My best friend has always been really sexually open and I respect it, but I think sometimes it goes into pick me territory. I was in am LDR and she complained about not seeing my BF ever when he visited, but the first time we had plans she pressured us into going to a strip club with her and her husband so I didnt meet up with them. Looking back its actually annoying that she chose going to a strip club over getting to know him, but whatever.

I had told her I was not comfortable with going, especially with my SO but I did not press it because I was embarrassed. I had been really brainwashed by sex positivity back then, and I thought if I wasnt comfortable with certain things I was a bad feminist or a prude. So I didnt push the issue with her, I just bailed but I had already told her that a strip club was not my idea of fun. She told me that it wasnt just a strip club, they had hookah and pool tables outside on a patio area. So then my birthday came and I wanted to go to a bar. She brought a random couple and they werent 21 so they couldn't go to the bar, but they could go to the strip club. Her husband and the couple ditched me, my best friend, and another friend of mine and my friend made me feel weird for not wanting to go, so I went, thinking I would just play pool away from the strip club area. It was a terrible experience. It was somehow much... worse than I envisioned and I was SO GLAD I wasnt with my bf. I probably could have been coerced by them to go with him back then, but after experiencing it IRL I will never be back and hope he never goes to one, either.

I think if we get married (which I really think we will and we discuss often) they will try to rope him into going, but I will not be ok with that. I'm sure they will call me a hypocrite because I went, but my views were MUCH different back then, and I really didn't want to go I am just a bit of a pushover. Also, my boyfriend hates strip clubs, but I know he is going to feel pressured just like I was. I trust him and think he will say no when the time comes, but i do not want to get a barrage of shit when that day comes just because I am firm about this. I dont know why this is normalized and considered a "tradition" for bachelor parties, but I dont think I'm crazy for considering it cheating and I'm so tired of being gaslit, particularly by other WOMEN about what I consider cheating.

A side note: I am bisexual. The friend is not, she just enjoys going for... some reason. I often get my sexuality called into question because I don't sexualize women, which is stupid because I also dont sexualize men. I am a very monogamous person, and I am not sexually attracted to people other than my partner (other than an objective, like oh yeah I can see how that person is cute way). I also dont become sexually attracted without an emotional connection, so body parts of strangers do nothing for me.