Why do many men lack self worth so much?

Current_Finding_4066 · 2024-09-03T19:11:23+00:00

Maybe because they are told they are bad all the time. Their sex drive is bad. Ther are potential rapist, abusers, violent,... No wonder they feel bad aboutthemy

ElisaSKy · 2024-09-03T19:24:16+00:00

"I know m'en don't get positive reinforcement often but there's gotta be more to it," Well, we also keep getting told, often supported with nothing but lies no less, that we're a problem and a blight on the world. We're not made from wood, and even less from stone, but even then it seems stones can actually break in this place.

Comfortable_Change_6 · 2024-09-03T19:30:08+00:00

Misandry is at an all time high for the past decade

EOD_Bad_Karma · 2024-09-03T19:49:51+00:00

There are a lot of reasons.

But IMO, the biggest reason is that we don't really have a purpose. We have no real direction in life.

You're just told to go "be a man" in the most vaguest sense possible. Meanwhile, women get talked up and put on pedestals their entire lives, men get stepped on in society, are told they are disposable their entire lives and we have to somehow figure out what "being a man" means as adults.

It used to be that a boy would go out, get a job, make enough to support a family working... basically anywhere. Find a woman who liked him back. They would get married 6 months later and then start a family.

That's gone now. Women earn as much or more than men, which is great. But now women earn as much as men and still want to date men that earn more than they do STILL. Same as it ever was.

The American dream is long since dead for the average man. And it wouldn't be so bad if we weren't constantly disrespected for merely existing.

If you've never watched the movie "Fight Club," there are a few quotes from there that hit close to home for men in general. I'll try to quote it off the top of my head, but it's been a while.

"Social media has you chasing jobs that you hate to buy shit you don't want... We have no great war. No great depression to overcome.

Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives."

Imaginary-Comfort712 · 2024-09-03T19:04:54+00:00

I guess it's the repeated experience of being rejected, not valued or not really feeling welcome. By girls, some employers. To a certain degree it's everywhere a little bit (like women have often free entry to discos and men have to pay) and it piles up. It's often little things, but it accumulates. Also more young men than women fail at school. So that's my theory. What do you think?

Ok-Sea-870 · 2024-09-03T19:11:35+00:00

Society now absolutely hate men, young especially not stoned for don't feel it. See on Ukraine. In Kyiv in reality if you're young men only work for you it's death in war, because government now welcomed migrants to many jobs.

Remarkable-Rate-9688 · 2024-09-03T19:33:21+00:00

They lack self worth because they are discriminated against whereas women are treated more leniently. Women may be gotten mad at but usually they are treated more leniently. Just think about police rules. The women gets a lighter sentence for the same crime. Think of Brian banks. A woman accused him of raping and he was sent to jail for 4-5 years until proven innocent whereas the girl got away. Also, female victims are taken a lot more seriously than male victims. Last time I checked, in titanic accident, women got to rescue themselves first and then men. Now in your case, abusive parents are mean with anyone regardless of sex. It could also be, they are addicted to drugs or alcohol. Seriously though, men are expected to be tough. If I was told that instead of being helped, I would act the same way too

InternalDisaster1567 · 2024-09-03T20:19:18+00:00

Because society tells men they’re useless and nobody loves them for who they are but just for what they can do for these people

Zuke88 · 2024-09-03T20:29:26+00:00

*gestures vaguely at everything*

adolftickler0 · 2024-09-03T19:55:15+00:00

Because we all know we are on our own at the end. Not even our kids love us enough to sacrifice anything for us.

Lyon_King02 · 2024-09-03T20:12:23+00:00

Because we’re seen as a problem to society rather than one of society’s most valuable assets

LonesomeLoneStar · 2024-09-03T21:04:52+00:00

I've said it for years. It's because society tears men down while building women up. I see very few men with delusional thoughts of how attractive they are. A lot of women that are average think they're 10s. I'm 35 live with a roommate do I feel like an adult? No. Why? Because I feel like if you're a 30 plus year old man you should be able to afford living by yourself. I can't though so that brings me down makes me feel like a loser failure....

Conscious_Luck1256 · 2024-09-03T20:20:25+00:00

being a man feels like being a second class citizen to me, no joke

Applehurst14 · 2024-09-03T21:50:50+00:00

Raised by single mothers.

Educated by bitter boss chicks.

Woke scolded by blue hair feminists.

ABBucsfan · 2024-09-03T19:05:06+00:00

I believe you will find plenty of supporting info about you g people in general struggling more with mental health. We are so connected by devices but have less personal connection. I would say guys often have less support and pressure to keep it to yourself

HyakuBikki · 2024-09-03T20:21:07+00:00

Simply put it, I was never made to feel like I was welcome anywhere as a kid, and I still struggle to find where I belong to this day.

PriorityAsleep2193 · 2024-09-03T19:47:53+00:00

Men lack purpose, their traditional roles have nearly vanished and they've been told their biological predisposition towards doing certain activities (better) are no longer necessary or can be performed by the opposite sex, or by a cheaper worker overseas, or by a machine, or a sex toy.

Men know that the property market is screwed and that Al Bundy, the shoe salesman, will have been "better off" overall than they'll be in relative terms.

Add in rejection and ridicule by the opposite sex, poor outcomes of marriage and divorce, the belief in black pill theory of dating and mating (attractiveness is No 1 predictor of any success, and is something you can't really change) and you can see why men in their 20s and 30s will probably not have the greatest self esteem.

TheHouseSomalian · 2024-09-03T20:33:19+00:00

The problem is that society teaches us that self worth is conditional - oh you are athlete, great! Society values that! Self esteem points for you. Oh, you have a rich daddy and ride around his Ferrari! Society values that so more self esteem points for you! Oh, you have a job in finance….blah blah blah

The problem with making yourself worth conditional on external achievements or even physical qualities (height, hair, muscle build) is that any of these things can change thus making you vulnerable. Your fortunes may change and you can lose your social status or cushy job. You can get injured and no longer be athletic or play sports. You get a bad disease and lose muscle mass and your hair.

If self esteem is conditional it goes in the trash along with your achievements and physical attributes. It’s best to just decide to give yourself self worth and self esteem, especially when you are not winning. Everyone can feel good about themselves when they are winning. Not particularly hard actually. But it’s when you are losing when loving and valuing yourself counts the most.

There is no magic bullet. It’s just a decision you have to make. No amount of blaming your circumstances, your parents, your middle school bully, etc will make a difference until you make a decision to be worthwhile.

dudester3 · 2024-09-03T20:50:05+00:00

It's tough to overcome a neglected or abusive past. Greeks taught morality and virtue inculcated via example, mentors and practice. Find good men who can provide the mentoring and example.

With the demise of the Silent Generation, hard to find that anymore. Welcome the hard times; they'll make you better so YOU can be the mentor.

One-Giraffe1614 · 2024-09-04T03:53:55+00:00

Coz only the Bad side of Men are being portrayed -
R@pists
Murderers
"We Don't Need Men"
"Men are Losers"

But the Reality is Women need Men much more than Men need Women.
Women can't do much as a Man
But Men can do anything that a Women can do, except Child Birth(Only area where Women outperforms Men)

See the Data -
86% of Powerful Position Holders are Men that also with Merit(Unlike Reservation of Women)
98.% of CEOs are Men
96% of Alimony & Maintenance Payers are Men
76% of Income Tax is Paid by Man
85% of Military are men
98.5% of Construction Workers are men
92.1% of Fire Fighters are men
90.9% of Pilots are men
82.2% of Farmers are men
90.3% of LandScapers are men
99% of Carpenters are men
79.5% of Inventions are made by men
83.2% of Police Officers are men
91.2% of Fishermen are men
96.8% of Rough Neck Workers are men (responsible for manual labour tasks such as drilling, pipefitting and operating machinery.)
98.27% of Electricians are men

Then they Complain Patriarchy.
In Reality Patriarchy built the Things they can't Live without - Internet, Electricity, Electronics, House, Roads, Transportation, Cosmetics, Dresses, Telecom, Furniture, everything is Built by a Man.

If it was Matriarchy,
We would've been living in Forest making Veg Sandwiches (Only Veg Sandwiches, coz Women can't even Hunt as Well 💀)

nvpc-1990 · 2024-09-03T21:18:12+00:00

Because they listen to modern day propaganda and modern wemen, pick up history books and learn! Who built this world?????????? Its laughable the nonsense they try to ram down your troat

Sitheral · 2024-09-04T04:53:37+00:00

Because on average they don't get anywhere near as much support and encouragement as womans.

BrawnyStele · 2024-09-03T23:56:16+00:00

This gyno-centric society tells them all the time that they are:

either rapists,

Or useless,

Either violent,

Be lazy

Be idiots,

in short, nothing motivating especially when we know who is uttering these insults...

Masypha · 2024-09-04T03:15:04+00:00

We're not valued... So as much as we try staying positive, over time we just adapt to survive.

Worldliness_Old_28 · 2024-09-04T04:06:08+00:00

Lack of proper role models. Media glorifies losers or athletes, not your common man with his struggles trying to make a living and raise a family. These are your heroes, and until the time they are not glorified, men will continue to get weaker by the generation. Also, our loser education system is a big culprit.

HunterRenegade09 · 2024-09-04T05:54:49+00:00

Because that's how we are brought up. Not just by parents but society as a whole. Your value is determined by how much better you are than your peers.

By definition that makes majority of the men worthless. I say this and know this. But still I feel that way. That's how I have been brought up. That's how most of my generation has been brought up.

disappointing-trash · 2024-09-03T21:30:41+00:00

I wish I knew...

RealStarkey · 2024-09-03T23:55:03+00:00

Decades of being told you are inherently a monster may have something to do with it.

As well as media who bombards you with the message that a “real man” is one who is controlled through sex.

Illchangeitlater- · 2024-09-04T03:44:52+00:00

You know, in that movie, The Incredibles, when Syndrome says, "If everyone is super, then no one is super," that is why. We have celebrated everything to the point that nothing is special.

Space_Exploring7_6 · 2024-09-04T07:14:02+00:00

Well, you've said it yourself... Lack of positive reinforcement from every single entity in these feminist societies. This starts from the very bottom, from mother, lack of biological fathers, and from school.

I am a teacher, and I see it on a daily basis. How girls are motivated, cherished, and uplifted, and how boys are discarded as dead weight. This, of course, is purposefully done. Social engineering, some call it.

Or check any movie, series or reading material thrown at us every single minute of the day, where women always have the last answer, the better answer, the correct one, are in charge, in leading position, secondary position, supervising, checking, and correcting, and a very long and subtle etcetera.

And believe or not, if you hammer these subtleties long enough, you actually reprogram a person. But boys have never been programmed to begin with. So, it's just much easier. Fathers have been erased from their lives. "Your father is the one that has raised you", they say, but "There is your biological mother, and then there is the other", they say. There is no one to teach them, to lead them, to guide them, to protect them from this feminist, matriarchal socities raising from West.

And last, we men have become our worst enemy. They have turned us into their dogs. Have you ever seen any video where any random girl, for assaulting a boy, would only receive praise, whereas the boy, for defending himself, would be lynched by his own fellow men? Or even military training videos, training in which you are expected to excel in combat, where men are being verbally abused for defeating women?

All of this is being bombarded on boys on a too regular basis. The outcome, among many other things, is lack of faith on oneself.

Delvilchamito · 2024-09-03T22:46:48+00:00

we are like dogs, locked up in houses when we should be out in the open, not killing each other for a job in the office or locked up in a car for 2 hours every day, shuffling around in a car shuffling around in the luck of dying.

JDMWeeb · 2024-09-03T23:54:36+00:00

For me it's emotions. I was constantly put down and belittled for talking about my feelings and meoyions

veganzomby · 2024-09-04T01:39:11+00:00

If you have not seen already I suggest to watch the interview of Robert Bly with Bill Moyers A Gathering of Men, you will get all the answers, reading the book is better after that, simplest answer is we lost touch with our fathers and grand fathers, not being around a father can never be replaced by even the most loving mother or the most beautiful girl friend or wife.

Exciting-Leg-4336 · 2024-09-04T01:53:00+00:00

Because they don’t have their seed in their body. That’s why men start balding in their 20s and can’t look women in the eyes

SulkTv999 · 2024-09-04T02:03:39+00:00

I think its because weve been gaslighted and guilted into serving other people instead of helping ourselves. I mean, we live in a zeitgeist where if men are not of servitude, then we are mistreated.

Love_on_you0422 · 2024-09-04T05:16:57+00:00

because we are worthless

BuyOk5222 · 2024-09-04T07:48:16+00:00

Because men are told the only worth they have is if they’re a slave or rich.

Few_Ad_5119 · 2024-09-04T09:42:20+00:00

Really want to know? Try to say anything positive about men online.

You'll find out quick.

Bennys-Basement-1998 · 2024-09-04T10:48:55+00:00

I don’t think they were taught, like prior generations, that it needs to come from within. They’re looking for validation in the places that women typically get it (dating apps, social media, etc) and of course they’re not going to get the likes a girl in a bikini will. Someone needs to teach guys that self-worth is SELF-worth, not everyone else’s worth. Don’t be proud because society made you feel good, be proud because you actually did something to make yourself feel good

antifeminist3 · 2024-09-04T21:12:02+00:00

'Men should respect women'

This advocates for a rules that men respect women. The rule applies to men. The rules does not apply to anyone who is not a man. So this means there is no rule that women respect men.

'Men should respect women' discriminates.

fatpigredneck · 2024-09-05T02:26:17+00:00

Because we live in a world where a boy's penis is mutilated days after he's born.

Then, he grows up in a culture that favors girls because of "privilege" and grinds him down.

When puberty starts, he's told that his sex drive is "toxic" and pushed towards feminine ideals and values. If he doesn't comply, he's demonized and shunned.

As an adult, he learns that his value and worth can only come when a woman chooses him--and that only happens if he has certain features and access to currency.

In the workplace, he's put behind women on priority for training and job placement.

Then, in his old age, he's told that he's past his prime, as his youth and power are gone.

Start there.

Brilliant-Relation72 · 2024-09-05T05:06:35+00:00

If you want to fix this, start giving people shit when they say misandristic things.

wildzwiebel · 2024-09-05T10:35:19+00:00

I thought we lacked empathy? Or was it Money? I can’t remember now lol

Ok-Yogurtcloset7394 · 2024-09-06T02:47:44+00:00

pretty much because society continously screams in their face that they are not good enough.

RacinRandy83x · 2024-09-04T02:01:01+00:00

Generally trauma in your childhood leads to low self worth.

MrAnonPoster · 2024-09-03T20:23:37+00:00

Lack of any or all.of the following:

Money - they are broke or barely scrapping by
Muscle - dudes look like Homer Simpsons or worms from men and black
Social status - no one cares about your reddit karma or your super cool avatar
Boring life

bavcccccuppp · 2024-09-04T06:28:52+00:00

the false notions of masculinity which are largely unattainable by the greater demographic leads to inadequacy

kostas1410 · 2024-09-03T19:49:32+00:00

Sadly cause of too much masturbation

Title	Why do many men lack self worth so much?
Author	focusonthepostplz
Upvotes	177
Comments	79
Date	September 3, 2024 6:40 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1f87otp/why_do_many_men_lack_self_worth_so_much/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-do-many-men-lack-self-worth-so-much.1529277 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529277

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