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WatermelonSugar47
[–]getbentgentFDS Newbie199 points200 points201 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Not only that but in my pickme days I tried to be cool with guys and give them jabs and joke with them like they would with each other. Well, they called me a bitch and said I was putting them down. Like, I can't even joke around without being called a bitch? 🤡🤡
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple99 points100 points101 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
YOu cAN’t TAkE a JOKe! 😢
[–]Geocities_SEO_ExpertFDS STRATEGY COACH91 points92 points93 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's completely pointless to accept bad behavior, because the ones who act like clueless shits have zero intention of sticking around. Don't make sacrifices for romantic relationships in general, but especially not ones that have zero chance of lasting.
[–]yolosunshineFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
🎖
[–]matte_personalityFDS Newbie63 points64 points65 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
You know I used to think that just because I have a lot of love to give, I should only expect a little back because just a little would be enough and maybe people don’t love like I do. All it does over time is chip away at everything and you end up with a bigger void there than when you started because you should expect the same amount back. If not more. People have to match your energy without you having to say much.
[–][deleted] 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I used to be the same way. Now I am the queen of reciprocity land!
[–]wrice05FDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
GIRL I feel you
[–]cremebruleecakesFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Take this poor merchant's gold, maam 🏅⛏️
[–]Efficient-End-6273FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
YESSSS THIS
[–]CountingDownTheDays5FDS Apprentice148 points149 points150 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Men are demeaned for allowing their girlfriends to have a say in the relationship. Women are praised for allowing men to do whatever, whenever, however. We have to let that set in.
[–]yggiwtmiihFDS Newbie28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oof. That's the first time I've read this and it makes so much sense.
🏅 🎖
[–]munissaFDS Newbie51 points52 points53 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup. To this day my exes probably still think I’m crazy for refusing to be disrespected and “acting out” when I felt like I was. Looking back though, I really was crazy for staying in those relationships and crying over them.
[–]bearded_dragonladyFDS STRATEGY COACH47 points48 points49 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Agreed, also don't verbally demand a guy treat you with respect. Just withdraw your attention and energy from people who don't treat you correctly.
[–]harrohamtaroFDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Amen to this. It took me years to understand I didn’t have to continually ‘demand’ for decent treatment and respect, and have the NVM say I’m naggy or stressing him out which makes me feel even worse.
Now I just walk away and conserve my time and energy. Such people are not worth the drama, even if they swear to change.
[–]oddcharmFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I have been effectively leaving the same comment around FDS for a minute now but this is so important! Let people act as they please, you cannot control them. What you control is how you respond. If people want to be disrespectful towards you, then LEAVE. No more trying to get people to change (which realistically works temporarily, if at all!)
Accept people for who they are!
[–]harrohamtaroFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, when I was younger I would hang around hoping they would change. But age made me not so naive. Better alone and peaceful than attached and miserable and begging like a pauper for crumbs.
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Apprentice4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
The worst people will lie to your face about promising to change, too.
[–]thowawaywookieFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes. Talking with a man does nothing. Adults know know to be respectful to others. They don't need reminded or trained. Vote with your feet right out of there!
[–]solaris-et-lunara22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I used to be like this, until I realized that no, I wasn’t really happy pretending to be the cool girl who was starstruck that a boy even paid her attention. So many doors have been opened to me now and I have a man who is willing to give me everything I could ever want in a partner.
[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
My daughter is 16 and has several friends who are displaying this behavior. Most of their boyfriends are emotional wrecks, threaten suicide, and manipulate them in different ways. The girls complain to my daughter yet continue to accept this behavior, sometimes for years. Who is teaching the boys these days? Are men going to blame women for this, too? These are boys having sex and they still put a huge burden on their girlfriends, so lack of access to sex is not a valid excuse for male emotional disturbance. It’s not as if girls don’t get depressed too, but so many of them are busy taking care of depressed boys that their own mental health falls by the wayside. We have serious problems going on in these younger generations. A lot of codependency already going on. It’s very heartbreaking. My daughter wants nothing to do with boys after witnessing what her friends go through. She just does her own thing and finds contentment in her own hobbies. I’m very happy about that believe me. I don’t know what I’d do if she felt forced to mollycoddle a boy who used her as an emotional tampon. It sounds so exhausting at any age but especially for a child.
[–]EmergencyShitFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I feel like cell phones and SM are a big factor in the codependency amongst the younger generation.
There were plenty of unhealthy relationships amongst peers when I was in high school (I’m 37yo), but we simply didn’t have constant and immediate access to others like kids do nowadays.
[–]TugalloisFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And it repeats in their relationships... My ex told me some of the things I expected from him were unreasonable. I repeatedly explained to him what I needed from him and why, but it was "impossible" and I should be ignored. I almost believed him.
My next boyfriend gave me those exact things without being asked or prompted.
[–]-badmadAMFDS Apprentice21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Before they put you into the situation to "be a nagging ***" just leave. If he doesn't do "communication" he gets none, only a "bye" if he is lucky. Problem solved.
[–]keyboardmarilu1117 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
!!!! YES
[–]Surprise-TurbulentFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Honestly don’t nag though
Too much energy
Just leave
[–]miphasgracefulFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My ex used to be called “pussy whipped” by his brother anytime my ex went along with any of my choices. As if compromise was a bad thing in a relationship.
[–]DigitalFriendForLyfeFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE GIRLS IN THE BACK
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]getbentgentFDS Newbie199 points200 points201 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple99 points100 points101 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Geocities_SEO_ExpertFDS STRATEGY COACH91 points92 points93 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]yolosunshineFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]matte_personalityFDS Newbie63 points64 points65 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 23 points24 points25 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]wrice05FDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cremebruleecakesFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Efficient-End-6273FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CountingDownTheDays5FDS Apprentice148 points149 points150 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]yggiwtmiihFDS Newbie28 points29 points30 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]yolosunshineFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]munissaFDS Newbie51 points52 points53 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bearded_dragonladyFDS STRATEGY COACH47 points48 points49 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]harrohamtaroFDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]oddcharmFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]harrohamtaroFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Apprentice4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thowawaywookieFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]solaris-et-lunara22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH13 points14 points15 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]EmergencyShitFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TugalloisFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]-badmadAMFDS Apprentice21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]keyboardmarilu1117 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Surprise-TurbulentFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]miphasgracefulFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DigitalFriendForLyfeFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
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