"Men protecting other men" and why you should keep you standards sky high cause of it.

rainbowshummingbird · 2021-09-17T01:48:40+00:00

On the subject of men protecting men, the US women’s gymnasts who suffered repeated sexual assaults at the hand of their team doctor makes my blood boil. None of the adults helped, none of the leaders in US Gymnastics helped, even the FBI told them to keep confidential their experiences of abuse. While these gymnasts were being quietly obedient other gymnasts were being sexually abused.

Don’t be quiet. Don’t be compliant. Of course they want the gymnasts to be quiet, so that men can get away with their sexual abuse of girls. Men covering up abuse so that they may make money off of these very talented girls. Makes me sick.

DuchessDurag · 2021-09-17T02:04:04+00:00

I’ve seen this so many times on YouTube. A single mom “Should have chose better” meanwhile a single dads can do no wrong.

No matter how much baggage or drama a man creates other men co-sign that behaviour and blame women.

The worst is when men protect their low value friends knowing damn well they aren’t relationship material but continue to claim women are crazy.

bookworm1896 · 2021-09-17T05:48:41+00:00

I get so sick from society blaming women for anything that happened. When I was at college there was a girl who got murdered in her dorm from her ex boyfriend. (Dorms in our country are just small appartements for students not like in other countrys. ) she had broken up with her boyfriend because he was married. He then came to visit her, killed her and left the country. To buy himself more time he even took her phone and wrote messages to her friends. Her girl friends got suspicious and asked the janitor to let them in.

Whenever we talked about this someone would say: but why did she let him in? ... this made me so angry. Do they notice that they imply that every woman has to think about the danger of her ex killing her all the time? Still the persons saying: why did she let him in, are the same that go "not all men" all the time.

It's always the woman's fault when she gets catcalled, abused or even killed, yet we are not allowed NOT to trust men, because "not all men"...

Love_Artemis · 2021-09-16T22:08:30+00:00

They do this because men are more affected by tribalism

Good men may defend the actions of other men who are wrong because in some way they relate to them or see themselves in their actions,” Sprowl agrees. Whether they agree with the actions or not, they’re worried about the team, or tribe.

Scientists suspect that tribalism, or the tendency to form groups based commonalities such as race or gender as an adaptive strategy for survival. This system allows for members of the same community to help each other, but also to quickly categorize outsiders as threats. It drives peaceful behaviors towards those who are similar and aggressive behaviors towards those who are different. Women and children are responsive to tribalism research shows, but there’s evidence that men are distinctly sensitive to it. Men are more likely to be supportive and protective of members in their group, intolerant of outsiders, and violent towards outgroups, studies suggest.

It’s possible that the #MeToo movement represents a recent threat and could provoke some of this pushback from men who’d never grope a person, masturbate in front of them, or trap them in a room and try to keep them from screaming, but still relate to the men who do on some unconscious level. They’re bound to this particular tribe by more than biological gender, but by the power and privilege they share and are deeply afraid of losing.

Also:

Men may not have done anything on the level of the offender they support, but they perhaps have committed some smaller version of the same offense and fear that they will be stigmatized or brought to task in the same way,” explains Brooke Sprowl, a family therapist.

The notion that support for sexual offenders, in particular, comes from a paranoid place of seeking justification or absolution for past behaviors is not unique to Sprowl. It’s a common understanding that basically posits men are often unclear on whether or not they have perpetrated offenses against others in the past.

“There are some men who do feel like there is a witch hunt of sorts going on,” psychologist John D. Moore says, adding that many men aren’t totally sure whether or not they are witches. Still, Moore says that not all men who come to the defense of someone accused of sexual crimes are themselves guilty of anything. These sympathetic men may just be uneasy about having a more tenuous position in society — about being held accountable. For these men, seeing a preferred comedian or politician face charges represents a loss of power by association.

edwardianemerald · 2021-09-16T21:31:21+00:00

Like a compass needle always finds north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman -- Khaled Hosseini .

Opening up to men is almost always a terrible idea. Vet vet vet.

otroniveI · 2021-09-16T22:06:25+00:00

If only women gave each other the benefit of the doubt instead of always trying to play fair and hold each other aCcOunTabLe.

I had a pickmeisha tell me to “hAvE tHe sAmE eNerGy” recently about something a woman did when in reality, men NEVER have the same energy so why should we? We’re playing fair in an unfair world and wonder why we always get the short end of the stick.

If you want true equality; we also have to ask a man what he did to cause something when he tells us a woman did something wrong. At least we have a better reason since women cheat less, abuse less, divorce more often and are generally much better people so it must be his fault 😜.

arnezuara · 2021-09-16T22:03:11+00:00

Get your evidence, then a lawyer, and sue the bastard. Be smart, stay safe. Do not tell men about your traumas because they do not have the capacity for empathy.

RussianAsshole · 2021-09-17T01:25:31+00:00

Look at how many men came out in support of Kobe Bryant and Bill Cosby despite them being proven rapists. Women on Twitter got doxxed for calling Kobe a rapist. No wonder women are afraid to report…..

spicyspa · 2021-09-17T02:04:24+00:00

I don't share experiences women go through with men for this reason.

Hhjjuuy · 2021-09-17T07:54:47+00:00

It's like how the wealthy have such strong class solidarity. Oppression does not happen by random chance.

BasieSkanks · 2021-09-16T22:17:30+00:00

Men defend other men’s poor behaviour because they partake in the same behaviour. Thus they do not want to call it out because that would mean calling themselves out and seeing themselves for the piece of shit they are.

When I was into BDSM, it was so common to see male doms making excuses for a man who raped someone. “Oh, you didn’t communicate”. “Oh, you should have used the safe word.” “Oh, it wasn’t really assault because he didn’t mean it. Reporting him will ruin his life”. When you dug a little deeper, you would often see that these men perpetuated the same behaviours.

NotUrAverageBoo · 2021-09-16T22:02:42+00:00

And if he is on your side,….he’s waiting to get into your pants.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-09-17T07:54:09+00:00

"what did you expect?"

This is the question I often hear.

It's as if your expectations are to blame for.

And in a way they are. We expect men to behave decently when a large percentage prefer to behave anything like. Procreating with the larger percentage of LV is bound to encourage this trait in men. The only thing we can do is not procreate to encourage them to spread their seeds.

Determinedblonde · 2021-09-16T22:23:32+00:00

Reminds me of LVM who’s outed himself recently. Long story short, everyone rejected him, so when the women complain about guys who just want hookups, he says they deliberately seek out bad men. 😐

Knarfia · 2021-09-17T03:44:52+00:00

When my ex kicked my son in the balls and strangled me, I left and filed a restraining order. My own brother called him to "find out what really happened". Ex denied it and my brother said, "Yeah, I figured she was making it up.". I know this because my ex had recorded the call and tried to use it in court, saying even my brother knew I was a liar.

Ivory_McCoy · 2021-09-17T03:25:15+00:00

this reminds me of how much vitriol people have Johnny Depp's ex, when as far as I could tell, they were both pretty trashy drunks that got wasted and fought. I absolutely do NOT buy the idea of Depp being a battered husband. He openly admits to throwing things and acts like that's not an act of terror and abuse.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2021-09-16T23:40:14+00:00

Reading this post makes me extra grateful for my (male) friend who listened to me mumble about a date, looked aghast, and said, “That’s rape. You were raped!” And then he held my hand, told me it wasn’t my fault, and if I wanted, he’d help get a group together to “beat that motherf*cker.”

sleepysiri · 2021-09-17T08:10:49+00:00

That bit at the end could honestly be a poem, it resonates so well.

Get-in-the-llama · 2021-09-17T10:39:01+00:00

Ah, I see you’ve met the Australian government. Man very credibly accused of rape, women lost their jobs.

Competitive_Bar8657 · 2021-09-17T04:31:35+00:00

“How can you be pressured into sex? She consented then and now she’s screaming rape? Poor brotha stuck his dick in crazy. Life is so unfair to men 🤡 “

womenarealwaysbased · 2021-09-17T01:01:44+00:00

Males are sheeps

Remarkable-Ad-4758 · 2021-09-17T14:18:09+00:00

Not just from other Men. I have expierenced this in its worst form my woman (professionals) filled with internaised misogyny.

Title	"Men protecting other men" and why you should keep you standards sky high cause of it.
Author	Mcccy
Upvotes	736
Comments	51
Date	September 16, 2021 9:23 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ppmgbj/men_protecting_other_men_and_why_you_should_keep/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/men-protecting-other-men-and-why-you-should-keep.1076045 https://theredarchive.com/post/1076045

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