Actually, AWALT.

IllimitableMan · 2014-02-11T19:48:14+00:00

"I am looking forward to enjoying a special dinner. I cancelled your part of the reservation."

Archwinger · 2014-02-11T21:30:05+00:00

Never, ever, ever explain yourself or justify anything to a woman.

When she disrespects you about something, and you later respond with a logical list of your positive traits and things you've done for her in the past, she's hearing the following:

"You were right to disrespect me. I'm so insecure in my position that I need to explain myself to you to try to convince you. That's how you can tell that I'm wrong and stupid, because I just keep going on and on whining and explaining myself like guilty wrong stupid people do."

"I am lower value than you. It is important to me that you accept my explanation and that I verbally convince you of my worth, because I desire your validation and approval."

"I am a whiny little bitch, and after you slighted me in some minor way, it is my practice to react like a woman and come at you with a prepared verbal response detailing my worthiness."

"I am a Nice Guy(tm) right out of Robert Glover's book. Here is a list of nice things I've done for you while never overtly (but probably covertly) expecting something in return. Since my covert attempts to manipulate you into respecting me by doing nice things have failed, I am now attempting to overtly guilt you into respecting me by pointing out everything I do for you, like I'm some kind of victim and martyr."

Her response to your explicit demonstration of your low value and unworthiness is to dump your ass and fuck someone else on Valentine's Day. Learn from this.

IllimitableMan · 2014-02-11T20:57:27+00:00

I have a talk to her about all the stuff I do for her, and gave her a list of things I do for her without a second thought. Things that I do because I want to do them. And that I never expect her to do anything for me

That's the mistake. You both know the value you bring innately, the fact women are almost incapable of showing appreciation is what it is, fucking obnoxiously irritating, but it's not going to change.

Listing those things makes it look like you're qualifying your worth, a high value male doesn't qualify value, he provides it.

The other mistake you made is trying to deal with this bitch using logic. Bitches are fucking retarded, they give up on logic fast, they hate it, it makes their head spin, they are intellectually retarded with reason and their logic, their GOTO method of thought and problem solving is via emotional reasoning, doing things that feel good, avoiding things that feel bad and then rationalising them with faux logic after the fact "hamstering"

Reward good behaviour, punish bad behaviour. If shes insecure show her love, if she becomes more insecure despite you showing a sprinkle of beta, up the ante and punish her, if rewarding her behaviour made it worse then punish it, if she ups the ante its just a shit test and not a legitimate problem. This is the annoying thing with women, telling the difference between a legitimate grievance where she needs your support and a fucking shit test to see if you're still alpha/test your frame.

Fuck LTRs, even when you're alpha they're exasperating, you gain very little and give up a lot. /opinion

purecyse · 2014-02-11T20:36:15+00:00

You're venting while understanding that you made the mistakes.

This is a world of martial arts. Your home/ relationship is a dojo...YOUR dojo.

You're letting her throw punches and kicks at you, to see how far she's come, without you leading her into counter elbows and throws. She SHOULD be waking up to smelling salts with her body sore.

In a LTR, THIS is what happens when you fall into that habit of treating her too good. You know it. I know it.

You telling her what you do for her does absolutely nothing. She will nod her head to the FACT that one plus one equals two and then she will move how she FEELS. It's the equivalent of negotiating desire...as she has to have the desire to do shit without you asking...she clearly does not.

She's starting to get rises out of you...that is an error...as it is an indication that she's wearing you down. At this point in your session, it's time to go mechanical and use your techniques against her like she is an enemy combatant.

For example, my girl's weakness is aggression. When I see that she is going a little too hard in sparring, I handle her like an object. Rough, aggressive, no foreplay, no baby's, nothing loving and, then, I kiss her like this may be our last go round...no less than two rounds later, she has sparkles in her eyes. The food is cooked. The bathrooms are cleaned. etc.

I'm sure your girl has similar weaknesses in her game and you should exploit them.

Next, as far as the dinner goes, do something for her on valentines day if you want with the caveat that ANY girl with you is going to be treated good. She is just lucky enough to be that girl right now.

In your chest, I know you'd do everything possible to not have to send her about her way...she probably does, too. A little dread game will help your bluffs.

RPGoon · 2014-02-11T21:11:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

angryadult · 2014-02-12T00:56:32+00:00

Don't cancel that rezo, bring another chick.

mejor_o_nada · 2014-02-11T20:14:09+00:00

Someone just bought herself some dread game on Valentine's day, OP. Understand?

Whisper · 2014-02-11T21:17:42+00:00

Valentine's is coming up and I've made reservations to a swanky restaurant

Mistake #1. Making a big deal about February 14th.

My girl gets a wild hair up her ass every once in a while and tries to give me shit about little things.

Mistake #2. Not permanently correcting the problem.

I got lazy one day and didn't check her apparently because she just read me the riot act on a small oversite on my part.

Mistake #3. Never get lazy. Shit tests are unending.

I have a talk to her about all the stuff I do for her, and gave her a list of things I do for her without a second thought.

Mistake #4. Expecting reciprocity from women. You must tell them what you expect of them. Never wait for gratitude to move them spontaneously.

Things that I do because I want to do them. And that I never expect her to do anything for me, ever

Mistake #5. Not having demands and expectations.

it'd be fucking nice if she'd just fucking do the shit without me having to ask.

Mistake #6. Expecting a woman to take the initiative.

Don't you get it? Women want to be led. If you expect her to be a self-starter, she's going to appear very selfish, because she won't do jack shit for you. Women will do things for you, they will make an effort, but you have to tell them what you want, because one thing they won't do for you is take the initiative.

To them, dates and relationships are supposed to be an adventure, a magical roller coaster ride with regular does of excitement. But the thing about roller coasters is that she doesn't have to steer them. She just has to put her hands up and go "wheeee!".

Women are willing to push a relationship. But not to steer one.

robesta · 2014-02-11T19:03:02+00:00

It sounds like you're failing every shit test she throws at you. If you fail shit tests, then yes, AWALT.

JohnGalt316 · 2014-02-11T19:38:04+00:00

why only cancel the dinner when you can cancel the relationship?

MahlerNinth · 2014-02-11T21:22:02+00:00

Dread game, and threaten to make your own plans. The threat of hanging out watching basketball with some of your other single buddies, or heading out with them to be a friend's wingman might get her to shit herself. Women will all say they don't like making a big deal of V-day, but most dread the thought of being alone on it. Especially if they've been in an LTR for a while and can't handle being alone.

nerdyfitnessguy · 2014-02-12T00:01:53+00:00

Reminds me of the The Black Phillip Show. Patrice talks about checking your girl as soon as she starts talking shit. If you don't, her attitude fester until it's too late.

That said...if she isn't adding value to your life, dread or drop her.

TheIslander829 · 2014-02-11T20:07:42+00:00

Contrary to all the hate we get from the rest of reddit, all of your girl's behavior is your fault, not hers.

It's just like having a dog. Everything the dog does wrong is the master's fault, not the dog's.

2014-02-11T21:02:22+00:00

Shit, don't just cancel dinner...Cancel that LTR. You know when ya'll don't do some VDAY shit she's gonna be shitty.

2014-02-11T22:38:59+00:00

You should go out with your guy friends to a bar and have a boys night. Fuck that chick. She'll have a cry and watch the Notebook and then she'll be on your dick again when you come back because she'll realize what she's missing out on.

Either that or she'll just get bitchier and you can just leave.

charlie_bodango · 2014-02-12T05:24:12+00:00

Take another girl to dinner. Or a hooker. No use letting a good table go to waste.

feriksen · 2014-02-11T22:07:00+00:00

Take a hotter chick to dinner that day (hire escort if you can't arrange anything) and post happy pictures of you two on facebook.

BloodRoseTRP · 2014-02-11T21:10:51+00:00

Whilst you're cancelling dinner, cancel her sorry ass too

AveofSpades · 2014-02-11T22:37:03+00:00

Obligatory Bill Burr How to argue with women and win clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0V1OELJmvhs

2014-02-11T22:42:22+00:00

Just tell her, "I don't care if you're in the mood to go or not. I'm going. And I'm going to take someone else if you don't go. And none of that half-ass 'I came because I was forced into it,' bullshit. If you come, you better fucking like it."

If that doesn't work, take her best friend. Text her a picture of her bestfriend sucking your dick.

I call this, BeingaVillain. No spaces is right motherfuckers.

2014-02-12T02:39:31+00:00

I'm getting the keys to my new place for Valentine's Day and my soon to be ex is getting ... her own internet. Hah

2014-02-12T10:47:48+00:00

Swanky restaurant at Valentines? You need a bit of a tighter Game than that. We are going to a microbrewery here in Austria. Have some food, I will drink all kinds of beer, she will drink tea because 8 months pregnant. My reasoning: the whole concept of doing something on Valentines is female-centric, so I need to make the mood and environment of the date itself man-centric in order to balance it out and not lose respect points. And even tighter Game would have been to go to a hockey match together on Valentines but I guess even I am not bold enough to try that :)

2014-02-12T10:48:33+00:00

Well she did not cheat on you or rob you blind in divorce, and I guess the AWALT/NAWALT dilemma is more about those kinds of really serious stuff, not merely about women being kinda unreasonable. That one is really AWALT no questions about it.

trpArtVandelay · 2014-02-12T11:59:20+00:00

It's just a shit test. Like all shit tests, the best response is to maintain your frame (though in this case you already lost it, which is probably why she's testing you in the first place)

Problem is you got reactive. You let her unsettle you. It's a cliche for sure, but amused mastery is the right frame here, not the frustrated/upset vibe you're bringing.

My response to her would be: "ok". Then turn off your phone for a bit. Don't get clever. Let the hamster run. It needs some exercise

Karma_Reaper · 2014-02-12T14:26:57+00:00

Cancel. Go to pal with buds who's SOs did the same thing.

Bucky_Goldstein · 2014-02-12T18:12:31+00:00

Something similiar happened to me in a LTR

back story on why this blew up as big as it did, her family grew up quite poor due to the divorce of her parents, and her mom raising the kids. Quantity ruled over quality. Her idea of a good meal is the chinese buffet, had it once because you know, how bad can a chinese buffet be? Terrible, I had stomach cramps and felt like shit for hours after.

I wanted to go out for a nice dinner one night, I really enjoy going to a nice restaurtant and having a good meal, and some drinks. Cost isn't an issue and I'm a pretty adventurous eater

So we go to a nice restaurant, sit down and order some drinks, then the menu's come. The place is well known for serving wild game, along with other regular stuff, but their emphasis is wild game. She takes one look at the menu, then looks up at me with this half sneer/half disgust look. Then proceeds to put the menu down and say "I don't like anything on the menu, why did you bring me here"

I nearly walked out of the restaurant at this point, got in my truck and drove away without her. I was almost incredulous that she had the balls to pull this shit. I didn't want to ditch her in a very nice restaurant and cause a scene, because I'd like to show my face there again without her, and I'm supposed to be patient with my girlfriend right?

I finally get her settled on a ceasar salad and some french onion soup (this happened 7 years ago and I can still remember exactly what she ate because I had to pick her food for her, and I was completely livid)

At the end of the meal, she comments "wow, that was really good"

I nearly called her a dumb bitch in the middle of the restaurant at this point

On the plus side, the steak I had was nearly butter like in quality :D

get in the truck to go home, and she asks why I'm mad

I laid into her then, "How selfish can you be to ruin something that I wanted to do, you didn't want to be there for one second of the supper, even though I paid for everything, I drove us here, and all you can muster is a disgusted look before you even try anything"

blubbering, crying, apologizing from her about ruining the night and how next time she will be more willing to try different things that aren't just about her.

"There won't be a next time after that" I said, I don't need to pay that much for a meal, then have to deal with this afterwards.

I don't think I've ever had anyone be that ungrateful that I bought them a meal.

anyways, I look back on some of those times and cringe, now is the time for improvement. If it happens again with a different girl, now I'll have no problem closing off the bill and leaving without her.

Lipophobicity · 2014-02-11T23:09:50+00:00

"I already made reservations, find another day to pout"

if she still won't budge

"I cancelled reservations, it will be a long time before I plan a night out. I can't trust you stay calm"

You win either way

bigyellowtwinki · 2014-02-12T06:39:59+00:00

I don't get all of the advice, I mean, a lot of it is good advice, but I bet OP already knows what he needs to do, he just had to vent.

My only question would be why the LTR? It sounds to me like it's well into the territory where most families would think you should have proposed by now, unless you and your girl are on the same page about marriage. You might want to look into de facto cohabitation marriage laws for where you live.

2014-02-13T23:12:49+00:00

Guys, this subreddit isn't about this shiiit. Read the goddamn guidelines that explain how men and women are different species. This is now turning into a Maury show. Noone can give you any positive input here because there are so many unknown variables. You don't go rejecting a biitch and come here and ask for sympathy points.

Jrix · 2014-02-12T06:23:42+00:00

You're pathetic.

FlashedBlaze · 2014-02-11T19:03:30+00:00

How long have you been reading this sub-reddit?

Title	Actually, AWALT.
Author	mejor_o_nada
Upvotes	39
Comments	97
Date	February 11, 2014 6:55 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1xmv0f/actually_awalt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/actually-awalt.11206 https://theredarchive.com/post/11206

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