Men’s vs women’s self help advice differences

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2026-02-11T17:44:53+00:00

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TheGloriousEv0lution · 2026-02-11T17:11:47+00:00

Eh, I somewhat agree in spirit but not entirely. Women’s “dating gurus” do not tell women they should lose weight or hit the gym, but rather give mindset lessons on how to approach and deal with men to find your perfect partner. It’s a little more nuanced than “you’re perfect” and reassurance

Men’s dating advice involves attracting women while women’s advice is telling women how to approach dating and pick the right person because those are the hardest parts to navigate for them

Lower-Base-2014 · 2026-02-11T17:29:14+00:00

That's what I hate about men's self help advice being a guy. Yes it may be needed to improve and work on yourself, but imagine always essentially being told you need to always improve and always do stuff and you're never enough as who you are, that people won't accept you as you are. Women get all this validation and told they're always enough as a woman and empowered, why do people treat men as if we're not human? We want to be told those same things sometimes.

ThatBitchA · 2026-02-11T17:28:19+00:00

Seems like men's advice could be more kind and encouraging.

Men's advice seems like they have zero internal motivation and are only motivated by someone yelling at them and calling them names.

And then men act like their way is the only way.

I'll take the kind advice over the advice screaming at me saying, "you're not enough, do more".

Lemon_gecko · 2026-02-11T17:30:08+00:00

I mean it actually makes sense. Men are usually pretty egocentric and they think they are the best there is (as you can see by their desires for a woman to just see them and be instantly turned on and desire him in every way possible, and his feeling of humiliation that he actually needs to do something). So the advice for them to be something that brings more reality to their life and tells them to actually do something and take responsibility.

With women tho they are generally people pleasers and sacrifice themselves for whatever reason. As we can see by the number of abused women, by disparity of housework they do compared to men, how they are struggling to leave POS of boyfriends/husbands who humiliate them in public. So advice to them is to value yourself, to realize that he is capable of living full life on her own, and out of that value she should vet and find people in her life.

What's troubling you? Like can't you analyze it yourself, or you just see women being kinder and you go on a war that they should suffer, or feel morally superior that men are "suffering" more?

pie-mart · 2026-02-11T17:03:48+00:00

The self help I come across as a woman is more about how I am not just my looks and how being wanted by men shouldn't be my goal and that I am loveable and worthy of love no matter what anyone else says.

I also see self help for men similar to what women's self help is.

It seems like the things you listed are manosphere/incel and femcel sprinkle sprinkle bs

My_House_on_Mars · 2026-02-11T17:10:18+00:00

are you sure? This sounds like what manosphere guys think women's advice sounds like

I follow some female self help influencers that are more about "if you don't take care of yourself, none will" "do the thing" "the world is a hostile place" "find a friend" I just saw a reel from a woman advising others to masturbate before any mayor decision.

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mrcs84usn · 2026-02-11T17:16:58+00:00

Men’s self help is about taking control of your situation. Discipline, responsibility, becoming more formidable.

Women’s self help is about self acceptance. Emotional awareness, setting boundaries, and rejecting unrealistic expectations.

Solondthewookiee · 2026-02-11T17:44:39+00:00

Nah, much like "blue pill beliefs," the women's self help is not like that at all, it's just what red pillers believe to justify their agenda.

Most genuine men's self help isn't masochistic in nature either, but it is fascinating how often men gravitate to that, like the poor suckers who pay tens of thousands of dollars to go to fake boot camps and get screamed at because...?

Lysa_Bell · 2026-02-11T17:50:17+00:00

Womens self help comes in more categories than men's self-help. I agree with your view on men's self-help.

Women's self help depends on what you want to be and you get sorted into the different categories of "self help". We got the "skinny HVW" with advices like "only eat one bite, go to the gym, use all the skin care, dress like this, do that" similar to males advices. We got the tradwives and the "how to be a housewife and honor your husband and god" kind of advice. We got the boss babes with the "get the highest education, start a side hustle, here is how to get a higher salary, ask for the promotion, etc". We got the "self lovers" that tends to be all about emotional regulation, meditation, living the childhood dreams, bosy positivity etc. And many many more. Womens self help comes in different categories very fine tuned to exactly the goal you want to achieve. You usually dont get the surface level advices that men get. The "one fits all". Women in general have to put themselves often in certain drawers and we have to make decisions pretty early on who we want to be. If you want a family and children you need to decide and work towards that. Men dont really have that. They can just fuck around and then at 40 be "imma be a dad now".

ThinkSupermarket6163 · 2026-02-11T17:04:09+00:00

and what’s your point?

DMmeClownPics · 2026-02-11T17:22:15+00:00

Well, men’s self help is mostly, if not fully, issued by men. And women’s self help isn’t quite like that.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2026-02-11T17:11:32+00:00

Bruh if it’s “self help” then isn’t it the SELF who is either saying those things OR choosing to consume these he products and videos of who tell them those things?!

This is an unforced self own.

TinyFlamingo2147 · 2026-02-11T17:26:13+00:00

Most of the guys looking for advice are socially inept wackos that can't socialize and give themselves mental illnesses online. They don't want any real advice and reject it ..so yeah....they kinda suck.

Suck it up, go outside and grow up.

cb8585b · 2026-02-11T17:31:40+00:00

Well how consistent is this advice because theres a non insignificant amount of men who aren’t listening to that advice; they instead come on reddit to beg women for empathy. Why is that?

UnstableHotspot · 2026-02-11T17:44:42+00:00

You should probably start asking for advice from different people if this is the feedback you receive.

Title	Men’s vs women’s self help advice differences
Author	mus_b_nuthn
Upvotes	6
Comments	55
Date	February 11, 2026 4:58 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1r22rz6/mens_vs_womens_self_help_advice_differences/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/mens-vs-womens-self-help-advice-differences.1573262 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573262

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