The term future faking was popularised by Natalie Lue of Baggage Reclaim. It describes a phenomenon where a man promises things in the future (often unprompted) to get what he wants in the present. He can promise things like marriage, children, moving in together or getting a better career.

It’s easy to assume that a man wouldn’t talk about the future if he was no intention of sticking around to deliver his promises, but the reality is often very different. Future faking is a common tactic used by men who mean you no good, because it means you get invested in them and the relationship faster. That’s the pay-off for men who future fake. They’re able to reap the benefits (sex, attention, love, devotion, etc), without having to show that he’s serious.

So, how can we avoid being future faked?

  1. Observe a man’s actions over what he says. A useful formula to determine whether you are being future faked is this:

Promises - reasonable actions to fulfil that promise = future faking.

Pay attention to when he promises something small, such as promising to call you at a certain time, but fails to deliver.

  1. Be especially wary of men who talk about huge milestones, such as marriage and kids, too soon. I know this sub promotes the idea that men know who they want to marry straight away. But a high value man will still do his due diligence before telling a woman that he wants to settle down with her. Men who start talking about marriage and kids early on have form - they’ve done it to other women before. Understand that there’s no way a man can know if you’re marriage material until he’s gotten to know you over a period of time. It seems flattering when a guy recognised that you’re fabulous and wants to cuff you within the first week, but it’s really anything but. There’s a high chance that he’s a future faker.

  2. If someone seems too good to true, they probably are. Make sure you slow the pace of a relationship down. If a relationship is meant to last a long time, there’s no need to rush.