What are you working on?

homespunmama · 2014-07-05T20:04:51+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Bakerofpie · 2014-07-05T21:21:08+00:00

I would like to be more pleasant. I'm not a bitchy asshole who is always pissed off, but I feel like there is a lot of room for improvement with my attitude.

I also have a huge problem with my need for validation. I feel like I am never doing enough to please my husband because he just doesn't show a ton of emotion. He doesn't show appreciation or that he notices the extra things I do in the way I "expect" him to. He shows me he loves me all of the time, but when I walk into the living room in some lingerie I just bought and he starts talking to me about this problem he's been working on with his car I get really discouraged and let it throw me off for the rest of the night. When I try to approach him for sex and he tells me there are a few TV shows he wants to watch first I get upset and am not in the mood by the time he's ready (not that I ever tell him no, but I definitely don't have as much fun with it as I could have).

His sex drive does not work the same as mine, and his appreciation does not show in the same way mine does. I take it way too personally and let it crush my confidence. I feel like he isn't noticing things I'm doing, so I stop doing them consistently. It's something I've really been struggling with lately. It's even more silly because he isn't the type who never does romantic gestures or acts affectionate or gives me compliments. He does those things frequently, but not when I think he "should."

gabilromariz · 2014-07-05T20:19:21+00:00

I'm having trouble not being annoyed when my so falls into "beta-isms". He's mostly quiet and keeps to himself and has improved on that stuff ever since i started coming here and most of all after he found TRP.

Small things like asking me out to dinner and then I ask "where?". He used to be all "I don't know, whatever you want" even after i said i wanted him to decide.

Just yesterday he took me out to a place I like! But I still fume up a little when he's undecided or wishy-washy about a decision or acts like he's asking for permission. I've found telling him I love his taste and when he decides is helpful :)

dreamsloth · 2014-07-06T00:23:58+00:00

I'm trying to work on having hobbies. I realized a little while ago that I don't really have any hobbies that end with an actual product (I read a lot, that was about it) and have been working on building practical skills that are fun to work on. I'm taking baby steps and am cooking 1 meal per day for my family (I still live at home), devoting at least 2 hours per day on my art (I don't start college until this September, so I have tons of untapped spare time!) -- drawing, penmanship, and calligraphy -- if not more, and, of course, have been working out more. I'm almost at the point where jogging is fun for me. Almost.

I also realized that, as someone who's only 18, I've been relying on my youthful metabolism to stay thin and attractive. After altering my almost 3000 calorie per day diet (!!!) down to about 1400, I've seen a huge difference, and went from skinny-fat to just skinny. I'm super proud of myself!

Not entirely on topic, but I've also made a point to read more classic books (Jane Austen, Dickens, James Joyce). I still enjoy some modern literature, but I feel so much more worldly -- and, dare I say it, feminine -- having read the timeless classics that give me the ability to really contribute to conversations on literature.

It's great reading everyone's responses, I'm getting some good ideas. After I feel comfortable with my current changes I'll take on the real challenge: changing my attitude.

jukebox-hero · 2014-07-05T23:39:31+00:00

I want to be more kind and positive. I am working on the balance between setting boundaries with people who tend to ask more than I can give without sacrificing time with my family, and being kind and compassionate otherwise. Over time, with our immersion in volunteering and church work, people have a tendency to eat up every ounce of our time with their needs. We have had to start being very blunt with letting people know we aren't superhuman. It's been effective, but it's hard to get out of that mindset, even at home. And the hubs doesn't deserve that from me. I need to disconnect from that world at home.

rachaelfaith · 2014-07-09T18:11:42+00:00

I'm single, so it's all about improving myself at the moment and enriching my life.

I'm working on creating good habits such as daily exercise and meditation, and I'm influencing my health positively by cutting out sugar, dairy, and grains, as well as all processed foods. I'm seeing about getting some dental work done that's affected my self esteem for a long time, and looking into LASIK.

As far as 'inner' stuff, I'm looking to always stop and assess my initial reactions, and figure out what the next move is, rather than react hotly and dig myself into a hole. I'm looking to rekindle friendships and find new friends too. I'm looking to find happiness and fulfillment on my own.

Butterflyskirt · 2014-07-06T17:14:48+00:00

I think I take things too seriously. I'm always over-analyzing things. And my SO definitely senses when I'm churning thoughts in my head as it affects my mood. So I'm trying to get better at getting myself out of that state of mind - but it's hard!

evilalter-ego · 2014-07-05T21:13:55+00:00

Housework is my biggest stumbling block. Despite our amazing marriage I sometimes feel like a failure as a wife because I've been unable to keep a tidy home. We're both really messy, and I was poisoned by feminism for so long that I refused to do anything about it for ages in some sort of horrible stalemate.

Now I'm trying to recover it but old habits die hard - we've been together 11 years, so that's nearly 11 years of practicing NOT doing housework. I really wish I was more domesticated - I find it SOOO hard! Especially when I am exhausted from work and my other commitments.

Thinking about it, I can see that I am failing to put him at #1 - things keep leapfrogging my obligations to him as a wife - so I end up marathon training, working late in my job (I've been promoted 4 times and while that's great, I hate thinking that I'm submitting to my boss while my husband is neglected), working on writing music, etc etc...

Thankfully the rest of our marriage is AWESOME (my husband is hot, super smart and funny) but until I get over this issue I won't feel like a successful RPW.

TempestTcup · 2014-07-06T00:58:19+00:00

Mine main thing that I need to work on is patience. I not very good at listening and if I am on the computer then it's really bad. I'm working on paying more attention to my husband and listening when he speaks, even if I'm doing something else.

2014-07-05T20:16:31+00:00

I'm rather lazy and I get bored fast. I can never seem to stay on track with a work out routine. I lose motivation in two weeks, take a long break, start over. It's a vicious cycle. I believe this is my biggest problem.

I have issues with taking things way too personally. My health has suffered from the stress previously. I'm trying to kind of mentally step back from high stress situations and take a deep breath. I try to take what people say at face value and not make it more emotional than it really is.

Establishing personal boundaries with my family, and handling confrontation. I've allowed my family (my eldest sister and my parents especially) to run my life for so long that it has become the status quo. I hate confrontation and I'm not sure how to let them know respectfully when they might be overstepping. My relationship with my SO is getting serious but I'm afraid of the day I'll have to inevitably introduce him because I don't know what shit my family will pull. Another nagging problem there.

Phew! That turned into a rant pretty quick. EDIT: typo

MrsStrom · 2014-07-05T22:36:16+00:00

I have 10 pounds to lose and at least 5 sewing projects to finish. I have a tendency to leave things unfinished.

heart1098 · 2014-07-06T03:43:36+00:00

I'm working on being less sexually aggressive and just generally less clumsy/awkward. I'm a great public speaker and I'm great at things like job interviews, but when I'm in one on one conversations with people who matter to me (not my SO but his parents, for example) I tend to get a bit tongue-tied.

proprioceptor · 2014-07-06T14:25:59+00:00

Losing weight and wearing more makeup. I've probably lost 30 pounds over the last year (down to a size 5 for the first time since middle school!), but it's still really really unattractive around my middle. I also need to work on not getting upset when my SO points it out to me. I know that if it's bad enough that he's saying something about it, then it must be a pretty big problem. I just need to buckle down and fix it.

sierrasecho · 2014-07-07T16:25:15+00:00

Purging (old clothes and household stuff, not food ;) ) We live in such a tiny space, and unless things are precisely put away, it becomes chaotic quickly. I'm not much of a shopper, so I don't bring a lot of new stuff in, but I get too attached to old things... like shirts and pants that I no longer wear. Go figure. I look at that old pair of flared pants and think "I can totally repurpose those" and into the "to alter" bag it goes. Months later, still sitting there. It needs to just go to donation.

It will keep me saner, and hence my SO happy.

Eminine · 2014-07-07T19:35:05+00:00

I'm working on feeling more confident with how I look and trying to work on accepting my femininity. My SO suggested that this will help with my panic attacks and low self-esteem, which I agree with him on. Just need time to work on it! :)

I am working on cutting back on snacks and to make more of an effort to study after work! Been neglecting my textbooks lately ^{^;}

2014-07-07T20:06:30+00:00

Over the past year I gained 30 lbs. Yes, I know, it's awful. I moved out of the city, so now my workout time has been replaced by commuting to and from work,, hence the weight gain. I went ahead and took the plunge and now workout in our new office building gym to hopefully shed some of this nasty weight. Besides that, I try to wear jeans or slacks as little as possible, and make a an effort to be a pleasant wife to my hubby.

anaislefleur · 2014-07-08T17:52:58+00:00

I am working on losing weight, getting fit and creating a routine for myself. Instead of just waking up helter skelter and getting ready for work I am trying to wake up earlier, meditate/pray, and be more productive in the morning.

m0llywobbles · 2014-07-09T22:23:47+00:00

My current biggest focus is working on my insecurity. I do much better when I submit to him and trust in the process of being his girl, but when I start feeling like I need to control things in order to keep my relationship operating at optimal levels, I immediately slip back into stressing out about all of the things that could possibly go wrong. Trusting him when he says that we're going to be fine and focusing on the things I can do to keep us happy is enough to keep me busy. Right now focusing on my jurisdiction and taking over only what is appropriate while letting the "what if's" go would make a huge difference in our life.

Kikuhoshi · 2014-07-06T03:17:56+00:00

I'm working on losing weight, preparing for my new job, and stop thinking about myself more than my family unit. I know there are some portions where my husband wants and expects me to take charge (the yard, for example), but I need to stop trying to be the backseat driver. I'm getting better about it, but I still find myself a little frustrated by his insistence that I needed get a job immediately. I understand his reasoning, though. He ended up making me promise to not just look for "easy jobs", jobs that I knew I could get without a second thought, and because of that, I'm moving into a part of the job market that I thought was out of my reach. :) He believed in me when I didn't even believe in myself, and I trusted his judgement. I just need to remind myself to let him lead, let myself trust him instead of relying on just me, and we'll be fine. :)

Samantha_Simpson · 2014-07-05T20:48:43+00:00

I have a hot temper and am prone to outbursts if I am provoked enough. This is something that has caused me much distress. For this reason, I tend to stay away from conflict unless it is absolutely necessary in order to resolve a problem. The most important lesson is for me to calm down first before I respond to anything. Nothing ever gets accomplished when I'm in a frustrated or panicky mood.

VarsitySlutTeamCpt · 2014-07-05T20:42:59+00:00

Working on losing 10-15 lbs, I gained about 20 lbs last semester taking two difficult classes. I bought these tight-ass Rigid Dragon jeans from Levis and I hope to fit in them by fall semester.

aZombieKitten · 2014-07-06T00:17:46+00:00

I'm working on weight loss. Need to lose about 13-18 more pounds (depending on how I look after the 13). Right now, I'm stuck at a plateau and need to find a way to break through it. C's been so understanding about the light fluctuations in weight and the fact I'm stuck, so I really want to break through this for him.

I also should probably stop cursing so much, so that's something I'll need to actively work on. Swearing is certainly not cute.

2014-07-06T03:04:07+00:00

I want to listen to him more, and not feel so insecure about my disability and accept his help. I think I am still struggling with wanting independence but God knew this and gave me no choice lol. I feel like I'm suspicious when he is being nice sometimes and I just have accept it that he's a wonderful person. I know that he is, it's just that little voice in the back of my head saying "There's nothing about you to keep him with you. He's still too good for you. He could always find someone prettier and less of a burden". So I guess self esteem issues mostly

2014-07-06T11:17:42+00:00

I want to lose 12 pounds to get back down to my before-baby weight, and I'm starting a low-carb diet tomorrow.

I also want to try a bunch of new recipes and make more involved meals, because for the last month I've been falling back on the same few recipes that are quick and easy to throw together and my husband is sick of them.

My other goal is to be more positive, quiet, and patient, and put more of my trust in my husband. I get all worked up over financial stuff but I should be focusing on my responsibilities and leaving his to him without second guessing him about them.

itaewonfreedom · 2014-07-06T13:05:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

sweetrain07 · 2014-07-06T17:54:32+00:00

My past relationship left me pretty insecure and anxious. I feel like I've been a lot more sensitive and I over think/analyze everything with my current bf. I've been doing a lot more introspection/self awareness/self analyzing so I can keep myself in check. What's been helping is writing and keeping myself busy. And I've also been working out more so I can be a confident sexy woman for my man :]

sunshine_smiles · 2014-07-07T20:43:27+00:00

My weight and being fit. Trying to get a balance so I will be a more balanced person. I have been to hard on diets so I am trying to have a more lax approach and it is working. Along with 10km walks or cycles everyday.

MrsKittenHeel · 2014-07-09T02:59:33+00:00

Finishing what I start :)

Bbyybbbaby · 2014-07-09T21:37:52+00:00

Working on my etiquette, improving my cooking and not nagging him about the about of junk he has.

Agent_Elle · 2014-07-09T07:24:41+00:00

I'm working on:

Not interrupting my SO. This is a really bad habit and it frustrates him so much!! I have to stop!

Like the OP...Resisting the urge to "explain" (justify) myself when my SO points out things I messed up on or need to do better with.

Laundry. He gets really annoyed when his shirts are wrinkly or shrunken. And I often don't time it right and end up leaving things in the washer or dryer overnight.

Getting back into my morning squats/yoga/meditation routine. I was so on it during the winter but now that summer is in full swing I always feel "too busy" to give myself my morning routine.

Jillianmd777 · 2014-07-14T00:43:40+00:00

Hi. I'm new here, and I just got banned on trp or some reason, pending a response from mods. But I actually agree with pretty much everything redpillwomen are about.

I'll just say I've always had a view that women should not squander sex. And men are the gatekeepers to commitment. I 100% agree with that previous post.

My problem that I have is articulating how I feel. I get terrified of a negative response and just keep it all in. It's generally an irrational fear, but I get so torn up thinking about it which just makes it worse until I eventually explode and cry in the bathroom for hours. This hasn't happened for almost a year, but still. It's terrible. My boyfriend as I have been together for 5 years, and this blog:

Aslavestale.blogspot.com

Is what actually started me down the conscious kind of red pill thinking. It's actually a master/slave dynamic (bdsm), but I really connected with it. I've always found my place to be submissive to my significant other. I love it when he "makes a woman out of me." It is good and feels good to give into the natural urgings of femininity and it's complements in masculinity. They just fit well together, and they should. And I have no idea why anyone would want to change the natural (biological)order when it's great as is.

Anyways, sometimes I get defensive as well, but practicing submission like that blog states is really helpful. It's a continuing act of love.

LadyLumen · 2014-07-10T23:25:58+00:00

Being a better listener. I'm terrible. I'm still block headed and very independent in a lot of ways - I basically raised myself because my dad ditched the family and my mom is mentally ill. As a result I have a hard time trusting the opinions of others.

Just the other day my SO told me to put an address in the GPS, instead I didn't and insisted on giving the directions myself. It made us take longer to get to the destination.

So I need to stop being so instinctively block headed.

Title	What are you working on?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	13
Comments	95
Date	July 5, 2014 6:32 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/29wvij/what_are_you_working_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-are-you-working-on.165571 https://theredarchive.com/post/165571

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