What are your thoughts?

shockingupdate · 2021-10-28T15:02:49+00:00

She’s an iNfLuEnCeR. She’s influencing you right now. No one’s putting a gun to your head and forcing you to have her on your feed, but you’re comparing your lifestyle, looks, and job to hers right now when you could just unfollow?

It’s never the wrong time to take a break from social media. Delete all the apps for a month, go outside, engage in hobbies, spend time with friends, and marvel at how little Instagram really matters when you’re having fun instead of scrolling through the clout machine.

creamtart_ · 2021-10-28T11:05:52+00:00

Read the handbook. Read top strategy posts on the sub. Read through FLUS too.
Reread it all if you have to, to really absorb the advice. Before you ask questions, do your research. Devour all the advice.
Comparison is the thief of joy. You are only seeing her highlight reel. You don’t know her story. You don’t know if she’s a massive PickMe desperate for male validation. Or maybe she’s just hustling dumb scrotes. Or maybe she’s an escort (quite frankly what you described sounds like the typical privileged SW IG). Who knows. Who cares.
Take a break from social media. If you can’t do that, stop following people who clearly make you miserable. It is self-sabotage and just unproductive behaviour. What does it achieve to follow this person? (Hint: fuck all)
Decentre men from your life and invest heavily in every other area of your life, soon you will feel so fulfilled that quality dating/relationships is just a bonus on your already awesome life. i.e. focus on study/career/professional development; fitness/health/mental health/ personal development; hobbies/ interest; investing in your family/social circle, work on cultivating meaningful relationships with the people who matter most to you.
Remember that it is human to desire companionship and intimacy, but it is not the be all and end all. Focus on identifying the feeling and seek fulfilment from what you already have in your life, e.g. are you feeling lonely? Talk to a friend. And so on.
Rinse and repeat until this all sticks.

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2021-10-28T10:34:47+00:00

Unfollow her, why compare yourself to someone who is only showcasing the best parts of their life? For all you know, SHE is the one paying for everything. She might be miserable because no relationship lasts past six months.

You find a HV by continually vetting and blocking and deleting broke LV losers as soon as they make known their LV ways.

shedipity · 2021-10-28T11:07:15+00:00

If she’s fairly popular on social media, guys probably know how to “win” her over and clearly, it never works if she has a new guy every 6 months. Why are you even following her? It’s obviously impacting you negatively. The handbook states everything you need to know about attracting high value men and high value dates.

_cnz_ · 2021-10-28T20:15:35+00:00

I lived with a girl who is a pretty popular influencer. She has multiple endorsement deals, has her own fashion brands, and also wears designer clothing/accessories. She had this rich and handsome bf that shed always post on social media. They looked so perfect from the outside but they weren’t.

They would purposely give each other extravagant gifts for the sole purpose of a social media post. They’d spend hours buying the “gifts” together and using professional lighting to take the photos. Although he was rich, he actually lived with her when he dropped out of school to become a forex trader and ad scammer. She basically paid everything for him (and hewould steal my housemates food) while he lived in our house rent free for months. He also totaled her car, to which she had to pay for. He was constantly giving her yeast infections and an STD bc he wouldn’t wear condoms. They would go to events like Coachella due to her brand deals, but come home crying and arguing bc he took too many drugs and got them kicked out of events. They broke up (for good) on day 3 of a 10 day vacation to the Bahamas. You wouldn’t have known because they were still posting each other and on social media.

She dated other people (models, socialites, even royalty) after him, but they would also take advantage of her financially or abuse her emotionally. Wouldn’t have been able to tell in her social media though because they were always going on these “perfect” expensive dates.

This was a lot but I just wanted to illustrate how fake an influencers lifestyle. I got a front row seat to her mess of a life for 3 years and it’s completely changed how I view social media. As long as your standards are high, don’t worry about anything else.

Kimpractical · 2021-10-28T13:59:45+00:00

Everything on social media is fake. Yea she’s having men take her on trips and stuff but she’s not going to show everyone what she has to put up with in order for these men to do these things for her. People only show the good things on social media. Let’s take for example Shannan Watts, Gabby Petito, and the wife of Ali Abulaban. All seemingly had perfect lives and perfect relationships on social media, but they were murdered by the men who were supposed to the ‘perfect’ husband. And looking at their social media profiles you would’ve never guessed that would happen. That’s why I think staying away from social media is best, it’s usually the ones who are posting about how great their lives are that are the most messed up out of all of us

IndividualRoutine661 · 2021-10-28T16:42:08+00:00

Unfollow. I don’t compare myself to others it’s a road to hell.

AnniaT · 2021-10-28T12:03:40+00:00

She might be sugarbabying or escorting if all her followers are men and has no girlfriends. Or maybe not and simply gets to meet men to date who take her to expensive places. If you want a relationship then there is nothing to compare or envy because she's not getting it either, just a few fun flings and nice photos for Instagram.

plomerst · 2021-10-28T13:44:28+00:00

So I share a mutual friend with this pretty IG influencer and ended up staying in the same vacation home with her for 1 week. It is all a facade. I realized I could create such an enviable life on the outside if I so desired. She cried to me one night and she shared her struggles..but on IG she posts her $10k bags, lavish vacas etc. It appears men spoil her but she carefully selects who/what she will post, and the appearance is far from the truth. She told me I’m a pretty girl and advised me how to get these same perks, but I provide myself a nice life and have no interest in seeking men out for a lifestyle. Even a guy I was dating at the time told me she lives in a “fantasy land”…

Specific-Composer300 · 2021-10-28T10:54:39+00:00

From the outset it looks like she has high standards but she probably actually had low standards and only cares abiut his money and how he looks on social media and not how he treats her, how loyal and intelligent he is, if he's liking other women's pics, if he's disrespectful and negging, etc.

Big-Respond8481 · 2021-10-28T14:21:26+00:00

1)

The cool photos are just a marketing gig to lure in "customers"(i.e. followers). The reality behind the product is way more boring/normal than her insta suggests. Remember, she selects her post carefully and takes her time making marketable pictures and what you see is really just one little part of her day.

2)

Don't focus too much on how to attract a HVM. It will just lead you into the trap of putting men's desires before your own for your detriment. It is easy to fall into a people-pleasing position like that.

drowsypillowprincess · 2021-10-28T14:54:51+00:00

Social media is a lie. Period.

Test this: Gather a photo representing only the best part of your life Crop everything even slightly negative out of it. Embellish even the most mundane positive description (it’s sunny out? No. “It’s a blessed Sunday full of God’s good rays of sunshine beating down on our freckled faces!”).

Now photoshop yourself to be an impossible standard of beauty. No blemishes. No redness. No stray hairs. Pull your waist in and your boobs out. Slap a filter on that edited photo to further distort the colors of the world and make people literally see your life through rose colored lenses.

Does that photo accurately represent your life??? Probably not.

I promise you she is struggling because the nature of this world is we’re all struggling. She likely has body issues, mental health issues, self-esteem issues, etc. that she doesn’t talk about online because she too feels pressure to have and be it all.

Also, her life, from what you’ve painted, seems kind of sad to begin with. Fleeting, hollow relationships with a carousel of men? Where’s the commitment? Where’s the trust? No friends? How sad. Who does she call when she’s having a bad day? Who would be there if she got sick? Or had a mental breakdown? Where is her ride or die support system of women who will show up and stay should shit go down?

Envy is normal, so don’t beat yourself up over that. Acknowledge it’s there. Recognize what parts of her (supposed) life you want and work hard to achieve them for yourself in a real, honest, non-filtered way.

And this is from a former pickme who lied, flat out lied about the success of my life and the healthiness of a former abusive relationship because I was scared, embarrassed, ashamed, and didn’t know how to break the cycles that got me into that situation in the first place. It was all a lie. And I feel bad I lied to my followers (aka friends and family), but it wasn’t out of malice. I was afraid. Years of therapy helped.

Best of luck.

electroloop · 2021-10-28T11:12:18+00:00

Curious to know what her instagram photos consist of, and I guarantee it’s flaunting her “assets” for the male gaze if she has a massive following of men from OLD and otherwise.

Sounds like a SW if her entire world revolves around men and just showing off what they provide for her. If she has a new bf every 6 months, it shows her taste in men is quite shallow anyways and probably centres around something you wouldn’t stand for.

That’s why social media is toxic. Unfollow her and maybe even delete social media altogether. Stop comparing yourself to false realities on IG. Remember that IG is just a careful curation of the best moments of your life. You have absolutely no idea what things she had to go through to show off her lavish life to her followers.

Oh, and read the handbook!

thewetdog_ · 2021-10-28T13:08:47+00:00

You don’t know what she lives like, just what she posts. Theres a chance she’s hypergamous and showcases this stuff on social media to let other guys know to not even bother if they can’t keep up. Maybe she chucks them at 6 months once they don’t propose or she realizes they’re not it, and shamelessly moves on to the next one.

We should all keep it moving at all times, now, Whether you post about it is another thing but like others said, focus on improving your life.

There’s much more to drawing interesting men than looks, so if you are comparable in her to looks, are you fun? Do you have things to talk about, interesting hobbies? Or you just come home everyday to get on Reddit and instagram.

If you’re triggered into self comparison there’s something she has that you want. Instead of asking why don’t have it, look to see what you wish your life looked at and if you’re working towards that or just waiting for it to magically happen.

fuckbeingautobanned · 2021-10-28T10:41:02+00:00

You've already said it yourself. She doesn't seem to have much going on for herself except these dates. She's dipping into the pool without levelling up.

WorkaholicParty · 2021-10-28T15:24:35+00:00

She's definetly a sugar baby or sw of some sorts, depending on the nature of her relationships. There's no way those are actual boyfriends, she's probably selling "The GF experience" though. She just can't spell it out on Instagram but that's literally what these SB do on that platform, especially if they get their followers from OLD.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2021-10-30T22:57:51+00:00

Having a wide dating pool as FDS suugests means being DISCREET about it. Certainty not posting anything to social media about the men you are dating. And a new guy every 6 months is not rotational dating.

stalient · 2021-10-28T17:39:16+00:00

How attractive are the guys taking her on dates?

Title	What are your thoughts?
Author	msssst
Upvotes	123
Comments	25
Date	October 28, 2021 10:12 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qhjr6a/what_are_your_thoughts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-are-your-thoughts.1081377 https://theredarchive.com/post/1081377

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