I might be framed for rape.

rotkohl007 · 2021-11-16T03:40:41+00:00

I would not engage with either one of them in any shape or form. Get your friends and other witnesses on the record that you did not do this -> start building your alibi.

Least_Chemical_7022 · 2021-11-16T06:49:46+00:00

I just have one piece of advice. Don't tell the police anything. They're not on your side. They'll make it seem like they are ,but if they ask you any questions pertaining this, you say that you want a lawyer before discussing it. The lawyer will make sure that you don't screw yourself over saying something stupid that we are all likely to do in a stressful situation.

DerickSFrazer · 2021-11-16T04:49:00+00:00

Never be around them in private again. If they pursue you file a restraining order.

Hollowhowler100 · 2021-11-16T07:06:38+00:00

Do not engage with any of them, If you have roommates tell them so they can be witnesses so if they try to do it with no evidence you are safe. If you go out take a 2 friends so you can be backed up if they say that’s when it happened and do not I repeat do not engage with either, if they attempt to approach say “I’ve heard the rumours I know what your trying to do,fuck off”

istira_balegina · 2021-11-16T08:48:53+00:00

I would go to your uni's Title IX office and ask about resources. Most importantly, name names. You don't have to file an official accusation, although that would be even more helpful, but you should inquire about what resources they may have to help you as a victim.

DO NOT say you're worried about an accusation. Leave that part out. Just talk about the part where you heard they tried to rape you. But verify the rumor first. Make sure it has basis. Otherwise you're the aggressor by ruining their lives based on hearsay.

hmspain · 2021-11-16T04:08:39+00:00

You need to be pro-active not re-active. Your RA is not going to help, you need to approach the college dean (or whatever they are called) and make sure your side of the story is out there first.

Be prepared to have a legal defense. I'm hoping there are pro-bono lawyers willing to defend a 19 year old college student.

froderick · 2021-11-16T07:34:13+00:00

Whom did you hear the rumour from? Someone in your friend group? What connection did this rumour-revealer have with the women in question?

[deleted] · 2021-11-16T11:05:53+00:00

Stay away from both of them.

Do you know what makes someone look more guilty once they have been accused of rape? It's if they went around before telling people not to believe them if they hear that you are a rapist.

It's like being at a party and we're all talking about what we like to cook on a Sunday.. And then I suddenly blurted out ''I didn't kill her, you know''. People won't think I didn't kill someone, they'll be looking around trying to work out who I killed and telling people I'm a psycho.

In general, don't say anything.

Imagine you say ''Amy told me that Sarah said she was planning on accusing me of rape. She told me this when I was at Jacob's party''

Now, Amy denies telling you this, as she doesn't want to get involved.

Now, it turns out Sarah said the rape happened at Jacob's party.

Now you look like you tried to get an alibi (and failed) from Sarah and you've admitted you were at the scene of the alleged crime. They can also infer you were drinking (as it was a party) so you're judgement may have been impaired.

The police generally aren't your friend. It's an adversarial situation.

A friend I know once had the military police investigate him for possession. They came into his room and found some amphetamine. They interviewed him and he didn't say anything. Now you may be wondering what benefit this may have had, they had him bang to rights? Turns out they couldn't justify why they went into his room in the first place. Evidence was inadmissible.

nosemaj-ekcol · 2021-11-16T07:07:44+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Eastuss · 2021-11-16T11:14:50+00:00

gets intoxicated to be taken advantage on

is afraid he'll get charged for rape instead of asking himself if he should press charges.

We live in an utopia

PhilistinesNeedToDie · 2021-11-16T08:08:44+00:00

Any sort of interaction: only via mail/under voice recording

RunawayGrain · 2021-11-16T13:17:39+00:00

Cut contact with the girls. Also if you have a smart phone turn on the GPS tracking. It gives you a log of your activities, so if they claim you were somewhere committing a deed you have some indication that you were elsewhere.

DirtyPartyMan · 2021-11-16T04:28:32+00:00

Wouldn’t hurt to go to a school councilor to have a more official, salaried authority on record

OriginalGreedy · 2021-11-16T06:28:43+00:00

Delete this and contact a lawyer.

InformalCriticism · 2021-11-16T10:13:47+00:00

I know not everyone has this option, but you may want to lawyer up preemptively. Not just any lawyer. One who specializes in false accusations. But, you also need to proactively attempt to catalogue all the evidence surrounding your innocence and pinpoint when/where they might lie about events that didn't occur.

You'll be fine if you are innocent, but you are right, the mere accusation will follow you forever if it lands hard enough. Best you can do is fight uphill, but charge up that hill before the bullets start raining down.

KneeDeepThought · 2021-11-16T13:30:32+00:00

Use your debit or credit card everywhere you go to keep a digital breadcrumb trail proving where you were in case it's needed. Don't be around either of these people ever. If they show up, you dip out immediately. If you can get anyone you know to corroborate your story after talking to these women, have them go with you to the police station and give a sworn statement that can be used with yours to get a restraining order. Then you can have them jailed if they show up at parties looking to drugyou.

You could get a restraining order on your own but with your current evidence it won't stand up before a judge when you appear to defend it. Have some 3rd party pry info out of these girls and help you out.

quantainium_pasta · 2021-11-16T14:56:35+00:00

I heard a disturbing rumour that two girls in my friend group attempted to intoxicate me during a dorm party so I would be inclined to sleep with one of them and then be accused in the morning.

This is the key here. You heard a rumor. From someone else. Apparently multiple people might be aware of this.

Get as many as you can to write down what they heard, sign and date it, and tell you that they are willing to testify if it ever came down to it. Even video record them reading their statement and telling the camera that they are willing to testify. Then, store it in the cloud (give them a copy of their statement, too) and hope you never need to use it.

Rawrtherton · 2021-11-16T16:54:03+00:00

Most schools have a "file first" policy for sexual assault. If you complain to the school first, they assume you are telling the truth and will pounce on whoever you accuse (removing them from the dorm or school entirely until it's figured out).

You have enough evidence to claim attempted rape and complain to the school.

VeteranOfDepression · 2021-11-16T05:01:08+00:00

If they're still talking about it, i recommend filming it if you can. Or any encounter with any of them.

incoming_fusillade · 2021-11-16T11:50:10+00:00

TALK TO A LAWYER. Go to your parents if you have to, take out a loan, do whatever you need to in order to talk to a lawyer. Just ask yourself "what is my freedom and the rest of my life WORTH?" Then the costs don't seem as bad.

DO NOT TALK TO THE POLICE. Say this line EXACTLY: "I have been advised by legal council to envoke my 5th amendment right" thats the only thing you say to any cop or detective, no matter what.

Talk to people, get witnesses. Be careful in this because you're gonna be surprised by people's true colors. Be prepared to have your feelings hurt, because people who haven't experienced this stuff will think you did something. They're not bad, they just don't think that a girl would ever lie like that.

Be smart, don't get bitter. That's the best advice I got. Also, unless you know the person you're talking to, shut the fuck up. Don't discuss this with anyone. Don't put it beyond people to prove you for details so that they can twist you words.

I've seen girls sit on an accusation for over a year. Don't think that it's gone away, it hasn't. Be ready. Prepare.

jesseisonreddit · 2021-11-16T10:32:16+00:00

Collect written statements from witnesses, make sure they sign and date them. Write your own written statement about the events that occurred that night, then sign and date this. Store these in a google drive which has timestamps. Collect evidence, do not delete anything. Do not say a word to anyone in a position of authority, even if you think it might help. Silence is your best friend. If anything does happen, only talk to your family and hire an attorney.

ksaarthak · 2021-11-16T10:49:18+00:00

I would recommend that you get your friends to be your alibis, if they can confirm that nothing happened, if some of your other female friends can be your alibis for that then you are good too. Also, don't come in contact with those girls in any way, no texting or phone calls, nothing.

If they try to confront you, make sure that their are people who are present during the confirmation. If they are actually planning to accuse you, and if they do, you know that you need a lawyer.

I would suggest that you record the conversations, if you have any, with those girls, but I got to know that it is not legal in some countries, so it is your choice...

jackedtradie · 2021-11-16T11:02:03+00:00

Could you record yourself today with proof of the date just explaining the situation?

I think the more evidence you have the better, abs a recording of you saying what you’ve heard and what you think happened can’t hurt right?

If it does come to a court your lawyer will know if that’s useful, and it’s better to have it and not need it then need it and not having it. It’ll take 5 mins

LW_YT · 2021-11-16T11:53:44+00:00

I found myself in a similar situation, not about rape but assault (fake accusation). You should immediately contact a school councilor and explain them the situation ahead, so they'll know already what really might have happened. If you wait until something comes up, it will seem like you wanted to hide it, so trust me, report it ASAP

Crafty-Tackle · 2021-11-16T13:22:40+00:00

Don't have anything further to do with these two, and get your evidence in a line. That said, it is just rumors at this point in time. No need to worry too much until it comes true.

MisterHorus · 2021-11-16T16:45:38+00:00

You should probably talk to law enforcement and get some to side with you somehow

bluesydragon · 2021-11-16T16:48:33+00:00

You can also go to see any on campus therapist or counselor that way if anything they will hav a record of your concerns and may guide u to other resources

oafsalot · 2021-11-16T09:51:31+00:00

Share this with someone in authority at the school and then just stay away and make it known to your 'group' that you're staying away from them because they're trying to hurt you.

shymeeee · 2021-11-16T11:24:44+00:00

Have a consultation with a good attorney. Better early than late.

ContreversialViews22 · 2021-11-16T12:53:41+00:00

Take this to the highest authority in the college/university and go scorched earth on these girls. The fact the idea of falsely accusing a man popped up in their head AND continued on with the idea makes them an automatic enemy and they should be annihilated. My plan would be:

Go to the Head of the university/college and tell them about the rumour
Gather any and all evidence IN WRITING, people might switch up their testimonial from day-to-day
Inform your family and get a lawyer on standby

Dwoodward85 · 2021-11-16T14:08:41+00:00

If it was me I'd do the following:

Cut off contact completely.

Refuse to spend any time with them or their friends.

Either speak to a member of staff at the university whether it be head teacher, tutor etc.

Heck I'd personally even go to the police and make a report that you're hearing people are going to falsely accuse you of rape.

The first one is the most important. Cut off all contact. Don't spend any time with them or anyone in their close circle. I don't hang around women alone at all unless we're dating and that's super rare.

Burple_Baze · 2021-11-16T15:47:20+00:00

I got chills reading that first paragraph, I would stay the fuck away from them

Net_Flux3 · 2021-11-16T15:56:27+00:00

attempted to intoxicate me during a dorm party so I would be inclined to sleep with one of them and then be accused in the morning

Wouldn't it be them trying to rape you in this case? I'm pretty sure it's attempted rape if that's what their intention was. Try and collect any evidence of them trying to get you to have sex with them when drunk if possible first. You can hit them with both defamation and attempted rape/sexual assault charges if they try to set you up.

CrazedKnightCK · 2021-11-16T16:02:27+00:00

Get as much proof as you can. Record and document EVERYTHING.

YOUR LIFE IS DEPENDING ON IT.

yung_goat100 · 2021-11-16T16:45:22+00:00

Start recording audio. It will be of big help. And don’t go out partying if you don’t feel comfortable.

DuneBug · 2021-11-16T17:34:16+00:00

Ignore anyone telling you to go to xyz office/person and tell them. The university is not on your side, the police are not on your side. The only person definitively on your side is an attorney.

You need to make sure you don't hang out with these girls alone anymore. I doubt you can get a friend to buddy system with you, but that's a pretty good idea. Make sure you have your phone with you (gps on) since location tracking can prove you weren't somewhere else.

And if the police ever show up at your door asking questions, tell them you want to talk to a lawyer before speaking with them.

Comprehensive-Ad9069 · 2021-11-17T02:12:51+00:00

I don't drink alcohol for this reason, whether I am framed or just making a stupid decision. If I don't drink, I have control of my mind, and won't make stupid choices.

ThePinkPepper · 2021-11-16T15:38:31+00:00

What do people get out of accusing someone of rape??? Do they get money compensation or something? I dont get it

ArepaCaliente18 · 2021-11-16T05:15:33+00:00

Get a spy cam if you can, and record yourself whenever you go.

Dwaynedibley24601 · 2021-11-16T12:38:37+00:00

Here's how it works on college campuses... you have to get to the Title IX office FIRST! GO NOW! accuse them of getting you drunk and having non-consensual sex with you. GO NOW! then the burden shifts to them.. THEY get moved out of the dorm pending investigation. Find a good friend to back you up. BUT YOU HAVE TO GET THERE FIRST! If they accuse you AFTER you accuse them they look like they are retaliating against you. ALSO, say you no longer feel safe around them and ask for a University no-contact order. Do to them what they want to do to you. He who points the first finger is the victim and entitled to ALL kinds of protections. I work in higher ed.. have for years... I know the system. RUN>> NOW to the Title IX Office.. if they are not open send an email NOW!. save yourself.

1971wasagreatyear · 2021-11-16T16:26:45+00:00

Get an Attorney who fights for men's rights on retainer immediately.

PineapplePrevious438 · 2021-11-16T09:54:18+00:00

Guys go to college in Europe. It’s less expensive and women are not that crazy

OldSamVimes · 2021-11-16T11:44:44+00:00

Falsely accusing someone of rape is as morally reprehensible as raping someone.

hottake_toothache · 2021-11-16T13:55:30+00:00

These are scary time. Protect yourself.

Ddad99 · 2021-11-16T14:25:59+00:00

Do not confide in anyone, either your "friends" (they're probably not going to support you if something goes down because it's too risky) or authority figures beyond your RA.

Do not be alone with a girl, ANY girl. Always have someone else in the room with you.

Have your voice recorder app ready to start. You might even invest in a wearable microphone. Put a surveillance camera in your room. Record your interactions as much as possible.

In short, trust no one. Cover your ass in all circumstances. Look into changing your living arrangements to distance yourself from these poisonous people. Practice situational awareness.

It's very sad that young men have to live like this, but that's the reality.

And women wonder why no one will date them

ballsdeepinasquealer · 2021-11-16T15:05:45+00:00

I think you need to visit r/legaladvice

SirBlankFace · 2021-11-16T17:56:23+00:00

Bro, you're in college, but your future is gonna get ruined before it even started. I don't care if it's just a rumor, i'd start taking precautions now. Get in contact with a lawyer, buy a bodycam/audio device, file a restraining order, get something that'll identify drugs in drinks. Anything that'll save your ass in the long haul.

clocksfornipples · 2021-11-16T10:57:49+00:00

Get a lawyer immediately (ideally a good one) and follow their advice.

Zipdox · 2021-11-16T11:04:43+00:00

Cease and desist letter pronto.

daniellederek · 2021-11-16T11:20:16+00:00

Bodycam, keep meticulous backups, for the rest of uni. And if anyone asks just say it's a social experiment you plan on using the footage for a PhD down the road.

heyyy-kiddo · 2021-11-16T11:23:54+00:00

Talk to a lawyer ASAP and telm him about what you heared and what you can do to twart off false claims.

AdderallAllTheTime3 · 2021-11-16T12:14:49+00:00

start wearing a body cam everywhere in public.

Naru4odo · 2021-11-16T12:30:01+00:00

Start keeping a diary, go back a couple days so as to track your movements

Cool-Studio1841 · 2021-11-16T12:32:01+00:00

If u have proof that the girls started the rumours u have a proper defamation case my guy

Peteyjay · 2021-11-16T12:39:52+00:00

Approach the pair and engage them cordially regarding these rumours. Their reactions alone will clue you in on if the rumour was legitimate.

As it stands also, getting you drunk and then having sex with you is sexual assault/ rape. Can't consent if you're drunk.

Once you've done some fact finding, if you believe there is genuine need for concern, express these to your college heads. Be truthful and sincere.

sohappyred · 2021-11-16T13:52:45+00:00

Tread carefully friend

Reddit_Sux_Hardcore · 2021-11-16T14:06:32+00:00

I have no idea what to do.

Don't associate with those toxic fucks again. Do your own thing. Try not to get involved romantically with people who go to your school.

J3ST3RR · 2021-11-16T14:30:43+00:00

Talk to a lawyer TODAY. Get your friends on the record to defend your alibi and get a copy of it, and make sure they get copies, your lawyer of course will have one. Distancing yourself is good, but just in case anything comes about, you will be glad you took measures to protect yourself.

elebrin · 2021-11-16T15:02:05+00:00

Well, what's done is done, and there isn't a whole lot you can do about what they may or may not be planning until they choose to do it or not.

The only thing you can control is your own behavior. You have been doing some very risky things. My suggestion is to simply stop doing them. Stop sleeping with women you can't trust, stop getting drunk (I would actually suggest you stop drinking altogether), stop going to parties where things like drunken sex happen. Make sure you are never alone with these women, and better yet, make sure you are with 2-3 other guys most of the time and that all of you are sober.

pasta4u · 2021-11-16T15:42:29+00:00

Go talk to a real lawyer. Document as much of the night as possible. Also distance yourself from the women in question

kamitachiraym · 2021-11-16T15:59:39+00:00

Collect evidence, keep creating concrete alibis. If possible, record and keep everything you do at any given time down to even the smallest convenience store receipts as those prove you were at that specific place at a specific time. Get a lawyer, preferably one that's dealt with female rights abusers before even going to cops.

cutegraykitten · 2021-11-16T17:47:46+00:00

Not sure if it’s been mentioned yet, but stay away from alcohol and other substances for a while. You don’t want to take a chance it will have an affect on you to do or say something you regret. Also never let any food or drinks out of sight. If they are really trying to “intoxicate,” there’s no telling what they could do. Definitely talk to a lawyer, not the school or anyone. The attorney will give you impartial advice and be on your side.

TheRealSnifflepus · 2021-11-16T18:13:57+00:00

As someone who was falsely reported to the school officials for harassment, please reach out to a school official. Most universities have a division of student safety or sex safety, having a hard time recalling it now, but after I was reported I met with their office and told them my side and they were able to file a report against my ex.

They can also do investigations and go as far as removing someone from the university. I feel as if the university will hear you out more so than the police

DestructionDestroyer · 2021-11-16T18:46:14+00:00

no way of telling whether or not these rumours are true

That's what your schools Title IX office is for. You don't need to investigate this to determine what has happened, your Title IX office should do that for you. File a report and let them take it from there.

mangokushpacha · 2021-11-16T18:57:18+00:00

Cut contact with them now.

Tychodragon · 2021-11-16T20:20:48+00:00

never talk to the police about these things, without solid evidence they will always take the woman’s side no matter how ridiculous the accusations are.

azaleawhisperer · 2021-11-16T21:06:25+00:00

You can probably get an intiial free consultation with an attorney. Print out his name, etc, make notes, date and intitial. What he says. Keep it forever.

Rinse, repeat. How much to represent you?_

Contact a few attorneys. See if any of them recommend a police report against a possible false accusation.

Remember that Attorneys are in business to make money. There are all spectrum of attorneys: some good, some not.

Make your own written detailed narrative of everything you can remember: u hutime, place, date, names, statements, etc. Sign and date it. For your own information and your privileged communicaion with an attorney. Keep it forever.

Timely kept record, such as this, can be very good evidence in the event of an accusation against you. Now we know these accusations can appear years or decades later.

I am not an attorney. I am a mom.

Zrappzxx · 2021-11-16T21:46:50+00:00

Have you got proof of texts? You might want to get to admit something via text. So it should be ok

dingoperson2 · 2021-11-17T00:42:05+00:00

Send an email to yourself with all the details.

Your consensual sex, your suspicions, why you have your suspicions, your concerns.

This may be a small tilt in your favor if this ever comes up - as it shows that you became aware of this and "explained" yourself in a timely fashion - instead of potentially some time into the future. People somehow believe older and "timely" explanations more than explanations many years later once the accusation has been made.

StudentOfTheTruth0 · 2021-11-17T07:46:20+00:00

Asking everybody here: would it help OP if he was the first to talk to the HR dept or wherever this would become a problem? Kind of pre-emptively talk to them, about his suspicion of getting framed?

I have no idea how these things work, so I thought I would ask. What to you think?

CptKillsteal · 2021-11-17T14:04:32+00:00

I can confirm that just being accused of rape and having to go to court for it has forever changed me. It showed me who were and were not my friends.

michaelpaoli · 2021-11-16T06:51:39+00:00

Rumors ... sounds like somebody hasn't graduated high school yet. :-/

In any case, be cautious. Maybe the rumors are true. You might want to collect evidence, as feasible. If nothin' else, at least note what you (over)heard, when, from who or whatever, etc.

Maybe they're out to get you and scheming something. Or ... rumors ... who the hell knows. Maybe the rumors are absolutely and entirely false, and someone's circulating them to keep you away from either or both of those two women, and to even harm those women's reputations. So, rumors ... might be a source of information ... or of utter sh*t, malice, and destructiveness. Handle with caution. Never presume too much.

doing my best to distance myself from these girls

Why? Be cautious/prudent, sure, but who the hell knows if the rumors are true at all ... or anything but. Might be someone spreadin' sh*t about two innocent women to make them look/sound horrible ... or maybe the rumors are 100% true ... or most anything between, or something completely different. For the most part, you shouldn't act on unsubstantiated rumors. Doesn't mean be stupid or careless ... but don't presume too much.

refraining from any kind of sexual activity with anyone.

Uhm, ... caution is good, but ... maybe wee bit of an overreaction, eh? Not everybody's out to get you. Most people are pretty decent ... but alas, of course, there are some that are decidedly not - and alas, some of 'em sometimes even make it into college - though many of 'em often later flunk out of life - if they don't bomb out of college before that.

So ... and how's the checks on your paranoia level relative to reality? All good there, or have you not fully checked that out? And yeah, sometimes it can be challenging to accurately, well, and objectively tease that apart. And remember, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you. ;-) Who knows, might even be some jerk(s) pokin'/needling at your fears/suspicions and/or paranoia.

kykyshmidt · 2021-11-16T13:11:30+00:00

Maybe you just don't engage in casual sex to protect you from false rape accusations. Maybe asking out on a regular date, get to know the girl without insinuating sex for Minimum 3 months and if you are serious get into a relationship and then have sex. Not engaging in casual sex and just having sex in a serious relationship and having pure intentions is the best way to not get accused of rape. And you already did sth to piss off those girls that's why they are framing you. I would stay 100 yards away from them.

8nt2L8 · 2021-11-16T17:53:30+00:00

Make these manipulative vixens sign a consent form before they get any dick whatsoever. The only way to protect yourself.

GrinningPizza · 2021-11-16T20:33:13+00:00

Get a hidden body cam and audio recorder, keep them on at ALL TIMES.

Title	I might be framed for rape.
Author	nosemaj-ekcol
Upvotes	895
Comments	129
Date	November 16, 2021 3:29 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/quyb7s/i_might_be_framed_for_rape/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-might-be-framed-for-rape.1083856 https://theredarchive.com/post/1083856

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