How submissive are you?

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-06-11T16:43:50+00:00

How submissive are you in general? Mainly how you interact with your friends, family, co workers etc

not AT all. like not remotely. the opposite. i am aggressive and dominant in the world. im assertive and commanding and have no issue with telling people what to do

How submissive are you in your relationship?

pretty much completely

How submissive are you in bed?

pretty submissive, no desire to dominate a man in any way shape or form, actively turned off by it. peopel seem to confuse "active" with "dominant" now tho, so im not sure im answering the right Q

Do you think women naturally prefer dominant men? What is your preference?

i prefer dominant men. i think women in general have a complex and confused relationship with dominance. they definitely want all the GOOD parts of dominance with none of the bad parts and in attempting to strike that balance often err on the side of non dominant and dominance ends up lacking in a detrimental way

lefactorybebe · 2019-06-11T16:27:24+00:00

I'm generally pretty easy-going and in certain contexts will be very submissive/passive (new job, uncomfortable situation).

But I react poorly when I think someone is trying to be dominant toward me or in general. I don't like it and I will become a contrarian if I see it happening. Ive worked with horses for 15 years and you cannot ever be submissive around them and have to maintain the role of the leader at all times, or you'll get run over, kicked, smashed, hurt, etc. It's kind of spilled over to my everyday life and I do not take kindly to displays of dominance.

MaxwellPancakesMcgee · 2019-06-11T16:58:43+00:00

My mentor in the farrier world once told me he admired that I 'always took the path of least resistance.' It sounds submissive, but honestly, I just don't play games I can't win and I'm willing to get physical or confrontational if that's what will get it done. I understand heirarchies, but I definitely don't put myself at the bottom in many of them. When I do, I'm getting something from it. I am generally more dominant in my family, they're dysfunctional and bad at life, but it's not self-imposed. Coworkers, depends on the dynamics, my career has a pretty easy heirarchy to follow, if someone knows more than you, you listen, you jump to, you show respect, if someone is more inexperienced, you owe them what you can do to help them, but they owe you respect and a good amount of try and willingness. Friends... submissive, I'm along for the ride.

So am I submissive? Depends highly on the context. Generally not as I end up in leadership roles.

In my relationship, I'm dating an ESTJ 8 (challenger) archetype guy for those into MBTI. He generally gets his way because it doesn't matter for the most part and he's pretty reasonable and in line with my views, but there are things I put my foot down on. I'm submissive enough, but I keep a lot of things 'out of the relationship' and in my own hands to forgo arguements or issues. Heck I even resisted living alone with him or living together as long as I possibly could because he can be a dick.

I'm more avoidant/independent than submissive.

Sexually I'm switch (alternate between dom/sub) but I prefer to be more dominant because I know what I'm doing.

I think many women prefer dominant men, but keep in mind that doesn't automatically make the female a sub. I like to get shit done, I'm ambitious and goal oriented, I want a like minded partner.

goatismycopilot · 2019-06-11T19:10:10+00:00

I am not submissive, but because I do not take an aggressive stance people often mistake me for being more easy going than I am. I have an outwardly friendly personality in day to day life so people often make the mistake of thinking I can be "talked into" things I am not interested in. I am very comfortable saying nope. The exception to that would be work where I am paid do and say things I am not very keen on.

If somebody is being aggressive or an asshole I can dig in very easily and just stay there and hold my ground without necessarily meeting the level.

CreightonWAbrams · 2019-06-11T19:34:09+00:00

As I noted yesterday, my father made it his business to make sure that I would never submit to anybody except possibly him. This was his way of protecting me. I was also not raised in a culture that expected all women to submit to or defer to all men. (My mother was, and she intentionally did not transmit that message to my sister or me.)

So no, I am not submissive. I defer to Mr. Abrams plenty, but he did not want a "submissive" wife in the sense that I believe TRP and MRP mean it. I have no problems dealing with hierarchies with respect to my career, which has been spent almost entirely in the context of US military hierarchies. I have no problem deferring to someone whose expertise is greater on a given topic, but I am incapable of deferring to someone whose expertise is not as great as mine on a given topic, if I know they are wrong. This has never been a problem for me, though.

I feel at ease in the company of dominant men, but again, they have to be actually dominant, based on their own personalities and achievements and dispositions. I'm not going to respect any man purely because he occupies a given office. I might respect the office, but I won't respect him unless he has earned it.

kandyapplez · 2019-06-11T21:18:22+00:00

i'm submissive in the style of lana del rey where everything is tongue in cheek and hyperperformative. even when i'm saying "yes daddy" in a baby voice and looking up at him in a schoolgirl skirt we both know its complete bullshit lol but its fun!!!

EthelSupreme · 2019-06-11T16:19:19+00:00

With friends and co-workers and all the rest, I am a normal gal who interacts like anyone else. A mix of submissive and dominant. With my SO I am a cream puff who gives in. This was not the case AT ALL with previous boyfriends and is only the case now because I am out of my head in love.

I do not think most women are likely to submit to dominant men unless they are wired that way, as I have seen some ballbreakers in my time. Those gals actually prefer betas even if they say otherwise and my grandmothers definitely ruined their respective roosts.

Texastentialism · 2019-06-11T16:56:24+00:00

How submissive are you in general? Mainly how you interact with your friends, family, co workers etc

I am a complete pushover in most facets of my life.

How submissive are you in your relationship?

Pretty submissive I guess, but my husband doesn't have much interest in dominating or telling me what to do so it doesn't come up much. We both just kind of go with the flow. But on the rare occasion where there is a conflict, I usually defer to him.

How submissive are you in bed?

I'm submissive in the sense that I generally like him to take the lead and prefer to be the more passive partner. I'm not the kind of "submissive" that wants to be hurt or degraded or will do anything a guy wants in bed. I don't do anything BDSM-y, I don't want to be called mean names, I don't want to be slapped in the face.

Do you think women naturally prefer dominant men? What is your preference?

They generally prefer more dominant than submissive men, but the degree of dominance tolerated/desired will depend on the woman. I'm really fond of Camille's dominance threshold theory. My relationship is LLL and I think that's my preferred dynamic.

Littleknownfacts · 2019-06-12T01:08:06+00:00

How submissive are you in general? Mainly how you interact with your friends, family, co workers etc

I'm usually pretty chill with people in general, I want to be friendly and well liked so if someone asks me nicely, I'd give them a kidney. So as long as I don't feel like I'm being treaded on, I'm pretty submissive. However as soon as someone tries to aggro me, I shut down and they get no where with me.

How submissive are you in your relationship?

Very. But my SO almost never makes me feel like it's an active effort.

How submissive are you in bed?

Very.

Do you think women naturally prefer dominant men? What is your preference?

Maybe just a few notches more dominant than themselves. But more dominant isn't always better. My preference is just for slightly more dominant than me. Someone who is very dominant brings out my worst most stubborn self.

slavicgypsygirl · 2019-06-13T20:45:01+00:00

When I am dressed no one can tell me what to do

When I am undressed that changes completely

FlavFal · 2019-06-11T16:20:55+00:00

How submissive are you in general? Mainly how you interact with your friends, family, co workers etc

Not submissive at all.

How submissive are you in your relationship?

Not submissive in my relationship either. We're very egalitarian.

How submissive are you in bed?

I'm a switch in bed. Being a sub in bed can be fine, but I wouldn't be happy if I couldn't be dominant when I want.

Do you think women naturally prefer dominant men? What is your preference?

I don't know about "naturally", but I believe in general women prefer dominant men. I personally don't.

QueenCousland86 · 2019-06-11T18:01:35+00:00

I was raised in an environment where submissiveness equaled danger. I had to be assertive, direct, and often aggressive, or I would have experienced far worse than what I did. I am a team player and I have no issues with my work environment, but if someone is rude, pushy, or demanding, I respond very poorly.

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crystal_wb · 2019-06-11T16:33:15+00:00

I would say I'm a normal person on that spectrum, neither completely submissive nor completely dominant. Just a bit of both.

In a relationship I guess I'm probably the same, but a teeny tiny bit more submissive.

In bed I'm definitely submissive. Not full BDSM mode, but the majority of the time.

I do believe a lot of women would prefer a guy who's dominant. But I also think that this doesn't apply to the entirety of womanhood. I personally don't want a guy whose attitude already screams that he's dominant. I also don't think I would want a full alpha guy. But I would indeed prefer a rather dominant guy over a rather submissive guy.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-06-11T16:57:21+00:00

I'm introverted, so I come across as submissive, but really I'm just quiet and fiercely independent.

In my relationship, I would say we are about even, or maybe even I am very slightly more dominant, but as he suffers a chronic illness I kind of have to be or nothing would ever get done.

In bed, 110% submissive.

I hear that women prefer dominant men so I will take their word for it. I prefer a more egalitarian relationship, but I don't want someone who needs me to lead him around by the nose.

doctor_trucks · 2019-06-11T17:08:10+00:00

Not. Lol.

verticordia · 2019-06-11T19:42:42+00:00

I'm as dominant as they come outside of sex. I have a weird relationship with submission in a sexual/romantic context. I'm definitely a natural submissive, I would just need a man I could really really trust. I don't just defer to anyone with a penis. And a lot of guys just suck at being dominant even sexually. It's always "what do you want to do?" bleh. I could only be sexually submissive within a LTR. No random tinder hookup is gonna try to dominate me lmao.

I think women do prefer dominant men, some women are just much more dominant than the average man. So the thought of submitting sexually/romantically to some guy you'd run laps around IRL is a turn off. Although, I know a couple really fucked up but beautiful girls who are in BDSM type relationships with the most disgusting neckbeard type dudes.

SqueaksScreech · 2019-06-11T19:58:58+00:00

I'm only submissive in bed. I'm not submissive when it comes to work or meeting people. I really don't give a shit for people or their entitlement behavior. In my relationship my partner and I see each other as equals.

CuriousOptimistic · 2019-06-11T20:07:29+00:00

How submissive are you in general? Mainly how you interact with your friends, family, co workers etc

I'm in the middle. I submit to people who make good decisions but will fight forever those who don't.

How submissive are you in your relationship?

Not very.

How submissive are you in bed?

I'm a switch. I can be submissive with certain people and dominant with others More submissive than dominant but not very far to either side.

My general approach in all of these situations could best be summarized as, "Lead, follow, or get out of the way." If you want to be in charge, you have to be really good at it, not just power hungry

Do you think women naturally prefer dominant men? What is your preference?

I think this is a hard question to answer, as it depends on what you mean by "naturally." Our culture is so focused on brainwashing everyone into thinking that men must be "dominant," despite not really even knowing what that means, that it would be hard for me to say what I "naturally" want, much less "women."

I will say that I do believe what women apparently want is heavily influenced by patriarchy and that what they want "naturally" is probably overall less dominant than our current social standard.

nemma88 · 2019-06-11T20:42:01+00:00

Middling in every day life. If there's sometime I feel strongly about I tend to be more assertive, but generally it's just a easy going.

In work I prefer to be more submissive. Mostly from indifference

In my relationship I prefer to be more submissive, mostly from indifference to most desicion though.

In bed we both switch well, often depends on how each other feel that day.

we-are-men-with-ven · 2019-06-11T21:03:29+00:00

In general

That's hard to answer as I don't have a life style that requires much confrontation. I'm very confident but also very warm and friendly (so I've been told.anyway).

How submissive are you in your relationship?

Not at all. My partner is a huge softy and he's never raised his voice at me or even gotten angry with me. He's physically very macho with a six pack and v-lines.

How submissive are you in bed?

Massively. I'm big into BDSM and adore to be completely dominated. I like being called a slut and being spanked, I like it hard and Im into beong tied up. This is always after I know the guy a little and trust him however.

boomcheese44 · 2019-06-12T01:00:23+00:00

Pretty submissive until I grew out of it and became more neutral. That was hard work. And if you are partnered with a dominant, masculine guy, you will get run over. So, it dosent benefit me or anyone else to be "submissive". I really like to know OPs definition of the word, tho.

lurkingconfused · 2019-06-12T07:05:26+00:00

How submissive are you in general? Mainly how you interact with your friends, family, co workers etc

Not submissive but very laid back and go-with-the-flow. I'm kind of maternal with everyone, including employees. I never mind being the decider with friends, family, etc. but I don't feel the need to be unless no one else is stepping up.

How submissive are you in your relationship?

I definitely let him take the lead when something matters to him more, or it's something he's better at or knows more than me on. With this it's pretty egalitarian, we defer to eachother on different things.

How submissive are you in bed?

Looks like I'm an outlier here. But hubby's not into submissive chicks so it's worked out well.

Do you think women naturally prefer dominant men? What is your preference?

From everything I've ever read, and from my girlfriends who talk about their own preferences, it seems that there's a natural preference for it. Even with me and hubby's somewhat reversed sexual dynamic, I don't think I would find it attractive if he was at all submissive to other MEN, or really anyone else other than me. The fact that he IS normally dominant is a big part of the turn on.

je_kut_is_bourgeois · 2019-06-12T09:18:29+00:00

This whole "submissive" vs "dominant" distinction is about as stupid as "the left" vs "the right" or "masculine" vs "feminine".

It's a bunch of completely unrelated qualities that are grouped together in arbitrary ways because "cultural convention".

As it stands I'm an individual with a soft voice that very easily goes along with the plans of others because I'm largely indifferent but will ademently put my foot down when I don't want to and expect others to do the same. I rarely tell others what to do but don't let others tell me what to do either; use impolite forms of speech to superiors (my native language makes that distinction) and essentially never initiate sex.

That's simply the individual what I am and you can arbitrarily group those traits into "submissive" and "dominant" as you please because they're dumb arbitrary distinctions.

misiepatysie · 2019-06-12T09:29:45+00:00

1) Not submissive at all. I am assertive but nice at work and try to have it all my way
2)Some. It depends on the situation. I like being heared out and feeling that my opinions are valued, but I do not mind the men leading in many scenarios
3)Very. I am a sub
4)No. I know girls who have all the other way round. Or are dominatative all the time. It depends on the woman.

Willow-girl · 2019-06-12T12:37:13+00:00

My job is to bend the world to my will, lol.

[deleted] · 2019-06-11T17:57:07+00:00

I'm not submissive at all. Left to my own devices, I'm one of the coldest sharpest cunts in the Mid-Atlantic corridor. I'd doorslam anyone without any announcement, family, lover, employer, I don't care.

How I am in bed is none of your business.

That said, I am happiest and least cunty with a man that IMPOSES masculinity on me and checks me if I get out of line. I'm also deferential. If he earns my respect, he'll be listened to and followed. The flip side of that is that masculinity makes me go from cunt to BPD madhouse woman due to love. So take what you can get with INFJs lol

Title	How submissive are you?
Author	ColCrin
Upvotes	4
Comments	59
Date	June 11, 2019 3:18 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/bzds3y/how_submissive_are_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-submissive-are-you.255353 https://theredarchive.com/post/255353

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