What is the absolute minimum/maximum amount of time you require to meet someone?

MyLastBestChance · 2023-02-18T00:22:33+00:00

If a first meeting isn’t set within 3 days of matching I’m gone. If the date isn’t going to occur within a week of setting it (outside of extraordinarily circumstances) I’m gone.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2023-02-18T00:09:21+00:00

It’s not about a specific amount of time that needs to pass before I go out on a date with a man; it’s about figuring out what his intentions are, do we have anything in common and were we on the same page in terms of terms of goals/future plans. It doesn’t make sense to spend even more time and money meeting up with someone you’re not compatible with. Sleeping with non-compatible men is a big L for women. That is why screening is so important. It’s the quality of the questions being asked in the chat rather than the number of chats and how long we chat for.

So in short it’s quality of chats over quantity of time spent chatting that is important. You can’t just wait out a magical time and then poof date/drinks/sex. Well that’s assuming your looking for quality but if not it will take less time and depend on her mood that day.

Dagenius1 · 2023-02-18T00:16:29+00:00

Lol 2 weeks is ridiculous. I would say a week maximum and hopefully within a few days

anonymous-platypus1 · 2023-02-17T23:56:07+00:00

Hmmm. I’d say a couple days to a week, but it would depend on my schedule. I would get instantly turned off and annoyed if a guy asks me “what are you doing right now”. Especially if it was a weekday.

ComfortableOk5003 · 2023-02-18T02:55:52+00:00

A week max. If she can’t do that I just assume she’s not that interested and other guys are higher up on her list. Not wasting time on being backup

dank_summers · 2023-02-18T00:09:13+00:00

Should be within a week from the day you moved your communication off the dating app.

Ideally a date should be loosely agreed to within the dating app conversation and the reason they are giving you their number is to plan the logistics of the date.

Relative_Bee8356 · 2023-02-18T00:28:18+00:00

I am female.

When I was single I didn't have a ton of interest in texting strangers so I'd usually set up a date for that week after just a few exchanges and not text much leading up to it. If I was busy that week I just wouldn't bother responding to messages until my schedule cleared up. My dates frequently cited this as something they appreciated about me, and remarked that it was somewhat unusual.

Pretty much the same for meeting in person -- I'd text to set up a date and not text much til then. Maybe a little more since we'd already met and talked some and I knew for sure that some attraction was there.

I don't know what my maximum time was but I'd get real bored real quick if we couldn't meet IRL sooner rather than later. The one and only time a guy told me he preferred to get to know each other over text first, I told him thanks but no thanks, hit me up to arrange something if you change your mind.

NockerJoe · 2023-02-18T02:08:06+00:00

In a world where most online matches ghost within like 3 messages and people just kind of fading on you online is a well understood social norm not a lot of men are going to be cool with taking two weeks just to chat on a dating app. Not once when I've agreed to a two week timeframe has a date ever actually materialized from it, compared to a couple of days to the following weekend.

Its the same as a lot of women on dating subs who claim they want to wait like two to four months to have sex but wonder why the men assume the relationship will be sexless and leave. Thats a common concern and thats the signal being given.

In the current dynamic the safest bet as a man is a woman who's willing to meet up with you reasonably quickly and is enthusiastic about being around you. Theres too many relationships that go nowhere to acceot a vague promise that at some point in the future you'll get what most relationships have at a default starting point.

anon018274031 · 2023-02-18T09:02:56+00:00

Woman here.

Yeah needs to be fast otherwise I wonder what they are hiding/does this reflect that they aren’t a get up and go sorta person? Also I will overthink and get nervous if we wait too long

TaxNegative161 · 2023-02-17T23:56:59+00:00

I can usually decide if I want to meet them within a few texts. I wouldn't text (at a very casual / low volume) for more than a week in order for her to agree to meet. If she hasn't got a gauge on my likelihood of endangering her safety by then, then I'll move on.

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FaceTheJury · 2023-02-18T00:13:54+00:00

I met my husband a few hours after we matched/had our first message. Soooo a few hours was the minimum. Lol. 2 weeks seems like a long time bc then you’re wasting all of the easy flirty get to know you conversation. There were guys who I spoke to on the phone for hours and then when we met IRL the chemistry just was not there. There is no amount of “vetting” that will create chemistry IRL so I think it’s best to just set up a date to meet for a quick drink bc then you can both be out of there in 30 minutes or drinks can turn into dinner. It also wastes the least amount of time and manages expectations so you don’t get your hopes up.

northernlights190 · 2023-02-18T00:47:46+00:00

I am a woman. I like to plan a date within the first 5-10 messages and I usually ask first. If we’ve matched for more than a few days and haven’t made at least a loose plan, I mentally move on.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-02-18T05:14:12+00:00

I have no minimum (depending on the circumstances). If they weren't being cagey and had a legitimate reason (mother on death bed, et cetera) I would give them a chance at a first date depending on how they handled the delay. So I would wait indefinitely unless I were about to become exclusive with someone else, in which case, there would be no date/that would be the limit, because I don't date other people while in an exclusive relationship.

ashleyrose56 · 2023-02-18T05:28:40+00:00

A couple of days and maximum 1 week. 2 weeks? I'm out, I'm not interested in having a chatbot.

PsychologicalHand155 · 2023-02-18T05:36:37+00:00

It depends. Varies between a few days and up to 2 weeks.

I work. I don’t want to go to a first date after working most of the time. It takes a few days to figure out if you are a match or not and get a feel of the guy before meeting them in person

New_Relative_8709 · 2023-02-18T05:44:07+00:00

3 days max

Imagine spending 2 weeks texting someone, lol

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2023-02-18T06:43:56+00:00

I have only ever met 1 person and it was either 5 or 6 weeks of talking

roger61962 · 2023-02-18T11:04:56+00:00

I.d.c. OLD sucks. If you speak "venusish" - that double meaning female hidden language - it is fun. But IRL things are 90% non verbal - that is hard to transport in OLD. If i'd want a pen pal i'd be a 14yo girl....

KingOnixTheThird · 2023-02-18T15:52:35+00:00

You should be making plans to meet up within 1-2 days of talking to them online. If you wait too long, they will simply lose interest and move on. Remember, women have dozens of other men trying to hit them up, so if you don't make a move, some other guy will.

If a woman isn't willing to meet up with you, then chances are she doesn't like you that much or she's on there to validate her ego and has no intention of meeting up. A woman who's at least a bit interested will be willing to meet up.

Pick a public location for a first date where you don't have to spend too much money. The first date is essentially a "job interview" where you see how much you two vibe in person, so a coffee shop is a good choice for a date.

thedeadpill · 2023-02-18T20:12:32+00:00

I don’t think there’s some minimum or maximum… but, generally, I’ll want to meet for a public date within a few days. If that’s too fast or ‘risky’, that just means we’re not a good match.

Highonuppers · 2023-02-18T23:54:15+00:00

Well I think it depends how much we’ve been getting to know each other through text. Personally, I would say a reasonable amount of time would be no longer than two weeks. I want to know the basic information of someone before meeting up. I met my boyfriend two weeks after texting, mainly because we were both busy and also I was kind anxious to meet up too soon, but that’s just me.

butterfly_cats · 2023-02-21T07:55:31+00:00

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2009-07-29/evolution-makes-women-more-attractive/1371676

https://www.sciotocountydailynews.com/why-are-women-more-attractive-than-men/

Statistically, women are judged to be more attractive. Some say it's an evolutionary trait because men are more likely to pick looks over personality whereas women choose personality so men don't need to be attractive.

Also, not being attractive is actually likely to work out in a man's favour since he's more likely to emotionally invest and act like a better partner to win a woman over.

https://www.esquire.com/uk/life/a17209/women-happier-uglier-men/

Title	What is the absolute minimum/maximum amount of time you require to meet someone?
Author	FutureBannedAccount2
Upvotes	4
Comments	60
Date	February 17, 2023 11:48 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1151bmi/what_is_the_absolute_minimummaximum_amount_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-the-absolute-minimummaximum-amount-of-time.1152270 https://theredarchive.com/post/1152270

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