What was the last straw?

VulcanSpaceSquirrel · 2021-01-14T15:39:28+00:00

When he didn’t want to spend my dead sisters bday with me and argued that he didn’t want to disappoint his friends. He would rather disappoint me. Oh well! Bye. Kicked him out and I kept his cats. He never changed their litter box anyway.

Alpha_Aries · 2021-01-14T16:26:00+00:00

had sex with my "friend" with benefits for the xth time, except this time he was done in five minutes and didn't pleasure me at all.

this was after saying he didn't want to date me and i shoved my feelings down and pretended i was fine with this arrangement.

well, after that last time we had sex, i immediately got up and left, and never spoke to him again. that night, i googled "friends with benefits" and found FDS.

#NoBadSex2021

#NoSubparRelationships2021

Espionagess · 2021-01-14T16:00:22+00:00

[deleted]

caneson3 · 2021-01-14T18:11:22+00:00

When we were out for a walk with our son then 2, and my little one fell...I ran towards him and when I picked him up I threw my back out, just very simply threw it out completely and I had to lay on the ground crying. He stood over me. He never once asked me if I was okay, never offered to help me. I was on the ground crying in front of him and our son for over 5 minutes until I could get the strength to stand up and hobble home. That was the last straw.

mynameisrominka · 2021-01-14T17:52:52+00:00

Watching myself begging for THE BARE MINIMUM. Never again.

AyemHerself · 2021-01-14T17:20:11+00:00

He made a couple of comments regarding a coworker that made me suspicious. I was seriously contemplating and looking for ways to get into his phone/tablet/desktop to snoop. That was when I took a step back and realized how far gone my trust was, and that it'd never be repaired.

It wasn't just the comments, of course. That was just the latest incident after years of triangulation and emotional abuse.

LeighHolloway44 · 2021-01-14T15:55:54+00:00

He gaslit me and went silent after I tried to have a discussion about how I felt like a complete inconsideration to him. When I called him out on ghosting, he texted, “I have nothing to say. Don’t fuck with me; I’m not in the mood today”. I left him with, “so you think silent treatment ISN’T an example of fucking with me? You’re very self-absorbed” and BLOCKED and DELETED immediately before he had a chance to respond.

Samvanderkamp123 · 2021-01-14T18:25:26+00:00

I was remodeling a house with my ex husband. I gave him cash he said was needed to pay a contractor. There was no contractor bill. Instead, he gave that $1500 to woman he was having an affair with to use as a deposit on an apartment.

saragc92 · 2021-01-14T16:27:41+00:00

When I had to keep telling him for months that I’m not OK with him “simping” over women online. I have no to problem with porn or with online influencers.

He would go out his way to find and subscribe to women who would call themselves gamer girls but all they do is cater to male audiences. Always flaunting ass boobs something.

He kept insisting it was normal. Even after we talked about it and I decided to send him pics of me and what I’m wearing to stop his urges.... while he said he loved my photos and alway wanted to see me more of me, he never stopped simping online on women.

One day I texted him I’ve had enough, he just keeps crossing my boundaries over and over. And I complete blocked him on everything.

He still emails me to this day, saying he’s better now and bla bla bla.... no thank you

jayda92 · 2021-01-14T17:46:06+00:00

He left me sick and bleeding in my apartment and ignored me for days. I was in shock. Bleeding. Hurt. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. Only cry.

One day I woke up sooooo incredibly angry, that I promised myself better.

I got so much better.

Ana_jp · 2021-01-14T18:20:32+00:00

I was supposed to move in with him, and I got a text right before I drove over for the agreed upon time I’d arrive, that he was going out with the roommates for a celebratory dinner and I’d have to move in by myself and could meet them at the restaurant.

I called it off immediately. Found out he hadn’t even told the roommates when I was coming, they totally would have waited for me because at least they weren’t inconsiderate jerks.

coolestgirlyoueverme · 2021-01-14T23:06:05+00:00

A fast food wrapper that he had left on the table for over a week

Pasdepromesses · 2021-01-14T19:01:11+00:00

Realizing that I didn't have any time or energy for LV behavior and abuse anymore. Whether it's from a cheater, a controlling and abusive narc or a hobosexual. I literally had 10 long term boyfriends and only two of them were HVM and both wanted kids (I'm childfree).

I'm living happily in my beautiful apartment and am planning to live my best life. If a HVM lands in my lap, fine. But I'd probably prefer a 'living apart together' situation. For now I'm perfectly content with being single.

BlondeBeginning · 2021-01-15T02:48:55+00:00

Met a guy for a date that turned out to be a walking date in a park. On the way back, I went into his house (a shared house with other men around his age) to use the bathroom. It was the most horrendous, disgusting mess I have ever seen in my life. I couldn’t bring myself to use it.

I then discovered that he didn’t actually live in the house but in collapsible garden shed in the backyard, the kind you buy at a hardware store, complete with a mattress on the floor.

This was a 32 year old man with a law degree and a full-time professional job. He also had the gall to attempt to neg me on the date.

I feel like his situation was extreme but I’m continually floored by how many men in their late 20s and early 30s do not have their basic shit together. I’m looking for a partner I can build a life with and most of the men I’ve met can barely take care of themselves, let alone a partner. I’m taking a dating break at the moment. It’s bleak out there... 😞

Cairenne · 2021-01-14T17:18:45+00:00

He ignored me when I said I wouldn't hug him due to covid.

My son and I were self isolating, but my now ex had one of my baking dishes that I needed for what I was cooking. So he was going to drop it over for me, and that was cool.

What wasn't cool was the way he lingered at the door and said he needed the bathroom after I told him he couldn't come in. I let him, which with hindsight I wasn't pleased about and shouldn't have. Anyway.

After that, he hung about and didn't take my hints to leave. Started hinting that he couldn't wait for the day after we were allowed to meet up again and how he'd be over that day definitely. Hugely implied that he wanted sex, and keep in mind this is with my five year old in the room.

I asked him if I got a say in the matter and he said no. I think he thought he was joking. My blood ran cold.

He asked for a hug, I said no. A few times. Then I handed him something to take home, and my KID hugged him, and he made the "rationalisation" that it wouldn't make a difference now. I did hug him, mainly because I wanted him out the house.

Took me a little longer to shoo him out. On his way out the door he asked for another hug and I TOLD HIM NO AGAIN and he wheedled. And I gave in. Because I wanted him gone.

And he kissed me without even asking.

I broke up with him over the phone that night. He then proceeded to make me feel 100% justified in my choice for the next several weeks.

(Point of fact, he went straight to only fans. After crying and begging and telling me over the phone that he couldn't be alone again and couldn't cope. And running away to his parents. Yikes.)

Express_Chocolate_60 · 2021-01-14T17:47:34+00:00

When he always tried to dismiss my traumas and kept telling "You see I have my issues too" and shit like that.

cloudless-blanket · 2021-01-14T19:20:11+00:00

Caught him taking a video of me during sex. After telling him, several times, that I wasn't ok with that sort of thing.

We had been seeing each other for quite a while, almost two years. He liked taking it from behind. I have no idea how many times he videoed me without me knowing.

He was so sweet and kind to me. But there were so many flags. It was a FWB situation. I dropped him immediately. If I had found FDS sooner, I would have dropped him waaaaay before he'd had the opportunity.

I have a new job now, and I am terrified that he will feel petty and vengeful and post the video(s), and that a coworker or customer will see it, and I may lose my job for it, or get harassed and targeted for it. I have no idea how realistic that is, but the panic and anxiety still festers.

I've lost a lot of faith in my judgement of other people, especially men. It feels so much safer to just be single.

peachesngrunge · 2021-01-15T08:41:23+00:00

I don’t know what exactly flipped the switch for me. Pretty sure the series of toxic, emotionally abusive relationships drove me to quit men, finally.

But one example was a male “friend” of mine who kept asking me to pee on him. I would always laugh at him and brush it off, but he was serious and kept asking for it every time we hung out. Like, in the middle of a perfectly innocuous conversation he would ask if I’d considered peeing on him yet! Um, no?! The last time he told me he’d pay me to do it. I got up and walked away and haven’t spoken to him since.

Oh, and the time I got absolutely wasted in Vegas, like blackout puking drunk, and kept coming into consciousness to find my ex having violent sex with me. Can’t forget that classic.

MonarchCrew · 2021-01-14T19:48:57+00:00

Spammed me and my (male) best friend with screenshots of “emotional cheating” articles at like 3am. I was drunk and stayed the night instead of driving back or walking home alone in the dark. This was after he asked for an open relationship and had another girlfriend. He was upset I stayed the night because I wasn’t home 3 HOURS before the curfew he set for me... yeah, really. It got that bad and I didn’t realize.

A lot worse had happened before that, but it had become so normalized to me, and downplayed, that it wasn’t until he accused me of cheating (projection, much?) and failed to gaslight me into believing it... that I realized it all. There was no possible way for him to convince me of that one, to twist it. He messed up his manipulation tactic and I got tf away.

LeighHolloway44 · 2021-01-14T19:45:30+00:00

Omg, I don’t blame you for your sentiments WHATSOEVER!!! I’m so sorry that happened to you!

Title	What was the last straw?
Author	Depthdull
Upvotes	83
Comments	45
Date	January 14, 2021 2:42 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kx6w9u/what_was_the_last_straw/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-was-the-last-straw.728603 https://theredarchive.com/post/728603

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