Struggling to see value in myself because although I'm fairly attractive (or so I'm told) literally every guy I come across just wants to sleep with me and it's emotionally exhausting.

sassyheather · 2021-03-30T16:25:35+00:00

Don’t build your value based on guys. They all want to sleep with you? Doesn’t mean anything about your value. They all want to marry you and treat you like a queen? Doesn’t mean anything about your value. You are you and have your own value from within, which is approximately 0% dependent on men.

numbers213 · 2021-03-30T16:22:42+00:00

What are some things you love about yourself that aren't physical?

Worldly_Sell · 2021-03-30T16:27:36+00:00

Nah, there’s nothing wrong with you, most women experience this. The problem is men not seeing value in women besides sex and servitude. They believe they are superior simply because they have a penis 🤦🏽‍♀️

all_or_nothing_bet · 2021-03-30T19:31:56+00:00

You know what I have noticed? Those guys who are seriously interested in dating you will never, ever make any sexual advances or even innuendo until there's a strong bond and a clear mutual desire to move forward physically.

Sometimes I'd even make a suggestive joke or a hint to see if they would steer the conversation towards sex. Those who were serious would either change the subject or pretend they didn't get it.

They would not risk their chances, they know how to be decent when their goal is to court and build something meaningful.

Twolipz_78 · 2021-03-30T17:10:34+00:00

You are most definitely not alone at all I feel the exact same way. It’s one thing when you try your best to be a beautiful, loving, thoughtful partner in any way you can think of and you still get shit all over and disrespected by some scrote just for trying to lovethem and see the good in them but it’s extremely disheartening when it just keeps on happening, especially with one you seriously had hope for.

It fucking sucks and I know for me personally, as a former-pick me-in-the-process-of-leveling-up, I am just staying single (can’t remember the last time I was..before 10?) and working on my own shit mentally, physically, spiritually and financially.

This helps me to have better discernment and see through the BS, lies and manipulation more clearly rather than through a rose-colored lens of desperation and loneliness. Ngl, I have moments throughout most days where this still rips my asshole and I want nothing more than for all of this to end but it passes eventually and I vow to never, ever ,ever allow myself or any loved ones go through any of this fuckery if I can help it!

electroloop · 2021-03-30T16:24:10+00:00

Because evolution forgot to progress male brain growth and improve the trajectories of their existence.

Instead, all their “thinking power” went to their sacred penises.

Pasdepromesses · 2021-03-30T17:35:29+00:00

Take a break from dating and start having healthy boundaries with family and friends.

I haven’t been dating in almost 18 months now, and the way I valued myself changed a lot. Even though I thought I already grew in this area before.

I have more room for hobbies, family and friends and I see my inherent value instead of ‘being someone’s girlfriend/fiancée’.

It feels good, peaceful and less lonely.

applestorm · 2021-03-30T18:43:17+00:00

You need to understand that them only wanting to sleep with you is not about YOU but about THEM. They're low value men who overestimate themselves to the point that they think they're worthy enough to use you for sex.

Never internalize men's low value behaviors.

djfrankenjuice · 2021-03-30T17:40:00+00:00

SAME.

Come to the dark side (FDS). Free yourself from the internalized misogyny and the quest for male validation.

LR_today · 2021-03-30T16:25:43+00:00

SAME.

But it's not you, it's that the overwhelming majority of men are disgusting pigs that only want sex. They've got society to back them up on encouraging women to see causal sex as the norm so men don't have do anything but chase sex.

janeaustenfan99 · 2021-03-30T19:26:58+00:00

No, it’s not you my male therapist told me that most men are sexually motivated. 99% of men who meet you will only want sex, just use FDS til you find the ones who are genuinely interested and show it through consistent action (and financial investment but that’s another story).

Imaginary-Driver-767 · 2021-03-30T17:36:29+00:00

Value comes from within. If YOU think you deserve nothing but the best YOU will not settle. It took me 30 some years to realize that we need to put value in ourselves and not be shaken by outside critics. Despite brains or beauty or degrees the low self esteem sets you up for failures and compromises. Live your life with the confidence of a middle aged white man. And drop the guys who treat you less than because the world is full of average and below average men and it’s on you to screen them out.

awkchihuahua · 2021-03-30T23:13:09+00:00

Babe, don't worry about it. Men will literally sleep with almost any woman walking this earth. As the saying goes "women sleep with who they want, men sleep with who they can".

I went though a similar thing when I became single last year. Every guy I'd talk to would try to sleep with me or bring up sexual topics before meeting. It's nothing to do with you. You're special, you are wonderful outside of your sex appeal. It's them, trust me.

Most men can't recognize a real woman standing in front of them, let alone know how to begin treating one. Our culture has taught men that it's ok to use women as sexual objects, and they simply don't care to go beneath the surface to see your wonderful, unique qualities.

As all the amazing women say here, block and delete. The minute they start pushing your boundaries, BLOCK AND DELETE. Don't let them affect you. Embrace your beautiful self. Stand in the mirror naked and really SEE YOURSELF. Put your feelings into words on paper, if you can. Scream into a pillow when you're angry. Get in touch with your body and femininity by moving it, taking care of it, nourishing it.

Fuck the rest, keep it moving and don't let trash men take up space in your brain. Just keep it moving, babe. Love you.

euridicee · 2021-03-30T20:08:29+00:00

Same. Its so depressing. I have an Instagram model type of look to my page/myself and men are disgusting with their comments and requests. I was even stalked by 2 men.

-Rant- A couple of them, the decent ones, I answered and then they started the breadcrumbing. Literally wtf. You think I, should give you, 28 with a dad bod, my time? And, of course, when I blocked, they came back crawling and begging. I honestly don't understand why I attract these males.

NotSoBunny · 2021-03-31T11:41:39+00:00

You're worth is not based on their worth or desires.

Make it a mantra

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