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yellowFlowwer
[–]PengtingcalledmeFDS Newbie116 points117 points118 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you didnt feel like it was a compliment then it probably wasn't...
[–]KetoKittenAroundFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So right! If you have to ask then you know.
[–]royaldetourFDS Newbie50 points51 points52 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Its 100% a neg. Slicker than amateurish usual, with the plausible deniability but absolutely designed to put you in a position to seek his approval. The 'you pull it off though' is a qualifier. If it's not an outright lovely compliment, it's not a compliment ladies. I bet this chode is deep in the pua bullshit.
[–]ldnsurvivalFDS Newbie81 points82 points83 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Definite neg. Implying you would need to be confident (read crazy) to wear that dress and bag because who the fuck would. Dont let him off the hook.
[–]GRCAFDS Apprentice39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah, I don’t see how it’s a compliment just because it mentions “confidence.” He doesn’t say he likes her outfit, just that she must be confident to wear it. Which more likely means he thinks it’s ugly, but thinks it’s ok because she’s hot. Which sounds like a neg to me.
[–]ldnsurvivalFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Correct!
[–]LeavixFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He's criticizing you yet still trying to get in your pants as the same time. It's almost impressive if it wasn't so transparent and nauseating
[–]paperbagskirtFDS Apprentice31 points32 points33 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Is a bum bag a thing? Or is he just saying your bag looks like something a bum would carry? lol
[–]gracefullrose22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's a thing. I sometimes see them called "Fanny Packs" or "Belly Bags" it depends on where they are worn and what part of the world the person saying it is from.
[–]Pretend-ValuableFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A bum bag is what we would call a fanny pack in England. Though that doesn't quite make sense with his last question 🤷♀️ Guess it depends where OP is from!
[–]Mountain_Nectarine_6FDS Newbie48 points49 points50 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
it’s a neg. he’s criticizing your fashion choices. it’s like when people say “wow ashley graham is SO confident for walking the runway in lingerie” (because ashley graham is obese). get my drift? block and delete. he knows what he’s doing.
[–]Incredible_AlligatorFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's a neg. A compliment would be that dress and bag look great on you! You have great style! But here he's not actually saying that, just questioning your choices and "confidence".
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Total neg. "You must be pretty confident" implies that a woman having high confidence is somehow a problem for him. He's also sneakily implying that your outfit is somehow 'crazy' or 'out there', so you'd need delusional levels of confidence to wear it. The "you certainly pull it off though" smacks of 'you're not like other girls.' He's essentially 'approving' of you, like you need his permission to wear whatever the fuck you want.
Translation: Your outfit is awful but I deem you 'attractive' enough to get away with wearing it, unlike most other women.
Notice how he hastily backtracks and quickly changes the subject. He also seems to be very familiar with what a neg is. Most of the decent guys I know wouldn't have a clue, because a) it's not something they'd ever do, and b) they're not lurking around PUA forums to pick up the lingo.
[–]NurseBubbleGumFDS Apprentice18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Its a crappy compliment, a crapliment if you will.
[–]enchantedglowFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Neg. He could have just said you look great and leave it at that. As someone else said, if you have to ask, it’s probably not a compliment. Compliments are straight-forward and leave no room for doubt.
[–]nowheyroseFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Regardless, if you have to ask, it suggests he has low self-awareness and is sloppy. He should try to make a good first impression with his first message. And anyone who knows any woman at all knows about negging and other shitty OLD tactics lvm use, so they should know better than to cross into potential negging territory.
But for what it's worth this is a neg for sure.
[–]kalrhistaThrowaway Account2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
At the least, the fact that he didn’t ask what a neg is would be a red flag that he’s into PUA
[–]Summerisle7FDS STRATEGY COACH4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He's implying that you're too fat to wear the yellow dress. (doesn't even matter whether you're actually overweight or anything, he'd say it to any woman). Or otherwise trying to make you lose confidence. Total neg.
[–]marsupialfaceFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Such a neg, eww
[–]eucalyptusiscoolFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Please don’t give men the upper hand by allowing them to decide is it’s a compliment or a neg. don’t undermine your opinion, if you feel negged than it was a neg. that’s a textbook neg. if he wanted to compliment you , he would have said the dress and bag are lovely. And if you ask a man if it’s a neg, of course he won’t tell you it’s a neg, that blows up their game .
[–]posprovFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
A poorly-worded compliment
[–]Summerisle7FDS STRATEGY COACH4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
If he can't figure out how to word a proper compliment, he shouldn't try to give them.
[–]gracefullrose3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I read it as a compliment about your confidence and he made a nice comment about the location which also is a good sign that he is paying attention to your environment not just your body.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol totally a neg he tried to cover up
[+]throwaway23004345FDS Newbie-9 points-8 points-7 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I don’t see how it’s a neg? A bum bag is a fanny pack
[–]pineappleshampooPickmeisha™️8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He’s implying her fashion choice is bold or weird, hence saying she must have confidence to wear something like that. It also read as a way of knocking down her self esteem a touch cos she looks too great or seems too confidence.
Similar:
‘Wow most girls go for legs OR cleavage out, you really rock that look’
‘Not many girls can pull off a pixie cut, you must be bold’
‘You must have so much confidence to wear a bikini that tiny!’
And so forth.
[+]windowseat4lifeFDS Newbie-8 points-7 points-6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I see it as a compliment on your confidence. Bum bags aren't super popular (although they're getting more popular) & you're rocking it. A yellow dress would be a bold color to wear & not many people would have the confidence to wear something that's so bold & makes them stand out like that. And with his follow up response, it definitely seems like more of a compliment.
[–]Summerisle7FDS STRATEGY COACH5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
His follow up response is just him desperately trying to backtrack so the OP will keep talking to him.
The only real compliment is an unqualified one.
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[–]PengtingcalledmeFDS Newbie116 points117 points118 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]KetoKittenAroundFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]royaldetourFDS Newbie50 points51 points52 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ldnsurvivalFDS Newbie81 points82 points83 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]GRCAFDS Apprentice39 points40 points41 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ldnsurvivalFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LeavixFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]paperbagskirtFDS Apprentice31 points32 points33 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]gracefullrose22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pretend-ValuableFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mountain_Nectarine_6FDS Newbie48 points49 points50 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Incredible_AlligatorFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NurseBubbleGumFDS Apprentice18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]enchantedglowFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nowheyroseFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kalrhistaThrowaway Account2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Summerisle7FDS STRATEGY COACH4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]marsupialfaceFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]eucalyptusiscoolFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]posprovFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Summerisle7FDS STRATEGY COACH4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gracefullrose3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]throwaway23004345FDS Newbie-9 points-8 points-7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]pineappleshampooPickmeisha™️8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]windowseat4lifeFDS Newbie-8 points-7 points-6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Summerisle7FDS STRATEGY COACH5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link