"Rules" to not be profiled as a rapist.

sibqm_lmvm · 2012-11-08T16:17:16+00:00

she will spend the next minute or two waiting for the elevator alone, eyes frantically skimming the area surrounding her, headphones in, music off and keys jammed between her fingers, ready to attack the next person who invades her space. The elevator will come and she will breathe a huge sigh of relief, hitting the close door button as fast as humanly possible. The sooner she gets home the sooner she feels safer, so be a compassionate person and let her get in the elevator first.

I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF BEING PORTRAYED AS A MOTHERFUCKING VICTIM ALL THE TIME!!!

I DO NOT and WILL NOT live a life full of fear. Caution, yes. Fear, hell no. I am so sick of feminists forcing this idea on to people. The idea that I am a fragile, extremely delicate flower that will have a heart attack if a man so much as glances at me. It pisses me off to no fucking end!

And men aren't gigantic monsters that I should be constantly afraid of! There are some bad ones who will rape you, just like there are bad women who think that fear-mongering is a solution to a problem.

Sorry for all the emotional bullshit. I'm just really fed up with shit like this.

hugolp · 2012-11-08T14:50:24+00:00

It is however true that rape prevention lists and schedules, for example, "don't wear x, don't go out at night, watch your drinks constantly etc". creates the Schrodinger's rapist effect in women and does promote the notion that women should usually be acting in ways to avoid rape.

ErasmusMRA · 2012-11-08T14:34:21+00:00

Maybe do what this man does in the elevator?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRfjLfyXYlA

shoreward · 2012-11-08T14:36:49+00:00

Check out this screenshot of your rules alongside an animal safety site :)

Kuato2012 · 2012-11-08T15:48:44+00:00

It's funny how feminists think "tips" like this are acceptable to discuss. The blatant sexism and over exaggerated sense of victimization based entitlement is staggering.

I'm tempted to re-write this article with violent crime statistics and replace men with black men. Then put it out on /r/feminism as a guide for blacks to not scare whites.

That's perfectly fine right? Nobody would have a problem with it if you changed it to an article telling black men how to not make whites think they're going to rob them.

I mean why can't they be sensitive to being black while I'm trying to walk down a sidewalk while being white?

AnthonyZarat · 2012-11-08T18:13:50+00:00

My comment:

In 2010:

1.27 million men were "forced to penetrate without consent" (80% by women)
1.27 million women were "forcefully penetrated without consent" (94% by men)

http://i.imgur.com/Ps9wW.jpg

It is dishonest and malicious for you to "pretend" that you do not know that male victims of female sexual violence are almost as numerous as female victims of male sexual violence.

It is heartless and cruel for you to "pretend" that you do not know that feminists were responsible for the FBI definition of rape which dismisses and discounts male victims of female violence by requireing that the victim be penetrated by the perpetrator.

It is also deeply hurtful for victims, such as myself, to constantly hear these lies coming from feminists. My assailant was an adult professional feminist with a PhD in women's studies.

A tiny bit of compassion and honesty would go a long way for you.

Pris_RiotsBane · 2012-11-08T18:56:56+00:00

I now see that this same article is found over in the feminism subreddit. ...the comments there are beyond depressing. Apparently as a woman I must be in constant fear of schrödingers rapist, and men are unsympathetic assholes if they don't act a certain way and make up for..actions they haven't committed yet. ...fan.fucking.tastic.

JamesRyder · 2012-11-08T15:34:04+00:00

left a comment that will likely never be approved since she's only going to approve comments that she can "destroy" with replies.

"Okay well,

First off, you’re giving into the endless and unstoppable feminist propaganda train that goes out of its way to fearmonger about rape and violence endlessly. “Acting like a rapist” is such an ill-defined term it actually makes me laugh. A good friend of mine was raped – by a physically fit Doctor with fantastic looks and really no classical motivation to rape whatsoever. Meanwhile, I was arrested for “acting like a rapist” because I walked home through my neighbourhood at night. When I was finally released I was told to “go buy a fucking car and stop creeping people out” by the female officer that arrested me. I have come under fire dozens upon dozens of times for looking the wrong way, being in the wrong place, and generally being not attractive enough, willing enough to drop hundreds of dollars on nicer clothes, willing enough to either hit the gym or get plastic surgery and more just so I can change people’s perceptions on me based off my appearance. I like who I am. It seems to me the women of this world don’t, and the feminists love to exploit that and turn it into fear. The funniest part of the whole thing is that I’m gay. I am actually uninterested in women, and it usually takes my boyfriend and his lawyer dad to come in and rescue me from yet another bigot(like yourself) who decided to blow the rape whistle because we both happen to live in the same area. You are a poison to gender relations and you make every single person who reads this lives harder so you can continue to justify your hatred, paranoia and deep fear and mistrust of men.

Oh, and until you’ve been physically assaulted by a police officer for deciding to read a book in a playground(it was just such a nice day out, and the playground was empty anyway) and had your nose broken, I don’t think I’ll take any response you make seriously, because you likely have far too much privilege to see yourself in a man’s shoes."

Pris_RiotsBane · 2012-11-08T14:41:41+00:00

Oh I love this tid bit.

. This article is not about accusing people of rape. This is about how not to act like a rapist so everyone feels safer in our society. This article has nothing to do with the justice system and formal processes of accusation and the impacts on the accused and the victim. It is about walking down the street at night. That’s all.

How about I not act like a rapist by you know....not raping. Ill meet you at least that far, but i am not going to change my behaviour to suit you. Your phobia about walking down a street at night is your own damn problem.

DavidByron · 2012-11-08T14:47:23+00:00

Rule 1. Don't be male

Rule 2. Be female.

Amunium · 2012-11-08T14:43:02+00:00

One in four women are raped in their lifetime.

Welp. False statistics from the get-go. And let's have a look at the source she provides, shall we?

One out of six men is sexually assaulted at some point in his life.

Right, so even if we accept this, the rate is 25% for women and 17% for men, and that giant difference somehow makes it reasonable for women to assume all men are rapists, and men should accommodate this?

Also:

84 percent of the women knew the men who raped them

So still, even if we accept these blatantly incorrect statistics, that means 16% of rapes are by strange men, translating to 4% of all women at some point in their life experiencing rape by a stranger.

4%. During an average lifespan of more than 70 years. How many men do most women meet during that period? And still it's okay for them to assume that every single one is a rapist, and we should accommodate that fear?

MisakAttack · 2012-11-08T21:05:43+00:00

Late at night, avoid being alone with a woman in enclosed spaces, if possible.

Why? Is she dangerous?

In all seriousness, this article has good intentions, but fails miserably. Don't portray all women as paranoid victims. Don't tell men that they have to follow these insulting rules that seem to suggest that we naturally do "rapey" stuff without realizing it.

actanonverba8 · 2012-11-08T22:05:45+00:00

More "it's a sin to be male" shaming, female supremacy cowshite. Rapists, even if including female and male rapists, are a tiny, tiny, fraction of the population. I'm proud to be a man and I'm not interested in walking on eggshells for anybody. As Stark told Banner in "The Avengers"...... "You're tiptoeing big man. You need to strut."

baskandpurr · 2012-11-08T17:59:53+00:00

We live in a rape culture

Well, maybe cafeaulait13 does. I certainly don't.

2012-11-08T18:10:44+00:00

Another person trying to rationalize their narcissism and prejudice. Look, if you wanna be that way, fine. Just don't expect me to be understanding and sympathetic. I'm not going to go out of my way to act like "less of a rapist" for you, or be nice to you when you decide you want to treat me like a criminal just because of the way I was born (because I sure as fuck know that these people don't treat women this way).

ARedditorCalledQuest · 2012-11-08T19:35:00+00:00

If the answer is no, do everything in your power to label yourself as not a threat.

Apparently I'm always a threat and there's nothing I can do to change that.

Put your headphones in and listen to music.

No. I refuse to lower my situational awareness in a dark scary place just because you might be uncomfortable. My safety is also worth thinking about.

Don’t stare at her.

From the tone of the article, "stare" might be interpreted as "glance at more than once." Again, no. I like knowing exactly where every person and object around me is at all times. That means I might have to look at you. This is how we sight based creatures avoid collisions.

Don’t try to hit on her.

I'll concede this one. If it's a situation that's normally fairly high stress, e.g. a dark street, I won't go out of my way to flirt with you. I will, however, smile and say "hello," because that's what decent people do around here.

Stay out of her personal space.

So long as respecting your personal space doesn't require me to cross the street so you don't think I'm going to rape you.

Yes, there are problems with the Scrhodinger’s rapist piece. Yes, there is a problematic aspect, that it resembles racist arguments. There are a myriad of critiquies of Harding’s piece, but I don’t have the space to dedicate to each aspect of it here.

And yet you base your entire blog on it.

The post was written for men, but mainly for those men of privilege. Men without privilege seem to understand the fear better than straight, white, cis-men.

(emphasis mine) Oh. Well that pretty much explains everything.

Funcuz · 2012-11-08T14:50:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

rightsbot · 2012-11-08T14:14:18+00:00

Post text automatically copied here. (Why?) (Report a problem.)

independence21 · 2012-11-08T16:11:14+00:00

treat people who accept or "helpfully" suggest these rules like the crazy people they are and stay away from them.

Nothing good can come from contact with these people. Just avoid them.

Bobbsen · 2012-11-08T18:54:09+00:00

We want to think of you as a full man, not just an appendix to your manhood.

I like the subtle insults mixed in there; like this one for example.

EpicJ · 2012-11-08T20:46:18+00:00

I went to the feminism post and now am highlighted on /r/WhereAreTheFeminists which is pretty hilarious

EpicJ · 2012-11-09T05:32:52+00:00

So.. waitasec... women like this feel it's totally legitimate to ask me to inconvenience myself (cross the street, wait for the next elevator, whatever else) in order for them to feel more comfortable

And yet they claim I'm the one with the privilege and the "entitlement"?

seriously?

Pris_RiotsBane · 2012-11-08T14:30:51+00:00

Yeah it certainly an agrovating piece to read, epsically since a woman is far more likely to be raped by someone she knows. Yet these rules she lists are for strangers, how does one protect themselves from irrational fear that their father/brother/uncle/cousin might rape them?

Davethe3rd · 2012-11-08T23:47:11+00:00

This is appaling. Yes, I get that rape is a far more real threat to women. But:

If a woman is alone in an elevator at night, let her go

The FUCK? Lady, I've got places to be, you need to just get over yourself and hit "5" for me, would ya?

Paxmagister · 2012-11-09T00:32:41+00:00

This is the same as telling a woman not to dress provocatively if she doesn't want to get raped. It's victim blaming. Of course in this situation, the man is the victim. Granted the "crime" is not as egregious, but it is still psychologically harmful. It tells you that as a man you will always be viewed as a predator and abuser, and trying to follow these rules just imprints it in the mind.

Women fight the "Don't dress like you want to get raped" slogan with vehemence; they are not trying to get raped, and they have a right to dress how they want. Well, as a man, I am not going to rape you, so I am not going to change my actions, the same as you won't change your dress.

johnmarkley · 2012-11-09T02:34:38+00:00

Women can be people who need and deserve the sort of ridiculous coddling from men the author of that article feels entitled to, or they can be people who are mentally competent to be entrusted with grown-up responsibilities like voting and signing contracts and acquiring birth control without a signed permission slip from their husband or their daddy. Not both.

NateExMachina · 2012-11-09T03:19:41+00:00

This was also posted on /r/feminism. As you can imagine, the reception was completely the opposite...

pauldustllah · 2012-11-09T03:27:30+00:00

I really hate to be an asshole however, if someone is so afraid of other people that they have to make a set of rules on how other people should act around them then maybe the person in question should just never leave their place of domicile.

peteroh9 · 2012-11-09T04:49:21+00:00

It seems a bit absurd to me that everyone takes offense at the thought that women would be concerned when they are stuck alone with men, yet the very tips that are often provided for women to try to reduce the risk of rape make almost the same basic assumptions.

PumpkinDevourer · 2012-12-02T23:40:00+00:00

As an abuse victim, a falsely accused rapist, a rape victim, and a man, I can not even begin to express the level or anger I feel when I read an article like this. I couldn't finish it.

There are no articles about the plight of the man who was taught that all women are angels, beautiful creatures who will never hurt you, who was taught to never lay a hand on a woman (even in self defense), who suffered for his ignorance. Our culture perpetuates the myth that all women are innocent, and I had to find out the hard way that there are women out there worse than even the most cartoonish depiction of an evil misogynist a lifetime movie can imagine.

Want people to stop trivializing rape? Then fucking do something about all these women crying wolf. Want men to not become abusive? Then raise awareness about abusive women so we don't end up getting severe emotional problems, trust issues, and subconscious women hating attitudes from the inevitable twisted woman we run into.

Title	"Rules" to not be profiled as a rapist.
Author	Pris_RiotsBane
Upvotes	37
Comments	98
Date	November 8, 2012 2:13 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/12uunk/rules_to_not_be_profiled_as_a_rapist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/rules-to-not-be-profiled-as-a-rapist.1009674 https://theredarchive.com/post/1009674

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