Hi! I'm late 20s. Had no problem dating in other cities in my early-mid 20s. Moved to current city (DC) which has one of the worst female:male ratios in my age. Around ~20% more women. I understand most men won't meet my standards anywhere but I've lived in DC for 3 years without meeting anyone I was impressed by. LV men ghost/cancel on me here when men have never done that to me before elsewhere.

I'm also anxious because I'm getting older (30 next yr). I know this sub is good about breaking down that anxiety, but since there's not that many GREAT men out there, doesn't it stand to reason that there will be even less when I'm older and more of them are married? Looking for advice!

Have you done this? How'd it go?

Context - late 20s, Asian-American, I'm an emotionally mature woman who's worked on herself, earns a lot, and has high standards.

What should I consider in the move in terms of dating? What apps should I use and where should I look? Obviously other non-dating factors are important too, but I already know those for myself.

City dating factors I'm already looking at:

  • male:female ratio
  • how diverse the city is (to weed out yellow fever/weird men with racial fetishes)

Edit please don't tell me to focus on myself first and the rest will come. I appreciate the advice and agree we should ALL be good to ourselves first, but I've already done this for as long as I can remember. I already have my dream job, financial independence, amazing friends and hobbies, improved family relationships, personal goals reached, volunteer regularly, strong self-esteem and treat myself well.

Update: First, are we allowed to name specific users who are sending mean PMs or is that doxxing? Lemme know, ladies. Second, to the men sending me mean hypotheses about why men must be rejecting me, here is how I've been responding. Use this as my default response going forward: Rejection is good. That's how people filter for the right relationship for them. So idk your point, but I understand you're trying to make me feel bad. People make each other feel bad accidentally all the time. Yet here you are trying to do more on purpose?? The men I date are kind and make people feel better on their spare time. Please continue staying away from me and other women.