Sort of inspired by the recent post that presented a woman's "List of Things She Likes" as being entitled to those things. I'm not sure what the problem is -- Knowing your partner's list of "likes" is useful if you are in a relationship. The more you know about your partner's likes and dislikes, the more thoughtfully you can tailor your romantic gestures.

In a system where "having a preference" is viewed as "being entitled to that preference", there is no room for thoughtfulness. It creates an atmosphere of "what's my motivation?", in which both sides jealously guard their willingness to go out of their way for their partner in any way unless it's earned. This seems like a DOA sort of arrangement for a relationship to me.

ie, I do my bf's dishes because I know he hates doing them and it makes him really happy. I don't wait to do them until he gives me some sort of motivation or incentive. The incentive is seeing his face relax when he realizes his dishes are done and knowing that I'm visibly improving his day - My 'reward' is, very simply, seeing him happy, because I love him and it gives me pleasure. This sort of mentality doesn't seem prevalent in RP -- Is this a BP thing? Is RP opposed to romantic gestures?

What's ya'll's view on thoughtfulness/romantic gestures/surprising your partner with small acts or gifts just to make them happy?