazzy · 2019-12-21T10:11:03+00:00

PERIOD!!!

ilikesoy_ · 2020-03-04T14:20:44+00:00

i refuse to give birth or be pregnant period.

fuck that shit. adoption is ethical

Title	Ladies, choose wisely and ruthlessly!
Author	w0manifest
Upvotes	2183
Comments	64
Date	December 20, 2019 9:34 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/edgft8/ladies_choose_wisely_and_ruthlessly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/ladies-choose-wisely-and-ruthlessly.686533 https://theredarchive.com/post/686533

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