How does science influence your decisions about dating and sex?

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-11-25T23:02:35+00:00

I mean, he has to at least believe in it. Not going to be dating someone who thinks the earth is flat or that the moon landing was faked or that vaccines cause autism.

Hungry-Nebula · 2022-11-25T23:12:41+00:00

What do you mean by "science?" Do you mean science as in "a method by which hypothesises are tested through experimentation and evidence"?

KikiYuyu · 2022-11-25T23:47:33+00:00

I'm not interested in dating statistics or data, I'm interested in human men. So it doesn't influence me.

CruelAngelGradThesis · 2022-11-26T01:36:40+00:00

Not at all. As someone who basically has to eat sleep and breathe that crap for school ime it's best to keep it separate from my personal life. I mean one of the first things you're taught is to approach it all with skepticism and help your peers refine their methodology. Not "Hey look! Science! Now embrace it without criticism or question because science!"

CimZim · 2022-11-25T23:18:05+00:00

Is science (I’m including the social sciences and economics here too) important to you in your day to day lives when you’re dating, trying to have sex, or just interacting with the opposite sex?

Science? Not really, unless you count the science of knowing that neurochemicals are what our brains use to make decisions.

Do you think about stuff like “mate guarding” or “hypergamy” for example?

No, neither of those things have any impact on my relationship whatsoever.

Or is it something you mostly think about when you’re reflecting on experiences or talking to people in places like this?

I only talk about pill stuff here, or if I found something particularly dumb of ass that I tell my lover to make him laugh.

I’m also wondering: how do you know what you believe is true, or true-enough, or descriptive?

I literally just treat people how they want to be treated, or if I don't know that, then how I'd want to be treated. It's served me well so far.

northernlights190 · 2022-11-25T23:01:14+00:00

It plays 0 conscious role in my dating choices. It’s only something I ever think about on this sub.

As far as I know what is “true,” I mean — I lived in the world my whole life and seen the variety of ways people operate and interact.

Beyond that I’ve never needed any sort of theory or structured idea about dating that was “true.”

lacuti3 · 2022-11-26T00:20:28+00:00

As a woman, hypergamy flows through my veins. There’s more hypergamy than red blood cells.

neetykeeno · 2022-11-25T23:52:52+00:00

I in general like to understand stuff on several different levels... cultural, physical, pragmatic etc because if you apply just one filter to your perceptions and ideas you miss a lot. Interactions between men and women get the same treatment as cooking, understanding if interest rates are likely to still be rising two years from now, doing my budget and writing.

It's just a habit. Pull apart ideas, perceptions, systems in your mind using different tool kits, see what's inside them and how they work. Sort of postmodern...which is nowhere near as bad a thing as the conservative panic merchants would have you believe in fact it isn't a bad thing at all. You're going to fall for anything if you don't tear ideas apart to find out what they are doing and how they were made.

NthKnife · 2022-11-26T02:39:08+00:00

Not really. The only thing I ever took into account is that, statistically, you don't find your long term partner until after age 22.

MistyMaisel · 2022-11-26T03:08:21+00:00

I mean, I try to integrate some of the science concerning gratitude and never degrading my partner in if that counts. But otherwise, nah, I'm good.

Fun_Push7168 · 2022-11-26T03:23:31+00:00

It's not something that's thought of much in real time. More like well before. Stats , data etc. All reviewed against life experience to affect strategy prior to interactions.

Example: Am I going to be the one to pay, most certainly. Why? Because

Stats say a very small minority are actually against it, the largest group being for it. With overall 46% saying men pay, 31% don't care, 18% say split. ( Don't cares and split are still typically delighted) So I'll play those odds.
I've had many positive reactions and zero negative, with only some neutral.

Other things don't line up. Something that means that despite stats, women I attract or something about me or my environment that makes my interaction an outlier statistically, I notice the trends in my own interactions and modify my behavior based on them measured against my own preferences.

This last part is what the vast majority of people do subconsciously. Notice trends in their own life and modify their behavior accordingly, but with influence from their own already established behavior or preference.

You see a lot scientific research here because it's a debate sub. Half of the time it's just used to retroactively back someone's opinion or personal experience.

pending_ending · 2022-11-26T04:54:31+00:00

paying attention to the science of mating can easily make me asexual aromantic asocial apeople antipeople and on and on. you have to absolutely ignore the science to actually enjoy it. ignore it for the life of you!

gate18 · 2022-11-27T03:31:53+00:00

(I believed this before but) a lecture on youtube described two layers/lines: one at the bottom, one at the top, and a big gap in between.

The line at the bottom represents "natural reality" and the line at the top represents the reality we have created

(End of lecture: it went off to talk about ww2)

I think our upper layer has nothing to do with the lower layer! No evolution, no science, no horoscope, no god, states that we should live in concrete boxes, we should use the internet, we should have a set of global rules (where you can go from Japan to Italy and find the relatively same lifestyle)

Whether women like skinny men with long hair or muscular bald men are all on the top layer.

We can, and we have enslaved and killed people pretending the bottom line is connected to the top line.

Stephen Hawking wouldn't have existed if we are animals run by biology or evolution.

Women and men that think are picking partners based on science aren't! They are picked based on advertising and social norms.

For example, if social media, plastic surgery, and gyms weren't profitable, no one would use them. And so low body fat, puffed-up asses/tits would not be "scientifically" pleasant.

Women wouldn't play hard to get, men would start fights, girls wouldn't be better than boy at school, and schools wouldn't exist... if it was about science, evolution and biology.

It's all about culture. If you have no success in the dating culture, find a different culture (where both sexes meet)

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-11-25T23:19:00+00:00

Well she does have to at least believe in science, if she believes there's more than two genders or that the Earth is flat or something like that then yeah she's got to go lol

But in all seriousness in terms of what you're talking about, very little if at all do I look at dating through a scientific standpoint, I wouldn't marry a promiscuous woman because "well statistically speaking ..." , I'm just not going to commit to a woman that's taking a lot of dick, and I only ever think about "hypergamy" for real when I'm interacting with some of y'all online, at the end of the day back when I was single my mentality simply was if I'm attracted to her and the feelings Mutual we get to know each other and then we just control what we can control

Anykindofland · 2022-11-26T00:54:16+00:00

I doubt that anybody will be heavily influenced by science when it comes to dating. Most people believe that statistics will not apply to them, that they are special and there is no way that anything can predict a certain outcome of their choices. Of course, its all just an illusion and the narcissistic need to feel like you are not like the rest.

alphasupremacy5555 · 2022-11-26T01:08:11+00:00

I'm definitely always aware of hypergamy specifically semen like hurting me when it comes to dating and sex. It is true enough that due to female hypergamy women want only the highest value men possible. So they're always on the lookout for the men who are the most handsome with the most money charisma confidence and charm. They want the best man they can get. Despite what some morons will say female hypergamy is very real so women are always looking out for bigger better deal when it comes to men to monkey branch to..

BigZaddyZ3 · 2022-11-25T23:11:29+00:00

It’s probably more of a sub-conscious thing for most people.

Tho I can see how it could play into certain decisions you make. Like if you were buying clothes. You might think to yourself “men/women typically like this sort of look statistically. So I’ll buy clothes that cater to that look”… for example.

SwaySh0t · 2022-11-25T23:52:09+00:00

I’ve been studying game theory and seduction since 03/04 so it’s been long enough that it’s a sub conscious thing for me. Add in fact that I have a lot connections with party/club/bar scene and my city and a lot of the early “TRP” theory’s are proven in real time. I will say that recent situation hit home, someone I consider like older sister was recently married and has been having very hard time conceiving a child. It’s definitely put some things in perspective is regards to my hard cut offs for dating since I want children.

Green-Quantity1032 · 2022-11-26T00:25:13+00:00

Social science is garbage I’m sorry. Ideally I’d consider every access to evidence-based theory I can get my hands on.

Try psychology, behavioral economics and evolutionary psychology (with grains of salt) instead.

Radiant_Specific6542 · 2022-11-26T01:13:37+00:00

It affects everything, for me, combined with statistics so I can make the best, calculated decisions. This has worked beautifully for me; so much so that I'm willing to marry/ I'm engaged in this crazy dating world.

For an example, I won't date a woman with a high body count do to the mental drawbacks.

To play devils advocate, if I was single, I wouldn't date a woman over 30 or more accurately, I wouldn't get into a serious relationship with a woman over 30. For context, I'm 29, but regardless of age, I wouldn't get into a long term relationship with a woman over 30. Reason being that biology/fertility comes into play and I'm not putting a baby in anyone unless we've dated for a minimum of 5 years.

There's more I could list but I believe this answers your question

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Think_History_5682 · 2022-11-26T00:16:35+00:00

Physical attraction

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-11-26T02:34:57+00:00

zero amount

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-11-26T05:55:06+00:00

Not at all.

I'd have been into prenups and safeguards prior to learning about all the stats on divorce rape and stuff so that doesn't change my mind. On the other hand I value vibe and compatibility over literally everything (if they pass the Hot Check) so even though I know promiscuous girls are more likely to cheat if I vibe with one I don't give a singular shit, I vibe with her so she's mine

FancyComfortable4678 · 2022-11-26T08:25:27+00:00

Science invented dating apps, it’s all been downhill from there

Fancy-Respect8729 · 2022-11-26T11:11:41+00:00

I'm aware of science and all the red pill stuff. I try not to be too cynical when dating. Life is a lived experience not data and statistics.

jonascf · 2022-11-26T13:21:16+00:00

How does science influence your decisions about dating and sex?

Not one bit. I let my own experience guide me and that seems to be working very well for me.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-11-26T18:16:24+00:00

Science is incredibly important for me but only for pragmatic, health-related, and logistical matters when it comes to sex and dating.

Keeping abreast of medical developments, of how to protect from STIs and pregnancy influences all my dating and sexual decisions.

It has served me well. Holding high standards for safety for myself and my partners has prevented me from ever being pregnant or contracting any STIs.

I do not hold a stigma against those who have STIs but I still am very happy that through scientific application (and probably luck although I have been very, very good at preventative measures), my dating life has remained full of good health and no pregnancies.

When I am looking for someone to date I have my own set of criteria. Every individuals needs are different and every potential partner might have a different dynamic with me. So unscientific feelings and ineffable chemistry are part of dating, but also are practical considerations of compatibility and enough overlapping values in how to treat each other, ourselves, and the world at large.

Title	How does science influence your decisions about dating and sex?
Author	throwaway1987___
Upvotes	7
Comments	62
Date	November 25, 2022 10:58 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/z4qxg4/how_does_science_influence_your_decisions_about/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-does-science-influence-your-decisions-about.1141864 https://theredarchive.com/post/1141864

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