Why some man whine about women not expressing an interest first or initiating anything but simultaneously if woman does, they feel emasculated and are ashamed of their partner taking initiatives while in public?

So Im the one who likes to be the egalitarian or dominant in relationships. In every relationtionship i used to express an interest first, initiated a kiss first, intimacy first, loved to give compliments to my partners, always went 50-50. And yeh some did reject me sure, but usually guys who enjoyed my nature privately still tried to make me look more submissive in the eyes of their inner circle. I could never understand that, as an example my ex and i were having a chill evening with his friends and their partners the topic of the relationships came up. We started speaking about origins of our relationships and I on my side retold the story of me finding him hot and messaging him first. And unexpected happened out of nowhere he got angry and and shut down. We had an ugly fight later on and at the end broke up. If some men do want more egalitarian and dominant women why are they ashamed of someone else seeing that their relationship doesnt follow the common, more traditional course? Ill give one more example, with the second ex, when we used to dine together and he was short of cash to go 50-50 hed ask me to give him my card so he would pay. I undestand, that it has to do with their fragile sense of masculinity, but m why date women like me then, If you want someone more traditional?