We decline these kinds of dates

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-08-31T22:51:39+00:00

Car "date" 💩💩💩💩💩

RiteWriter · 2020-09-01T05:23:49+00:00

As you get to know each other and you find drinks become part of it, get a mocktail. Club soda with lime and bitters is good. If he does not see that the drinks are “not real” all the better because you can soberly monitor his behavior. What does he try to pull? Does the “I am a nice guy” mask fall? Does he try to coerce you into drinking or more? Run if so.

Eluniae · 2020-09-01T11:53:32+00:00

A moment of silence for my pickme realization. I was on a drink date last year with a guy that pulled the “next round is on you.” I didn’t really feel the need for a second round, especially that I’m a lightweight and told him so, but he insisted and made it sound like I had to repay him so I agreed. The problem was that the bar didn’t accept card and I had no cash. Instead of him offering to pay instead, he made me go out of the bar to look for an ATM and get some cash so I could come back and pay for his cheap drink. (This guy later on followed me home, forced himself into my apartment, and tried to assault me but that’s beyond the point)

just_takin_the_d · 2020-09-01T09:20:20+00:00

This has 100% been my failing in the past with relationships. Too easy, too chill, too cool girl.

However, I get massive anxiety around meeting someone for the first time, and like a short date. I also can't do PDA (like even hold hands) because I think it's rude and immature. I don't like people knowing my personal business, and that includes witnessing a first kiss.

Any tips?

Meadow97 · 2020-09-01T12:02:16+00:00

Could we add guys wanting to join you on an activity to this list?

I had a guy say to me that I should let him know the next time i go on a hike/picnic so he can come along 😬

xxcass1993 · 2020-09-01T08:43:21+00:00

I've always hated movie dates in the courtship phase. You can't even talk to get to know the person during the movie so what's the point?!

GAaliyah12 · 2020-09-01T12:58:17+00:00

Y'all I use to go on car dates and I am so embarrassed. LMAO never again.

Bitemebitch00 · 2020-09-01T08:00:27+00:00

Oof I didn’t think about this. The guy I’m seeing is an hour an a half away. And we’ve been talking and calling for 4 months and have been exclusive for a month. We’ve gone on three dates and he asked if I wanted to do a movie date next time. BIG no I guess hahahah

Edit: he has bought me super nice dinners both these past times and put effort into our last dates. So I thought this was a bit different.

LaTaina87 · 2020-09-01T09:58:26+00:00

I live by the beach, I’m at the beach 5-6 days a week and it’s a huge part of my life. No beach dates???

2020-09-01T22:26:42+00:00

The worst is when a man doesn’t pay for your coffee and expects you to see him again 🤣 you don’t have $2???? And you want me to see you? Dying 🤣

DarthSpinster · 2020-09-01T18:36:56+00:00

I've made the mistake of accepting dinner at his house on the third date more than once in my early twenties. Never again. Dinner at your house alone? We better be in a long-term relationship boi.

seraphinelysion · 2020-09-01T13:50:55+00:00

If their kindness and/or show of generosity is based on an anticipated reciprocation, then it's not genuine.

basicbagels · 2020-09-01T23:02:02+00:00

Someone recently suggested to me “wine in the park” as a first date 😂😂 before FDS I would’ve probably accepted but now I know that it’s LOW EFFORT as well as potentially dangerous, so I declined

Innanaspeaks · 2020-09-01T13:49:03+00:00

Edited

Cutiejea · 2020-09-01T14:27:43+00:00

Out of curiosity, what counts as a "real date"

Microwave79 · 2020-09-01T18:06:24+00:00

I really do not get the point of car dates.. Y'all are both just sitting there and/or eating food when y'all can eat in a nice restaurant instead..

queenstaysunbothered · 2020-09-01T04:46:34+00:00

Hello, I'm a person who likes hiking alot. We have a few short hiking trails in my city. Would it be okay to go on short hikes in the beginning of courtship?

poetfrog · 2020-09-02T16:34:46+00:00

Agree with all of these red flag dates, although (at least for me) I’d suggest replacing the drinks date with a mocktails at a nice bar, as was suggested earlier (especially if it’s in the early stages). I’d do weekdays too. Going out is a big part of my life, so I’d like to be able to vet what he’s like on a night out.

2020-09-01T13:33:54+00:00

Thanks. Will save and remember this post.

wetsai · 2020-09-02T00:51:09+00:00

Wait I might actually need some help in this area.

Are coffee dates that bad? I know you said you'd buy coffee for others easily and that it's low effort but what if I want to be low effort back?

Like it's probably a midday thing in a crowded Starbucks, so yay safety. Also I don't have to get super dolled up, since it's so casual (though I probably will anyways). And if Im not feeling it I could easily leave in 20mins without any potential threats or fanfare.

Is that bad? I just figured it was a good way to get a quick physical read on someone and weed them out if anything obvious sticks out, like if I've been catfished lol.

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WTFShouldIBeCalled · 2020-09-01T10:49:47+00:00

I disagree. The date isn’t about where you guys go, it’s about spending time with each other and getting to know each other better. If one or both of you like the beach, or walking, or just want to stay home and Netflix and chill, that’s fine. Dates don’t always have to be super expensive and extravagant.

ThiccSalty · 2020-09-01T05:22:40+00:00

I don’t get it. You only want guys to take you on expensive dinner dates? Literally nothing else?

1pornstarmartini · 2020-09-01T08:34:38+00:00

What the fuck is this post? Men don’t owe us fancy, expensive dates. There is absolutely nothing wrong with going for coffee and chatting for hours getting to know someone.

Title	We decline these kinds of dates
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	156
Comments	51
Date	August 31, 2020 10:41 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/femaledatingstrategy/comments/ik8cj8/we-decline-these-kinds-of-dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/we-decline-these-kinds-of-dates.1602301 https://theredarchive.com/post/1602301

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