This post boiled my blood. Don’t EVER shrink your success for a man!! Especially for a man with no job!!!

paperbagskirt · 2020-07-30T12:53:40+00:00

“Stop breaking yourself down into bite-sized pieces. Stay whole and let them choke.”

PinkberryCupcake · 2020-07-30T13:30:15+00:00

Why is she's dating unemployed bums in the first place?

Pahapan · 2020-07-30T14:58:01+00:00

A minimalist lifestyle is a thing. I watch a woman on YouTube who's an extreme minimalist, she only owns like 12 things and her camera and laptop are 2 of them. She avoids buying/using anything that isn't biodegradable and I believe she also works minimal hours because she'd rather spend her time doing stuff like sustenance gardening, and her apartment is tiny to reflect that. Very little money coming in but also very little money going out. Her carbon footprint is more like a pinky toe.

If a man is serious about living a "simple life", he should remove himself from the general dating pool and only date women on the same wavelength as him. But I suspect most men who claim they don't have jobs while they mooch of their parents/girlfriends/wives aren't as serious about living a simple life as they are about living a freeloading life.

oldncranky1982 · 2020-07-30T12:59:13+00:00

OMG no, they will always hold your status over you and use it to attack you. This happens to me frequently regarding my intelligence. Men will say things like "You could talk circles around me", or "You are so much smarter than me, it scares me". My reply is always to say "It sucks to be stupid". These men don't repay you with loyalty for shrinking yourself, they just hurt you.

LaBaronessa · 2020-07-30T14:18:04+00:00

When I had very low self esteem I constantly dated under (Post-Divorce) because I was afraid they'd be too successful and leave. Even when I became very well off for myself, put together, etc.

I took a few years off and I now see why this is so infuriating. Never make yourself smaller because his feefees are hurt. It's not up to us to build him up ever, especially at that age. If he doesn't have his shit remotely together at 35+ he never will.

Alma00019 · 2020-07-30T15:24:51+00:00

I don't feel anything about them because I don't think about them at all.

Why are so many women obsessing over literal bums?

daisy_0720 · 2020-07-30T13:28:44+00:00

Ah yes, the classic LVM "I'm not actually worthless, here's reasons x, y and z why I'm CHOOSING to have no job/live in a car/not go to college/be $20,000 in debt etc."

My friend's boyfriend is a classic one of these. They don't fly abroad on nice holidays because he's unemployed and they have no money, but he claims "flYinG oN plAneS iS bAd For tHe eNviRonmeNt" while simultaneously consuming more plastic than anyone I've ever met.

powerline2500 · 2020-07-30T12:49:21+00:00

Theyre not your level. And your not theirs. So no need to fit into their life when they simply dont match. Nothing wrong with a man earnig a low salary if hes truly happy with it, and lives within his means and will happily sacrifice the things larger salaries and longer hours afford.

The problem is that men are not laid back about how much money they earn. Many unsatisfied with it. So it turn they will resent any man or woman (especially a woman) who out earn them.

And if you cant find a man, Im pretty sure youre money will keep you nice a warm at night. 🤷‍♀️

reina_nova · 2020-07-30T16:33:32+00:00

Men with no ambition make my blood boil, no joke. I know a man who is nearly 50 years old... he has no savings, no health insurance, lives with his mom, never got married, never had children, and drives his grandmother's old car. Apparently, he has had 30ish jobs in his life. He only has an associate's degree, and he never completed his bachelor's because he thought his professors were "trying to tell him how to think," which is such a BS excuse in my opinion.

mostdefinitelynturs · 2020-07-30T17:05:51+00:00

I stopped reading at 36 y.o. man. If he hasn't learned to manage life by now, HES A FUCKING LOSER!!!

PicklesNBacon · 2020-07-30T19:25:45+00:00

[deleted]

sunset74420 · 2020-07-30T17:48:57+00:00

What do I feel about men like this? I don't.

There are maybe about 3-4 people right now that I talk to with any regularity because the rest of them don't seem to want to do anything to improve their station in life. It really sucks if they don't feel good about themselves, but that is not for me to fix. I have worked and am working hard on myself and if they don't want to do the same for themselves? Fuck 'em. Maybe when the pain of the consequences of their own actions/inactions exceeds the benefits, they will finally do something. That is 100% on them.

honeybeeroll · 2020-07-30T19:44:49+00:00

"36 year old men who don't have a job and haven't been very interested in getting one" so deadbeats?

Ladies idc if you're 26, 36, or 46, could you imagine bringing a "man" like that home to your parents.....he wouldn't even get in the front door lol

Again, I know society sets women up for failure from day 1 in that were trained to cut men way too much slack and put their needs over ours, but societal conditioning isn't an excuse for everything, there comes a point where youre responsible for your own actions, such as choosing to date bums!!

howdoilogoutt · 2020-07-30T15:07:59+00:00

Pfffffffft I have no words.

PicklesNBacon · 2020-07-30T18:36:51+00:00

[deleted]

CounterCharacter7663 · 2020-07-30T20:30:05+00:00

The problem is, even in a major metropolitan city, very few men put effort in themselves or their careers.

Like I met a Math Professor that makes peanuts, lives next to the University and rides his bike every where. My world is larger than a 3 mile radius.

Another guy 36 years old making minimum wage in IT. I mentioned hey maybe get a few more certs. "That means I have to go back to school and take out loans." (I took the GMAT and was accepted to my prized MBA program less that a year later.)

So many men never pick up a book past their last year of school and that is the saddest thing to me.

Have a house? Great so do I. Have a job? I have a career and a trajectory. Have a hobby? My hobbies actively better my mind body and whom ever I partner with. (Garden, cook from scratch, home repair.)

I take myself on better dates. After classes I'll travel only to the places I want. I have my home with the garden. I just can't see what a guy could ever offer me.

ImPiqued1111111 · 2020-07-30T21:13:12+00:00

I was recently talking to a man on OLD and the conversation was going quite well. He had mentioned he was just about to move to my city, which was fine. I asked him which neighborhood he was moving to and he was kind of vague, like he wasn't sure yet. Then he revealed that he had been living a vagabond lifestyle and living out of his vehicle.

Cue record scratch. Like, ok, fine, some people are into the nomad thing, you do you. But, like, that's a no for me dawg. He mentioned it was possible for him because his job as a recruiter allowed for this.

I had already written him off but figured I'd just close out the convo politely. At which point he said that his next step was to become a music professor. I thought, oh, hmm, well that's pretty ok. I could be into that. But, I decided to test him on this and asked how that was going. Because I had a gut feeling he was going to tell me he needed to go back to school to become qualified for such a position, in which case I was going to be entirely annoyed and cut this shit short.

Lo and behold, he said, "I need to take some classes..."

Bro. I want somebody who is settled in their career and financially stable. Like, good luck with your endeavors but I'm getting too old for this boy who is finding himself crap. You're 42. Buzz off.

redpeithos · 2020-07-30T15:07:57+00:00

Look, if there are two people, one who is mean, unemployed and unwilling to educate himself, and another who is a respectful and respectable finance professor (who takes good care of himself and of others), who do you choose?

You choose the person who makes you happier. If neither of them make you happy, then choose neither. What is so hard to understand about this?

FodderFigureIllushun · 2020-07-30T22:51:53+00:00

If he doesn't want to make money or get a job, that's his choice. There's no changing him.

If you want to level up and marry a man who is ambitious and takes care of you, do not change your standards. Just keep looking for the right man and ignore the wrong ones.

sexxxybae · 2020-07-30T22:16:08+00:00

sounds like one of these mgtow guys who say that men don't need a lot to live on, men are simple and don't need comforts that women like. They make a lot of money to spend it on what the woman wants, so when they decide on this other lifestyle they're basically saying they make enough for them and only them, and they have a right to, but it's selfish if they also want to date or want a woman in their life. They are not entitled to women, women cost money. so he can live simply and alone, or try to make some more in order to date women. he sounds bitter if he is making digs though

Title	This post boiled my blood. Don’t EVER shrink your success for a man!! Especially for a man with no job!!!
Author	PicklesNBacon
Upvotes	211
Comments	51
Date	July 30, 2020 12:43 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i0le0g/this_post_boiled_my_blood_dont_ever_shrink_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/this-post-boiled-my-blood-dont-ever-shrink-your.719167 https://theredarchive.com/post/719167

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