I am tired of being a guy in today's society

johnnycarrotheid · 2022-07-28T07:45:03+00:00

Save what you can. For as long as you can. Get out when you can.

👍

ConsiderationOdd2929 · 2022-07-28T08:25:20+00:00

"You do as your told" - I remember that.

My favorite part was seeing the look on my Mom's face when I told her that punching bags only last for 18 years.

Better go get another one.

Skywarriorad · 2022-07-28T07:56:29+00:00

Oh my god, getting talked down to and treated like youre a fucking idiot is damn annoying. I can cook, have for years, last year my sister decided to have me help her cook and she talked to me as if i didnt even know how to turn on the damn stove. Then when i made something both she and my mom acted so surprised and praised me like youd praise a 3 yo on the toilet and it felt so belittling…

Koda1214 · 2022-07-28T07:07:49+00:00

I know what you mean.

I fell out with my wife's aunt about a year after see moved across the road from us. She was getting me to do all various things for her like putting window blinds up on all the windows, replacing the kitchen floor with happened to be completely rotten and continuously dropping hints on all the other stuff she wanted doing.

On top of that she speaks to my son like dirt alot of the time and shows both of us no courteously what's so ever in what she says and in the way she says it.

Any how it got to much and I stopped having anything to do with her.

iamsoulzero · 2022-07-28T07:30:55+00:00

I remember in my old workstation I was the one doing the heavy lifting. It was so annoying.

aerial_coitus · 2022-07-28T06:18:32+00:00

i know the feeling well. me too

rocker12341234 · 2022-07-28T07:38:33+00:00

are you a long lost brother my parents have been hiding from me? i get treated the same way. granted im a 21 year old thats basically given up on everything cause of how ive been treated every single day of my life by my "family" but still.

im constantly blamed for thier fuckups. everythings always my fuckin fault no matter what it is. (legit, the other day my mother backed into a post, apparently thats somehow my fault??? cause i didnt telepathically move the car or the post out the way or some shit???) if they need something im expected to drop everything that second and help em even if its something they could do but theyre too lazy to walk 2 fuckin steps to do, but when i need something serious (i.e. medical attention) its the end of the fuckin world for them to take probably less than a minute out of their day to help.

not to mention, they spent my entire life telling me im nothing but worthless. nothing ive ever done was good enough for them. they didnt organise any of the government shit they as parents are meant to sort out before i left school, then refused to help sort the shit they've cause because of it, out. any time i try to do anything in life (weather it be organising said government shit, trying to organise courses/education that would help me get a job, or just job hunting in general, or whatever else) its never seen as good enough. im still just some worthless failure that them constantly drilling that into me my entire life definitely didn't cause according to them. not to mention now we've moved again but im forced to look after my mother and the dogs because we were "forced" into a story that isnt really accessible for my mother and as such i have to stuff for her, yet im still the worthless one for quote "not getting off my ss to get a job" despite them doing everything in their power to prevent me doing anything in life causing me to basically just give up trying.

like legit to give a few examples, on multiple occasions ive tried to get my ID stuff sorted out so i can join up with an employment agency to try and find work (prefferably in an industry i can actually stand) but any time i needed thier assistance its always "not now im busy" (they were only watching tv) or "i dont have the money now" after wasting a fuck ton of money running up every bill they can, the couple of times ive been asked to come into interviews for jobs, they've complained and bitched the entire time about having to drive me (theyre the ones moved to somewhere with no public transport and refuse to help me sort out my licence), ive gone for a couple machinery tickets before, passed with flying colours, but purposly faffed around and refused to find or order a new birth certificate (since i dont have id or my drivers license) so i could actally get it properly certified (they give you a temporary version of the liscense/ticket you trained for if you pass and you usually get 2 months to go organise ya stuff with the dmv for it to be fully enstated when it comes to machiney).

for context to it all, i have had a job previously. granted it was a few years ago now but i did. i did a paid trainee ship during school at an employment agency, then after graduating they helped me find a job being just a general hand at this outdoor equipment store. i didnt need my id or anything then cause i had my school ids still and i was on thier books. when said job went tits up a year or two later cause they were having financial issues, the employment agency wanted to help me but i needed all my id and stuff because they suddenly realised none of the government shit my parents should have organised before i left school was ever done. also prior to graduating (back when i was still in the traineeship) i finally cracked and ran off to my grandmother (whos still over entitled and self centred but nowhere near as much as my parents, atleast she tried to atleast pretend to give half a fuck about me) cause i was sick of the constant degradation and i was sick of being the family punching bag and being told to take it cause apparently my fathers fucked up past is ground for him to constantly take his anger with everyone and everything else out on me 24/7.

but yea... apparently despite them constantly drilling into my head every day of my life that im worthless, constantly being told nothing i ever try to do is good enough, no matter how much i run after them, no matter the fact they refuse to fix any of thier fuckups theyve caused or take accountability for their actions, and despite the fact i now technically need to be home to avoid my mother falling on her face juggling way too much shit up the stairs, and to look after the dogs since they're unfortunately stuck living on a balcony and therefore need to be taken out to do thier business multiple times a day. im apparently the worst human to ever live, the most worthless pos in existence and its all apparently my fault. yet they still wonder why i avoid them ever chance i get and have anger issues and outbursts of rage... at this point i dont even think ive got the ADHD ive been clinically diagnosed with. im sure at this points its just the perpetually overflowing bottle of pent up anger i have towards them sprewing over 24/7.

soz for the rant... your post was a bit too relatable.

le_flapjack · 2022-07-28T08:37:54+00:00

I'm in my 30s. In middle school I realized being a woman would be much easier. Everyone coddles you and men are expected to be subservient to you. It never gets better.

What I did? Stopped giving a fuck about what women think. Stop serving them. Stop engaging. Never marry. You are the prize and they need you more than you need them.

dw87190 · 2022-07-28T06:04:30+00:00

If a woman doesn't respect you, she doesn't get to ask anything of you. Mothers and female relatives are not exceptions, nor would a partner/spouse be BTW. You don't owe women anything. Don't tell them it's about lack of respect, they already know this, just refuse their orders and tell them the why of it is obvious enough. Stand your ground

xkirbz · 2022-07-28T09:40:41+00:00

This got me thinking of my trip to Germany when I was a kid. We would bring our ie. snacks to the places we visited in Frankfurt. The women in the family picked me out since I was the only male there to carry a heavy backpack that was sagging from all the weight. Really ruined the experience since the backpack was so heavy and always on my mind.

patxiku93 · 2022-07-28T08:21:58+00:00

Save as much as you can and go live by yourself as soon as you can. And if you can cut ties with your family, toxic people are not worth keeping close

Lecomodore · 2022-07-28T12:47:25+00:00

Leave before you turn 20. You can still love them but just leave, even if you have to join the military to get out, do it. Do call and write to them and visit on occasion.

chopper-champ · 2022-07-28T13:03:26+00:00

I'm also 17m and was lucky enough to pick up a manual labour job at 16.

I saved for about 7 months and moved out of my mums, April last year.

Trust me when I tell you that when you don't have to interact with people you don't want to your life will be so peaceful man.

I've not spoken to most of my family for over a year now (most of my family are women who treated me pretty much the same) and I've been so much better off because of it.

Seriously man, living alone is a freeing experience.

dzirian · 2022-07-28T16:37:15+00:00

Almost everyone can relate to this, but you know the drill, as soon as you can afford rent, you know what to do.

Also this goes for both fathers and mothers, you parents don't owe a relationship with you, they have to earn it like everybody else, they just had an earlier chance than everybody else to earn one, but if they didn't, don't feel bad at all cutting them off until they realize they are not entitled to you and they need to respect you to be in your life.

Aedrian87 · 2022-07-29T03:17:55+00:00

Word of advice in case nobody mentioned it to you yet, NEVER tell them your real salary, if pressed, say something about 30% less if you can get away with it while it being credible. Chances are that as soon as you start working, they will try to make you the man of the house just to milk you dry. I fell for that trap when I was just a bit older than you are now.

Most banks won't give you an issue making a separate account for you to save some money in it, and avoid credit cards. It is not unheard of for parents to use their kid's credit for themselves, get them into debt and then just act like it never happened or as if it was payback for raising and feeding them, when to be blunt, we didn't even ask to be born.

AndyBrown65 · 2022-07-28T07:56:05+00:00

Sadly, a lot of women only see men as pack mules to "serve and protect" them.

Next time they want to go shopping, just say no. They will try to manipulate you emotionally by saying "oh, I thought you enjoyed shopping", or "if you come with us, we'll buy you a <insert random item>" (which of course they don't)

Society is gynocentric and that is life Pal, being a man is tough.

I might be trans in denial cause I hate being a guy

Yeah, that is the brainwashing. I assume you don't see your father at all? Has the alienation occurred? ie I assume growing up your mum told you that he doesn't love you, he used to beat me up, he was a drunkard loser etc.

Mate, you are 17 which means it's probably time to give your dad a call and say "is there a spare bed at your house?"

SweetyMcQ · 2022-07-28T12:53:05+00:00

You got less than a year left before you are on your own and dont have to interact with them ever again. Stay strong.

0mnica · 2022-07-28T13:04:54+00:00

Get good grades, get in trade school, make decent money. If you so desire, goto college/university, but you have to have a good plan and a strong desire to learn. There are a lot of degrees that are ... Useless.

Good trades are plumber and electrician, if you like working with wood, carpentry.

I don't recommend just getting a low paying job out of high school.

TerraBranfordFFVI · 2022-07-28T13:32:25+00:00

I'm sorry about that shite OP. To be treated with disrespect about your intellect then be used as a heavy lifting tool is disgusting. I know this sounds extreme but you should temporarily go on a very low calories, carbs, and protein diet with long cardio sessions or even multiple day fasts and lose lot's of muscle mass. Then you actually would end up weaker than the younger women in your family. They'd be forced to do the lifting because you'd be physically incapable. Then when you turn 18 and can afford to get out of that hellhole you can bulk up again and only worry about taking care of yourself and not those parasites.

I'm serious as odd as my post sounds. As a transwoman that managed to lose lot's of muscle mass by diet and cardio before even getting on hrt I can attest that even my cisfemales family members had more muscle than me after 2 months of eating 800-1200 cals with only 25-50% RDV of fats, carbs and protein plus jogging 4 miles 4 times a week.

heeroena · 2022-07-28T13:38:55+00:00

You are 17 when you move out and start living by yourself you will have more freedom to do as you wish and more importantly you will have more control over who gets your time and attention. It gets better. Trust me

Soviet_Viper · 2022-07-28T13:45:14+00:00

Okay dude you are learning the hard lesson that I had to learn. And that is that woman take advantage of good men (aka nice guys), and that ends up being a bag of rocks you drag behind you unless you become an actually strong man and go out on your own and do what you want.

Men are subconsciously seen by woman as resource providers, but even if you haven’t made it in life yet woman will try and use you, regardless of your own happiness (yes even family).

Good news is you are young as hell. Once you can get away, do it, and be your own man.

FappingFop · 2022-07-28T14:57:42+00:00

The adult version of this is when your friends move it is always assumed all of the guys will show up to carry all of the heavy things for the women. The expectation that you will always carry things doesn’t really go away.

Stunning-Cost-5752 · 2022-07-28T15:42:34+00:00

I haven't spoken to my mother in about 4 years, take care of yourself move on when you can, if it's bad enough cut ties to your family you can't change them you can only protect yourself

dzirian · 2022-07-28T16:36:44+00:00

Almost everyone can relate to this, but you know the drill, as soon as you can afford rent, you know what to do.

LiathAnam · 2022-07-28T16:44:16+00:00

Realistically, all you can do is work towards getting out of your household and leaving them in the dust. I joined the military because I didn't see a better or easier option because I didn't want to go into debt. I regret nothing and the military has given me direction and the ability to choose my own life path without worry.

Have you tried sitting down with your mom and explaining how you feel about all of that and that you feel taken advantage of?

OriginalUseristaken · 2022-07-28T17:43:46+00:00

Even as a 17 year old, you don't have to obey your life to them. Just leave when they're on their shopping spree or say no when they want to drag you with them.

Soviet_Viper · 2022-07-28T18:25:33+00:00

I'd like to mention I am 17M and all my life, even now at my age, I have and still am treated like a stupid retarded 2 year old child that is too stupid to understand anything.

That is child abuse. It's good to see that they apparently haven't destroyed your morale and self-esteem.

empire1018 · 2022-07-28T18:28:44+00:00

Advice. Take out whatever amount of loans u got to and move to a college far away in a good paying field. Dont want to be running back to them

Soviet_Viper · 2022-07-28T18:36:43+00:00

My aunt always did this and I stopped visiting when I was 9

Rifter0876 · 2022-07-28T19:16:07+00:00

Make a exit plan. Save all the money you can. Look into loans for college, far away. Then day you turn 18 leave and don't look back is what I would donin your shoes.

jayval90 · 2022-07-28T21:57:13+00:00

I am a guy whose abused and used by women because of how modern society functions today to benefit women.

Isn't that a normal initiating factor for trans people?

Tweapodok33 · 2022-07-28T23:51:21+00:00

The worst part about people like this is that they will never view their own behavior as wrong. The degree of mental gymnastics abusers can do to justify their shitty behavior to themselves is astonishing.

My wife’s father was this type of narcissist. He spent years controlling her and agitating her, to the point where she had to be hospitalized for numerous attempts at self-termination. He did the same to her sisters. Today he has sired three daughters, all adults now, none of whom associate with each other, and yet all of whom have cut him out of their lives. He also has alienated pretty much every member of his extended family.

And yet he is absolutely, 100% convinced that he has never done a single thing wrong. It’s not him, it’s everyone else that’s at fault. He never has and never will look at the common denominator, because in his head it doesn’t exist. He’s the classic “my problem is I’m too nice to everyone and everyone takes advantage of that and takes me for granted and yada yada yada.” It’s as infuriating as it is sad.

sharksville · 2022-07-29T01:05:58+00:00

If my grandmother ever told me to do as I’m told, I’d be having a heated argument with one of my parents. If that old bag is fit enough to go act like a teenage girl who likes shopping and has the energy for it then she dam sure as hell can carry her own dam shopping bags and stop acting like she doesn’t have the energy for that

Chaos92muffin · 2022-07-29T02:28:55+00:00

When they ask you to go out just say no don't give a reason why Just say nah I'm gonna stay home. When they press back you stand your fucking ground.

twisty286 · 2022-07-29T02:57:17+00:00

fuck society im a man and i'll do what i want don't give a shit what y'all say

Soviet_Viper · 2022-07-29T05:08:50+00:00

That sucks man. My mom always makes my brother (15M) carry all the heavy groceries because he is a boy. It’s stupid, and I (16F) am just as capable as helping so I just help carry the heavy things anyway. It’s so shitty how in 2022 we still just see men as provider objects and luggage carriers. That said, get out of there as fast as you can. I’m sure you’re a fully capable person, prove your family wrong if they belittle you and treat you like an idiot.

IndependenceContent6 · 2022-07-28T14:28:12+00:00

OP went into an existential crisis, because he had to carry some bags and his grandma was mean

i_hate_coding_ · 2022-07-28T08:23:58+00:00

Raised by women. My experience exactly.

gckman915 · 2022-07-28T15:10:34+00:00

I feel your pain. I'm the only guy in a family full of women and I'm the only one that went to school and got a career. The only one that showed any ambition. And I always get asked for money because they can't budget shit. I never hear from any of them until they need money.

Without men society would collapse in a day.

RetrogradeIntellekt · 2022-07-28T16:51:28+00:00

The fact that you have to clarify that you're not a trans person in denial tells you everything about the fucked stated of Reddit and the pieces of shit pushing their gender agenda down everyone's throats.

Soviet_Viper · 2022-07-28T11:21:48+00:00

I would stop listening to them completely. How they choose to respond is their problem. If someone doesn't respect you why give them any?

Fearless-Sherbet-223 · 2022-07-28T13:49:50+00:00

Your mom, grandma, and aunt are misandrist and abusive. Hope you get out of there as soon as you can.

ketsa3 · 2022-07-28T15:47:22+00:00

No wonder you're the only man around...

LethalLinguistics · 2022-07-28T23:14:50+00:00

Enjoy traditional women before you meet new age witches.

Soviet_Viper · 2022-07-29T14:39:55+00:00

Wait wait wait so you’re upset that you have to help your family members carry things? Is that it? You feel they disrespect you because they ask you to help them carry things. You think it’s a men’s rights issue that your grandmother needs help carrying stuff. You should move out of the house and be independent and support yourself. Otherwise all your complaints sound like any other teenager who would rather do anything else at the time than help. Also……..your dad literally abandoned your family and you are here bitching about the only ones who remained to take care of you. Got it. Mens rights!!! Yikes

RockAndStoner69 · 2022-07-28T12:49:16+00:00

Get a hold of Child Protective Services. You shouldn't have to carry stuff.

mechajutaro · 2022-07-28T12:02:45+00:00

Our society if rife with prejudices towards and ignorance about men, this is true. I'd encourage you to not dump gasoline on the brushfire, by speaking like this: "Earlier I retalliated to my grandma cause she was like: "OP carries all of this home, we go back to shopping". No one on this planet, regardless of gender, can expect to not be treated like a retard, when he or she acts and speaks like one

MGTOW_and_Bitcoin · 2022-07-28T16:22:56+00:00

Why do you think a lot of guys are identifying as a woman these days?

Not only is life better on easy mode but you have tons of other advantages along with whatever you do you're a strong heroic woman.... lol

L-I-V-I-N- · 2022-07-28T14:50:02+00:00

So you’re low IQ and need to hit the gym? That’s all I got out of this

Soviet_Viper · 2022-07-28T05:45:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Soviet_Viper · 2022-07-28T12:10:20+00:00

You have to think if it worth live with them. If it don't, get a job and leave as soon as you can.

FearlessFly9785 · 2022-07-28T12:19:42+00:00

I can understand but can't relate because I love to do something for my ladies. Ofcourse they ask me and my brother to help them. But it not forced.. sometimes my mother would took heavy bags into house but it would be painful to her because of her shoulder pain so she will call me and ask me to took those into house. And i will do it.. it all for love. They know they can't force us to do something (they don't needed though...) But the smile or the small gestures of gratitude after the work done are enough for me....

NoCommunication5976 · 2022-07-28T13:17:54+00:00

Put a bunch of heavy stuff in their way, or put the stuff you carry in hard to get places. Make them work.

2022-07-28T13:45:24+00:00

Okay dude you are learning the hard lesson that I had to learn. And that is that woman take advantage of good men (aka nice guys), and that ends up being a bag of rocks you drag behind you unless you become an actually strong man and go out on your own and do what you want.

Men are subconsciously seen by woman as resource providers, but even if you haven’t made it in life yet woman will try and use you, regardless of your own happiness (yes even family).

Good news is you are young as hell. Once you can get away, do it, and be your own man.

eatitfatboy · 2022-07-28T14:01:35+00:00

Ah yes, the male pack mule. I was athletic in high school playing sports and what not but also had a part time job at the fast food joint famous for giving you diarrhea. Whenever it came to unloading truck, reorganizing the boxes, or even getting scary people out of the store- “u/eatitfatboy I need your muscles” mind you I was 16-20 during this time and there were full grown adults working with me. Was happy about being able to help for the first few times. But when it’s just you and the one other guy that works at the store, shit gets old real quick being the go to for any sort of labor. This applied to family too. I’ve always been the one to deal with luggage, carry shopping bags, and essentially break myself in half because im a dude and that’s what we are expected to do. It’s pretty lame but I feel you man.

ImJustHereForCorn · 2022-07-28T14:05:51+00:00

Once you're 18 gtfo of there

AChromaticHeavn · 2022-07-28T15:34:57+00:00

I'm so sorry. Do you have an option of college away from home? Or perhaps to join the military?

Strong-Menu-1852 · 2022-07-28T20:15:59+00:00

Yeah just say no, they need you. If they punish you, sue em

Affectionate-Belt783 · 2022-07-28T20:26:59+00:00

I'd just say "alright" and don't help them.

This is a tactic I use at work to get people to not ask me for help.

baykahn · 2022-07-28T21:48:06+00:00

That sounds awful I’m sorry, you are a person not a carry cart. I would suggest saving every last penny you can. If you ever are allowed to use there cards sometimes at store transaction you can withdrawal cash I would do as little as you can when you can. If you end up packing things away say it’s not the season and want more dresser room etc. sorry if I’m giving unsolicited advice but if not and I can help anyway lmk!

Black---Sun · 2022-07-28T22:44:36+00:00

I think its time to move out man. If you stay they will only make you resentful and you will never develop self confidence or a sense of self. Just go man

iamjaidan · 2022-07-28T23:29:31+00:00

I feel your pain, but I don’t think it is about you being a guy. It’s about your family being jerks. These people strike me as the people who always can conjure a reason why somebody else is better fitted to do work than they are. It’s height or weight or sex or age or whatever they can seize on

2022-07-29T03:36:47+00:00

wait until you get a child and you have to provide for him and the baby mama all their life

shifurc · 2022-07-29T04:21:02+00:00

This is more to do with your age. Move away for at least 10 years.

oafsalot · 2022-07-29T04:38:13+00:00

You're old enough to leave and not look back... They only miss you when you're gone.

Protektor35 · 2022-07-29T07:06:55+00:00

It is NOT traditional gender roles to expect men to do everything for you, especially young men. It is traditional roles to prepare young men to be on their own and independent by the time they are 18. To get out of the parents home and exist on their own. It is NOT traditional gender roles for women to sit on their ass doing nothing and demand your child, a young boy, do everything for you. I don't know how you grew up but if that happened to you it was NOT traditional or normal. The traditional role of parents to prepare their kids to live on their own by the age of 18 and be self sufficient by 18.

This doesn't mean kids sit on their ass doing nothing. It does mean teaching them to sew to repair their own clothes. Teach them how to do laundry properly so they can do their own laundry when they live on their own. Teach them to cook so they can cook for themselves. Teach them to handle money properly and balance a checkbook properly. Teach them how to change a tire, and hundreds of other life skills. It does NOT mean they do all the house hold chores while mom sits on her ass doing nothing.

It sounds very much like your family is mentally and physically abusing you. No abuse is not the exclusive domain of black and blue bruises on your body from being physically smacked around.

Title	I am tired of being a guy in today's society
Author	Soviet_Viper
Upvotes	463
Comments	191
Date	July 28, 2022 5:30 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/wa14m8/i_am_tired_of_being_a_guy_in_todays_society/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-am-tired-of-being-a-guy-in-todays-society.1125422 https://theredarchive.com/post/1125422

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