Why should we even bother dating men?

frugaholic1201 · 2019-10-18T15:57:51+00:00

[removed]

Cocksmasher69 · 2019-10-18T17:09:46+00:00

Honestly straight women should just marry other straight women and if they want to fuck men, keep a fuck buddy around that doesn't know where they live or anything else around them. Women are better at everything, including being husbands 😂

TheOGJammies · 2019-10-18T13:35:41+00:00

Because unfortunately sexuality is not a choice. But truth be told, this is rapidly becoming a worldwide sentiment for women in developed countries which is partially why birthrates are plummeting. Men suck to be around by and large.

Look at these Chinese women:

https://nypost.com/2019/07/03/seven-chinese-girlfriends-buy-mansion-to-retire-and-die-together/

China has a surplus of like 40 million men so they have plenty of partners to choose from but a large percentage of women would prefer to still ignore them and be friends with other women, lol.

Personally, I advocate for compartmentalizing your relationships with men and being ruthless about what you want. They don’t comply? Drop their ass and tell them exactly why. You’ll be much happier that way.

twoXfeminist · 2019-10-18T16:27:45+00:00

Just wondering OP, do you mean you’ve had more orgasms with toys/masturbating? If so, I agree—the typical orgasms that come with vibrators are infinitely more intense and pleasurable than even the best orgasm that a guy could give you.

i_poop_so_much901020 · 2019-10-18T16:51:38+00:00

I love this post SO MUCH. You couldn’t be more correct.

irrelephantphotons · 2019-10-18T16:11:43+00:00

I've been in a couple of marriages and had a few boyfriends, single is soooo much better. No one nags me, no one asks me to pick up stupid shit from the store on the way home while nickel and diming me to death, no one gropes me after I tell them I'm not in the mood, less dishes to do, I'm over it. I'm very happily self-sufficient, I don't have any emotional voids.

sensitivesmol · 2019-10-18T14:25:08+00:00

plus the sex..... I used to think I like PIV just because I've used dildos while masturbating occasionally but then I actually lost my virginity and realized how not great it is. I do get that tiny bit of pleasure because I obviously do like some penetration but, I don't enjoy being jackhammered for any longer than 30 seconds. I'm thinking oh my god please cum already. Yeah, sex definitely shouldn't be like that, I know. I like everything more than piv, actually. Making out, cuddling, foreplay is all better than piv.

understatedalways · 2019-10-18T13:02:32+00:00

I’ve honestly started thinking that too. Most men I meet are all emotionally volatile like toddlers, and I have tried a wide range of men from different backgrounds. I don’t need another child to look after.

Edit: I thought I’d add some examples for you guys to laugh at. One dude started crying because I didn’t want to cuddle him to sleep. Another dude started screaming on a date because I refused to hold his hand. I laughed at him and then he started crying. Yet another started crying during dinner because his ex wife cheated on him...15 years ago. Maybe I’m too unemotional but I just can’t handle any of this drama they bring.

keyhiscar · 2019-10-18T20:36:44+00:00

AGREED !!! We don't even need them. Like.. honestly, for what? We got machines that take care of us sexually. Dogs and cats that will snuggle us. Girlfriends we can talk to (who actually bring something to the conversation). Most importantly, we can do whatever the fuck we want. I don't understand why people get so "lonely" because they're not in a relationship. Go have fun. Embrace the stress free life !!

IwantyoualltoBEDAVE · 2019-10-18T15:15:04+00:00

Because society and most women's families say we have to in order to not be a degenerate
If you find a man that's actually on the same level as you then you can improve each other's lives together. Dating someone more successful than you will also rub off on you to make you more likely to be a successful person.
Emotional labour is counteracted by the good feeling of actually liking someone else
Some girls like to depend on guys for financial and emotional support. Financially, I think it's definitely better to learn from guys you date how to make money rather than just taking theirs, though. Emotional support is not a valid reason the way I see it.

Whether these reasons counteract the cons is a different decision though, but in some cases with some guys, dating can definitely be considered. Imo, a certain type of guy is required, like what MGTOW guys refer to as 'the unicorn'.

IwantyoualltoBEDAVE · 2019-10-18T16:02:07+00:00

Because I find life in general pretty boring and depressing but dating is fun for me. The pros outweigh the cons enough to keep doing it. I wish more women were available and less lesbians had issues with women who are also sexually attracted to men, but that's not the reality I've dealt with, so I mainly date guys.

It's nice to have someone around to tease, and make inside jokes and fight over the meaning of movies with. As I get older, my age group is busy investing their time in marriage and families and has less time for friends, so it's not like I can always just do this stuff with friends instead.

And even if I choose to not settle down and focus on finding like-minded friends, that doesn't mean I'll click with them and will be able to depend on them like a romantic partner. Both sexes are trained from early on to be future romantic partners and part of a family unit, not platonic friends for life. It's easier to find someone who meets your standards as a mate, than someone who meets your standards as a friend, who has no obligation to stick with you. When you're with a suitable man who genuinely loves you (at least in the ways that they can) they are pressured by family, society, and their own training to feel like they are responsible for a long term commitment.

Sure, they could leave you, but I'd be willing to take that chance with a good man over being alone. But if you believe there are no good men, then yeah, there's probably no point in dating.

Kkykkx · 2019-10-18T19:28:49+00:00

Know what you want BEFORE you date anyone. Don’t settle for less. Chose what’s best for YOU. Be self reliant and do not NEED someone; you can WANT someone but be ok without them. Set your boundaries and say bye bye the first time a man shows abuse or neglect or disrespect. When he tells you who is is: BELIEVE HIM. Screw abuse. You are not anybody’s victim. This is YOUR ONE LIFE. Be strong GF. I’m with you in spirit! Be your own love.

AudiovisualHoe · 2019-10-18T15:59:06+00:00

I wouldn't even care about the sex and chores and emotional labor if I could find one smart, funny, kind, empathetic man with drive, who took an active interest in me and wanted a respectful and loving relationship. That's how low my standards are. I don't care about appearance or money or anything like that at all. It still feels impossible.

THANK U FOR THE SILVER :):):):):)

BarbieDontWantYouHoe · 2019-10-18T14:04:54+00:00

Exactly men add no value to women’s lives. It’s more realistic to just stop dating them.

Havest22 · 2019-10-18T17:23:52+00:00

i only date guys now if they add something to my life. and im super careful in the dating process to not put me at risk of violence

epzicuza · 2019-10-18T17:57:07+00:00

Sometimes I wish I liked women... Figure us females are easier to date

katiedarling37 · 2019-10-18T16:56:41+00:00

I have had an idea in my head about open platonic female relationships for a while now.

Find a friend with equal or similar goals

Get legally married to gain the benefits of being legally married. Have what ever relationships you want with who ever you want, keeping the core financial goals in mind

Make a decision about how kids will fit in, should you want them.

Since men don’t want to actually be in a marriage in the first place, we have to realize, we don’t need them anymore for marriage 🤷🏻‍♀️

RinoaRita · 2019-10-19T00:35:37+00:00

I think the best part of having a partner is having the buddy system. If one of you has trouble the other one is good. As long as there’s balance it all works out.

I’m bi so I could be as happy with a woman too. So I’m basically answering why having a partner that’s got your back and you got theirs too is pretty good in life.

vintagesauce · 2019-10-18T17:40:39+00:00

I think that this is why I feel like polyamory suits me. Though this puts my pool of available men into an incredibly small ratio, I find that GENERALLY men that are polyamorous are better at communication in relationships. Not that whole, "I'm looking for a relationship" trope while ghosting you except for those "are you up?" texts at 1am.

For me, it also places me in a position where I am the only one responsible for my happiness. I am not looking for THE ONE, only to be disappointed. Each of my partners are so different, and yes, I do fall in love with them. However, not relying on one dude to fill all my needs allows me to see the gifts that each of these people bring to my life. I like living alone, having time to myself, having my things in my own living space and not having to compromise. I enjoy having people in my life that fit certain needs: adventurous sex, live music shows, indie movies, hikes, romantic intimacy, etc. Above all, I love the fact that I meet quality men in the polyamorous world that seem to have a leg up on self-awareness compared to "monogamous" men.

To be clear, I'm in my early 50s, so part of this is the fact that I've had my kid, lived with partners (male and female), experienced all that and realized it's not going to make me happy. I'm picky as fuck. I also gain so much closeness and companionship from my platonic friends.

I fucking feel for those who are seeking monogamous relationships and are heterosexual or heteroromantic. Fuck, opening any dating app automatically has me hating men in a real way.

That said, my litmus test for new dates is saying the phrase, "men are trash". Any man that responds with, "BUT NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE THAT" get booted out. Fuck you. You think I'm dumb? The men in my life are in my life because I realized NOT ALL MEN. If you talk about your support of women more than your actions show, you're not getting my pussy.

Argh.

PrincessTeex · 2019-10-18T23:26:36+00:00

Is this a feminist group?

frugaholic1201 · 2019-10-18T17:11:06+00:00

Uh, that’s an interesting question to be asked in a sub specifically for strategies on how to date men! Lol

If there was not benefit at all, no one would be doing it.

Qtoonice · 2019-10-19T04:07:29+00:00

Just because you’ve had terrible experiences in the past doesn’t mean you should shut down all your opportunities for a happier future. Don’t live afraid and running from the past or worst case scenarios. I use to do that and that only brought me more pain and suffering in the end.

TotesMessenger · 2019-10-18T18:45:38+00:00

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burntmatchesburn3x · 2019-10-18T22:15:14+00:00

[removed]

Title	Why should we even bother dating men?
Author	IwantyoualltoBEDAVE
Upvotes	246
Comments	124
Date	October 18, 2019 12:57 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/djn4ln/why_should_we_even_bother_dating_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-should-we-even-bother-dating-men.689872 https://theredarchive.com/post/689872

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