Do you ever get offended when certain men think they stand a chance with you

velvthamr · 2023-12-10T23:44:03+00:00

I have never been rude or looked down on a guy for flirting with me or showing interest.

After getting asked out, I kindly and genuinely have always said “That’s so flattering! I appreciate you being so up-front. I’m (in a relationship, not looking, married) but I’m very flattered.” and then end the conversation.

It’s ok to not be attracted to someone but it takes ALOT of courage to ask a woman out.

youllknowwhenitstime · 2023-12-10T23:35:44+00:00

You will be hit on by any man you spend time around. Take the bus? The bus crowd will hit on you. Go to med school? Future doctors will hit on you. Hang out with your friend's friends who sit on the couch and smoke weed? The stoners will hit on you. Go to church? Well, maybe "hit" is the wrong word but you'll get church boy attention, however that looks.

Whatever neighborhood you're walking in, their denizens will hit on you.

You ARE the reason any man is hitting on you, because you control where you spend your time. Don't like the quality level? Go somewhere else.

ResponsibleUmpire752 · 2023-12-11T02:12:30+00:00

No because I never make assumptions about 1) what a guy wants from me, if anything, or 2) what he's genuinely like overall. I'm friendly and gracious to anyone who's polite. If anything, I'd try to introduce a decent guy I wasn't into to a friend who might be, or just be pleasant and dance with him or something but without leading him on. So no, I've never found men annoying in the way you describe.

Egoistchan · 2023-12-10T22:58:41+00:00

No. And I think this is entitled attitude towards a group of people you perceive as being beneath you, even though they're interacting with you positively and may even have something to offer that isn't immediately observable.

Strawberries_n_Chill · 2023-12-10T23:26:33+00:00

Take it as a compliment and keep it moving.

mistressusa · 2023-12-10T23:21:30+00:00

Ugh this is such an unattractive attitude.

Pretend-Term-1639 · 2023-12-11T03:52:48+00:00

I gave every man that was kind and brave enough to ask me out two dates, excluding obvious drug addicts, gang members or men who were safety concerns. It did not matter what they looked like, where we were going, whether I was attracted to them, how much money they made, how old they were, anything. I figured that if they could come up to me, then why wouldn't I spend time and learn more about them. As for the 2nd date, I figured that everyone gets nervous, Lord knows I do, so why not? I will say that I really enjoyed dating. All of my friends complacent about dating, saying that it was a chore. I met really interesting men. Was it always a love match? No. I never led the men on in any way. If I didn't feel a pigtail connection, I would not touch or kiss them. I had a lot of fun and made a lot of friend, navy of whom I am still friends with today. I think rejecting men who have the audacity to ask you out because you feel like they are beneath you is like judging a book by the cover. I grew up in a wealthy community. The wealthiest people in the community looked homeless, or unhoused if you want to be pc😊. You could be missing out on some amazing men just based on superficial criterion. Are you willing to miss our on a huge opportunity because you are being superficial?

ygfam · 2023-12-10T23:37:13+00:00

girl.. get off your high horse its not that deep LOL, why would they not shoot their shot?

DunboyCastleInTheSky · 2023-12-11T17:19:57+00:00

Yes omg I was that way in college and early adulthood. ESPECIALLY when it was clear they weren’t going anywhere in life or held very little value in the dating pool. Now that I’m older and married, I’m thankful that don’t have to worry about it anymore.

Bright-Row-3565 · 2023-12-11T09:19:29+00:00

And when you wouldn’t have gotten ant attention at all, that will be a different cry. I get what you’re saying like, I go to almost the same thing. But I don’t think that’s a their problem but more of a me problem. You can’t control who approaches you

TheBunk_TB · 2023-12-11T14:36:56+00:00

Many heterosexual men like having sex with women

You don't owe them anything, but courtesy and honesty are worth something.

Entitled? They probably prefer that no one waste their time, but most won't be entitled after a certain age.

ArkNemesis00 · 2023-12-11T16:57:15+00:00

I think it might help to change your assumption of their expectations. Part of what's upsetting you is that you think that they think they have a reasonable shot.

I think a lot of men go into it thinking "I have nothing to lose". Almost like a lottery ticket.

CountTheBees · 2023-12-10T23:54:03+00:00

I think such a reaction is perfectly natural, because women fear that being seen around the wrong men lowers their desirability to preferred mates, but it doesn't really matter that much if its only for a minute. Also you don't have to act on the impulse. Men shoot their shot, relationships wouldn't begin if they didn't. As long as they can take a No it's fine, there's no expectations beyond that single encounter, and it doesn't reflect poorly on you to be approached. A simple "no thank you" with a smile sends the right message. Any men observing you will likely think "what a sweet girl, she wasn't even mean to that dirtbag."

In most cases the encounter lasts no more than a couple of sentences and you can always say "I have a boyfriend" even if you don't. Most times I don't even have to pull that line out and just wait for them to excuse themself. Unless they openly ask something of you there's no need to say yes or no to anything. Normally the introduction just peters out and I don't have to actually reject them.

I think you are being hyperbolic about the "let me breathe" part? Surely this happens no more than once a day? Once a day is a little intrusive but certainly not stifling. And I don't really understand why men are approaching you even when you are with a man. That's very odd. It means that they are probably extremely uninhibited, likely under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

If your image is very sexy then you might consider toning that down and going for a classier image. That should at least stop men from approaching you solely for sex. Being in places like clubs or out late at night where and when alcohol or drug consumption is rampant would also increase the chances of this occurring.

If it does happen when you're with a man there's several things you can do. Get physically closer into him, and show with your body language that you prefer him. Then say the usual polite Nos. Saying close to him in general will discourage approaches.

Objective_School_738 · 2023-12-10T23:25:30+00:00

Why do you assume that they’re thinking about sex?

I used to be bothered by unwanted attention from strangers but I’ve had to change that negative viewpoint for my own mental health. Maybe they’re just friendly. Maybe seeing a pretty woman made their day. Whatever the case may be, it’s usually pretty innocent. A little smile is usually enough of an acknowledgment without encouraging engagement. Just take the compliment and move on.

sasanessa · 2023-12-11T08:04:06+00:00

confidence is key lmao. would you rather not be approached by anyone?

Reggie-_ · 2023-12-11T01:25:45+00:00

I’ve never seen you, so of course, it's possible that you are stunningly beautiful – let's say a 9 or 10.

And given that women only date across and upward in social hierarchies, that would mean you would only want to date another 9 or 10. (btw there’s nothing wrong with this behaviour – it’s a proven evolutionary female process)

Men usually date across and down social hierarchies. Even further down if he’s not looking for anything serious. Hence why a guy who is a 9, will happily go home with a 2 and enjoy himself.

However, this only really becomes a problem when objectively average women (say a 6) elevate themselves - at least in their minds - to a 9 or 10. This is becoming much more common now. It leaves them frustrated because the guys they think are ‘on their level’ will sleep with them but will never commit to a relationship. Whilst they alienate all the potentially good guys they deem to be below them.

But assuming you are very attractive, then take each guys approach - whether he is a 2 or 10 - as a compliment. You’re under no obligation to anyone. My only advice is to be polite. It could be worse… you could actually be a real 2, and never face the ‘torture’ of being pretty 😜

Neep-Tune · 2023-12-11T12:18:08+00:00

It is because what is important to you is not for every one. Maybe some of those guys are really nice guy and funny and they think you can fall in love with them if you are not superficial.

okko1001 · 2023-12-11T14:51:14+00:00

yes absolutely but even moreso when they make Zero Effort compared to if theyre simply ugly or low status but at least tried to be a gentleman

peace_love_mcl · 2023-12-11T11:47:45+00:00

It’s ok boo, took some courage to post this knowing that it would be ripped. I’m like another couple posters where I understand where you’re coming from, it starts to make you question your own value when it’s all low value guys hitting on you all of the time. My advice would be to always act kind but stern in your response, because you never know who is watching😉

1zJqjxHm0 · 2023-12-10T23:40:02+00:00

I get what youre saying OP. Though im not offended about it, i dont take it personal cause i know theyre just the same towards any attractive girl. i think its funny how delusional some men are, but i also think they had probably been with women who had low self-esteem that ego boosted them so they think they have a chance with another attractive woman.

Subject-Scientist719 · 2023-12-11T14:44:28+00:00

This is the Red Pill Women forum.

So here's your humbling opportunity.

Your claims to value are that you're fit, pretty, & want to learn more. Welcome to about 50% of the female population.

You're not special.

It is possibly the case that the men who are approaching you are actually your real value. Your actual value. Your marriage value.

Remember, it is extremely hard for modern women to actually know their real marriage value because almost all of the barriers to giving women fake marriage attention have broken down (reputation damage, being perceived as a player, rejection risks, these have all mostly collapsed for men). So women commonly mistake sexual attention for committment attention.

Remember, most men will stick their pecker into almost any hole they can find.

So swallow some humility and consider that you may actually not be as desirable as you think you are.

Ok_Outside149 · 2023-12-11T07:17:05+00:00

OP I get you. It’s particularly offensive when men older than my father attempt it. In what world is that gonna happen grandpa. May not be very graceful but oh well that’s what I’m thinking

Classic_Touch · 2023-12-11T13:08:01+00:00

I get the same feeling with 70% - 80% of men who try anything with me. Seriously, I have no clue what makes them think we would even be a good match. Plus I would never lower who I am to be with someone. I would end up hating myself and resenting them till I broke up with them. I am adding some context because of comments I read. One I am never rude about it unless they are distasteful. Two I am around a great class of men but still find some gross (don't take care of health and half my life is dedicated to taking care of my body) or men I don't know asking from my life. On the flip side any man of value wouldn't want me because I can't have kids and my work life has no balance. I refuse to give up my career as it is fulfilling with a lot of value to the country as a whole. I am ok with not settling for someone I won't be happy with for my career that makes me happy.

Abandons65 · 2023-12-11T18:48:47+00:00

… asking you out doesn’t mean they feel entitled to having sex w you. Stop looking down on other people and feeling superior just because you look pretty and exercise. Very bad attitude to have.

ewwwww72627 · 2023-12-11T05:38:21+00:00

This question makes perfect sense - why is everyone in the comment acting “holier than thou” and telling OP to get off their high horse? Sure it sounds bad but come on it’s something that everyone thinks (to some degree) but not everyone dares to say out loud. Imagine you worked out, super fit, put so much effort into looks, is a 10/10 and a 300 lbs crusty ass man thinks he has a chance with you - who wouldn’t be mildly offended? Obviously my example shows the 2 extreme end of the spectrum but it is used to illustrate my point. And this applies to other facets (intelligence, education, income level, etc…) not just looks. Everyone is a hypocrite for being offended over OP’s question. As long as she politely rejects and does not do so condescendingly what’s the problem here?

shockedpikachu123 · 2023-12-11T06:36:46+00:00

I think it takes a lot of courage to come up to someone to compliment them. Usually I’m flattered and say thank you then move along. I only get annoyed when I’m at the gym with headphones in . or they sneak up behind me at a grocery store with ulterior motives like “hey! Are you shopping for vegan food. Any recommendations ? Im trying to change my diet and eat healthier. gives them recommendations. Also can I get your number?”

AutoModerator · 2023-12-10T22:46:52+00:00

Title: Do you ever get offended when certain men think they stand a chance with you

Author ImpossibleDrama4910

Full text: I know this question is kind of…😅

Sometimes, when certain boys flirt with me and assume they have a chance I get kind of offended. Not because I’m “so great” but because I’ve put in so much effort into who I am now. I eat well, exercise, look pretty & I’m very committed to learning more etc

When I see boys come up to me, not shy at all, assuming they could have sex with me it just…ew

Some of these guys are addicted to alcohol, younger, not in shape, or just uncommitted to life (imo). They don’t have ideal lives and do not care to change them

If they could also make their life better and instead choose not to, why do they act like I owe them something? Why do they feel entitled to my time/attention, while not caring to at least make themselves bearable to be around?

I wish they would let me breathe

(Please don’t hate me for this question, I know it’s not very kind) and ultimately, everyone deserves love (but not from me)

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aussiedollface2 · 2023-12-11T23:28:50+00:00

If only men you consider low value approach you then you are also low value. Men are shooting their shot, I wouldn’t care too much.

Contemporary-Hermit · 2023-12-12T02:35:35+00:00

Yes. It actually worries me… means I’m slipping.

enigmatic223 · 2023-12-11T20:50:27+00:00

Sis I couldn’t agree more, I hate when a dusty blinks my way, I work far too hard, I’m pretty and I work out and maintain a good physique, I am classy and respect myself and I carry myself very well.

In a blue moon when I do attract a low value man, who isn’t attractive/fit/clearly looks broke I get offended, what part of him thought he would ever have a chance? Is he insane? My head starts clicking 🤣

New_Perspective_8615 · 2023-12-11T21:01:17+00:00

Narcissist

Title	Do you ever get offended when certain men think they stand a chance with you
Author	ImpossibleDrama4910
Upvotes	17
Comments	118
Date	December 10, 2023 10:46 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/18ffnes/do_you_ever_get_offended_when_certain_men_think/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/do-you-ever-get-offended-when-certain-men-think.1240438 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240438

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