Incels, how do you keep yourself from getting depressed and having suicidal thoughts?

Xemnas81 · 2016-02-25T05:23:25+00:00

I'm less depressed about being incel now and more depressed and worried about all the laws coming up in my country which will make it increasingly difficult to be attractive, essentially. For example, you now need consent for everything, every time, you have to ask verbally, you basically have to be as passive as possible-any aggressiveness or 'dominant' behaviour is now labeled as emotional abuse, which is illegal and has a sentence of 5 years. While this seems sensible (I mean, no one wants to rape or assault) it's also a major turn-off, to seek consent in exactly the way described. This was decided by the UK Home Office/Crown. I can see a lot of dead bedrooms in the future.

The laws as I understand them are basically forcing men into choosing: obedient beta providers, or jail for abuse/rape. Also, the implication of the site was that you weren't allowed to see anything to defame its reputation. So I can see being gender critical being not only abuse, but treason of some sort in time to come.

As a man who finds it difficult to approach within 10 feet of a woman, let alone harass, I find this troubling and it's put me off dating even further.

Finally, redpillers are now getting prosecuted and the movement is totally straw manned in regional tabloids. Apparently you view women as second class citizens with no rights in marriage.

See also

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/red-pill-mens-rights-anti-feminist-group-who-know-what-women-want/

you_done_messed_up · 2016-02-25T10:49:37+00:00

The traditional tools for most unfucked men (single or married) in the West to numb themselves are:

porn
video games
alcohol / drugs

CookieMan0 · 2016-02-25T04:29:13+00:00

I was a celibate for about three years, and all I have to say is that if your life doesn't revolved around an obsession with sex, you quickly learn that life is not only not about sex, but that sex simply isn't important. It's nice, yes, but far from a necessity.

If you're suicidal and depressed about not getting any, then you have bigger problems, such as those with your own perceived value as a human being.

hentaipolice · 2016-02-25T05:21:29+00:00

You can't stop it completely, but I try to keep myself busy with a ton of hobbies (both physical and mental) and I work on a side project with some friends. Some days are better than others.

I'm not FA though and have plenty of friends to hang out with on the weekends. That helps a bunch as well. I can't imagine what I would do if I was FA.

MissMaude · 2016-02-25T06:39:22+00:00

Do you have friends or family? It seems like loneliness is a larger issue than wanting a romantic attachment.

tallwheel · 2016-02-25T06:45:02+00:00

I was incel for a long time, and honestly, I don't know. I was often depressed, but only had serious suicidal thoughts on a few occasions. I guess for me it helped that I always had a stable job, lots of hobbies to fill up my time, a small handful of friends, and probably most fortunately I'm very close with my parents and family. My parents are still together, openly affectionate with each other, and have always supported me 100%. I don't know what I would have done without their love and support.

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[deleted] · 2016-02-25T06:30:32+00:00

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jolly_mcfats · 2016-02-25T19:06:38+00:00

A few people here have rephrased this question in a way that is more about how you deal with isolation- pointing out that when you crave companionship, it's hard to find it because neediness is off-putting.

I think TRP actually has some good advice for this- hitting the gym and working on interests is really fucking good advice. But I spent a year doing another ritual that made my life a lot better: every week I did something I'd never done before, by myself, and wrote about it in a journal. Doing this made me feel like hanging out with myself was something special that I enjoyed- and that I could be better company for myself than some other people were. I did this at a time when I had a lot of friends- so I don't know how it works when you are lonely- but it definitely made me feel like I was a good friend to myself. I made a point to keep what I was doing secret so that I didn't feel like it was ever for anyone but myself. However, at the end of the year, I had a lot of stories to share about some of the more ridiculous stuff I did (like hiking to the top of a mountain, drinking a bottle of wine, losing my flashlight, and climbing back down, drunk, in the dark). Those stories might give you something to talk about when meeting new people (although truthfully- I find that the art of making friends is a lot less about what stories you bring to the table than what kind of questions and comments you can make about someone else's stories).

Anyway- if you're looking for actionable things to do to transform how you feel about solitude- give it a try.

alizarin_warrior · 2016-02-25T19:34:59+00:00

Not quite an incel, but have been celibate for a good 4 months after hooking up with a friend twice. Prior to that, I hooked up maybe twice a month with another friend for 6 months or so but stopped cause I didnt know she had a boyfriend still (thought they broke up til she brought him up.. then felt guilty and didnt want to continue.)

Prior to this, was celibate for about a year and a half after my girlfriend broke up with me. Im not really into hook up culture and am a pretty shy dude / not afriad of rejection, but afraid of thr creepy label (I need to work on this).

Anyway.. enough about that. I occupy a huge amount of my time with work and hobbies. Im an artist, so nearly all my freetime outside of my day job is devoted to producing work. I play guitar too so ill jam with friends or something when I have the time. Going out with friends, acquaintances, colleagues etc..

I pretty much just stay busy and focused on my goals rather than what I dont have. Having faith in myself too that im a good catch helps.. (in decent shape, have style and an interesting life).. when I was a kid, I wanted to live a life I couls write a book about or tell some crazy "war stories" to grand kids hah.

throwaway1643 · 2016-02-25T23:21:49+00:00

Hey Thales,

Serious suggestion here. Have you tried a regime of regular and consistent exercise?

To be more specific, try this: 5k run 2x a week with a longer 10k run on the weekend. Set a goal as well, which gives you a concrete target and an objective measure of self-improvement as you near it. For example, <1 hr for 10k is easily achievable with practice. <50 mins if you're in decent shape, and <45 mins if you're up for a challenge.

Then, also go to the gym and lift weights. The stronglifts 5x5 is a great introduction to lifting, even if you haven't done anything before. Focus on the benchpress, squat and deadlift in the start, it has great benefits.

I strongly thing that there's nothing like exercise, running and lifting to beat depression.

The added boost to your physique, self-worth and SMV makes it absolutely worth it. Many things in life can be fixed simply by exercise and lifting.

Darth_Sin · 2016-02-27T14:00:42+00:00

If incels are getting depressed and having suicidal thoughts, just become a MGTOW.

Truly, sex is not the be all and end all of everything. You know what sex is at the end of the day ? Its mutual masturbation that typically takes place in a bodily orifice.

If you really want to get off just jerk off and use sex toys like a fleshlight or VR to heighten the sensation. Otherwise find a hooker.

There's more to life than sex and there is more to life to get upset about as opposed to sex. Like lag in a multiplayer match for example. :P

questioningwoman · 2016-02-25T09:28:55+00:00

The vast majority of people except for a few exceptions are a waste of space. They aren't missing much. Killing yourself solves nothing because they are the problem and not you. Why let them win?

Carkudo · 2016-02-25T11:13:26+00:00

Therapy, some techniques to manage emotions and a good healthy does of distraction (including work) help perfectly well with depressive feelings. It's a fight you ultimately cannot win, but you can keep the initiative in it for most of your life - just fight those feelings, don't indulge them, and keep on the movie.

As for suicidal thoughts, I don't see them as a problem. When I'm old, frail and alone, I will commit suicide. If anything, knowing that I won't have to suffer any more than I'm willing to bear is a relief.

Title	Incels, how do you keep yourself from getting depressed and having suicidal thoughts?
Author	ThalesToAristotle
Upvotes	4
Comments	81
Date	February 25, 2016 4:21 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/47h6tv/incels_how_do_you_keep_yourself_from_getting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/incels-how-do-you-keep-yourself-from-getting.276014 https://theredarchive.com/post/276014

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