Do men and women hate themselves differently?

camelliafleur · 2017-04-25T16:29:25+00:00

There are several studies suggesting that men have a tendency to externalize their feelings. Men are more likely to fix or solve problems, if they're depressed they'll see alcohol or drugs as the fix to the problem. Women are more likely to look inside themselves and take out any pain they have on themselves. Women internalize it more.

These are just from some studies, I have also worked with a lot of people who have very severe problems, and from personal experience I saw this as well.

locriology · 2017-04-25T17:21:32+00:00

The core belief of the feminist movement is that "Women are disadvantaged, and it's society's fault."

I find it unbelievably hilarious and ironic that this thread is full of women and/or self-proclaimed feminists claiming that men are the ones who externalize blame while women internalize it. This is just classic.

future_space_boobs · 2017-04-25T16:51:11+00:00

most self hatred comes from insecurity, which is an innately human experience. I can tell you from experience that women internalize these feelings ("I'm worthless, why even bother trying? I know I'll just fail again.") whereas from what I've seen men externalize them ("someone/society has made me feel this way.")

you're projecting your own externalisation in your OP.

333i · 2017-04-25T17:34:05+00:00

I really love this question, although I'm ultimately not sure how to answer it. I think the media-consumer-culture machine is designed to make men and women feel inadequate. I think inadequateness is the overlapping bit. This self-hatred is going to surface in varying degrees, for some depression (which is also expressed differently by different people - some are angry, some feel dead) , or anxiety, or both. Now I'll take your word that men cope with drugs more, but Id wager women are more likely to go on a shopping binge. And I also bet that both men and women are binging on food to console themselves. It's really sad to me I feel corporations actively divide and conquer people.
Also, luckily for women, they generally have better emotional support webs, and expressing emotions isn't discouraged, and talk - therapy can literally restructure your brain /improve its health. I think this contributes to suicide gap, amongst many other things.

whichbladeN · 2017-04-25T16:36:28+00:00

It is different than men's typically, more often dealing with feeling inadequate, not good enough, unlovable, unworthy of appreciation.

This line is unclear. Are you saying these are men's feelings or women's feelings?

I suppose to me the answer is still the same. Men and women manifest self loathing for these same reasons. Sure there may be feelings uniquely to most men or women, but not these listed here.

SetConsumes · 2017-04-25T16:43:09+00:00

Men's hatred comes from not fulfilling masculine norms.

Which is why short men are more likely than any other demographic group to commit suicide.

UhKhat · 2017-04-25T19:06:38+00:00

I've experienced self hatred off and on for years. I can only speak from my own female experience. I internalize a lot. I blame myself for everything little thing, feel worthless, like a disappointment to my family and my self. I self harmed as a teenager.

Watching my dad go through depression I have an insight into how a 'typical' man might experience it. It's much more externalized: feeling like they're letting people down, but getting angry at others about it, rather than pushing that anger inwards it goes out. I think men are more prone to hating themselves over failures in success or relationships - women maybe hate themselves for their own personality traits. It's certainly different.

TheBlackQuill · 2017-04-25T19:18:13+00:00

I have been hating myself since I was like what, 5?6? I always feel inferior compared to other people. Women tend to internalize their hatred. But they also think that their weaknesses can only be solved by men. It is sad, really. Personally, I don't think women can ever stop hating themselves. As long as there is weakness there, they will continue hate themselves.

Catcatinm · 2017-04-25T23:08:31+00:00

This post prompted me to go from lurking to posting.

As a dude suffering from serious anxiety, depression, social anxiety, loneliness, gender/body dysphoria, and isolation, I have to say that something in me really dislikes the notion that women "take things out on themselves" while men lash out. I've never, ever lashed out at anybody other than myself. I'm relentlessly polite, self-effacing, quiet, and miserable and lonely.

What gets my goat is that it's obviously worse for a disturbed person who hates themselves to take their self-loathing out on other people, so this whole discussion reads to me like "yet another way that women are better people than men and men are mean, brutish creatures that take out their problems on women." I mean, I'm struggling so hard with that notion that I'm some kind of irredeemable, beastly, brutish, disgusting creature because I'm male...I just can't handle discussion like that.

Really should stay away.

DB605 · 2017-04-25T23:13:01+00:00

I've noticed when men hate themselves, it's a full, intensive dislike of their value to society, themselves, perhaps even the human race. It's "I hate that I'm a poor specimen of a male human being. I should have X. I can't do Y" etc.

When women "hate" themselves, it's usually rather token and compartmentalized. How often do we see women who think they're ugly cows or something and they're still riding a carousel? Still rejecting men otherwise of equal SMV. Still making statements and behaving in accordance with a self image that is contrary to their words.

I think women self hating themselves in entirety and actually behaving in the world in manners that validate that state of mind are extremely rare....

Even all these young girls who kill themselves because they think their life is over because they had group sex in the men's locker room and the videos got out or something... no one who thinks they have 0 value is having group sex in locker rooms.

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Five_Decades · 2017-04-25T19:39:55+00:00

Men are more likely to have narcissism or psychopathy, women have eating disorders and borderline personality disorder more.

I think as a general rule, men act out and hurt others when they are dysfunctional, women just destroy themselves.

Sunhappy_DC · 2017-04-25T20:07:01+00:00

"Are men and women different?"

Yes. Always. yes.

slavicgypsygirl · 2017-04-30T16:44:30+00:00

Men I date/d often had different reasons for hating themselves but some of their self destruction did mirror mine.

ie: Drugs, pills, alcohol, over exercising, sex, driving offences & getting black listed from clubs, bars, events etc.

despisedlove2 · 2017-04-25T16:10:44+00:00

Women's self hatred is at once apparent and irrelevant.

Men's self hatred tends to arise from a belated realization of mistakes made, before you can bring yourself to forgive yourself.

Women might be snakes. But it is a man's fault for inviting one into his heart and his home.

Title	Do men and women hate themselves differently?
Author	SetConsumes
Upvotes	8
Comments	173
Date	April 25, 2017 4:06 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/67hia6/do_men_and_women_hate_themselves_differently/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-men-and-women-hate-themselves-differently.268620 https://theredarchive.com/post/268620

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