Moral of the story is to never help plan a wedding for a pick-me.

My friend dated a guy for ten years and he finally asked her to marry him. I get the offer of being MOH which I was so excited for since I was truly happy for her. She gave him a timeline and threatened to leave him by the end of the year if he hadn’t proposed. Before him proposing, she was nervous he wouldn’t follow through.

After he proposed, she’s still having doubts about him. At this point red flags are popping in my head. I told her to think about this carefully if she could imagine living a life with him. She got mad at me and said I was jealous since my life wasn’t going anywhere… just recently got a new job at the time, but okay…

Around Christmas 2020, we met up for drinks with friends. One of my new guy friend (he’s lv, and first and last time we hung out) was interested in her but didn’t see her engagement ring. She flirted with him, and I had to tell him she’s engaged, so he backed off. She played dumb and didn’t know that they were both flirting and allowed him to continue. After the meet up, she ended up asking me what he did for work and liked that he was a trader. I saw them exchanged numbers for work purposes.

She wanted a destination wedding in the middle of Covid which was fine I was willing to do this since she was a long time friend. Anyways she made us put down a deposit which she said was refundable (it wasn’t).

First hurdle was with invitations. I found out she was doing this all alone, when she started asking me for advice. He only wanted to be present for the cake testing.

By this time she expected a deposit of $400 upfront. I stupidly paid and e-transferred her the money.

We also went to countless wedding boutiques as well. She finally found her dress which was way above her budget and her family had to pitch in. Right around this time l discovered that she’s demanding 90k from her parents for her wedding as well as the downpayment to her home as a gift.

I met her bridesmaid through dinner. One of them was jealous, got herself drunk and said that she always thought my friend would be last to get married. The other one was scared she might be pregnant from unprotected casual sex with a stranger she met on hinge. They also proposed to buy dresses from shein and buy designer knock offs on Ali express (if that had happened, I was prepared to buy the real thing) since they only wanted to spend below $100. $20 was what they were aiming for.

I found out her fiancée is an antivaxxer and never has had any vaccines let alone Covid doses. Her fiancée threatened to break up with her if she got the second dose. She ended up doing it in secret. Since her mom threatened to cancel the wedding.

Fast forward to January, her mom pulls the plug on her destination wedding, due to the new variant and that she refuses to get the third dose. I asked in what form would should I expect to get my deposit back and she said that it’s non refundable, so she lied. She then proceeds to tell me that each guest has to pay $250 to attend. I just lost $400, and now I have to lose more money. By this time, there was no venue or set date. At this point I think she wanted a free wedding.

The next few weeks were chaotic. She’s showing me more pictures of wedding dresses when her mom already bought her one. She had second thoughts. The weirdest suggestion was when she wanted to buy these $3 lace sleeves to wear with her $5000 dress. She’s showed me more wedding dresses, and it got ridiculous. She started buying wedding decorations that were on sale or either from the dollar store with NO intent or plan as to how she was going to use it. During this time she used any excuse to buy things in the name of her wedding.

A few days ago, I get a text from her asking me to pick a colour for my bridesmaids dress. So here’s the kicker, her bridesmaids don’t like me. She went dress picking with them a few months ago and I was not invited. That was the only thing I wanted to do. I didn’t want to pick her wedding invitations, choose venues, help her get her husband’s photoshoot outfit/suit, and help her assemble the stupid centre pieces. These are the things she should be doing with her partner. I am fucking upset that she didn’t invite me to pick out the bridesmaid dress. It goes to show how much our friendship is worth.

I’m not going to her wedding. If she sends me a second wedding invitation, I’ll send her a wedding gift.

She called me a bitch for backing out. Here’s the thing I’ve already wasted my time energy and money to have her treat me as a slave and single me out. I’m the only friend that is left from our friend group that still talks to her. The other two bridesmaids are her partner’s friend and sister.

I’m done I’ve had enough.

TLDR: Moral of the story is to never be part of a pick-me wedding. Depending on where their loyalties lie, you’ll be treated as a second class citizen.

Edit: I’d like to apologize for my crude grammar. I’m still fixing some of the parts.