This was on an askmen thread about former players explaining why they finally decided to settle down. Guys... we are not responsible for “filling your void”. Fill it on your own first and stop making us do your emotional labor. Using women for sex as a way to fill it is not appropriate

VioletRomantic · 2020-07-15T17:50:40+00:00

What fucking void do these men have? Yall dont have a void inside of you, you're bored and unfulfilled in your lives because you refuse to do anything meaningful. Maybe pick up a productive hobby and make something instead of sitting on your ass pretending to kill people or jerking off all day. Fucking work on yourself.

DunRuther · 2020-07-15T18:07:20+00:00

I’ve frequently heard that when men like that are “ready to settle down”, it’s frequently with whatever Pickme is within arm’s reach at the time.
Because they just want to “settle down”, which means either 1) they give in to parental/societal pressure to get married or 2) they no longer can “pull 9s and 10s” like they used to and they just want to guarantee steady, free sex

(I threw up in my mouth a bit when I typed “pull 9s and 10s” 🤢)

jeanneeebeanneee · 2020-07-15T18:09:51+00:00

"The void inside" - dude you ARE a void. A burning, bottomless, insatiable pit of want and need.

2020-07-15T18:12:14+00:00

Anytime I read stories on Reddit from males about how they found the right women

Instead of it being sweet, 90% of the time I wanna vomit because it’s some version of “she puts up with my shit personality and life.”

ihavenoideadwhatimdo · 2020-07-15T17:49:18+00:00

my lobster? boy, bye

LaBaronessa · 2020-07-15T17:33:18+00:00

"She was the first one to actually show me that she's invested so I stayed for the consistency".

Summerisle7 · 2020-07-15T17:25:56+00:00

My favorite part: "I realized it wasn't the physical relationship aspects I really wanted"

Translation: He finally settled for a girl he's not even attracted to and will likely inflict a dead bedroom on.

applestorm · 2020-07-15T19:31:58+00:00

This is textbook narcissist talk. The whole thing about wanting to 'fill the void' by seeking love and attention is legit what narcissists do.

DunRuther · 2020-07-15T19:37:48+00:00

Wow, I spent a few minutes reading through that post...lots of answers that make me 🤦🏼‍♀️

The most egregious one I read: The guy described in elaborate detail the Dreamgirl he had who he kept cheating on and how wonderful she was. He said she made him change his ways, and he ended up marrying “the next one” (his exact words). Clearly thinks of his wife as a second place prize, he didn’t say anything about her except that his wife knows the story about his ex and how she made him change. Goes on to continue to describe in elaborate detail how he’s so happy for his ex because she married a rich guy. Didn’t say a single positive thing about his wife.

This goes to show why:

1) We shouldn’t be Barb the Builder because he’s just going to take what you taught him and use it on someone else

2) We shouldn’t get with a man that talks in detail about his ex, it means he’s clearly not over her.

howdoilogoutt · 2020-07-15T22:47:01+00:00

"I still cheat on her now and then. But she sticks around, now that's a real woman." - Probably

swatir24 · 2020-07-16T03:11:11+00:00

He sounds like a narcissist. They don't love women for who they are but for what they can get out of them.

She's my lobster because she puts up with my shit, she's convenient, she doesn't complain, she makes me look good in front of family and friends and she gives me validation.

And he's going to cheat on her real soon, if he isn't already.

kaoutanu · 2020-07-16T00:35:25+00:00

Extrapolating a bit here but it sounds like he finally found a momwife rather than an equal partner 🤢

discretevalor · 2020-07-15T21:57:40+00:00

This thread just proves that men will commit for someone they think is worth committing for. If any of y’all are dating someone who won’t give you the time of day, he doesn’t see a future with you.

thaiteabbys · 2020-07-15T22:21:55+00:00

We need to stop going to the “build a man” store. No. They need to do it on their own. Change can only come from within and from themselves. I’ve come across so many LVM and the one thing almost all of them had in common was low self esteem , confidence, their happiness was dependent on other people (girls) etc.

I remember I used to talk to this guy and I had this “thing” with him (back in my pick me days, I’m still recovering). He told me about his past relationships , he was cheated on multiple of times , this one time when a girl broke up with him , she kissed him and they went to a dance even though they had broken up. I didn’t know why I had even agree to this “thing”. I don’t know it was some weird long distance “thing”. I was so dumb. Ugh. During it I couldn’t talk to any of my guy friends (I only had two) , my guy friend didn’t like him. I soon realized after about a couple of weeks enduring all of it , he needed to work on himself and resolve some things with himself. And so did I. I told him that and he went as far to find my Facebook (which I didn’t even give out). Blocked him on everything and will keep him blocked. I recently checked my blocked page and he changed his profile picture with his new gf. Good for him. I don’t know if he’s changed but I don’t care. Not my life. Probably shouldn’t have wrote a super long paragraph to him though. I also remember his best friend told him I was cute , he agreed or thought. But the thing is they both smoke weed (I know I know, I even told myself I wouldn’t date anyone that does drugs but there I was). He said he smokes it for recreational purposes , to help his depression. And he also told he could quit anytime (apparently he went a month without smoking it). But I was still uneasy with it. When they were having a smoke session with his friends, he FaceTimed me and his best friend was super high and he said to me that I was ugly. I hung up and he tried to call me back. Later he explained his best friend was high and “didn’t mean it”. He also apparently got mad at him too. But I don’t care if you’re high , that revealed your true colors and what you thought of me. Not that I cared what his best friend thought of me. It just backtracks what he said earlier. I don’t want to ever run into a guy like him again. He depended on relationships and girls to make him happy. But he was missing that happiness with himself.

I went through a few more bumps with other dudes after that but now I’m happily single and trying my best to level up and become my best self for myself. I’ve also stopped letting people walk all over and do a lot of things on my own terms. I’m trying to create more boundaries and solidify my standards. It’s all about me now. I’ve focused too much on other people. It’s time to focus on myself.

FashionTech537 · 2020-07-16T00:04:04+00:00

“I knew really early on that she was my lobster” 😂 Cringe

Cobmobster21 · 2020-07-16T03:56:35+00:00

Anyone else heavily confused about the lobster part? Like that so random af 🤣🤣🤣

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