I've said it before and I'll say it again on this sub just because I feel like my experience is very important.

I was a super tall African American extroverted artist. So I'll let you all draw conclusions to how I was perceived and treated

I know very much for a fact that if I was born a little bit smaller or even non black that I probably would have had a worse time

Being super tall is a privilege for men and all my life I received both jealousy from Men and undeserved praise because of it. Strange enough from women I got a lot of attention but I would not call this attention to positive. Also I've had women think that I was trying to hit on them when I was being neutral and I honestly think that's because they were into me.

But even still I did not do as well as someone who probably committed themselves fully to masculinity or to things that are considered culturally masculine

Even as a young man I made no delusions thinking that my artistic talent was somehow super attractive even though getting good at it takes a lot of things we would call classically masculine and attractive. Such as planning and practicing and taking criticism and practicing some more

But I also do know for a fact and maybe it's also the reason why I don't try as hard is because art is viewed as very feminine and as an artistic man I always imagine I would only get some real success with women from it if only I am super successful from my art. Which I am not yet but my career is just now starting to take off which I am a little proud of

But also whenever girls criticize guys who struggle they always make it seem like these guys have no emotional intelligence or that they just can't socialize or understand feelings but if that is true then I must be a walking conundrum

Because here I am literally a visual artist and because of that fact my job pretty much inclines me to be emotionally intuitive and to understand people and feelings. So whenever I hear the advice about men need to better their personality or emotional range I kind of laugh at it

If it was true that this great personality was so attractive then arguably most men wouldn't have problems because despite popular belief most men aren't that bad at socializing or social understanding

I do know that men are not going to be forgiven for social blunders or awkwardness like a woman can

Basically men and women are equally frustrated and immature and emotionally zoned out but women will be way more forgiven for that and all social instances

For men it feels like a death sentence if you are not some social Mastermind or at least better than your girl