Monkey Branching/Branch Swinging

Orange_Paisley · 2021-06-27T14:20:41+00:00

I left my long distance high school-era boyfriend for a more local college-era boyfriend. I did regret dating the college boyfriend but not because of the high school boyfriend. In my subsequent relationships I’ve taken a break between partners, 6 months to a year usually. Once it was 4 years. I think it helps me recalibrate and avoid rebound dating.

philomexa · 2021-06-27T17:40:05+00:00

The longest I've been single is about a month between relationships. When you're cute and have a social life there is always another guy ready to shoot his shot once word gets out that you're single. At that point I just pick the most appealing one (or the most bold).

Never regretted ending a relationship, never regretted starting a new one.

NarniaFox · 2021-06-27T14:05:09+00:00

Do you take no as an answer? I've ever dated only one person and he's my husband.

I have a story for you about a woman I know well and whose husband accused her in "branch swinging". The funny thing is though that they'd already separated and they were in the process of getting divorce and she had no one, just a one-night stand with a random guy. Some men tend to think that they were left for someone else and refuse to see the truth that they were left just because being single is better than being with them.

SmurfESmurferson · 2021-06-27T16:31:51+00:00

Yeah, sure, I’m a serial monogamist. But what happens is that I end things with one guy, and generally get a wave of interest from other men. Whoever I vibe with ends up being the new guy - I don’t have one lined up when I leave

I’ve never regretted leaving an ex, though (the closest I’ve gotten is with my ex, but that’s sadness, not regret). Something is irreparably broken if I’m even open to meeting someone new, which is why I end the first relationship anyhow

houstongradengineer · 2021-06-27T15:16:43+00:00

The simplest answer is that I would go on "dates" sometimes shortly after a "breakup." There would be no sex, as I was dating as a virgin anyway. These dates were halfsies or very cheap dates that normally ended in mild disappointment. I would figure out all over again that I wasn't ready, and that most men weren't compatible with me. Then, I'd stay single for long stretches.

I feel like the "branch swinging" rhetoric on PPD implies that hypergamous women are going for more attractive/rich men, or that women can't be single/sexless for long times.Those things definitely are not the case for me. However, I definitely made mistakes. I've had poor boundaries, I've been naive, I've ignored red flags. The complicated answer is that the dates I went on in this fragile rebound state sometimes involved me being groped over my clothes without my consent. That's what I get for spending 1-on-1 time with men I'm not looking to quickly be romantic or sexual with. Now that I am an adult who actually had sex and understands what sex is, this is why I never recommend casual coffee and walk dates for women. Most men who do those things want more than just a wonderful friendly social interaction.

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relish5k · 2021-06-27T14:25:10+00:00

I stopped seeing my high school boyfriend for good (we were broke up but still invoked)when I got with another guy. We were together for a couple years, then broke up, got back together, etc. That ended for good when I started seeing someone else. And so on. Never regretted any of the moves.

EleanorAbernathyPhD · 2021-06-27T15:22:10+00:00

Ive never done it and I dont think I would. I believe we all should take a break between partners to heal whatever we need to heal and dont date until we are ready.

thetruthishere_ · 2021-06-27T16:06:25+00:00

No. I need alone time. Last thing I want after a breakup is another man.

I have a friend that jumped man to man, its not that he was better she couldn't be alone. Her parents messed her up for sure as a kid...

chubbybutt22 · 2021-06-27T16:46:21+00:00

I had a long decline in my marriage and went directly into dating afterwards. But we had both been checked out for at least eight months. My ex also immediately started dating after the separation. So I guess technically I dated before my divorce went through and less than a month after my physical separation. If that counts.

rft24 · 2021-06-27T17:51:43+00:00

~~no.~~

edit: i misunderstood the question so i’m changing my answer.

i guess my answer isn’t entirely wrong, but it depends on how long you have to be single for it to count as a “break.”

to me, there was at least a 1-3 month break between all 3 of the guys i’ve had relations with.

Competitive_Pen2282 · 2021-06-28T08:55:59+00:00

I did monkey branching and never regretted it. Men were just okay to stay around so I didn't have incentive to break relationships making all the drama, but they didn't put enough effort for me to be loyal and not fall in love with a new man who put more effort and treated me better.

richlad · 2021-06-28T11:56:29+00:00

Women branch swinging away from you is very common think for men to observe.

But for women it's more emotional separation that matters than physical so you can see a woman with a guy on Monday and on Tuesday she's with another guy you think "branch swing" but woman will tell you she lost interest in him 2 weeks ago and was already separate not physically but emotionally.

That's the only difference.

Anyways it's always good to the branch which a woman swings to than the branch she left. Soo? Flirt with the wives of your enemies, rivals, wooee them - there is no pleasure in the world unlike sleeping with the wife of your enemy.

Superfluous_Toast · 2021-06-28T18:45:48+00:00

Nope. When relationships end for me, I have to take a break and be single for a while. Reestablishing who I am as an individual is important, only then can I go into something new with a clear mind and a strong sense of where my boundaries are.

AppropriateDamage991 · 2021-11-18T07:23:59+00:00

Yes I did.

When I was 20 I dated a cute guy in college (let's call him D) for a little while. I had a major crush on him and thought we really liked each other but we were never a couple. While I was pursuing/being pursued by him, my male best friend at the time (T) told me he liked me and I turned him down and we stayed friends.

At the end of Summer D "broke up" with me, actually he just made it very apparent that we were not a thing anymore. I wasn't expecting this and basically threw myself at T to soothe my pain and we ended up having a relationship in which I was constantly trying to explain to him and everyone else that it was not a relationship rather just me and my best friend having sex, but the more I did that the more T acted like we were a couple and we acted as a couple for 6 months until I finally found the guts to break up with him. Breaking up with him was difficult because I was losing my friend as well, but I knew I wasn't happy or in love with him. I could never see a future with him. I didn't like him physically. He embarrassed me. I felt horribly guilty the whole time we were together. And I must admit I couldn't be alone at that time. It was my second year of college, my parents were finally separating as my father took off with his long term, 25 years younger affair partner, leaving my mother shattered, I was constantly drunk and/or high and suffering from anorexia/bulimia. It was really bad.

T had introduced me to a friend of his, let's call him M. M and I had a few things in common and a strong intellectual connection which I did not share with T. M started crushing on me and I found myself thinking about him more often. I did not feel like I was being unfaithful to T since I didn't love him. I started confiding in M how frustrated I was with my situation and with the fact that everyone thought T was my boyfriend. Eventually I found the strength to leave T as I was beginning a relationship with M.

So for the following 6 years I had a very painful, toxic, terrible on again off again relationship with M while feeling horribly guilty towards T and hating myself. I basically wasted my entire early 20s just because I couldn't deal with the heartache of some random dude dumping me.

When things ended with M I felt really empty and couldn't see myself with anybody else anytime soon. I ended up grieving for a couple months and then just as I was starting to feel better I started a relationship with another man, that lasted 2 years. Now that it's over, I want to process my emotions and I won't date until I feel completely fine bc I'd like the next relationship to actually work out.

blue_dandelions · 2021-06-27T17:58:16+00:00

Yes,never been single over a month.

I’m a serial ltr girl, I never pursued them I just somehow ended up dating.

I’ve never cheated but I have dated quickly after break ups. Don’t regret anything, my experiences were mostly gd.

milkyymochii · 2021-06-28T00:50:51+00:00

I’m always at my best after a fresh break up. Idk something about finally ridding myself of a male ex just invigorates my soul. I try to stay single for as long as possible but males approach me en masse and I usually get ball & chained by a promising male after a few months of single freedom. So no branching swinging, more like branching avoiding on my end.

Title	Monkey Branching/Branch Swinging
Author	rgoose18
Upvotes	0
Comments	59
Date	June 27, 2021 1:15 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/o8ww5v/monkey_branchingbranch_swinging/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/monkey-branchingbranch-swinging.787196 https://theredarchive.com/post/787196

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