How does one become an Incel?

ancientBatman · 2026-02-21T00:39:00+00:00

Have social anxiety and be average looking

Tharkun140 · 2026-02-20T23:27:16+00:00

Disagree with someone on the Internet and you'll become an incel instantly. Easy, no effort required.

For a serious answer, incel communities attract men who do not feel welcome anywhere else, be it online or IRL. Nobody looks at these forums and decides they're great unless they're treated with hostility everywhere else, or at the very least perceive other spaces as being hostile. So like, don't be awful to young men, and their chances of becoming incels will be lower than otherwise.

Mycroft033 · 2026-02-21T05:51:03+00:00

Incel is defined as “a man I don’t like or disagree with” now, so that’s how you become one lol

MountaineerChemist10 · 2026-02-21T03:29:16+00:00

Disagree with anything a Liberal white woman says & you’re either a misogynist, racist, sexist, an incel…or all of the above 🤷‍♂️

World-Three · 2026-02-21T08:04:55+00:00

If you lose but are forced to compete. Are you wrong for dragging your feet?

That's probably the shortest way I can describe an incel situation. Men who were either told they were inadequate or just feel that way themselves, being forced by society to get out there and take risks for their own good, when the last few times they've tried, they've been told exactly what made them this way.

"You'll get em next time." Is the type of attitude they want you to adopt while paradoxically cratering into your mind that you deserve nothing. Compete for the fuck of it, win through character and still lose with appearance, just keep losing so you can say you kept trying.

It's like society is a bunch of truancy officers. Pass or fail, they want you to be present in school even if it is clearly not doing you any good. They won't help you pass, they just want your derrière in a chair. This is how they treat incels. Be where I want you to be, and dance water dance.

So, when most people who reach out to incels are essentially doing all of the above, they slap their hand away and stay where they are. The world gets mad when they see them migrate away from society, but if you only truly care when they leave, did you really want them to stay for a good enough reason? It's not like they're compensated for their presence like some people seem to be...

Local-Willingness784 · 2026-02-21T01:29:14+00:00

depends on what you mean by incel but i would say its a product of our time and conditions, technology, social media, dating apps, and low economic opportunities plus a myriad of other bullshit that affects men in a different way than women, like being undesirable, or unnatractive.

SouthernFruit8768 · 2026-02-21T05:54:10+00:00

Just disagree with feminists and White-knight SJWs and boom you are now an incel. Congratulations

AnotherLegendaryAcc · 2026-02-21T12:40:44+00:00

I’m an incel. Not the loaded feminist definition, the actual definition: someone who wants to have relationships and intimacy, but can’t get it.

It started because I am autistic. Neurodivergent. So even in kindergarten, when my peers were playing and socializing, I was just sitting in the corner by myself, not understanding why I was the only kid who couldn’t play with others. The teacher even isolated me further by having me eat at a separate table, away from everyone else.

Then came high school, where people were getting into relationships organically, apart from me. Because I “couldn’t read the signs.” Yeah, because I am autistic.

All the while I say being told left and right by women that it’s all my fault, that women can “sense bad people,” so I was isolated because I “was a bad person and should work on myself to become better.”

All in all, I was victim blamed for being autistic, isolated by teachers, and it given ANY help even when I was obviously depressed and in desperate need of help. Nope, I was just told that I’m a shitty person and deserve my suffering as part of some karmic justice.

At least incels weren’t telling me to off myself and that I’m a waste of space, like the rest of society.

Danstan487 · 2026-02-21T00:00:59+00:00

Its a complex issue for society

Certianly the media scapegoating men as responsible for all the evils of the world and describing them as this creature more dangerous than a wild animal while at the same time stealing everyones money hasn't helped.

This has led to a very different set of beliefs between men and women.

I would also say that millenials and gen z were coddled by parents and led to believe you basically didn't have to do anything to work on social skills and it would all work out.

Repulsive-Pie5856 · 2026-02-21T04:01:57+00:00

Feminization of institutions that lead to being "pro women" > lead to more affirmative actions for women > politics, health, school etc.. This obviously makes also hospitals, psychiatrist more "woman oriented"

Examples of Feminization

School: Less sport, math, physics and more language lessons which makes schools easier for girls
Politics: There are 100+ laws - that have nothing to do with reproduction - that benefit women (e.g. military draft, parental rights etc.)
Jobs: Affirmative Actions (and DEI) makes it harder for (white) men to get jobs, because they are villainized by explaining how privileged they are, while they are not. It's the same what is happening to tall men being avoided by short men because they claim tall men are privileged.
Mental Health: There is much more money going into women problems e.g. women shelters, specialized disorder clinics, women only crisis trauma centers etc.
Hospitals: There are like 5 departments in a hospital that are woman-only (non-reproductive ones counted): Obstetrics and Gynecology, Urogynecology (Female Pelvic Medicine), Breast Cancer, Gynecologic Oncology and I'm sure I forgot some.
Society: Women only parking slots (bigger spaces, better lighting, closer to exits). Women only gyms. Women only clubs (while only men clubs are being sued by feminists).

I'm sure the list goes on and on.

Thats how you become an incel.

And obviously talking about any issues men have.

barkmagician · 2026-02-20T23:13:50+00:00

based on what i observed from my cousins. the only ones of my cousins who became incels are the ones who grew up in singlemother homes. my personal take, and cmiiw, these boys grew up believing women are angels capable of unconditional romantic love as long as you are a gentleman.

New-Distribution6033 · 2026-02-21T03:05:36+00:00

The admission requirements change. Originally, you had to be female, hadn't had sex long enough that you consider yourself clebate, and be so involuntarily.

Eventually the requirement was coed, and somehow has become male exclusive, with women incels calling themselves femcels.

Now, this is not to be confused with people who are celebate by choice. The crazy cat ladies, and the male equivalent, MGTOW.

king_rootin_tootin · 2026-02-21T05:45:57+00:00

Depends on what you mean. If you mean getting called an "incel," the answer is simple: disagree with a feminist on anything. I've seen married men with babies on the way called "incel."

If you mean the weird Internet subculture, well, that comes from guys who yes, have issues and may have been dealt a bad hand finding validation in echo chambers that are not good for anybody.

MeasurementNice295 · 2026-02-21T05:51:24+00:00

Not willingly, that's for sure, it has "Involuntary" in the name for a reason.

Now, how little effort they need to put before you can say that's "on them", can go from "reasonable" to "any possible amount", which is the default opinion from most of society, as it has been shown time and time again.

And don't fool yourself, normies will completely skip seeing it as a societal phenomenom altogether (which is what it has always been, to put it simply), straight to hostilizing and further marginalizing any man who even implies it's not 100% their own fault, saying it's just some extremist "ideology", whatever that means, and that the name itself is something you can only choose to be called by identifying with it, despite the fact that they won't hesitate to call anyone that themselves, anyways, so what gives?

AbysmalDescent · 2026-02-21T08:01:12+00:00

Incel just means involuntarily celibate, and this can be caused by all kinds of mundane reasons such as being a man who believes in gender equality, being a man who waits on affirmative consent, being a man that doesn't approach/escalate first, being a man who is shy or introverted, being a man that is into unpopular hobbies(such a gaming or other nerdy hobbies), being a man that doesn't want to chase women, being a man that doesn't want to game women(or that doesn't want to learn to), being a man that lacks experience, being a man that's awkward, being a man that fears women, etc. It's easy for men to be incels, because all of the effort and expectations are placed on men in dating. Men are incels because of what is expected of them, and isn't expected of women.

LifeIsBetterDrunk · 2026-02-21T01:24:10+00:00

Autism

FalconGK81 · 2026-02-21T01:50:05+00:00

You go outside and yell loudly "I declare INCELLLLLLLLL!"

You can't just say it though, you have to declare it.

PuzzleheadedTune550 · 2026-02-21T05:13:44+00:00

It starts with the genetic lottery. Nutrition in childhood and puberty can also play a role.

Fun-Sell-1592 · 2026-02-21T09:25:40+00:00

Simple,

Become a good guy and talk to the first person you meet online, then you'll become an incel.

Society says they want good men but really don't.

SqweegieClean · 2026-02-21T01:50:32+00:00

I think a lot of men have decided to check out because we want to be happy for any reason that doesn’t revolve around what others expect from us. To some, actually to MANY, that alone makes you an incel. Simply because you won’t succumb to what they expect from you.

TextDependent6779 · 2026-02-21T06:03:09+00:00

Believing in equality, apparently.

Qantourisc · 2026-02-21T10:59:04+00:00

Depends on what definition of "incel" you use. You might want to specify that.

NCC-1701-1 · 2026-02-20T23:23:40+00:00

Define it first. I have been called it as an insult but it has become the handy dandy perjorative so I dont think it means involuntary celibate anymore.

GreatBayTemple · 2026-02-21T03:19:41+00:00

Technically when you decide you are one. Its a self identifying trait. People "knowing" or establishing markers of what they agree an incel is later became a thing to target people that fit the description. Often as a quick insult to men they don't want that chase after them. It eventually became an insult to any man women don't like, REGARDLESS of a man's relationship status. Its better to ask incels within the circle of incels than ask people outside. Fairly interesting terminology came from there.

WackyConundrum · 2026-02-21T10:00:47+00:00

O refuse to believe OP account is legitimate. Every post is construed to farm karma. What for? Good question...

Tripp_583 · 2026-02-21T01:50:23+00:00

I am a former incel, happy to answer any questions you might have

javerthugo · 2026-02-21T04:15:22+00:00

Breaking rules 1 and 2.

KingPickett · 2026-02-21T18:47:58+00:00

Be a good, kind man. That’s literally all there is to it.

Coronatum · 2026-02-22T03:21:49+00:00

I can't even understand what you are asking. Modern woMen are sharing since a young teenage age and its been made easier via smartphones. You become an incel(sexless loser) by not being picked. Rejected multiple times in middle and high school until you become know as the creep and you will get no matches on dating apps. There is nothing you do wrong.

Ericridge · 2026-02-22T08:26:10+00:00

Some of other people explained correctly so I won't bother repeating what they said but they also neglected to mention this.

All you have to do is be unattractive enough that women will never pick you. Feminists love to harp on that its a patriarchy society but in truth its not. Most of the time men have to initiate and then from there on, its all up to women to reciprocate or not. You can be perfectly normal and average and still be unable to get anywhere with women just cuz they think you're not hot enough.

Earliest signs that one might be a incel is if he can't attract women in high school. Latest signs is by graduation of high school so maybe 22 at latest.

Its what I gather from researching.

SqweegieClean · 2026-02-22T11:52:28+00:00

Always found it funny how some women’s favorite insult is incel. As if how much sex you have dictates your worth. Oh wait? Isn’t that what you’re fighting against. Way to expose yourself in hypocrisy once again. It’s all talking out of both sides of the mouth.

AskTight7295 · 2026-02-23T23:57:53+00:00

By believing that if you aren’t having sex you aren’t fulfilled. Oddly enough plenty of people who do have sex are just as unfulfilled. Even stranger (to people obsessed with this), some of us don’t even want sex or don’t even find it defining of who we are in any way.

cupcakebuffette · 2026-02-24T11:09:13+00:00

Stop changing the definition of incel. It means involuntarily celibate. Factors outside of one’s own control.

grump63 · 2026-02-24T14:01:15+00:00

Most of the guys called incels are just peace bros. They'll get called emotionally unavailable while ironically having their emotions in equilibrium.

Long term the issue is that its a selfish lifestyle categorized with diligent work life, self improvement, and otherwise relaxing. You'll neurologically adapt to not needing more than a night with the boys every now and then if you have no other social outlet.

Njaulv · 2026-02-21T19:34:39+00:00

Being disabled or unable to work and socialize.

WaveApprehensive3253 · 2026-02-21T00:51:42+00:00

Let me ask you a follow up question Maleficent, does this discussion include female incels or femcels as they’re called? Because naturally on forums like this one, people see the male version as more of a projecting boogeyman tactic perpetrated by feminazis, and see said feminazis as embodying being the nerdy, jerky, involuntary celibate, archetype, hence the projecting. Now that isn’t to say that the male version of this archetype doesn’t exist, it’s just that the folks here are more likely to have more stories to tell about the female version.

Joey3155 · 2026-02-21T08:38:08+00:00

Easy you fix the underlying social issues that cause men to give up on society.

kewlaz · 2026-02-21T10:00:50+00:00

Become a reddit mod

Title	How does one become an Incel?
Author	Maleficent-Toe1374
Upvotes	15
Comments	49
Date	February 20, 2026 6:31 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1ra3eqd/how_does_one_become_an_incel/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-does-one-become-an-incel.1573912 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573912

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