Why are you here?

flapak · 2019-01-10T19:43:39+00:00

To do some reverse engineering, to self-improve. I read stuff here, I look at what you are looking for in a man, what you do as a woman THEN I try my best to become what you ladies are looking for in a man. I am a man, went on TRP, didn't like the plate spinning stuff, I am hard wired for monogamy and exclusivity. I lurk, I read, I analyze and I implement in my day to day life.

butterflyhalo · 2019-01-10T17:18:49+00:00

Learning and self-improvement - being my best self :)

Kara__El · 2019-01-10T17:33:11+00:00

I work in an insanely liberal field and need balance.

ImTheCaptainNow24 · 2019-01-10T17:05:32+00:00

I'm new to RPW as of the past week (had done some reading on TRP a year or two ago), but a frequent contributor on other relationship-related subs (and a few other subs related to niche interests) on my main account.

In general, I'm an active reddit participant because I tend to get obsessive about off-the-wall interests, and reddit gives me a way to connect with other people who are actually interested in the same things rather than inundating my real-life friends and family with topics they don't want to talk about. I guarantee very few of my friends are interested in RPW, so this would be my only outlet to discuss these topics.

Furthermore, reading and answering questions related to relationships really helps me develop empathy and emotional intelligence. Reading reddit posts helps me to relate to people outside my demographic and understand their perspective. When I formulate comments and responses to posts, it helps me explore my own feelings about what is right/wrong, advisable/inadvisable. Also, I find that when someone posts with a relationship problem, if I'm seeking to give good advice, I will try very hard to understand the perspective of their SO, and that really helps me exercise my ability to see two sides of a situation.

I also just really enjoy when I'm able to give helpful advice to someone and they actually take it and feel that it improves their life in some small way. I really like to help people in that way.

I've become interested in RPW in particular kind of unexpectedly. I'm pretty feminist, so it appealed to me to read about a perspective that was very different from my own at first. I think what has kept me coming back is that I grew up in a family with VERY traditional gender roles, and all the marriage advice my mom ever gives me is RPW to a tee. It's like my mom read the entire RPW wiki and has just been doling it out to me over the past 20 years. My parents have been happily married for 30+ years, so I guess I've just been feeling like "maybe there's something to this!" I also had read some TRP doctrine a year or so ago, and although I found the misogyny really off-putting, I had this gut feeling the whole time that the basic concepts were just instinctively true.

Right now, I'm really just reading and participating in order to learn more about the ideology and see what I can glean that would be helpful in my own marriage.

notathrowaway152000 · 2019-01-10T17:15:22+00:00

(Throwaway account)

To be honest - I'm a male, and I frequent this sub because I come from the grey area between not-quite MGTOW and not-quite an incel...I just feel lost, sorta, and I have a heavy distrust and disliking towards women in general. I know it's unhealthy - and I think that self-awareness is one of the things keeping me from becoming a full on incel. However seeing a lot of these posts, and seeing that there are women out there that still hold these "red pill" / traditionalist values, it gives me hope, even if just a little. Trying to perhaps fix my screwed up views one by one.

RubyWooToo · 2019-01-10T23:36:54+00:00

Other than my BFF, I have absolutely no like-minded women with whom to discuss relationships. I suppose I should be grateful to have at least one IRL person, though.

I also read here to keep my inner hampster in check before it flies off the wheel.

Lastly, I'm an old lady by Reddit standards, so I like to give the young women here the good advice I wish I had gotten myself when I was their age.

high-on-me · 2019-01-10T19:11:49+00:00

I had no idea this sub existed until yesterday. I can’t stop reading it. I’m hoping it’ll improve my marriage :)

MissNietzsche · 2019-01-10T19:50:08+00:00

It's the most logical conclusion I've found to the premises that living in human/western society brings.

spacebeerpickles · 2019-01-10T21:23:15+00:00

I'm new here from a few days ago! I randomly found out about the book "Fascinsting Womanhood" while searching Pinterest for homemaking stuff. I'm only a few chapters in but, while some of the suggestions are completely laughable to me, overall a ton of it vibes with how I have been developing my femininity in recent years, my dreams for my life, and how I have instinctively approached relationships with men basically my whole life. I'm a feminist and already married to a man who I think (without knowing the terminology other than from context in sentences) is a total Captain. (He's actually going through training right now to become a literal Captain as well so the terminology both cracks me up and seems super fitting!) Because of this context my main purpose in exploring this... ideology(?) is to continue to improve my thankfully already stellar marriage. (We both put a lot of work into our marriage and it is one of the most important things in our lives to both of us.)

I discovered an absolute passion for all things domestic/homemaking a few years ago but am not religious, or politically conservative (U.S.), and most of all - my husband and I are childfree. This combination of things seems so conflicting right now in society and culture - I feel like I don't belong anywhere in particular as people seem to feel these aspects are all oxymoronic when together and I've yet to find barely anyone who also holds these same views together. Almost everyone I know who is super domestic is also into having babies so basically our lives end up not that relatable. Or, those who are childfree are often really career driven or just otherwise don't relate to me devouring "Home Comforts" from cover to cover and fantasizing about properly keeping linens, etc. haha! So, in this context I want to learn how to create a place for myself in this world.

I've always been more mannish in the sense of never being good at girly things, being an independent and relatively fearless tomboy, and just generally feeling like a complete feminine misfit in many ways and I'm also stubborn and contrary a lot - I'm looking to RPW and any similar sources to unlearn those aspects of myself.

I knew my husband's love language was acts of service and basically fussing over me. I often rejected his offerings of this type. insisting that I can do it myself and don't need his help. What I just recently put together due to "Fascinating Womanhood" was how I am essentially not letting him love me in little ways and also not letting him fully enjoy the role of being the man/leader - which through his actions and words he has been more than ready to do. I'm realizing how true that phrase "Do you want to be right or be happy?" can be and just because I CAN do something myself doesn't mean it's worth insisting on, particularly at the cost of relationship richness and my husband's personal fulfillment. I want to make him as happy as possible and submitting (man I hate that word and maybe I shouldn't!) to him in the little ways that I hadn't been has already made him noticeably happier, especially satisfied with our relationship, and even more loving!

Sorry for the wall o'text - I guess I just needed to get this exciting discovery out. I don't know anyone in person who would really get it... This whole thing is kind of blowing my mind right now tbh.

okayestwifey · 2019-01-10T23:18:32+00:00

I follow this feminine-masculine, traditional model of marriage, and it's a great place for advice and such from people who agree about certain observable truths (like men enjoy attractive women, men need respect). So much marital advice I see in other places is "Well if he can't handle it, leave him." Which is not in line with what I want for my life and marriage.

wymone · 2019-01-10T19:40:10+00:00

For me- self-improvement and a better understanding of men and relationships. I would say I am neither feminist nor anti-feminist, and I believe it to be beneficial to expose oneself to different viewpoints. There are a lot of good ideas here that I can use to improve my personal life.

vanillaicedlatte79 · 2019-01-10T20:45:13+00:00

I was very r/notliketheothergirls as a teenager and missed out on important socialization situations like dating and having close female friendships. I used to be sort of redpilled on the men's side, if that makes sense. Like "oh all women are stupid because they want commitment and they take advantage of men and they need to follow their own goals instead of riding on men's". Anyway it turns out my aspirations include having a family and male companionship. And it turns out you don't get very good results with commitment from men when you present yourself as a "cool girl" who is down with everything including having noncommittal sex and eating too much and being a loudmouth.

Six years of self reflection later and I've found reading communities like this to be very helpful to reinforce my new habits. Life is good.

ninachaton · 2019-01-10T21:40:49+00:00

I had developed a terrible habit of being terse and coarse with my partner. I wanted to undo that behaviour before it was too late.

Lux_x_Aeterna · 2019-01-10T22:33:41+00:00

Just to find and talk to more women like me.

HarshaCity · 2019-01-10T23:36:10+00:00

Answering here is a way for me to get my experience tested and improve my ideology. If I comment and then receive a negative feedback or a valid counter argument then it's a sign that maybe I should reconsider this idea. If i receive positive feedback or agreements from other members then it's a sign that this idea might be cool.

posting here made a lot of the tiny holes in my theorem more visible.

[deleted] · 2019-01-11T02:13:51+00:00

I’ve always knew there was something very wrong with our society’s male-female dynamic and I disagreed with a lot of our culture’s idea on egalitarianism and the imbalance between responsibility and authority.

I used to think I’m odd until I stumbled here, which means my feelings are validated.

Zegiknie · 2019-01-11T03:32:38+00:00

Answering my own question.

To keep me sharp marriage-wise, as a constant reminder.
Articulating my views and then not living them would cause cognitive dissonance. So answering here with my values upfront makes me behave better, somehow.
Bleeding heart sense of this is my way saving the world (giving advice to others).
Getting new ideas for fun.
Community and fun. I like more women on here than IRL.
I'm a know-it-all but don't believe in giving unsollicited advice. The internet is full of people asking for it. Gets me my fix of not having to bite my tongue.
Keeps me humble. I have been petted as a unicorn too much IRL, reading here opens my eyes to areas of improvement.

indiaraw · 2019-01-11T06:33:45+00:00

I’m in my early 20s. I was very liberal during my teen years ... found out quite recently that I had been suppressing a lot of my natural instincts and views, but I was unaware of this.... Something clicked one day- a lot of this made sense to me! Lightbulb moment I guess. Now I’m learning how to implement some RPW philosophy into day-to-day to improve my life & future :)

robslawbox · 2019-01-11T11:06:31+00:00

Reprogramming; I was raised a militant liberal feminist and it turns out that's not the only way to behave.

LittleBlackFlats · 2019-01-14T20:22:20+00:00

Using a throwaway here!

As another woman said - I am the breadwinner of my relationship and definitely subscribe to the career woman mindset. I would consider myself liberal (I know there’s also a few of you here. Hi!) I come here for a different perspective other than my own.

I find this sub is really accepting and gives level-headed advice. I am incredibly feminine and girly and would be flamed to hell if I told the other subs that I frequent that yeah, I DO think women should put effort into the way they look. Why wouldn’t we put our best foot forward daily?

This sub also gives me advice on how to mellow out. I am am a strong decision maker and overall strong in general. I enjoy the approach this sub takes to conflict resolution with SOs and really working hard to build your man up.

Beeswaxed · 2019-01-10T18:22:38+00:00

I'm here because every time I stop reading here I revert to my old ways, and it helps m relationship and world view to be reminded of the principles of this community. Great question!

LateralThinker13 · 2019-01-10T18:40:07+00:00

Truth. RPW is about the true condition of women and their needs and goals. Much of BP media/culture is based upon lies that cause widespread dissatisfaction in men and women. Coming here to bask in discussions and strategies regarding true human (female) nature is like a warm bath.

Also, very few psychos here. :P

Giraffeasauras · 2019-01-10T19:01:21+00:00

Yes. I now have the confidence and knowledge that I need to be the best wife that I can be for my fiancé when we get married in <1 year. I was raised on blue-pill and feminist ideals (working mom, parents divorced after dad cheated etc) so I went to university and am finishing up my graduate degree this year in a field that I'm proud of, but TRP and RPW have helped me to fill in the missing pieces.

I have always struggled with the expectation of me working full time and also having children. I have a chronic illness as well, so while I do what I can to use my energy wisely, I have less to spare than most people. That makes it even more important that I get my priorities (and my fiancé's) in order. We've been in a D/s relationship for almost 6 years now and living together for 2 1/2 years. TRP fits neatly into our already-established dynamic and knowing the roots for why I may act or do things that seem strange to my logical raised-like-my-two-brothers brain is making a huge difference in my attitude towards myself and my relationship.

I chose a partner who has a much higher SMV (but about equal RMV I would say) than me, is dominant in and out of the bedroom, has similar sexual preferences and sex drive, is strong-willed but willing to communicate his reasoning to me, knew that he wanted children and wasn't against marriage (with a prenup and legal counseling), was willing to let me be at a part-time position so that I could have the time to focus on raising our kids right, and appreciates my progression towards a more feminine ideal. I took up sewing and am enjoying it a ton even though my mother never taught me. I am dressing more feminine and modest (think dresses and skirts), keeping an eye on my weight, and doing consistent upkeep with haircuts, shaving, skincare etc. I have a long way to go, but my knowledge of TRP has helped to keep my values in perspective.

I never had a party phase (I was the geek playing D&D with my brothers, burying my nose in novels, and succeeding academically) and was taught to value blue-pill traits in men. This understandably confused the hell out of me because I'm submissive and the few guys I dated who all were blue pilled (except my fiancé thank God) drove me nuts because my hypergamy went haywire every time I realized that not only was my SMV higher, but that these poor guys couldn't lead the relationship. I'm 5'0" and he's 6'3", so it helps that he can throw me around like a ragdoll. His physical presence can be intimidating which not only sets off my alpha male radar (make babies, tons of babies, he's got a sexy genetic code), but makes me feel safe and protected which triggers my need for comfort and security.

imanewwoman · 2019-01-10T20:44:01+00:00

I got here because someone at /nofap mentioned TRP. I was furious about everything I read. I checked out RPW because I couldn't undersand how could other women be in favor of such disrespect to women at TRP, and after reading a lot I understood that they were two separate things that serve two different purposes. And I've been reading for a couple of years since then as a way of self improvement and to learn about relationships ❤️.

RainbowKitty77 · 2019-01-11T06:05:06+00:00

I found red pill on Google somehow and read up on it. Then moved here.

Ramalavonda · 2019-01-10T17:29:50+00:00

Because I chose the life of a traditionalist instead of conforming

Ciciobomba · 2019-01-10T17:53:00+00:00

Self-improvement mostly. I was born with a very rare condition called Moebius Syndrome, basically meaning I can't make any facial expressions. Struggled for years with self-hatred, anxiety, and other trauma from my childhood and teens. I happened to find RPW after finding out about Brittany Pettibone's book "What Makes Us Girls". Being red pilled somewhat already, everything I've read from this reddit has been really clicking with me-- advice I've been needing desperately for years. I am finally able to love myself for who I am and who I can become to my Captain. Been making and seeing changes already and I'm so excited for the future! More than I ever have before.

DeepWaterRose · 2019-01-10T23:25:22+00:00

I've realised that feminism is bad for women, men and society - so I want to be a woman of true value and therefore I am here to learn.

[deleted] · 2019-01-11T15:26:51+00:00

I was a very bitter woman, post breakup with ex. I didn't believe there was happiness beyond the night. I thought a man would only ever want me for 1 thing.

I met my man, and discovered this community per a recommendation of another Redditor, who recognized some RP qualities in him after I had posted. I was so brainwashed accepting a wishy washy man, who would not commit, & would not put in the effort for our family.

Sadly, I never had a sense of family. My Dad is a great man, but alcohol & drugs have gotten the best of him. Mom was a single-I take no shit-Mom. She struggled and would not accept help from anyone. I'm not sure what she was trying to prove.

So reading real love stories here, is so refreshing. :)

You all & he made me a believer in true love again.

I'll never forget how shocked I was when he said, "I love you, I want to marry you." after like 2 months of dating. No one has ever wanted to marry me. No one has ever made me feel secure or accepted me as part of their life so quickly. He & this community turned this commitment phobe into a commitment junkie.

Wolfssenger · 2019-01-13T20:47:09+00:00

To nurse my sanity.

[deleted] · 2019-01-16T11:25:50+00:00

In real life I have always dumbed myself down to fit in with the Liberal minded people that seem to be all around me (maybe some of them are pretending too).

So in real life I’ve never had anyone to openly honestly discuss the type of topics that are explored on Red Pill forums.

I’ve learnt so much from reading both Red Pill forums.

I’ve been able to look at other peoples insights and experiences and reflect on my own life and so I’ve learnt about myself, and I’ve learnt about the game.

No one in my life discussed the game of life with me.

My father was completely absent in my life, my mother was physically present, but emotionally checked out: so I’ve never received any counsel in my life ever.

I’m very behind in emotional development and personal growth, so reading Red Pill forums is helping me to develop and grow as a person.

I really wish I could meet more people who where intelligent, open-minded, and insightful in real life - but I’m very grateful to have access to such insights via the internet.

This is a great question and the responses have been very insightful, thanks to everyone for sharing.

Chevvron · 2019-01-10T16:45:49+00:00

My best friend is an RP male and I thought this would be a good place for me to start to understand that part of him.

Title	Why are you here?
Author	Zegiknie
Upvotes	13
Comments	50
Date	January 10, 2019 4:19 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/aekipw/why_are_you_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/why-are-you-here.167299 https://theredarchive.com/post/167299

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