Getting a "wealthy" man..

ModernClassicLady · 2016-11-26T07:10:51+00:00

Looks has very little to do with meeting a well-off man. I'll be honest, I don't know any millionaires, but of the upper middle class married or LTR guys I know (own their home or live in a luxury apartment, take international vacations, eat out as much as they want within reason, etc.), their wives/girlfriends have these traits in common:

Willing to contribute to household finances. Whether she is making six figures or just working as a secretary, they want their woman to be willing to contribute to household finances. Yes, some of the women take time off from work to raise children and what not, but they eventually return to some sort of full-time or part-time work - they are productive and (key word) willing to contribute instead of being takers or kept women.
They don't mind being cheap. These men may have money in the bank, but they still budget, still shop at the dollar store from time to time, and still absolutely LOVE cheap, greasy food truck food on occasion. They expect their wives/gfs to also partake in these habits and not be stuck up.
The women are educated. All of the women have some sort of college degree - some have an associates degree, most have a bachelors degree, and a couple have masters or phds.
They have shared interests and values - their politics align, their ideas on family life align, and they share some hobbies. This varies from couple to couple. Some of them, kids are really important, whereas others choose to be childfree. Some of the couples are conservative and others are liberal. Hobbies range from watching sports, to playing video games, to enjoying the same type of music - anything really, again, just depends on the individual people.

As for looks, it's all over the place. Some of the women have girl-next-door or typical suburban house mom looks. Some of them are more trendy or hipster looking. Some of them are super fit and work out all the time. Yes, some of them are overweight or obese. It's really across the board.

Just be yourself, continuously improve yourself, and have standards. Never date a guy for his money. Date him for his personality. If he is a loser or never even aspires or desires to better himself beyond minimum wage work, however, then you can know he doesn't meet your standards... as long as you're working beyond that yourself, that is.

PiperZepp · 2016-11-26T13:28:06+00:00

I have a very wealthy husband. I think it was F Scott Fitzgerald who said something like, if you want to marry for money, befriend lots of rich people, then marry for love. It's the same with "upper middle class" I'm sure. From what I've experienced, with wealth comes very active social lives. It feels like you know everyone. People in this circle are not using online dating apps or chatting up strangers in bars. You meet people socially through friends so taking the chance on 'strangers' is completely unnecessary. What is your social circle like? What are the men like you are interacting with day to day? I met my husband at business school, although I stopped working after we married. When we met we were 26/29 but we just friends/acquaintances for long while before we started dating, as we were both in other relationships when we met. My husband would have never come up to me at a bar or in a fitness class or something. He was attracted to me (love at first sight he says) but it wasn't until we had mutual friends and were at the same parties regularly etc that he considered me as a potential romantic partner.

Willow-girl · 2016-11-26T14:59:25+00:00

My last husband was fairly wealthy. We met online, on a chat forum (not a singles forum). I had posted that my then-husband and I were splitting up. After a decent interval, he sent me a private message indicting he liked my style and would like to get to know me better, and things progressed from there. He lived 400 miles away, so we did the LDR thing for about a year and a half before I chose to relocate here. The marriage didn't last, so maybe in hindsight, not the best decision, but as luck would have it, the man of my dreams ended up living only 20 miles away! :-D

But I digress. What I can tell you about wealthy men: they are constantly bombarded with offers from women. From what I gathered from my ex (and I have no reason to believe he wasn't being truthful) women will quite frequently make a more-or-less bald-faced business proposition to trade sex for the ability to share a man's comfortable lifestyle. So, expect a wealthy man to be somewhat jaded in this regard. If you're going to try to entice him with any sort of feminine wiles, you'd better be very, very good at your game, because he's probably seen it all already and will be on to you in a heartbeat. They are very skilled at detecting women who are just looking for a soft place to land, because they've seen so many already.

Now for the down side: IMO, men with a lot of money tend to be lazy in relationships. They're used to their money attracting and keeping women, so they're not inclined to give of themselves or go out of their way to make you happy (other than by buying stuff). They think their money (nice house, etc.) should be sufficient. They're used to having women who don't make demands on them (other than financial), and they have great abundance mentality, hence no incentive to really move outside their comfort zone. They complain about being used as walking wallets, but at the end of the day, it seems that's really all they want to be! I didn't marry for money, so I found this very unsatisfying.

In my case, I think my husband was attracted because I was very different from the women he was accustomed to (as my flair states, I'm a country girl, LOL), but once we got together, he had no idea what to do with me! We were just too different, and at the end of the day, neither of us were happy in the other's world. Frankly, I found it exhausting -- I'd spend all day shoveling cow shit at my animal sanctuary, then have to rush home and get gussied up for a wine tasting with him and his friends! Obviously this wouldn't be a problem for a woman who wants to integrate into a rich man's sphere, so probably not a good example. I'll end on a cautionary note -- the old saying, "The person who marries for money ends up earning every penny."

TheRedStoic · 2016-11-26T14:17:21+00:00

I'm definitely in the class your mentioning so I'd like to provide the biggest thing I've seen as a marker:

Proximity.

You need to be around wealth to marry wealth, it's overwhelmingly true, there are rare exceptions. Most of my friends are wealthy, my family is, I am, the majority of my ltrs are, and the thing they all have in common is proximity. They do similar things at similar places, spend money on the same types of things, have the same general taste in hobbies and vacations, and in general the same perspective on finances.

I also need to point out the difference between wealth and well off. Well off, "upper middle class and rich" usually doesn't have the cultural gatekeeper or exclusivity wealth does. Finding well off people can work easily, though proximity is still important. You can find rich people everywhere really, you just need to be present and go looking. Trying to break into a wealthy culture however is much more difficult. You're sort of raised in it and can just... I don't know exactly, sense it. A lifetime of conditioning makes a big difference. Being well off is usually based on hard work and a skill set, being wealthy is every bit as much a mindset as luck on birth. Just like you can find a lot of people who can defend themselves but build a sixth sense about violent convicts. There's something innately different in the mentality and the little things.

Regardless of which you're pursuing, you need to actually be in proximity, preferably physical proximity, to those types of people. You need to do the same general things, in the same general places.

Igotsfeelingstho · 2016-11-26T14:29:35+00:00

I feel like the attitude and amount of ambition a man has matters a lot as well. When I first met my fiancé he was between jobs and crashing with a friend. I didn't mind his financial state because he seemed to be very hard working and ambitious, and he had clear intentions of turning this issue around. My fiancé does not have a college degree, but does have a strong background in carpentering and manual labor. He took on 3 jobs at once and was able to achieve some big successes at 1 of his company, and now he is a regional manager and is making way more than enough money to support all of our bills and then some (I still contribute a bit, but he insists that I focus on finishing school rather than finances which is a good plan to help me finish up quickly.) We are even relocating across the country soon due to an opportunity he received to start a new division of his company there. We will take a month vacation to travel and explore the country before we do!

Now, when I met my fiancé and he was crashing on a couch with no job, I probably never would have thought things would change this quickly. But his level of fire and ambition was so admirable that I fell head over heels! Not to mention his kindness, humble values and intellect. I'm not saying you should necessarily go for someone in that position but you should also focus on their values and ability to work hard. A man who truly wants the best for you will work hard to provide for you, regardless of the circumstances. My fiance states that falling in love with me pushed him even harder to build a foundation. It is true for myself as well; he pushes me to grow and acheive as well.The other ladies commenting are also giving some great advice; I think you should consider all of these suggestions.good luck!

Gardrothard · 2016-11-26T09:17:19+00:00

Actually in many cases they are one of the easiest men to get commitment from and most naive ones.

Type to aim for

Those had low SMV when they were young and used it as motivation, or worked their ass of for decades and didn't focus much on dating. These guys are easy to manipulate. But they tend to be a bit awkward or too beta. But some of them might be hidden gems if you let them open a bit.

The thing to note is that most women around them want their money and these women use different strategies. One of them is the classic gold-digger behavior and she's obvious in her intentions. This turns them off, of course. The other strategy is to pretend to be completely disinterested in their money and job, in order to hide true intentions. The second strategy works, but not so well. The thing is, if he's wealthy he's working hard and his job is very important to him and he's proud for having that money. Being completely disinterested in these makes him feel insecure and suddenly he will feel like the high school boy who had nothing going on for him. This insecurity might cause him to back off.

The key is to play and manipulate on that insecurity. You should act as if you were dating any other man. You should be interested in his work (because that's a big part of his life) but not too much. The key is to make him feel like you like that awkward high school boy, but you do acknowledge and respect his accomplishments. To seem like a woman who would have been there for the journey, but wasn't because life sucks and you didn't get to meet him on time.

This guy is as blue pill as it gets. He's wealthy because that's what everyone told him to do, now he will get married because that's what you do. So, besides showing the above qualities you need to show him that you can be a good mother. As far as the looks are concerned you don't have to be anything special. Being skinny and taking care is enough, it doesn't matter if your genes are that good.

If you provide him with slutty sex that's it. He's essentially sick of being looked at as BB and if you make him feel like he's your AF you've won him over.

How to spot him

Usually grew up in middle class family. Respect for social rules. Does things by the book. Buys good clothes because of his friends, not because he actually cares.

kitschisland · 2016-11-26T13:57:00+00:00

You could join a dating website. I'm sure there are a lot of programmers/engineers you could meet, good income guaranteed.

How to keep one? Be a good girlfriend, a good person. Find someone you have something in common with and who shares your values.

OrderMoreMoney · 2016-11-26T15:09:15+00:00

I'm not sure how much my boyfriend makes (I don't want to ask) but he has his own restaurant as a side project, works at a financial firm recruiting investors, and I know his parents own a company each. We take a few vacations every year.

To echo what others have said, many people at our level just have very big social circles. I met my current boyfriend through my cousin.

I'm currently in China, so keep in mind my experience may be different. Rich guys have tons of pretty supermodel type women throwing themselves at them (Especially Eastern-European women right now). Only the insecure or asshole-player types would go after the insanely pretty women specifically, use them as a status symbol, and they'd get pumped and dumped within a few years. When they get married (most people get married in this country) it'll be with a good girl without much life experience and below them a little in either money or class or looks, because women are less likely to cheat when they date up and everyone here knows that.

[deleted] · 2016-11-26T17:02:24+00:00

Not me but one of my best friends is married to a very rich man. He is sigma outlier though so not a celebrity but now in his niche almost a legend. When they met he was relatively new to the business, a kind of sigma outlier version of upper middle class so to say.

She is good looking but not a model type. Just a normal woman who eats healthy and does some workout. With full make up, heels and dress she does turn heads but usually she dresses very modestly. Came from upper middle class background, went to university but most of her intelligence is honestly just being very well read, interested in specific cultures and by extension studying languages, law and social customs. Now that there is so much information online for free this is absolutely doable for anyone, the only thing that matters is if you actually do it - there needs to be some passion for the knowledge in her I think, otherwise she wouldn't do it so consistently. Needless to say it helps big time to the business of her husband who only has limited time for this kind of information gathering.

She is not entitled in any kind of way.

I can confirm what ModernClassicLady said, she still shops on a budget.

They met by coincidence in a bar where she stood out by not wearing makeup or dress that evening. They started as FWB.

The following is just my personal opinion or hunch but at some point I spent a lot of time around them and it seems to me that her "personality" and all the knowledge and opinions she has are really important in their relationship, as if he was looking for someone who is capable of giving him an objective feedback on what he's doing or thinking.

RubyWooToo · 2016-11-26T18:45:51+00:00

You should never conflate wealth with generosity. I've known extremely wealthy guys who are absolute cheapskates (either because they're afraid of gold diggers or they have a Scrooge McDuck hording approach to every cent they make), but also regular joes who love spoiling their lady loves.

But generally speaking, people tend to settle down with someone with a similar background and similar socio-economic and educational status. If you're looking for a well-off guy, the best way to meet one is to be well-off yourself or, at the very least, run in circles with people who are.

There's also a tendency for women who are seeking wealthy men to focus on high-profile professions like lawyer, doctor, or engineer. So if your plan is to hang around the Harvard Law Library or go for drinks at a swanky country club, you'll probably be among hundreds of other girls doing the same exact thing.

Much more overlooked are men who are extremely successful in blue collar professions like builders, electricians, plumbers, garbage men, etc. As Mike Rowe said about his show "Dirty Jobs,": "I can’t tell you how many millionaires I’ve met on Dirty Jobs who are, literally, covered in shit." Now I'm not saying that you should plan to spend your next night out at the dive bar outside your local IBEW headquarters, but if you happen to meet a guy who is making a steady living in a profession that doesn't require several hundred thousand dollars in student loan debt, don't dismiss him.

FleetingWish · 2016-11-26T07:49:52+00:00

Honestly, don't be in it for the money, look for the guy, not for his wallet. Guys with 6-figure incomes are used to girls who start flirting with them the moment she hears what his income is. They can smell a girl who is attracted to his wallet a mile away. They might plate a girl who acts that way, but never LTR her.

The best way you can get a guy with money is to not care about the money.

birthdaycake247 · 2016-11-26T21:56:13+00:00

I'll share!

HIM: My man is comfortable, (by comfortable I mean he pays for all our expenses and I don't contribute anything financially; I shop normally and we go on vacations often) BUT he isn't the most well off of the people I've dated before, not that it actually matters to be honest but I wanted to highlight the difference between him and the rest of the wealthier guys I've dated:

He's generous not only with me but with his family and friends
Humble to a fault, and secure in his own right.
He doesn't suffer from any glass half empty problems
Super cute
Self-made, never questions his abilities, and is a great person through and through.

My last LTR before meeting him was a millionaire. He also had a lot of girls throwing themselves at him all the time; in his mid 30s, good looking, rich, only son - what's not to love? Unfortunately he spent all his time questioning whether he was good enough, successful enough, good looking enough, and the best part - whether I needed him enough. The fact that I didn't need his money or help with most things weirded him out. He wanted to save me but really I just wanted an awesome man minus the issues - which I got once we broke up. :) This isn't to say that all rich guys are like that, but remember that phrase "Mo Money, Mo problems"? I've dated exactly three super rich boys, second, third and fourth generation wealth and they all had similar problems.

Also, since you asked, here's a bit about me:

Mid 30s, okay-ish education, 2 degrees and speak 3 languages
I don't wear makeup much and dress like I'm going to the gym or beach most days; I really don't like dressing up.
I am feisty. I have an opinion but know when to drop it, give in, whatever you call it. Timing is everything.
Former executive but I currently don't work. I did and was still working when we started dating but after we got engaged I stopped working.
I own my own place.
I love to cook - and we eat out only on weekends if we're out and about, otherwise I cook, and make lunch for him most days. Also like to clean (I know, it's weird, but I have OCD plus my SO LOVES a clean house.)
Also, I love to work save money. My SO loves that. Haha. I'm not against buying nice stuff, of which I have plenty, but I also enjoy being thrifty (not stingy).
I work out, 5 out of 7 days a week, and am currently taking some online intro classes, thinking about going back to school.

wub1234 · 2016-11-27T04:13:25+00:00

For me personally, I'm not talking like crazy rich, but just someone who lives in a nice apartment or small home, can buy you nice gifts once in a while, etc.

Where do you live? I'll take you out sometime!

Joking aside, this seems achievable. Much as we men have to accept that attractive women have options, you will also have to accept that these type of guys will tend to have more options (although not always).

mrpCamper · 2016-11-30T18:52:28+00:00

First post in RPW. I'm someone that fits the bill described... roughly $200K/yr salary male.

Most importantly, a woman should convey a certain amount of class equal to or above my status. She should be able to throw a dinner party, be outgoing at a social event. Know how to wear a dress and when not to wear one. Be able to hide her tattoos when decorum deems it inappropriate. Dress well but not spend a ton of money to do so. Her elegance should enable her to wear nice clothes and not need fancy brands to enhance it.

She should not be fat but should take care of herself (Skin, body, hair etc.) She shouldn't wear workout clothes on days she isn't working out.

Education is important. College degree is probably mandatory. Be able to play tennis or golf or some sort of activity like that and look elegant doing so.

Good posture is important.

She should show the potential to be a superb mother.

Please notice that I never said she has to be physically attractive but she has to control ALL elements that she can control. All of the things I mentioned should be achievable to anyone really.

Hope this helps.

Title	Getting a "wealthy" man..
Author	Waterboo2
Upvotes	15
Comments	63
Date	November 26, 2016 6:46 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/5eya5k/getting_a_wealthy_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/getting-a-wealthy-man.86677 https://theredarchive.com/post/86677

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