So I just had an interesting convo with FortunateBum and wanted to start a thread to get the thoughts of other PurplePill posters.

I said I wanted to be treated with 'emotional gentleness' in an LTR. I used the word 'tenderness' but am leaving it out here because I think it has a few definitions and I think there many be some confusion (which I'm trying to avoid). The person I was talking with seemed to be of the opinion that this is not something women want, it is something we may say we want, but in fact to be treated this way is a display of male weakness that will result in us/the woman losing interest.

I'm going to speak for myself only here. I like masculine men. It would even be true to say I like very masculine men. But I do not think it's impossible for a masculine man to express kindness or gentleness without 'weakening' his masculinity. In fact displays of kindness in a man I perceive as masculine are very attractive, especially when the kindness is expressed towards someone or something that he stands to gain no benefit from (example: men who love their pets unashamedly, I will instantly feel positively predisposed to a man who is kind to animals). It speaks to a security in his own masculinity that he is able to express these things without feeling his man-card is under threat, or that I would perceive his man-card as under threat.

Is this the same thing as being a pushover? As being someone whose default position is 'nice' due to insecurity/wanting to be liked? No. Not to me. An ex was the boss at his workplace and would, due to the nature of the job, spend all day bossing other people around. I saw him at work a few times and it was sexy as hell to witness, the competence, the fact that he could boss other people without being an asshole, the fact that he could maintain his status without needing to resort to screaming at people, insulting them etc. Then he would come home to me, and be sweet with me. Even the way he touched me (non-sexually) was different to the way he touched people he worked with (again, the job required physical contact). Everything about his demeanour with me was different to the way it was when he worked. He was solicitous with me, he smiled at me, he obviously cared that I feel his concern, that I feel his opinion that I alone was special to him in this way.

Check out some shitty romance novels. A large portion of them involve some kind of alpha male who is at the same time cherishes the female lead. Treats her with great care.

So what are your thoughts and experiences here? Women - do you feel that male kindness/gentleness is weakness? Does it depend on context? Describe how.

Men - same questions.

(and please, please, I beg of everyone, can we not start telling people they don't feel or haven't experienced what they say they feel/have experienced?)

EDIT: Here is the link to my convo with FortunateBum: http://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/20hvsx/on_language_and_its_uses_rp_vs_bp/cg50in1