CMV: Objectively if one does not know their partner is cheating, ignorance is bliss. Conversely if they find out, this revelation is beneficial. Change this view.

autistic_cool_kid · 2026-03-28T12:51:09+00:00

I personally love living in truth and honesty and expect that from my partner

prettywords_ · 2026-03-28T12:47:32+00:00

The one being cheated on doesn't know they're being potentially exposed to STDs. If they vet one they might not even seek treatment right away since they don't realize it's a possibility.

mandoa_sky · 2026-03-28T12:50:21+00:00

STDs - mostly an annoyance but can be fatal.

just look at the whole Bill and Miranda Gates stuff

FineDevelopment00 · 2026-03-28T12:59:32+00:00

if one does not know their partner is cheating, ignorance is bliss.
an individual can enjoy the entirety of a relationship totally unaware, and how they view their relationship never changes.

STD risk aside, oftentimes in that situation the betrayed person instinctively knows something isn't right but can't quite put their finger on it. So it isn't exactly true that their perception of the relationship doesn't change; they just don't always know why it has changed. But the unease is nonetheless there.

Right up to the end of the relationship and even beyond.

I know many if not most here won't agree with me on this, but I believe in an afterlife and I believe all will be revealed in that afterlife. So even if the betrayed person never finds out they've been betrayed while they're still in this world, they will find it out in the next. Nothing shall remain hidden forever.

Conversely if one finds out their partner is cheating, this information is beneficial. Towards making better informed decisions moving forward.

Can't argue with ya there!

NoBlacksmith8137 · 2026-03-28T12:54:47+00:00

What do you think? If people are offered this choice: would you rather live

A) In a relationship but it’s a “happy lie”
B) Single but at least nobody is lying to you

What do you think most people would choose? I think people who choose the “happy lie” are mostly inexperienced people who romanticise relationships.

I was cheated on in my first 2 serious relationships. I would never ever choose scenario A anymore, ignorance isn’t bliss to me. Especially now because I’m very much aware that even when I’m with someone it could be possible there’s always something going on I’m unaware of, so I never even live in this blissful state of ignorance anymore. I just know it’s a possible reality my partner is cheating on me now. I deliberately choose to trust my partners and to not assume they are. But I know it’s possible.

wolf2424b · 2026-03-28T13:02:58+00:00

If you are in a long term live-in relationship, it's essentially impossible to conceal infidelity in the long run. Yes, you can get away with the occasional fling, but if you have a long term affair partner, eventually the odds will catch up with you.

Either someone will see you with your affair partner; or you will tell a lie which doesn't add up; or your partner will happen upon some piece of evidence which contradicts something you said; etc.

When people get away with long term infidelity, it's generally because their partner is otherwise happy with the relationship and would rather pretend that the infidelity is not taking place.

In those situations, yeah, ignorance is bliss. And learning about the infidelity is NOT beneficial. The person already knows about it. Learning about it means being confronted with a situation which makes it impossible to pretend that it's not happening.

KayRay1994 · 2026-03-28T13:19:57+00:00

“Objectively” is not a cop out phrase here. You’re still actively lying to someone and breaking their trust. This is basically an intellectualised of saying “if nobody finds out, the crime wasn’t committed”

Which…. You still cheated, you’re still hiding the truth, you still acted with indifference towards harm (or at least with little regard for your partner’s feelings) and acted with no integrity.

Throwing ‘objectively’ on front of stuff doesn’t remove the potential of harm or even intent of actions, which… even if your partner never ever finds out, it speaks volumes on your conscience and what you value to say “I prefer the sanctity of my own happiness over my partner making an informed decision for themselves based on my behavior” - and I’ll flat out be bluntly judgy, that’s a horrible way to view a relationship because it also tells us this: you’re willing to hide stuff from your partner, ergo making you ‘objectively’ untrustworthy

kevkaneki · 2026-03-28T13:20:53+00:00

Ignorance may be bliss, but bliss is not necessarily the optimal state of being.

There are many things more valuable or important than simply being in a state of ignorant bliss. If we value our agency and actually have the ability to change the situation, then the optimal state to be is informed so that we can go and do something about it. However, there are some contexts and scenarios where the opposite is true.

Consider a man on his death bed who will die within 3 months. His wife has been having an affair for years but he is blissfully unaware of this fact. In this case, would it really be beneficial for the man to find out about the affair?

He can’t do anything about it at this point and telling him isn’t going to make his life any better. He is going to die soon regardless. The only difference is whether he dies happy and unaware, or alone feeling miserable and betrayed.

MarioWilson122 · 2026-03-29T04:27:42+00:00

It is not objective though. It is only bliss in the sense that the person feels better while being unaware, but that does not mean it is actually better for them overall. They are still being lied to, still making decisions based on false information, and still losing time in a relationship they would probably see very differently if they knew the truth. So it is more like temporary comfort through ignorance, not some objective good. Once you factor in wasted time, health risks, dignity, and the ability to make informed choices, then not knowing is clearly not just “bliss.” It only looks like bliss if you reduce everything down to how the person feels in the moment.

davidmetty · 2026-04-01T23:06:36+00:00

Imagine performing oral sex on a woman who earlier that day had sex with another man.

Ignorance is bliss until he gets an incurable STI from his partner.

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Altruistic_Look_7868 · 2026-03-28T13:02:48+00:00

Ignorance is not bliss, just delayed hurt and compounding loss. Imagine having a child with a cheating partner or finding out you've contracted some sort of STD from them.

Lumpy_Plant6914 · 2026-03-28T14:53:08+00:00

Ignorance isn't bliss, it is destructive. It means you have sloppy intentions and motivations, and are unable to be honest with yourself and take responsibility. Does it change anything? The issue is that by not growing, you build a relationship on sand, instead of on steady ground. You build decline into the relationship, instead of removing it.

Cheating is being fine with instability, and when you are confronted by your own actions (you 'know' you cheated) instead of improving your relationship or grow as a person, you are satisfied with having an issue that is eroding your relationship's potential, and your own accountability - and support the decline.

If you mean not knowing about your cancer is bliss, then yes. Though then you also can't heal it, be more healthy, active and more symptom-free.

And when you say it is beneficial that your partner finds out, without you admitting to it or being honest - NO, absolutely not. It is double the problem, and double the pain. That isn't beneficial, it is ignoring an issue to the point where it blows up, instead of tackling it early. Break your foot, and keep running on it, will ruin your foot much more, than if you try to deal with it early.

P1anth0 · 2026-03-28T19:45:02+00:00

You don’t want your view changed:

.. Most cheaters don’t just cheat then act like perfect partners because infidelity is often accompanied by a pattern of abusive behaviors.. blame shifting, deception and misplaced anger.. you’re view of cheating promotes a fantasy that excuses abuse.. And people who cheat once have a very high likelihood of doing it again so it’s unlikely a one off behavior.. YOU are creating a fantasy about infidelity which largely doesn’t exist..

Ignorance isn’t always blissful..

Present-Afternoon-70 · 2026-03-28T20:32:22+00:00

CMV Response (Pressure Model Framing)

You’re treating this like a clean split between experience (ignorance) and decision quality (knowledge), but that only works if the relationship is static. It isn’t. It’s a pressure system.

In your model:

Ignorance = stable experience

Knowledge = disruptive but useful

What you’re missing is that pressure doesn’t disappear just because it isn’t perceived.

If a partner is cheating, the system is already under load:

behavioral inconsistencies

attention misallocation

emotional leakage

broken feedback loops

That all still enters the system whether you consciously label it or not.

So what you’re calling “bliss” is actually:

unresolved pressure without a label

Which is one of the worst states a system can be in, because:

you can’t respond correctly

you can’t adapt

you can’t even identify the source

You’re not stable. You’re just misreading the signals.

Now look at the “finding out” side.

Yes, knowledge spikes pressure:

emotional shock (I increase)

potential rigidity (L increase)

temporary destabilization

But it also does something critical:

it aligns perception with reality

That’s the only condition where meaningful adaptation (A) is possible.

Without that alignment:

you continue investing in a false system

you reinforce the wrong behaviors

you compound long-term instability

The real distinction isn’t:

ignorance = good / knowledge = good

It’s:

Ignorance = hidden pressure + no response capacity Knowledge = visible pressure + possible adaptation

And here’s the key failure in your view:

You’re evaluating ignorance at t₀ (right now) and knowledge at t₁ (moment of discovery)

That’s not a fair comparison.

If you extend both over time:

Ignorance trends toward misalignment → collapse without clarity

Knowledge trends toward instability → reconfiguration → resolution (or exit)

So no, ignorance isn’t bliss.

It’s:

pressure accumulation without visibility

And that’s exactly how systems fail.

Theawkwardmochi · 2026-04-03T14:26:44+00:00

I think it's a very complicated matter and it's difficult to think in absolutes here and be correct.

Say you cheated. Thought the relationship is failing, had a massive error in judgement, temporary amnesia, took desire for love, capitalism made you do it, you got drugged by frisky fairies, whatever. But you did it and you deeply regret it.

You think coming clear to your spouse would end the relationship so you make a decision to live a lie. And you live a whole life together and you never stray again. You live with creeping guilt, which makes you treat your spouse like a queen/king. They never find out.

Have they lived an objectively happy life? I would guess yes. Is their happiness less valid because they didn't know that vital piece of information kept from them? I don't think so.

And finally, if they didn't know for 20 years after the fact and find out 30 years into the marriage, will that revelation be beneficial and make their life better - or the opposite?

Or let's take a different scenario: you're contemplating leaving your partner but you decide to stay because you think they're faithful and you feel sorry for them. But what you don't know is that they're not faithful in the slightest. So you make a decision based on a false input, and that decision doesn't make you any happier. Is ignorance really bliss then?

I'm not encouraging anyone to cheat and keep it hush hush. Nor encouraging anyone to cheat and tell. I'd actually rather people didn't cheat at each other at all. I'm just saying that ignorance is not always bliss and finding out is not always beneficial.

TheRedPillRipper · 2026-04-03T20:09:18+00:00

you did it

you make a decision to live a lie

they lived an objectively happy life

These are all black and white outcomes. As is;

you decide to stay

will that revelation be beneficial

The primary reason breaking this issue absolutes are beneficial is because it establishes an objective range between two opposite outcomes. For instance objectively if an individual is unaware of the infidelity? As in your first example, they literally will continue on as if nothing happened changed.

Conversely the only point when things do change is at the point of revelation. Which empowers better informed decision making. Unless you think better informed decision is not beneficial?

Title	CMV: Objectively if one does not know their partner is cheating, ignorance is bliss. Conversely if they find out, this revelation is beneficial. Change this view.
Author	TheRedPillRipper
Upvotes	0
Comments	60
Date	March 28, 2026 12:44 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1s5zd8e/cmv_objectively_if_one_does_not_know_their/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-objectively-if-one-does-not-know-their-partner.1576580 https://theredarchive.com/post/1576580

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