This Instagram post give some very good insight, there’s more to the post I don’t know how to post multiple pictures in one post

runrunrunawayyyyyyyy · 2020-03-14T14:37:51+00:00

"maybe he's not mature enough to have an adult conversation, maybe I should break up with him"

PrincessTiaraLove · 2020-03-14T14:45:31+00:00

Post 2 And that’s exactly why they went silent. So YOU can reflect and overthink it. Which is their purpose for it. A part of the silent treatment is they know they were wrong because you’re checking him.

Post 3 So the way the mind works if you’re in silence and they’re not apologizing or owning what they did. Then you’ll start to over analyze the situation and think you were wrong. Now you may say to yourself “next time to avoid this, I’m not going to say anything.” Allowing the behavior!!

Post 4

What you continue to accept is what you tolerate. When you say “I’m not going to say anything, I’m let the next time fly.” And when you do that you let insecurities grow. When you truly love yourself. YOU should find comfort in silence. Also find peace that you addressed it.

Post 5

How do you respond to it vs react? The next time he calls or texts you address it again! Because he thinks silent treatment taught you a lesson. You gotta let him know there’s no breaks in a relationship and you can’t go silent to prove a point. That on/off stuff isn’t cool.

Post 6

Checking him 2x let’s him know that ain’t nothing sliding past you. A real one will respect that because that makes him better. Stop accepting what you know you shouldn’t accept. They’ll never respect you if they can enter your life no matter how many times they exit your life.

(I would just block and delete him at this point. I don’t have time for games, but this is the post 🤷🏾‍♀️)

sistergnarly · 2020-03-14T17:23:42+00:00

The silent treatment is a tactic of narcissistic men and abusive men. It's a weak ass power move designed to keep you feeling unsteady and insecure. If you already have some feelings of insecurity in you, especially around your sense of worthiness, it works like a charm.

The antidote to this shit is to develop your sense of worth separate from having a man. Look up Relationship Contingent Self Esteem. It's a thing!

And forget a man's words. How is his behavior making you feel? Confused, used, frustrated, lonely, panicky, frantic, unsteady? He might be a narcissist. The right one will go to the ends of the earth to ensure you feel appreciated, safe, comfortable, and loved.

RobotAmerican · 2020-03-14T16:42:15+00:00

I learned to ignore this early on, because it's what family did too, lol. If I did anything even a little weird it'd be stony silence and cold shoulder for a while, or sometimes they'd point out the obvious "you made a mistake" first. Trained me to not give a damn when people are silent, because I realized early on that it's irrational, antisocial, and teaches nothing but walking on eggshells, and you can't get anything done that way. When bros are silent, I ignore them entirely and go on, instead of playing along by asking what's wrong, etc. They can tell me like a human being if there's a problem, otherwise I charitably assume they have stuff on their mind and don't want to be bothered. 😎

greensciencegeek · 2020-03-14T15:50:08+00:00

Independence renders the silence treatment ineffective. You don't wanna talk? I'll do my own thing then. When I'm angry, I walk away (I think dudes would appreciate this). And it's not a manipulation tactic, it's my personality. I walk away, cool off, take time to formulate my thoughts logically, and I'm usually apologized to! It's a good practice ladies, no one can say you are behaving irrational and people in general don't like to be ignored.

But use this power correctly and wisely, if you think about it and realize you should apologize, do so. Not only is it right, but if you don't, it can be seen as manipulation, and people may wise up to it.

Edit: post was unfinished before I submitted it

7_0f_9 · 2020-03-14T15:23:08+00:00

absolutely. its a manipulation tactic and its part of breadcrumbing.

anoukdaae · 2020-03-14T18:13:56+00:00

Maybe I overreacted.
Maybe I should have left it alone
Maybe it's me

Maybe I'm not a fucking dog.
Maybe if you feel you need to "train" me, you're not the guy for me.
Maybe you should go fuck yourself in the ass with a flaming cactus.

Maybe it's Maybelline.

HoneyNJ2000 · 2020-03-14T15:49:16+00:00

Does he "neg" too? Is that also part of the lessons he learned in his PUA classes?

Douche nozzle.

ohnobobbins · 2020-03-14T18:15:09+00:00

I was given the silent treatment for 2 weeks by my boyfriend - we had been together 3 months and were already living together. He consistently refused to tell me what I had done wrong. I even got the ‘if you don’t know what you’ve done, then I’m certainly not telling you’ classic phrase.

After I cried and begged him to tell what was wrong he finally told me a colloquial expression I used when he left the front door open ‘implied I was criticising his dead mother’.

I married him 4 months later.

We divorced after a ludicrously unhappy 8 year marriage. 2 years of therapy and I am still recovering.

RUN AWAY from silent treatment givers, they are abusive.

Alybank · 2020-03-14T20:30:39+00:00

It’s called STONEWALLING and it’s one of the 4 horsemen of the Apocalypse. Leave immediately.

2020-03-14T16:05:46+00:00

this is really how they do it. this is how they groom you

anonymous_monkey2 · 2020-03-14T23:25:34+00:00

Mind blown. My ex used to always do this. Yet whenever I needed space he wouldn’t respect me back.

balladwilds · 2020-03-14T16:37:15+00:00

yeah tbh if he gives the silence treatment, just break up. is he 10

myousername · 2020-03-14T19:24:30+00:00

internally screaming

My ex would do this All. The. Time.

He would constantly pick fights with me over every little thing, and if I challenged him or argued in any way, he would give me the silent treatment and act all cold, distant, sulky. At the time I referred to it as "emotional punishment" and as soon as I noticed this was a pattern, I called him out on it every time. Then he would get angry and say "I don't like that phrase. I hate that you're jUdGiNg mE."

I didn't know what DARVO was at the time, but I'm glad I do now. If a guy ever tries that shit with me again, I'm just going to ghost him, block and delete. There isn't even any point verbally breaking up with someone like that, because whenever I tried breaking up with him, he would ALWAYS manipulate me into staying.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-03-14T23:05:19+00:00

I meet the silent treatment with the silent treatment. If he wanted to talk to or see me again, he had to come around and apologize. Usually I consider men that do this, immediate exes, but I let the last guy do whatever because I wasn't that emotionally involved. He'd eventually come around whining "why do I always have to be the one to come and grovel to you? If I never reached out then I'd never hear from you again". And he was right and my answer was always "I treat people the way they treat me. I don't apologize when I've done nothing wrong". I'll never be in the situation to let that shit slide again. I'm back to the silent treatment meaning the relationship is automatically over. No take backs.

writerwrotewritten · 2020-03-14T18:40:29+00:00

Had an ex who did this just to be a manipulative dick. I'm the independent type, however, so I'd go on & do my own thing, which really pissed him off every time. It was hysterical. Alleged adult seriously upset that another adult wasn't groveling. Smfh

They're not the only reason for our breakup, but these instances of attempted manipulation were definitely a factor.

dalia-chan · 2020-03-14T20:31:57+00:00

My ex once blocked me, but I didn’t noticed till he unblocked me again and sent me a message where he said that he blocked me for 2 months. 😂

Novemberinthechair · 2020-03-14T22:50:54+00:00

Yeah. They could never win that game with me. The silent treatment? Ok, mothetfucker, let's play. If we got here, I'm probably tired of talking to you to begin with. Also, I'm introverted and don't get energized by talking and socializing. You think you're teaching me a lesson? Lol! I could go radio silence for weeks on end.

2020-03-14T21:06:56+00:00

The silent treatment is from my experience: - 1)A very immature reaction from someone who doesn't want to address an issue but instead wants to "punish" you (ie man child who acts like he's still 10yo) - 2) A coward move from someone who is scared of confrontation and would rather run away for a while, then come back and act like nothing happened, hoping you've cooled off - 3) A move from someone who truly is indifferent to you and doesn't care about your feelings, and just lives his life peacefully even if he knows he hurt you

In any case, it's a d*ck move. My ex used to do it at the beginning of the relationship out of pride, then he understood how stupid this was and never did it again. He truly became a HVM over time, so I got used to it. Then I dated a LVM and I knew he was kinda childish sometimes, but hadn't realized how immature he was at first. And surprise surprise every time we had the tiniest argument, he'd do the silent treatment and come back after a while asking "are you upset?". If I said no, he'd talk to me again like nothing happened. If I said yes, he'd just keep doing the silent treatment. I was amazed at how coward he was. How can a grown ass man still do this kind of shit? It goes without saying I dumped his ass.

2020-03-14T19:47:26+00:00

This is so helpful. Thank you for posting this.

Bennettist · 2020-03-14T16:43:45+00:00

Yep. What sucks is although I have deprogrammed myself for the most part, the silent treatment still gets me for a few minutes. I have to find myself now t to respond quickly to my feelings.

Title	This Instagram post give some very good insight, there’s more to the post I don’t know how to post multiple pictures in one post
Author	PrincessTiaraLove
Upvotes	782
Comments	71
Date	March 14, 2020 2:21 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fij2l5/this_instagram_post_give_some_very_good_insight/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/this-instagram-post-give-some-very-good-insight.680220 https://theredarchive.com/post/680220

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