Why do guys on first dates ask “can you cook?”

RiasXgremoryX · 2020-10-24T06:46:49+00:00

Men who ask questions like "can you cook and/or clean?" to a woman they don't even know, are men who don't have their lives together and are looking for some poor naïve woman to pick up where mother left off.

They think they are being "proactive" and smart about dating when they ask these questions when in reality, they are being disrespectful, intrusive and sexist because cooking and/or cleaning for yourself is a basic everyday skill that EVERY adult should know how to do, not just women.

When I hear men say that I always ask "Can you build a house?" change a flat tire? replace a lightbulb, fix a broken sink? slay a dragon? buy me a gilded pink castle?"

WildTenderness · 2020-10-24T07:24:50+00:00

"Women look for life partners and men look for who can best serve them."

LaTaina87 · 2020-10-24T09:21:03+00:00

I’ve been asked, “what are you going to cook for me?” in the beginning stages of texting by more than a handful of “men” ... WTF?! Why would you ask that? What makes you think I’d want to do ANYTHING for you? I’m here to see what you’re going to do for me, beeotch!

cece188 · 2020-10-24T06:00:45+00:00

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Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-10-24T05:43:58+00:00

What a pig!

Response: "do you have a 10-in dick and can go for three rounds?"

But seriously, the only response is to never see him again.

If I was stuck on a date with this guy I would ask him "oh, are you looking for a maid?" Or maybe just say "No, but I eat. Do you cook?"

cquill54321 · 2020-10-24T06:58:16+00:00

Omg this has happened to me on pretty much every first date I’ve been on. These men want a mother. Time to move on!

Daphnetiq · 2020-10-24T10:57:48+00:00

”Of course. There is no excuse for an adult not to know how to cook.” is a great way to answer this.

elementalvirago · 2020-10-24T08:21:43+00:00

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LadyGrimes · 2020-10-24T06:46:00+00:00

Cause they want to know right away if you're the right mommy for them.

Pornruinedsociety · 2020-10-24T10:18:27+00:00

Because they are freemealdiggers, wifeybenefitsdiggers, they are just everythingdiggers.

EarthKveik · 2020-10-24T10:37:51+00:00

"Are you looking for a life partner or a servant?"

At least they're weeding themselves out on the first date.

WildTenderness · 2020-10-24T06:57:45+00:00

I’ve never had a man ask me this question, ever.

romantickitty · 2020-10-24T08:32:30+00:00

I've never been asked this out of the blue. But in the context of conversations about favorite foods or what I did that day, it might come up. And I answer and turn the question back around. The thing that baffles me is how many grown ass men will reply that they can't really cook beyond a salad and a steak. I'm not a master chef but it's a basic adulting skill. How hard is it to make a marinade and pop something in the oven?

ItsFreezen · 2020-10-24T12:21:33+00:00

Ask him " Can you build a house? "

NottodayScrote · 2020-10-24T13:10:44+00:00

For me its usually "So what do you do?"
Idk.Twiddle my thumbs and fart the alphabet? 🤷‍♀️ What do you do, Steve?

Haven't been asked the cooking question yet but that would be a deal breaker for me. A man who doesn't cook also will not help around the house, pick up after himself, help with the children.
They are completely useless. No thanks

wolf_town · 2020-10-24T08:08:53+00:00

Technically I can cook, but can i cook well, not so much 😅 this reminds me of my mom always telling me i needed to learn how to cook and clean if i wanted to get married 🙄

futuristicallyangry · 2020-10-24T16:57:51+00:00

I have been a fantasy for so many men because I can cook really well. And I loathed being a fantasy of that sort, because cooking is a life skill and men who idealize and actively look for women who cook or clean or good at basic adulting, life skills, are the kinda men who have their lives fallen apart and are looking for a mother/servant/therapist all in one. That question alone is the sign to run, run, run from the men-children.

staywiththecrown · 2020-10-24T14:35:07+00:00

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buttercup_010 · 2020-10-24T16:09:39+00:00

I’ve seen a vast difference between the men who ask me this question and the ones that don’t. I used to think of it as just a topic of conversation but now I’m convinced it’s a red flag.

2020-10-24T22:34:24+00:00

“Oh yeah, I’m a great cook. What are your favorite go-to recipes at home? Culinary traditions? How old is your sourdough starter? Did you learn from family traditions or something you picked up later in life? Glad to meet someone who shares this hobby!” See if he hedges or actually has something to say :D

bowdownjesus · 2020-10-24T11:44:55+00:00

If he´s a foodie, it could see it as a must. However, I think in most cases it is them wanting you to want to impress them, like you are applying for the job of girlfriend. And that´s a no-no.

PollyAnnaSunshine · 2020-10-24T22:51:21+00:00

They're asking hoping to hear a Pickmeisha answer about how of course she can cook and she'd love to cook for him, she loves cooking for her man and picking up his dirty socks off the floor and she always looks after her man and fixes him a plate.

Accountabili_Buddy · 2020-10-25T00:10:54+00:00

In my very very brief stint with OLD men would ask me that via text.... even though I have chef as my profession in my bio. Like for FUCKING real.

vereelimee · 2020-10-24T23:08:39+00:00

So frustrating.

It's one thing to discuss your various food preferences. It's another to ask if I am really a starving hot mess because I don't know how to turn a knob on the stove or oven.

Every day I hope a man wants to take me to dinner because otherwise I have no way of feeding myself! I will never forget the kindness of this meal that cost you $20 plus tax./s

I could maybe understand asking if you bake. Baking and cooking are different. Lots of chefs I know do not bake. They hate baking for being finnicky and delicate. They could cook an amazing dish but not bake. Also lots of chefs have cooking burnout; so off the clock many eat the most unhealthy and appalling junk foods.

randomgirlimok · 2020-10-24T23:47:52+00:00

“I’m an adult so yes I know how to cook food for myself.”

randomgirl34861 · 2020-10-24T17:36:14+00:00

I hate this question. My boyfriend asked if I could cook on our first date.... I definitely didn’t like that because I’ve been asked it by a lot of LVM. When I asked more about it, I learned that he struggles with OCD (which used to be severe, but is much better after years of therapy and putting effort into personal growth.) However, he still struggles with eating things others have cooked because one of the things he fears is that chemicals have accidentally gotten into food. He was anxious that I would cook/bake something for him and then he’d have to tell me he wasn’t comfortable eating it. So he was asking because he was hoping to find a woman who doesn’t care to cook since he prefers to make meals when we don’t go out. He’s cooked lots of great dishes for me, and I’m cool with this because I hate to cook. You can probe more if someone asks if you can cook, however, there’s only like a .0004% chance that this question is being asked because he hopes to do the cooking.

Title	Why do guys on first dates ask “can you cook?”
Author	cece188
Upvotes	167
Comments	46
Date	October 23, 2020 11:00 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jgxup2/why_do_guys_on_first_dates_ask_can_you_cook/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-do-guys-on-first-dates-ask-can-you-cook.321279 https://theredarchive.com/post/321279

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