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smajorp
[–]Endorsed ContributorTDCRedPill 352 points353 points354 points 11 years ago* (75 children) | Copy Link
You're assigning the worst possible motives to what you saw without any possible consideration for alternative ones. Your conclusion that she doesn't have love for you is almost certainly incorrect, and her actions are in line with her actually having it.
Picture things from her point of view. You're leaving, and the panic of losing access to you makes her uncomfortable and wants to make the best of the time left, so goes straight to getting some loving. You may think it's because she doesnt want to talk or whatever, but it's because she'd rather do so wrapped up with you under a blanket all post coital-like. That's a GOOD thing. That's the BEST thing. There is no path to the love you want that doesn't involve keeping that feeling in her to the best of your ability.
From an outsider's point of view, you punished her for doing what she wanted, what you wanted, and what you wanted her to want. That's cold. Even worse is knowing that you up and left in the middle of sex. That is some serious fuck-with-a-person level cold ass rejection. That girl has or is shedding tears, guaranteed.
You're putting too much trust into your cynical examinations. Have some cynicism towards your cynicism, and factor in positive possibilities.
It's okay share love that could end in a couple of days. In fact, it allows an honest love that is really something. Even if you thought it meant she wouldn't be yours forever, she wanted to be yours then. You rejected her, after giving her ALL of the signs you were similarly attracted to her. I suppose you could feel justified if you were wanting to save yourself for marriage. If so, we need a different talk. Otherwise, I'm feeling this was a mistake conclusion on your part, that led to your action that was simply mean to her, in a damaging way. Imagine an ex told all your friends you have a small dick, and you actually do. That's pretty close to how she's feeling right now after that. Im not one for catering to women for the sake of women, but this is a simple thing to fix caused by an error on your part, and I'd feel compelled in your place to reach out and ease her pain, because if this was recent, she's in it, and you caused it.
Edit:Strikethroughs used on section that may not apply. I read in that you rejected her in a manner sometime shortly after your 'staring at the ceiling' description, please ignore if it doesnt apply.
[–]anoobaccount 138 points139 points140 points 11 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
I don't think I've ever read about love on TRP. Thank you
[–]NoSolaceWasPromised 37 points38 points39 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I think one of the end goals for some here is finding a new understanding of what love is for them. A lot of people seem to come after experiencing love from a place of weakness. After taking some of the concepts from TRP, they become strong, and so can find a new form of love for themselves.
It's a great part of the process, and ofcourse lile the rest of TRP, is completely optional and tailored by you as an individual.
[–]anoobaccount 11 points12 points13 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If I can be entirely honest with someone, my end goal is to have a woman that I love and that loves me. She'd be my first mate, and I'd be her captain, and life would be good. I'd gladly steer the ship through her storms, and she'd be glad to keep her ends of the ship up to par. We'd be fucking happy; me being the man and acting as such by nature, her being a woman and acting as such by nature.
[–]vintagegirlgame 12 points13 points14 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is what we strive for at RPW. It is not impossible, just rarer and all the more valuable. Men and women have different forms of love and learning to forge the two into a strong lasting bond is the ultimate challenge and reward.
[–]TheeRyanGrey 24 points25 points26 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
There's a huge influx of men in the anger phase,. They're still recovering from a life time of lies. Anger and love rarely mix well.
TRP is the most female friendly website on reddit because the men here are trying to figure out how to love women in a modern society that has made it so difficult.
If all we cared about was fucking women we'd be in seduction or some shit. Men are here because we love women. That should be obvious
[–]anoobaccount 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It should be obvious, but unfortunately it is not. You are right; but not very many would ask themselves "why does this group exist?"
[–]TheeRyanGrey 8 points9 points10 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That's because reddit is filled with the modern educated liberal a very short sighted, very solipsistic group.
They aren't very good at looking past their own narcissism
[–]Trpdoc 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I wouldn't call this a description of love, but of passion. He is leaving and so this is a fleeting circumstance. I think it is ok to romanticize it though, bc it is a truly important moment in the relationship of the red pill man. The issue for red pillers that want to still get married is that we understand the nature of what is unfolding too well. A girl now days will think that this passion is love bc so many beta guys before you have not given her this feeling. She doesn't see the fleeting nature of it. To her it is love. Red pillers understand the fleeting circumstantial nature of it. Hence the don't get married moto here resonates so well. The only way to win this is bring her into your frame and lead her to the truth to constrain her hypergamy. If you can do this then you may continue to make her sexually satisfied and stay in love and good things will come. If you can not, then you must move on
[–]_eskimo_brothers_ 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Very solid post TDC.
I think the phrase that needs to be really understood and repeated for anger phased men is, "She was never yours, it was just your turn."
After my multiple year ltr ended, I internalized this, and it really helped. You don't have to disregard the loves that were lost, but don't fiercely try to hold onto them because they are like an untrappable oil in your hands, you can try to hold onto it, but it will slip through your hands.
This is ok, your past love, much like oil was never yours, she'll drip from your hands and return to the earth. Later to be drilled by someone else. It's the way of nature. Damn I kinda like my analogy.
In our lifetimes perhaps unlike the oil analogy there are endless possibilities for long or short love affairs with worthy partners, seek out new fields of enjoyment and locate an untapped oil reserve. Your journey through life does not need to be that of searching for oil fields though, live in the moments of the journey, not simply destinations.
[–]smajorp30 points 11 years ago [recovered] (15 children) | Copy Link
Hey thank you for your response.
I didn't up and leave though. I actually suggested we try again in a minute and just told her things felt a bit rushed/forced. She was a bit quiet about the whole thing, but understanding.
I went back to it a few minutes later, only to have her say the same thing. We looked at each other and she asked if she could take me back to my moto.
When we were back at my bike, I told her we could meet up tomorrow and went to kiss her. She turned her head. It was over.
[–]_newbeginnings_ 44 points45 points46 points 11 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Ouch...that one moment of self doubt destroyed everything you worked to build up. It's like the second they see the actual wizard of Oz behind the curtain, and they realize it's a fallacy.
[–]fakeAk 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
What moment exactly? Him saying things are a bit rushed? If yes, I don't thing that's a weak moment, men are not robots who will fuck the instant you give them a girl who wants to fuck.
[–]bgny 10 points11 points12 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
A man who is doubting himself is not attractive. A man who stops a woman who has just gave herself to him completely is not a man in her eyes. He made her angry, disappointed, and disgusted. So when he's ready to start again it seems forced and all the spontaneity and sexual excitement has been sucked out of it. He ruined a special moment that will never happen again.
[–]Undify3 points 11 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Like that scene in Sideways. The guy gets an obvious open door from his female friend and he freaks. He goes into the bathroom, talks himself up, and tries making out with her when he comes out. But it's too late.
[–]bgny 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep, perfect scene for an example. Great movie.
[–]fakeAk 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I see, thanks for clarifying. But didn't he doubt her, not him?
[–]bgny 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Doubting is probably not the right word. It's more the indecision, hesitation, insecurity, and the weakness displayed by his behavior. Whatever the reason is the effect is the same - the loss of attraction.
[–]Buchloe 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Except it sounds like it didn't feel as special as he wanted it to. It had turned into just a fuck, which is not what every guy wants. Sometimes quality is better than quantity. I think he did just what he needed to. If she was really into him, maybe she would have followed his lead and slowed down. He said what he wanted, and she wasn't game.
[–]bgny 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
A man doesn't turn down a half naked woman he's attracted too going down on him because it's not "special enough". It's insecurity making an excuse. Nothing wrong with having sex just for the fun and experience of it. What is "special enough"? You have to be in love? It has to be romantic? She has to be a prospect for marriage? If she decides it was just a fuck, will you be hurt because you thought it was special? Most women, sorry to tell you, don't want "special" romantic sex. They want primal, uninhibited sex. And they cheat on their betas to get it.
[–]Buchloe 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I guess I agree with most of that. But I could identify with getting psyched out of you were hopeful for a certain type of relationship and abruptly realized you're just another fuck. Which is true too, and I guess it's nobody's fault but your own for having expectations
[–]thirdwill9 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have a female gf like that once...well on the subject atleast. I thought she was a great catch. Psss all she was in it for was the sex and possibly the end result. Sex shop, etc etc pushing me to fuck her. I new the relationship was over with...years later she has 2 kids, divorced and still trampin....
[–]the99percent1 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
move on bro.. you were fine before her, you'd be fine after.
[+]RWDMARS -13 points-12 points-11 points 11 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
You could've just said you're sorry. Appeal to her emotional side
[–]elevul 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You might be in the wrong subreddit.
[–]NikoMyshkin19 points 11 years ago* [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
You're assigning the worst possible motives to what you saw without any possible consideration for alternative ones.
That would serve as an excellent diagnostic for depression itself.
[–]Urasquirrel 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
An absolute giving into cynicism and just deciding to approach all situations with a jaded touch without even second guessing it is exactly that... depression. You can not, will not be happy this way.
I tried.
Happiness came when I realized that there are no absolutes. Alot of the time we try to think in absolutes and say things like women, or girls or whatever as if we are talking about all of them, but there is no such thing. When people say words like "NEVER" or "ALWAYS" i blankly but politely stare and say really? Every single time? Or I say oh really it hasn't even happened one time and it's not even possible?
People will tend towards the actions that they are taught, but people can change or deviate however unlikely it may be. And sometimes we have "absolutely" no idea what someone else's intentions are or what they are thinking until we...
communicate?
Woah... passes the blunt. Using words to poke someone else's brain when we question ourselves... without insecurely fearing that they will see the weakness in us... the inability to be restrospective without being so insecure about it. In short insecurity itself is at fault.
A lot of people won't speak out when they are unsure and this is a common characteristic of many men guys. Many unwise alphas believe that to question oneself is dangerous. But to never question yourself is much more dangerous. Question yourself without regretting what you did or may have done. Simply learn from that shit and move the hell on.
Being an alpha is about leadership, and to be a great leader we must read AND question everything. Ever been in a position of power and someone tells you to do something and the very first thing you should do is make sure that you completely understand what it is that they are trying to communicate to you, else you have failed from the start! In many positions I've held I have been given many compliments on this technique alone. I immediately ask who what where why and when, and reiterate what they told me in a different way.
I may even go so far as to say that this is a leading problem why TRP is so necessary today. We need great leaders not feigned confidence. Of course fake it til you make it can be very powerful, but eventually you have to make it. Can you lead yourself there? Can you lead someone else there? Why would a girl follow you if you can't lead well won't be a great leader.
I hope I made some sense here. Let me know if I am way out in left field as I often can be.
TL:DR There's alot of strength in admitting that no matter how dumb most people on this planet are if I can learn just a small thing from each of them it is worth the conversation or sparing those few extra words. In the end YOU helped us all out. The gender climate shift happened because men stopped being leaders who value strong communication. Most women own that field in every aspect, and when those decide to shut us men out, most men give in on that too.
[–]smajorp 3 points3 points3 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I do learn from my experiences. I appreciate this post, because I would like to leave depression behind. I recognize that depression is cyclical and continues to drag you deeper in, while isolating you from others.
I'm going home soon. I'll be around good company when I'm there, so I should cheer up. I've got big things on the horizon.
[–]vintagegirlgame 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you need a pick me up and a little hope for the good of relationship kind, stop over at RPW and read a few successful field reports and posts of all the women who are putting in the work to show their men the kind of love they yearn for.
A jaded mentality is quite a turn off and will not bring you happiness. Why were you so certain that this girl was gone for good? The world after swallowing the pill is a harsh one, but try to never lose your sense of romanticism.
Your story reminds me of when I met my SO. I was leaving to go back home about a month after meeting him. The last day we did nothing but have passionate sex all day, thinking it was the end. A few weeks later, some strange completely unpredictable circumstances put us back together and we have had an amazing RP relationship for almost 6 years now.
[–]smajorp1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You know, I reached out to her today and just said I think we had a miscommunication. She was happy to meet up again.
I went out with her tonight. We kissed a bit, but when I suggested going back to my place, she said she wanted to give that some space for a bit. Hopefully, I'll be able to work that back in before I leave.
Thanks for you comment. I was really hoping a female would weigh in.
[–]Urasquirrel 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This reply made my day. Thanks.. really. The realization that emotions are driven by chemicals but directed with perspective is what did it for me. I one day said, "Why am I so fucking miserable?! I don't want to be this way anymore. I will not be this way anymore because I make this decision not to be that way." This was after a full 12 month stint of clinical suicidal depression. Depression is a choice and no one can decide for us. I now perceive everything in the world as mine and how I want it to be. Everything from relationships with every person I come into contact with to success and failure in life. There is ALWAYS an upside if you are creative enough to see that for every "bad" thing that happens there is good that comes of it. I highly recommend looking into Taoism for meditation and the power of mindfullness which is focussing on here and now and not what happened 15 mins ago or what I need to do in 15 mins. Just letting your thoughts flow and thinking critically about them as you enjoy the moment and every sense that you naturally feel. Thinking like this helps us to question ourselves and why we think the way we think. I have broken so many strange thought patterns that held me down for so long using these tools. I hope that they can offer some help for you too!
Again thanks for that reply! Day Made!
Hey dude,
Yeah I'm actually in a southeast asian country now that is huge into meditation and yoga. I've read power of now. I'm really into this whole idea of being present.
I'm also an actor. You know every line that's about to be said, but you have to be present so that this isn't clear.
Being present is the shit.
[–]1grubek 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Good point. He is going away and she is the one that does not love him for wanting to enjoy the last moments? That's a very self centered and skewed view of things.
[–]smajorp3 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Naw, he missed a detail. Read my response.
[–]Junkname72 12 points13 points14 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
One of the more powerful things I've read in a long time, especially given the current phase I'm in (similar to OP)
[–]Endorsed ContributorTDCRedPill 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
One of my better stoned realizations. The hard part is remembering it. So much I've missed out on erring on the side of flawless defense.
[–]u-r-silly 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
TRP makes you think that you're getting shit tested everytime, and you overlook the possibility of a comfort test, which you fail, severly hindering any further development of a relationship...
[–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad 26 points27 points28 points 11 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
Whatever tears she shed will be long over within a few days, if not hours. She loved the romantic storyline, not OP. Coming to this realization is another wake up bitch slap in the beta transcendence.
[–]redditmoose 21 points22 points23 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Hey man, love has many ways of dying - slowly and drawn out like in a marriage, or it can be fast and resigned like when you know you have to part ways. The latter kind is honest and in a way it's maybe the best kind because it's never corrupted.
I like to remember that everything and everyone that you meet will leave eventually. It's the time you spend that makes it worth having. Be all alpha as you want, but if you're so jaded you can't enjoy anything but getting your dick wet you're selling yourself short.
[–]DRHipsterFaggot4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is so true.
The love I felt for a girl in high school was the real thing, even if in retrospect it would seem to have been some illusion. It's all about what is true in the present moment. That's also explains the girl loving the storyline and not OP. I think a better way of saying it is "the girl loves OP, for as long as the story continues to unfold." A nice idea, though not really sustainable..
[–]redditmoose 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The Japanese have their "sakura" trees which blossom one day a year. Beautiful things are short lived.
[–]Codex_Dev 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Damn man, that is some deep truth. In the back of my head I always think everyone and everything you know will be gone at some point. That's just the way it is. Yet, apart of me hates having to say goodbyes, it's a terrible feeling...
[–]scarfox1 13 points14 points15 points 11 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
Where did op say he left in the middle of sex?
[–]Endorsed ContributorTDCRedPill 12 points13 points14 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
You know, you're right. Last of the physical details had in making out in the bed, and then sort of mentally checking out. Physically up and leaving was read in on my part.
[–]smajorp5 points 11 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, I wasn't mean to her, but I do believe you're right to an extent. She very well may have had the best intentions and wanted to get to the quality time.
In this case, I really fucked up, but even before I started to realize these things, I wasn't getting into it. Something felt off.
I think she felt the same thing honestly. She had a great time with me previously, but there was a look between us that was pretty rough.
[–]MSCHVSVCTRY 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You mean the look that says, "I'm using you to not think about someone/something else."
[–]2wiseclockcounter 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
oof... that's a look isn't it.
sounds like it also could have been the one that says, "We've been making all the right moves without asking if it's what we really want until right now."
[–]MSCHVSVCTRY 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ooh damn that one is an eye opener
[–]zinver 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
And who doesn't love a romantic story?
Men just dress their romance up in guns and explosions.
[–]theultmatecad 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
OP created lovestory for her and forgot it's a story
Oh crap I got love stories for you all! Most which end like this. Some which start to be the best thing that could have ever happened to me... then poof just my imagination.
[–]Code_Bordeauxx 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Almost without exception, anything that is built up quickly can be lost just as quickly. If you want something more durable (again, this applies to almost anything) you will need to build it steadily and with more patience. That isn't a guarantee it won't be burned to the ground just as quick, but it opens up the longer lasting alternative.
[–]smajorp5 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I reread this with your strikethroughs. I feel like an asshole now. I will have to learn from this experience and move on.
[–]leodoestheopposite 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have been there myself, and it's OK.
This is a great article on the subject: "Men are the true romantics" http://therationalmale.com/2011/08/26/the-true-romantics/
[–]Hollyw0od 2 points2 points2 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Extreme cynicism. Huge downfall of an individual.
[–]BallisticTherapy 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
It's hard not to be a huge cynic when you're starting off at max cynicism and receive nothing but confirmation after confirmation of your cynical outlook. It validates & reinforces the worldview.
[–]Hollyw0od 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Ooh I agree. I'm one of them. And its led to my downfall a few times. Professionally and socially.
[–][deleted] 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]Rougepellet 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ah, so the reason its depression after anger is because the pill sinks deeper and the united is replaced with acceptance, cynicism and repression?
[–]1NV0K3R 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
But most importantly, I realize that the love I'm looking for doesn't exist.
I don't think he's talking about attraction/tingles. While that love surely exists, because sex, I think, due to the fact that he previously "invested heavily" with a girl, he too was looking for those gina tingles, which I suppose happens more in the sub-cockle region for men, and while any decently hot/cool girl can give a man an erection, when exposed to the duality of it, the budding idea that "it's just my turn" is a bitter taste and the fact that it legitimately could have been "anyone" with this girl is a bit disheartening to the newly initiated.
I, too, know what you mean. It only takes one time to break.
I don't really believe in love anymore. Only tolerance.
[–]Nicholas_ 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Real talk said like a real man.
[–]erthian1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Damn... I wish I had taken this advice months ago. I'm learning this exact thing right now.
For most of my life I had girlfriends that I just wasn't into. Just liked them because they liked me. At some point (after studying SD) I stopped giving a shit about their opinions, and suddenly started to really find people that I like. Still, I usually have two or three girls at once, keep them at a distance and read cynicism into everything. Everything had some cynical motive. So I string them along and drop em as soon as it gets too crazy. Never experienced a real connection. Never saw a problem with that.
That worked pretty good for a long time, but when you start meeting people you like, you actually have ya know... feelings, eventually. One relationship in specific was on and off for years. Just kept going back to it for some reason. Always pushed away harder when I felt myself getting sucked in. Once it finally ended, I realized how much I fucked up. Never even gave it a chance. Maybe it would have blown up like I always suspected, but maybe it would have been nice for a while. Its ironic how I thought I was getting what I wanted and missed it completely. I want a real connection with someone. Its ok to just see where it goes and enjoy it while it lasts. It was painful as hell moving on with out ever getting to see what would have happened, but at least I've learned a lot, and next time I'll be way more open to the possibilities... It doesn't have to be spinning 50 plates or marriage. There's gotta be a balance in there somewhere.
[–]forevereighty91 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
We need more posts like this on here. I am getting tired of the "ER MER GERD WHAT A SLUT AWALT" bullshit. Have an upvote man.
[–]25russianbear25 -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
you dont realize that OP is 2 steps ahead of you
youre ok with girls who put on first date and ok with spending time on "free love"... OP had enough of that and fucked a 100 of those.
OP here is looking for commitment, love and exclusivity... basically the end game.
[–]Endorsed ContributorTDCRedPill 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I realize I'm having the equivalent of a one-night stand. I realize this can't go anywhere. I realize that she's already adjusted to the dynamic change and is ready to just be a fuck toy.
Even if I consider all of that to be accurate, that doesn't mean that this is:
I realize this person I've had such an amazing time with has no true love for me.
Someone making the best out of the situation she has no control over should be expected. A starving person who settles for your PB&J because its the only thing in the kitchen doesn't mean she wouldn't appreciate a steak if there was one to have. I get the impression he believe her motivations were 'Well, Im ok with just shagging and nothing more.' when I hear her motivations of 'I want all of the time I can get with OP, with as much intimacy as possible.'
And there is zero reason to conclude from the situation that she isn't available and interested in those things with OP. It's off the table NOW for sure, but from the limited view of the post, I don't see any reason for OP to cut his own feels for her and conclude such a thing is outside of her goals. I think many of us would agree that women that are looking for the same would act in the manner OP described.
[–]25russianbear25 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
i do get that maybe she wanted to go for the kill and seal the deal because she was running out of time.
All im saying is loyal girls are more reserved while looser girls give it up. Maybe he met her on Tinder or a club. OP has a right to make a judgment.
[–]reigorius 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That takes a considerable investment of time and effort. One does not love fully, committed and truly without the above.
[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c 29 points30 points31 points 11 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
The hardest part of the Depression and Acceptance stages are feeling like all your dreams are dead. For what is a man without dreams or aspirations? Nothing more than a shell of himself.
No, you can still dream. You must replace your old Blue Pill dreams with new ones. Ones defined by the challenges a man faces in life, the failures he may endure, and the successes he will find by overcoming. That is the TRP way. That is the way of men.
You can still love ... it's just that no woman will ever love you back in the same way. But why would you want her to? A man was not born to be coddled and guided.
[–]smajorp 6 points6 points6 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Thank you. This is the most helpful response posted.
[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No problem ... I wrote a longer post on here about this last week, detailing my own transition post-anger during the the Depression and Acceptance stages that might also be helpful:
Victims, Love, and Pook
[–]HS-Thompson 72 points73 points74 points 11 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I struggled at internalizing TRP behavior, so my "Alpha" traits were really me just berating women with insults.
I am glad that you posted this sentence. My impression is that a lot of the posters here, especially the newer and younger ones, fit this description.
Being alpha is much more advanced and subtle. I am glad that you recognize it and are progressing past this stage.
[–]Hollyw0od 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Recommendations on how to practice these advanced approaches? Obviously, insults are a stupid and hostile choice. But the more subtle ones you speak of.
[–]smajorp11 points 11 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
Dude, it's just confidence. Truly. You will stop acting like an entitled baby and start acting like a man who takes action.
[–]Hollyw0od 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Makes sense. Trying to find ways to integrate TRP into a management style. You can smell insecurity from a mile away.
[–]fuckin_retard 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
That is good and well, but remember we are discussing sexual strategy for straight men trying to succeed with women. The principles and strategies discussed here will not perfectly translate into management of an organization. For example, you wouldn't want to "neg" your employees or treat them like children. There are lots of resources out there that will help you out more than TRP will when it comes to managing a business.
[–]Hollyw0od 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No no I agree. Just trying to take the relevant parts of TRP that ensure things like you wouldn't be walked all over, having max confidence, etc. Truth be told, every successful manager I've met has been an Alpha. With his/her career and with their social lives. I do appreciate your follow up though.
I think it comes down to this.
I set dates at places I want to go. Places I will actually have fun at. This means I have a blast, so she has a blast.
I take a girls hand, or waist. Once I get into a couple of dates, I take her by the neck. I lead her where we're going.
I don't sit around waiting for messages. I set times and dates quickly.
I don't apologize anymore, unless I truly have fucked up.
I tease girls. If a girl tries to kiss me next to a pool, I push her in. My priority is to have fun.
But none of this would work the same if I wasn't confident. Because you tend to take our your own insecurities on someone else.
[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's not something you can strive for. It's when the pill internalizes. Fake it til you make it. Fake it till you and the mask become one.
[–]Hollyw0od 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This.... Actually made a lot of sense. Lol
[–]LongElm 34 points35 points36 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Fuck this hit home. Swallowing the pill makes intimacy and love with a girl almost numb. It's human nature the way girls act.
Men are the true romantics. Girls don't know shit. Name me a female Shakespeare or a woman who truly sacrificed in human history. It's always the guy that's the tribute.
AWALT.
Hang in there man. It's really all we can do
[–]fuckin_retard7 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
When I first got out there into dating, I put girls on a pedestal, I was extremely considerate, and I always waited for the "perfect moment" to make a move, and of course that moment never comes. The results were disastrous. I saw these girls reject me and go for young men that acted like buffoons.
That's when I realized the flaws in my mindset.
I still want to love a woman at some point, but I understand now that I must be the leader and realize that her love is conditional.
[–]some12talk2 14 points15 points16 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I realize this person I've had such an amazing time with has no true love for me
you are still locked into wanting True Love (tm) Disney while you are missing the love of a woman. Which means you can have the most fun ever, have an amazing time, great sex, enjoy talking, shared experiences, and somebody that cares about you. It doesn't get better than that. Sadly you are leaving, but it will happen for you again.
[–]TRPsavedme72[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I dunno what "stage" I'm at anymore and honestly don't care. My hang up at this point is if I'm never going to receive the same "love" I give in return then what's the real point? If any random bar slut can meet my physical requirements for sex then whats my motivation for searching for anything beyond that? Why bother vetting or expecting any chick to be anything more than Ms "sure you'll do for the next 3hrs"? I've had enough epic, bed breaking, freaky sex to last me a lifetime, ruined my fair share of relationships and left more than a few alpha widows in my wake. Call me a beta, pussy wtf ever but at some point banging strange gets old, at least for me it has, and just don't feel like playing the game anymore. Don't get me wrong, sex is great but after awhile you realize all pussy is pretty much the same and just comes in a different wrapper.
[–]some12talk21 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
My hang up at this point is if I'm never going to receive the same "love" I give in return then what's the real point?
As Rollo states "The sexes evolved to be complementary to each other...". This means you don't get the same "love", but you can get a woman's love. Say you find a woman who is easy to talk to, pussy on demand, and either likes doing the same fun stuff you do or doesn't block it. In addition she does a lot of useful stuff complementary to you, which traditionally was some or most of the cooking, cleaning, and childcare but really anything that works for the two of you. She's doing stuff for you, you fuck when you want, she's easy to talk to, and nice to look at.
Let's flip it, here's when it doesn't work:
she doesn't fuck well and/or often doesn't do what you want
she is dumb as shit to talk to or mentally vacant
she doesn't do much for you (see the car door test, but since that is well known just notice what is being done for you, if anything)
she wants you to do her activities (such as go shopping with her, go see chick flick movie)
she doesn't want you to do your activities ("you can't go golfing today, we have to pick out a dress for me"), and this might be passive aggressive ("sure you can go golfing today, but then I'm going out with the girls tonight")
she expects you to pay for most of everything
pussy shutdown ("too tired tonight")
Now this is just about a LTR, marriage with children (marriage without children is pointless) is a lot more onerous
[–]Malfador 19 points19 points19 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
The love you are looking for does exist. It's you.
[–]redpillturtle 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?) that's the truth.
[–]fongiskul 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Your self doubt and low belief is the biggest thing that's raping you right now. I thought people on here were just gonna rip you for having legitimate self doubt/depression as a beta mechanism but they're smarter then that: they see that you've given up on REAL love.
Here's the thing I don't get. You fell for her. You realized the end result wouldn't amount to anything cause you're leaving. You're looking for pure legitimate love and self sacrifice on the other end and you know you won't get it from her. You're looking for wife material. Why did you suddenly lay down and die? Yeah she's not gonna be the one to give you wifey material. But you've gotten so cuddled up into your little world of self doubt and depression and AWALT that you aren't even willing to milk the experience for what its worth and learn from it. You've already given up on the kind of love you want before your first battle is over. Drop her and accept her for what she is. Move on. Find a different girl. Abundance mentality.
Point being- Man up dude. Stop living in a world of "woe is me i'll never find the right girl to marry". You improved. You got in touch with your Alpha. You know how the game is played. Hell you're better off than me right now. Just because your unicorn does not exist, does not mean you'll never find a woman of a particular caliber to wife. Women love sex, they love being dominated, they're fickle, they pull all kinds of sht. True love however (in a moral context because RP is AMORAL) does exist. I've seen wife material. They still want all of that sex and the shit tests and the hamstering but they only want it with 1 man. Again this is from personal experience. I've read about the hypergamic nature of women on here and experienced it first hand. That being said I also know 3-4 women who, I have without a doubt, are solid wife material: self sacrificing, fiercely loyal, and although they want sex (what woman doesn't?) the benefits of having a lot of sex with one life partner outweighs multiple sexual partners to them. Again I saw this coming from women who have morals so this advice is completely incompatible with guys who play the RP game fully (amorally). I know I'm gonna catch flak for expressing these views and I don't mind. I've learned a shtload here even when people are constructively criticizing or disagreeing with me.
[–]smajorp4 points 11 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
I actually agree with you to an extent. I do believe there are women worth marrying out there. I also believe if you are truly an Alpha male that you can deal with these issues long term.
The issue is I haven't internalized all of this Alpha behavior. This is probably the first girl that all of it has come naturally. I had a moment of self-doubt which led to ED. Then this just killed everything. I said we should wait a minute and try again. When we started back up, she said she wasn't interested anymore. Told her we would hang out tomorrow as I was leaving, went to kiss her and she turned her head. It was over.
What killed me is this girl seemed super innocent the first couple of times we went out. I actually started to think she was a virgin. Then as she gets more into me, I learn she's a freak. Used to rail coke and fuck like crazy.
I don't have permanent depression or self-doubt. I'm just bummed.
[–]RedPillscientist 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Look into illimitable man's post about dissonance. It was on here recently. The sentence about her seeming so innocent and how they pull it off is all neatly described there.
As for the ED thing...man been there. Even though for me it was the liquor wearing off and me realizing I wasn't attracted to the girl...it's like a personal attack on their very being that you don't find her sexually attractive, especially when they're in that vulnerable naked position with you.
Deep down I think women realize that their sex is the most important commodity they can offer a man and if you reject them for that, they feel unwanted and unloved more than you forgetting their birthday or other petty shit they they might complain about
[–]fongiskul 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Shit I see what you mean now. Sorry for the misunderstanding. And yeah you'll never know what kind of person she is til you really spend more time with her. Sorry you got blindsided man. Plenty of fish out there. Take it as a lesson, continue what you're doing, and pick higher caliber women. You got this.
[–]redpillcynic 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Innocent is a learnt appearance. The more innocent they seem, the more experience they have
[–]TRP VanguardWhisper 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As you climb the mountain, there will be switchbacks in the road, and the fourth is the most painful; it shortest climb, but the hardest. It tears the breath from your lungs.
Here is where your illusions have died, but not your dream.
But like the hero of some folk tale, you must sacrifice everything to reach the peak. It is the dream you carry that holds you back, that slows you down, that burdens you. Set it down. It is a stupid dream.
The love you imagine does not exist, and it never did. You don't need it and you don't even want it. There are no soulmates. No one is perfect for you. You will never just fit with anyone, like puzzle pieces made at birth in corresponding shapes.
The love of a man for a woman is the love a sculptor puts into the marble he shapes, it is the love of a man for the dog he raised from a pup. Yes, the marble, or the dog, could have been shaped by the hands of any man. But he is the one who did. Your dream is stupid. It is the dream of being so special that she could never have loved anyone else. That there could be only you, or no one. No one is that special. No one needs to be.
It is not the nature of women, but the stupidity of your dream, that burdens you.
Kill your dream, and be free.
[–]tatebequert 8 points9 points10 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's a marathon, not a sprint. I feel you.
[–]HAMMURABl 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For a woman, this is true love.
[–]reddiforlove 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Better to realize that it doesn't exist with her naked and on top of you than to realize the same thing three weeks later after you've failed a shit test and she stops returning your calls, because here's the thing: the fun never lasts with these girls.
They are better in brief bursts of enjoyment when you are still the shiny new object to them and they are on their best behavior.
All of these stories where some guy thinks he's found true love eventually end with some sort of painful revelation. Yours is better than most.
[–]M1s4n7hr0p3 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You had positive effect on target and you walked away. Because you are still holding onto expectations of Disney-style romance. If I could, I would slap you, for your own goddamn good. You just ruined a perfectly good opportunity that you had been pining for for no other reason than she was acting on her nature in response to you showing her yours. What the actual fuck? You have a long way to go, but I don't think it's in the direction you think it's in. You need to get over this idea of women as anything other than sexual creatures. Women aren't wonderful. Women are animals. So are you. Act on it.
Hey, thanks. I'm aware of my shortcomings.
There were a few details left out of this story, primarily our conversation after we stopped. I actually just suggested we wait a minute and try again. When we did, she told me she wanted me to leave.
[–]1cover20 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You got love from your mother. Don't expect that feeling from any of the other 3.5 billion females on the planet.
You'll get lust from girlfriends. You may or may not give them love, it doesn't particularly matter to the outcome. (Though oneitis is risky unless things are very settled between you two.)
You won't get love from your wife. Her love is for the children you will have together.
[–]ChairBorneMGTOW 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
I'm dealing with stage 4, depression, by becoming MGTOW. I come to back to TRP because I realized that eventually I'll come to the final stage of acceptance, and I want to maximize my success when I do.
But for now, I'm in a 2 year long (thus far) Monk Mode, working on myself, earning money by working in an extreme job away from civilization, etc. I have moved my retirement date ten years earlier by working the last two like this.
Just saying you might want to take a break from women. Maybe not two years, but until it's less depressing. Just focus on improving in the mean time.
[–]johnnywahd 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's been about 18 months since my last gf. Funny enough I found this site after we split up. I'm in about the same boat you are. Took a break from women, and as if standing up on a hilltop overlooking the games people play, I see it for what it is. Every interaction with a woman is filtered through the RP lens.
For me the downside of MGTOW was becoming accustomed to the peace and quiet and solitude of not having to deal with their teenage-ish behavior, self-created drama, and, of course, their never-ending shit tests. I know I'll have to give up those things should I choose to get back out there.
[–]ChairBorneMGTOW 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah. I hear ya. I have a FWB who would want a relationship, but she is back in the home city while I work on another continent. So long distance with NSA is a pretty low-drama situation. Not drama free, but low drama... and I get easy action whenever I visit home.
For you, might it be an idea to start off with a long distance thing?
[–]johnnywahd 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sounds like you have an almost ideal situation.
Logistically that wouldn't work for me. I refuse to fly because of the TSA. I could go the bus route of course. I just bought a new car and don't want to rack up lots of miles. I suppose I could always rent a car.
Anyway, I think I get what you're saying: baby steps, dip my toe in and test the waters of getting back out there.
[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So, you're about to get laid by a hot and fun girl and yet you philosophize and complain how 'this isn't true love'?
Inflated expectations much?
[–]326695RS 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Err... I think you are thinking too much over here.
You can't expect her to love you after one date. She had a great time with you and she wanted to keep that until you were with her.
There is nothing wrong with that. You should enjoy whatever time you have with her and end it on a good note. Who knows you might end up bumping into each other again in the future.
Relax. Take it easy.
[–]1favours_of_the_moon 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It does sound like she's at least getting personal.
[–]researchinprogress4 points 11 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
Why is that I discovered this sub last week and already feel like This sub is filled with a bunch of fagites in a never-ending cycle of self-deprecation?
Bros, when have you ever chased an abstraction(such as love or empathy) and recieved it in true form? Abstractions are not objects. Each abstraction exists in a spectrum and each person displays them differently... OP wants to find true love in a few weeks. That's really dumb... If you want fuck a woman for a few weeks and have good time, do it and be fucking present bro, life is too short...
[–]Lunchbox_Larry2 points 11 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Bros, when have you ever chased an abstraction(such as love or empathy) and recieved it in true form?
Wow. Started reading this post...geared up for the "bro-isms."
Found some serious depth. Good job. Good post.
[–]researchinprogress2 points 11 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Bro. Thanks, bro. Ya know meditation is key to solving internal conflicts. I'm no therapist, but I think overcoming internal conflicts is the optimum method to enjoying the external things in life and internal things on women. It's not necessarily about finding women; it's about being present when one is slamming her pussy on your dick. Or at least that's my shittytherapist prescription for OP.
[–]pheluhnee 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
What is this?
[–]Lunchbox_Larry1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
So focus on breaths? Always feel like I'm wasting time. Want the benefits now...probably the problem right there.
[–]ShitfacedBatman2 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I mix stage 4 and stage 5 with a little MGTOW. Because really, in the end we all die alone.
You need a guitar, or a hackey sack, or local bar to go to.
Here's the other thing too, I think stage 4 and stage 5 is where we get in touch with our feelings more. And as we learn we're not our thoughts, we also have to learn we're not our feelings. Both thoughts and feelings come and go - best you can do is "let them."
[–]Wilhelm_Stark 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You might be jumping to conclusions. You've known this chick for what, maybe a week? First time you saw her, had a great time, second time, your fucking. Alright. If your just fucking every single time, then it might be cause for concern.
[–]Mudane 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Damn can someone help me I accepted red pill but I never went through these stage and never did I hit rock bottom like this.
[–]trplurker1 points 11 years ago* [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Then you haven't really swallowed it. It's one thing to read some lines and nod up and down, it's an entirely different thing to internalize and understand the meaning of those same lines.
[–]Mudane 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
But I don't just read I live this stuff. I apply it to everything I do. I think I went through the stages before swallowing red pill. Like I accept women ways. I don't get mad no more its just in thier nature.
[–]Mudane 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I take that back I did hit rock bottom like this.
[–]user6580 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was the same as you but now I actually feel quite free. When I was younger I was chasing "that love" but now it's almost impossible for me to love someone in that "true love" way.
I love my girlfriend, but is she my everything? no.
[–]polu85 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dude that doesn't mean she doesn't love you. Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't. But she definitely feels something for you. And it sounds like she loves spending time with you. That's what it's about. Spending time with someone is the greatest gift you can give, that's irreplaceable time, gone forever, and she chose to spend it with you, and you with her. It's beautiful man, enjoy your life, it doesn't last forever.
[–]cariboo_j 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
That's called the honey moon phase. Your brain gives you a chemical high by releasing bonding and reward chemicals.
The evolutionary purpose - get you to inseminate this girl then stick around for a few months / years while she is pregnant / breastfeeding.
It's a pretty standard script that is hardwired into our brains. And it feels good. It's like a drug. In fact it IS a drug. An endogenous drug, but a drug nonetheless.
That's why short to medium term relationships are so easy and fun, while life long commitment often ends up in divorce or unhappy marriages. Life long monogamy is not necessary to pass on our genes, therefore it is not a standard script in our brains.
"True love" in the form of life long commitment only occurs when both parties agree to act against their own biological urges, and create a new script in their minds.
Most people lack the introspection and self discipline to do this...
Couple that with perverse incentives for divorce and socially approved "you-go-girl" mentality of women trading up... well I think you'd benefit from cynicism.
But yeah, it sounds like you were just in the honey moon phase. Try doing some coke or MDMA, it produces uncannily similar feelings.
[–]SeekingTheWay 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
god, i have been wanting to try mdma for ages. are there any actual downsides?
[–]cariboo_j 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Yup! Mood swings and general anxiety for a few days after. Look up "suicide tuesdays".
It gets worse the more you use it. I was doing it every weekend at one point and had to quit because the mood swings were affecting my job. Also short term memory problems at higher doses. I had some lingering short term memory problems that lasted for a couple months after taking a massive dose. That was the main thing that led me to quit.
That being said, if you respect it, have a source you trust and try it just once, or have the self discipline to wait 6 weeks between rolls, it's worth trying. Side effects will be minimal if you try it just once. Just don't get into a habit of use it every weekend.
Also it's pretty tough to have sex on it lol. Not so great on the blood flow department.
[–]SeekingTheWay 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
thx for the comprehensive description
[–]ChivaVonChiva 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
"Every relationship with a girl during this time was a game and it was noticeable on both sides that we were just playing who could be the bigger tease."
I'm right here now. How the fuck do I get out of that?
I think the key is to stop being angry/suspicious about everything because it sub-communicates in every interaction you have.
The biggest problem with this subreddit is that people immediately jump to "SLUT, WHORE, BITCH," similar to the way I did during this encounter. Frankly, I was wrong. I ended up contacting her and being honest about how I was disappointed we skipped hanging out. We ended up spending some more time together, but it ended. If I had not been emotional over this whole thing, there would have been no bullshit and we probably would have had a great time together.
I really feel like sub-communication is stronger than anything you verbalize with women. They see the little things that you do.
If you come from a place of stoicism and confidence, I think this registers strongly enough that women will not play games with you. If they do, you have the power to get up from the table and leave. When they see you leaving, they may apologize and never fuck with you that way again (although you will still get shit tested)
I don't actually process shit tests at this point. At least to the extent that I don't view them as a malicious attack from a woman. Many times I realize I've been tested long after it actually happened. I am passing them because I have a good sense of humor and the tests don't bother me. My life is dope. She can take part in it, or be left out. Also, your SMV will be higher than a girls if you have a dope life. If your SMV is much higher, why would a girl risk fucking that up with bullshit games?
Be ecstatic about your life and others will follow. This girl was really into what I am doing in my life. She was overwhelmingly complimentary and supportive about it. Since that is a newer feeling to me, I got emotionally attached to her and let that show. She didn't want to see my sappy side. She wanted to get fucked by someone she thought was amazing.
Live and learn dude.
[–]tractorferret 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
you're fucking bitching about getting laid? extend the fuck toy as far as you can extend it.
[–]colinKaepernicksHat 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I realize I'm having the equivalent of a one-night stand. I realize this can't go anywhere. I realize that she's already adjusted to the dynamic change and is ready to just be a fuck toy. I realize this person I've had such an amazing time with has no true love for me.
The realest shit I've read all day.
[–]emotionalpainkiller 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
"Oh my god this girl's fucking me! That means she can't possibly love me! All love is fake and my life is a lie!"
TRP is so fucking dumb sometimes it's comedy gold. I'm glad some of the more experienced RP'ers saw OP's story for what it was.
[–]vys1 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
New-age post incoming so bear with me Love in our minds is possessive: we want to 'have' the girl, we want her to 'be ours'; but what I have found is that true love is about accepting a girl; I mean really, half the time I ask girls why they did something and they have no idea; they are just following their evolutionary instincts. Af/bb, it's all the same; they are doing what they are programmed to do. That's why I never call any girl a 'girlfriend'. That implies monogamy, that 'you are hers and she is yours'. Instead I just call it an open relationship, because I know that hamsters will hamster and eventually cheat; so I make it such that they are free to have relationships with other guys and I'm free to have relationships with other girls. I feel much happier this way: no longer is it about 'you have to do this because I'm your bf' or 'I have to do that because she's my gf'. I learned to stop trying to own people. When you are going to die you realise that you never really owned anything in this life: your money, your possessions, even your girlfriend/wife. Learn to let go and have multiple relationships with women. Just be open with them and tell them from the start that this is not an 'exclusive relationship'.
[–]trplurker1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Yep welcome to depression stage, the place when you realize the real life long term implications of your new world view. You used many of those pretty lies to fill holes inside yourself and now that you've truly come to terms with how false they were you start to see all those holes and realize your missing something.
Good and bad news. The bad is that you'll never be able to go back in, you'll never accept the fantasy "she loves me" storybook ideal, even though you hear everyone else talk about it and go around pretending it exists, you will know for certain that it doesn't. Your going to miss the nice comfortable world view you had before, deal with it. The good news is that you can now accurately start building yourself up to be the man you want to be, you can replace that feeling of loss with various experiences and understandings that will make you a more robust man.
[–]Doctor_Mayhem -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hold on, lemme paraphrase some fucking retard who said something on one of my threads...
"You just gotta swallow that pill bro! You sound like a bitch! C'mon! Meditate and finish that pill!" By the way, you're gonna see a lot of this in the near future.
Welcome to Stage 4. You're gonna feel some of that anger again. It's gonna sting. You may even just say "fuck it" and not want anything to do with women for a while.
The good news: you don't have a long way to go. Just one more hurdle. However, you'll be kicking and screaming the whole way as you try to get past it. Trust me. It only gets worse from here.
[–]Lt_Muffintoes -4 points-3 points-2 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
It seems very apparent to me that you have not had any real relationships, because it doesn't seem to have even occurred to you to talk about how you feel with her and find out what her feelings are.
Edit: this is not meant as an attack
[–]RP15 -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
OP absolutely do not do this. This is blue pill garbage
[–]Lt_Muffintoes -2 points-1 points0 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
How would you suggest developing meaningful relationships?
[–]RP15 -3 points-2 points-1 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
The meaningful relationship you are picturing cannot exist in a sexual relationship with a woman. recognizing this is swallowing the red pill, and is the reason it is such a bitter pill.
OP describes this below. Once he shared his feelz, he was no longer a sexual candidate. If you want a meaningful relationship, make make friends.
[–]Lt_Muffintoes 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Hmm. Are women wolves or dogs?
I think that if they are wolves, the red pill would not be very bitter, because you could say "Well there's no point doing anything but hunting them for their pelts"
Whereas if they are dogs, with the potential to be loyal companions, but mostly have gone irretrievably feral, that is far more bitter.
I see the first as giving up, which is less painful in the short run, but long term, I think you'll end up less fulfilled.
Edit: and look, regardless of whether they are dogs or wolves, if you firmly believe and see all of them as wolves, that's what you will get.
[–]RP15 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Their loyalty is dependent on what you offer them and whether you offer it right NOW. The deep, meaningful relationship you crave will be dropped at the first sign of what they perceive to be weakness. This includes opening up, relying on them for help, or losing your cool, or frame.
There is no such thing as a male-female relationship between equals; the concept is blue pill/media propaganda. One party is always superior, but the relationship is only stable when the man is dominant.
[–]Lt_Muffintoes 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
One party is always superior, but the relationship is only stable when the man is dominant.
I agree. Doesn't mean you can't have a deep relationship.
A woman who thinks she gets all the support without giving, is not worthy of your commitment. Most women being disgusting subhumans does not make all women subhumans.
If you're now going to try arguing you can't tell in advance, don't bother, because if you make that argument, you're saying you should always mistrust everyone, in which case any discussion is futile.
As to how to avoid being dropped because of weakness: being a genuinely good person is like gold dust these days, like 0.1% of people are actually good. If you're with someone who values good, they won't throw that shit away.
[–]smajorp-1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I did have a long talk with her after we had sex. I also talked with her right after this happened and suggested we just wait a minute and try again. When we started up again, she wasn't into it and suggested I leave.
I said we'd hang out tomorrow and went to kiss her. She just turned her head.
[–]SpyderMaybe -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It is what it is. In the stages of death and dying I wouldn't ever tell someone not to go through depression or any other stage just to set them right or hurry the process along. OP is where he is.
Happy travels. Sorry it sucks right now. Live it for the moment. Be open to the next stage when it comes your way.
[–]Kid_Crimson -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
But most importantly, I realize that the love I'm looking for doesn't exist. And it's painful... I have a long way to go.
Depression, you say? That'll do it every time! Reality can be a harsh mistress.
It's kinda lame, but I often come back to a quote by Dr. Seuss in situations like this... “Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.” To me it's about being in the moment and being content and not living with regret.
[–][deleted] 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]1cover20 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same advice as I gave OP. Don't look for love from gf's or even your wife. Look for lust, desire, attraction.
Love is for the kids. You got love from your mother. A woman gives love to her kids, that's what they are built to do. If they're your kids too, be happy because that's what they need in their childhood.
In this case, it sounds like you ended it with this girl because of your own lack of understanding. Oh well, we learn by experience.
[–]squeadle 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You talked with her about her ex?
[–]Killigraphy -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Looks like you still need to let go of the notion that "love" is quantifiable. Love is merely a word, what matters is the connection it implies. The "love" you're used to, is one created by Disney movies and the media. Find what you can connect to, and fuck everything else...take that as you will.
[–]monzzter221 -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think youre looking at it from the wrong angle.
When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.
Also, chicks like to fuck too. I think all this talk about awalt and don't put them on a pedestal is great, but people forget that this equally applies. Chicks like to fuck. So what? Maybe she likes you and since you are leaving she figures she wants to fuck. So fuck her. I don't understand why this is so hard for men to accept.
[–]LeeryLucifer -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Eh, still blue pill all the way from what you wrote there.
Jeez, talk about putting vaginas on a pedestal.
[–]80smadmaxonly -2 points-1 points0 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You sound like someone who would do well with a bible thumper. It doesn't fix everything but it would better the odds in dating... But... They insist on marriage. Don't have kids if you go this route.
[–]BallisticTherapy -2 points-1 points0 points 11 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
People say that it doesn't exist, but people also claim to have felt it. How can you feel a feeling that doesn't even exist? You can't.
So either everyone that has claimed to have experienced it is lying, mistaken, or that feeling really exists.
I would go so far as to say that it could possibly exist. I haven't experienced it myself, but then again, there's a lot of things I haven't yet experienced. Being introverted will do that to you.
Now the questions you have to ask yourself is that if it does exist, do you want to experience it, is it worth the risk, & is it sustainable?
In most cases, I would say that it's not sustainable due to the way women are, and thus should be avoided unless you're willing to gamble on a "This one could be a unicorn" gambit.
But that does go against the whole plate-spinning, outcome-independent, abundance mentality that TRP dictates one have.
It could exist, but the odds of being able to capture it and have it last without getting crushed somewhere along the line are extremely low and the cost of pursuing it and it failing are high, and its more than likely going to end in failure. TRP protocols make it impossible to pursue if they're followed consistently, and TRP protocol gets consistent results. So one's best bet is probably to just go full Red Pill for the best possible realistic outcome.
The ones able to hold on to that kind of love over their lives are the 1%. Do you wanna bet on those odds?
[–]1CowardlyPetrov 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Projection of your wish doesn't mean something really exists.
I can wish magic is real and project the idea of magic onto people who can do things I can't understand, but they aren't really wizards.
[–]BallisticTherapy -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Right. But we're assuming that a deep pair-bonding type of love is a complete fantasy with absolutely no basis in reality. The problem comes in with that a-priori assumption. We've established that the majority of women are whores, but we haven't established that there is zero chance of having a deep loving relationship. It's HIGHLY UNIKELY at best, but we don't know that it's literally impossible. The fact that there are observed instances of people have had these types of relationships in the past suggest that it's theoretically possible.
Whether or not it's worth the probability of return on the guaranteed level of investment in order to attempt to cultivate is another story.
[–]1CowardlyPetrov 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The fact that there are observed instances of people have had these types of relationships in the past
Where? When? I have never seen any such instances.
[–]1cover20 -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Somehow though, the guys in those relationships always seemed pretty alpha. I think he was enjoying his wife's lust and knew that was all a man gets in this world, so it was enough for him.
[–]AdonisHera -2 points-1 points0 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't see the problem man. The world is a matrix anyways. You accepted TRP, so you deal with what comes with taking TRP. It is what it is man. You'll break through, hell even I still struggle with TRP
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