Getting disrespect from some girls

ChrimsonChin988 · 2022-01-27T14:42:09+00:00

You're probably also overcompensating, which makes them troll you even more and it becomes a never ending cycle.

Only way to win this kinda game is by not playing. Flipping over the chessboard so to speak.

If you're unable to and still care too much probably best to not hang out with them anymore.

I know the situation where people have made up their mind about you, sometimes it's better to dip.

Traditional-Lie-7381 · 2022-01-27T14:35:56+00:00

I cut out people from younger lifer because of this reason. People form strong opinions and as you mature and develop as a person they only serve to at best missunderstand you, at worst hold you back. Dont tolerate this from anyone you dont have to.

c4rdc0llector11 · 2022-01-27T17:36:00+00:00

Anyway we can bring back asktrp?

Acceptable_Yam4795 · 2022-01-27T16:18:05+00:00

There are two ways you can handle this: Escalation of the insult to show it doesn't phase you, or drawing a hard boundary if it seems like it's a woman attacking your nuts.

One of the foundations of a woman's attraction is a man's competence and ability to maintain boundaries. Women like men that can put them in their place when they're acting out. Stop them in their tracks if you don't like it. Don't go overboard but just casually say something like "Shut the fuck up, Jessica, nobody thinks your jokes are funny." It's such a diversion of energy from what she would be used to from you, it'd shock her. But don't get angry, that's a huge part of something like that. Just say it casually. Your frame when handling misbehavior should never be rocked or knocked off kilter. If she says something like "Excuse me?! What the fuck did you just say to me?!" just follow up with cool indifference and repeat "I told you to shut the fuck up. So shut the fuck up." And let that silence hang. And if she keeps escalating, instantly ignore her and divert your energy elsewhere WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD. That will be another shock to her system. A dude so completely unphased by her attempts to challenge him, he will literally just turn his back on her in the middle of a crowded bar or in a group of friends and carry on as if nothing happened.

The second thing you can do is just one up her joke. "Yeah, I am a retard and your a chick who hangs out with retards so who's the actual retard in this scenario?" Show that her little pissy comments mean nothing to you. "If I wanted to hang out with comedians for the night I'd find friends who were actually funny."

Just banter and show no snide comments will bring you down. Women are ruthless man, but it's only because they view weak men and strong men as two different species and weak men are food for them. You can't let them eat you.

meanas9 · 2022-01-27T14:25:09+00:00

Tbh if you don't get a joke then explaining someone a joke is kinda tedious/frustrating if it happens reguarly. If you don't get a joke then don't get it and think about it later.

If you want to get treated seriously and respected then act like it, if they still do it then take them aside and give them a serious eye-to-eye talk and/or cut them out. It's kinda sad that your ex had to do the talk to you because you should've acted way before she had to mention it. I think you're still insecure and immature for your age and partying and drinking till your late 20s doesn't excuse this.

I remember even in highschool that I took people to the side if I thought they were kinda disrespectful and gave them the talk and it stopped. At some point you have to start doing it yourself or it will become worse.

TopRPd · 2022-01-27T19:47:53+00:00

They don’t respect you because you haven’t smashed them. Smash them or stop being friends with them. Your only two rational choices.

Business-Cheesecake2 · 2022-01-27T20:30:33+00:00

Can't change the perspective, sometimes its better new friends.

My boy is an alpha, but his first girl always views him as a beta.

Because she met him as a beta.

sometimes it's hard to change that perspective.

athrowaway-9001 · 2022-01-27T22:22:48+00:00

When you start to become a person of value as opposed to the clown/donkey, people will start to shit test the fuck out of you.

You are no longer that person that they believe you to be. When you start to challenge the perception they have of you and that you are no longer neatly filed in a cabinet in their head-- they will challenge you at every given moment.

If they sense any weakness in your frame, they will think that you still remain the same person.

daddyenrique · 2022-01-27T16:38:52+00:00

The answer: you need to separate yourself from the folks from your younger days. The reason they see you as a "clown" and somebody to disrespect, is due to this being the only way they've ever seen you as.

I'm assuming you are in your 30s. If so, you need to surround yourself with individuals who are better than you are. It sounds to me as though you haven't branched out of the sphere you surrounded yourself with when younger, and I'd go so far to assume that the people you are with haven't either. This leads to a group of immature, like-minded individuals who all think the same way they have since middle school (or whenever they met).

Truthfully, the opinions of these people don't matter. It's not anything that is in your control. You literally, and I mean this literally, are wasting your precious time and energy focusing on these snobs instead of doing something productive. When you internalize that there are some things that ARE in your control, and other things that are 100% NOT; you'll be able to focus your energy on the things that ARE in your control.

It sounds to me that you're stuck seeking validation from others. The only way to fix this? Gain the validation from yourself. Take the pressure off of yourself of having to be "perfect" and accept the flaws you have. So what you partied and made mistakes in your early-late 20s? You're building yourself up RIGHT NOW, and improving day-by-day. Be patient with yourself. It's the only way forward. You only have right now, after all.

sassboysamJr · 2022-01-27T21:39:56+00:00

Law of power 16: Use absence to increase respect and honor.

Law of power 4: Always say less than necessary

IncitingDramah · 2022-01-27T16:09:12+00:00

I have 3 separate friends (girls)

No, you don't. You're orbiting them.

And i hate that.. it portrays to other people in the group that don’t know me that im some sort of idiot

Because you're an easy target with no back bone. Check their ass and be done. People will treat you exactly how you let them.

They all know me from childhood. So i know they formed that opinion from
a time i was very immature, class clown, butt of the joke kind of guy.
But now that those days are over they keep treating me like im that guy.

What have you changed about yourself to truly not be what everyone else is seeing you as?

It makes me sick and i feel like the only way to change peoples perception of me is to be successful. More than them

Welcome to reality. No one cares. Why do you?

I was brought up very irresponsibly without responsibilities or
accountability. All i did was party and get drunk up until late 20s

victim puke, and no one cares. You may not be responsible for your "trauma" but you sure as shit are responsible for fixing it.

These women are shitting on you because you're being weak. You post on TRP and don't even bother to use the tools? IDGAF attitude, pressure flips, Frame, ect.

lemmeseeatiddy · 2022-01-27T14:10:24+00:00

Sounds like you might actually be that guy. Especially since you’re in here posting about some comments people made about you

Ok_Management4634 · 2022-01-27T20:01:29+00:00

The only way to get a new start is to stop seeing these old female friends from childhood.

Women never forget something that is humilating or embarrassing to a man, they genuinely relish in bringing these things up, insulting you, etc.. The pattern of behavior was established when you were a kid.. These girls likely made fun of you then. No matter how much you improve yourself, the women will not notice, they want to remember you as "inferior" in their eyes.

It's good to get rid of people that are emotionally draining or just jerks in your life.. Just stop associating with these girls. It's honestly not worth it, is it? I mean, they aren't real friends (women seldom are real friends). Unless you occasionally get sex from them, why even bother to waste time with them? Try to increase your number of male friends. The older you become, the harder it is to make male friends, so don't delay.

acidwhale27 · 2022-01-27T15:45:56+00:00

This is where you give a comeback to keep such women in check. They need to "get it" that putting you down has consequences.

Cut her off and test her back or leave a witty remark. But don't make it too personal.

Subtly saying "and this one hit her head in childhood since then she goes on blabbering " with a laugh

Even a good stare topped off with an excuse me works.

Protocol_Apollo · 2022-01-27T19:33:33+00:00

Better question:

Why are you even friends with them? What are you getting from their friendship? Are they hooking you up with other girls?

No?

Then ditch them. At best, they are providing no value to you and at worst, they are leeching value from you.

DrunicusrexXIII · 2022-01-27T23:16:56+00:00

I'd say get some new friends, because those girls aren't it.

People who judge me on shit i did as a kid, or have their mind made up that I'm an idiot, deserve to be seen last in my rear view mirror. You drive far enough away and they'll soon enough fall under the WGAF category.

AnjaJutta · 2022-01-27T14:18:19+00:00

Instead of posting about it on the internet. Next time look at them straight in the eye and say "Do you know it bothers me when you say this?" If the thought of doing this fills you with anxiety then we have already identified the problem in yourself and not these girls.

ahackercalled4chan · 2022-01-27T14:44:20+00:00

how much can you lift bro? i bet if you had the body of Atlas, they wouldn't be treating you like dirt

AltaSavoia · 2022-01-27T15:47:19+00:00

It's a defense mechanism. No one without a damaged self-image would attempt to bring down others.

balashiranjeevi · 2022-01-27T14:33:55+00:00

Command the respect idiot....

Your a man.tell them straightly l,directly what they are doing... And you don't like that.... It ok to be agressive as well...

Before you become successful,be like successful..

Sir_Distic · 2022-01-27T14:54:14+00:00

People treat you how you allow them to treat you. Are you allowing yourself to be talked down to infront of other people? Put a stop to that.

You have a reputation among them as someone who is slow to get things. Pull the biggest offender off to the side and explain to them maturely. Do not allow them to push back. It's not a discussion. They are not going to treat you with disrespect and remain in your circle of friends. They can pick one but not both.

Honestly it sounds like they've cemented their opinion of you and don't respect you as a whole. It might be time to drop those people and find new friends.

NewCommonSensei · 2022-01-27T17:05:03+00:00

Just dip on them. If you have to interact, you can’t take the bone they throw, you have to throw it back at them.

Fabulous-Signal3612 · 2022-01-27T17:07:23+00:00

Find out if ur actually an idiot. 2. If not give these chicks very little of your time(I say none but these are childhood freinds). Sounds like they might need to get checked too

JudgementalChair · 2022-01-27T17:28:35+00:00

Sometimes you have to cut people out of your life. Even best friends who you've been through hell and back with. People grow, they change, if your friends aren't treating you how you want to be treated, don't give them your time anymore.

AptKid · 2022-01-27T19:48:06+00:00

What I usually do, when someone does this to me, is to point out even more stupid shit that they did every time they bring it up. But I'd agree that avoiding such people is better altogether.

sl_1138 · 2022-01-27T21:00:02+00:00

I'd say level up, and try to either laugh it off if it's genuinely a funny jab, or else dish it back at them even harder. They might actually be into you and are fishing for something. Maybe they want to know if you'll stand your ground. Just a guess. Or they may just be jerks. Either way, if you gain some confident wit and comedic bite, you can carry that with you forever, if these friendships happen to end at some point.

GuapoGiney · 2022-01-27T21:06:51+00:00

You stop getting disrespected by saying that they can’t do this kind of stuff with you. Tell them that you understand a lot of Humor but what they’re saying is just disrespectful and you shouldn’t deal with that kind of stuff. If they continue they won’t stay on such a low level of insults. You need to stop the disrespect every time. The most important thing in a relationship whether sexual or normal is always respect !!!!

GoldenpickleNinja · 2022-01-27T23:03:54+00:00

Thanks everyone. I know this isn’t askTRP but that is locked and I don’t know any other sub where you can get real advise thats not mainstream. Its crazy how much guys are willing to help in this community and sucks how its slowly being banned..

Rjw12141214 · 2022-01-28T02:03:42+00:00

You could also just straight up be like “hey I don’t like when you do that I know I used to goof around when we were younger but don’t disrespect me like that anymore.” If they are not willing to do that it’s time to find new friends. Why you hanging out with female friends anyway?

cuztrp · 2022-01-28T02:59:55+00:00

When people treat you like shit, treat them like shit too, be an asshole and put them in their places. Especially girls. Their self-esteem is so fragile that some savage jokes here and there and they could be crying in a corner.

I remember in a party once a girl asked me if I wanted some wine, I said yes, she fetched the bottle from the kitchen and then poured me some, we drank it and had fun then she handed me the empty cup and said, "Go get me some wine from the kitchen".

I was like, "Do I look like I'm a waiter?"

"No, but I poured you some, now it's your turn to return the favour".

I said "But I didn't ask you to pour me some. You ordered. And that's not how favors work". This is a big fuck you, don't tell me what to do bitch, but for the sake of not being the party pooper, I still brought her some wine. "That'll be the last time you do that," I said.

Later in that party, every time she asks me to do something, I remind her of her wine incident and tell her that I owe her one. Or when I ask her to do something, I tell her I'm afraid she'd oblige me later. I was basically making fun of her nonchalantly. Some people need that. Just be a bully but only when necessary and when people attack you. Other than that, just be decent and respectful of everyone else.

18cmOfGreatness · 2022-01-28T03:11:45+00:00

It makes me sick and i feel like the only way to change peoples perception of me is to be successful. More than them.

LMAO, good luck trying to prove yourself to people who don't respect you instead of actually letting them know their place by standing up for yourself.

oooKenshiooo · 2022-01-28T07:44:21+00:00

These people are not your friend. You are the court jester / village idiot.

Find a new social circle, move to a new city. Reinventing yourself is easier than fighting an uphill battle against the opinions of people who ultimately don‘t matter anyway.

monadyne · 2022-01-27T15:40:45+00:00

OP, you're being handed a powerful self-development tool on a silver platter here. That tool is the IDGAF mindset. Your reality is, you used to be an irresponsible asshole. Now you're not. YOU know that. And yours is the only opinion that matters. So why do you Give A Fuck (GAF) what some women think and say about you? Why the hell are you giving them the power to affect your feelings?

Some here have actually suggested that you go up to these people and tell them that what they say has hurt your feelings ... in the hopes that they'll stop. Are you fucking kidding me? "I used to be a jerk, but I'm a big, strong Alpha male now- - look it, I have ripped abs and everything! So, please stop bullying and teasing me. It really damages my self-esteem and makes it hard to, you know, establish dominance. So, please quit it, okay?"

^=sigh!= ^{I guess this is what to expect from people who grew up in the Participation Trophy era.}

I say, do the exact opposite. Spend time in groups where these people are present. Let them rip on you all they want! Use it to develop your cognitive skills:

"These stupid bitches are still reacting like I'm the asshole they knew before. That's not me. I've changed, and continue to improve myself. I do the work. Besides, IDGAF what these people think about me! Or any people, for that matter. If somebody gets to know me for my real self and likes me, hey that's great. If they don't like me... so fucking what! That's their concern, not mine. I've only got room in my life for a certain number of people. I don't need everyone to like me. I'm not some Instagram Influencer with pouty lips, for fuck's sake! I'm a man. I choose my course, follow it no matter how difficult it is to do so, and IDGAF what anybody else thinks. It's what I think that counts, and I think I'm pretty fuckin awesome. End of story."

Practice IDGAF thinking by being around these stupid women. Listen to their jibber-jabber and tell yourself, "I do not Give A Flying Fuck what they're saying. I don't let what other people think or say affect my reality, or affect how I feel. I'm responsible for both my reality and my emotions. I'm a man."

LandscapeClear1630 · 2022-01-27T15:33:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

CoeurDeLion-Sag · 2022-01-27T16:18:26+00:00

You insult them too...simple.

Oinkus42069 · 2022-01-27T19:09:45+00:00

Piss on them. Assert dominance

CimAntics · 2022-01-27T14:52:27+00:00

Are you the only butt of jokes, or is everyone taking and giving each other shit? Are the girls the only people dissing you, or you tolerate it from the boys and give the girls power by taking their negs more seriously? If everyone gets it equally and you are especially thin skinned, adapt to the group or find new friends.

If you're the only butt of every joke, they might be stuck in a childish habit, so let each offender know privately that you find their digs to be rude and/or hurtful. Ask them politely and maturely to please stop.

If they keep doing it, call them out immediately for being disrespectful. If they don't apologize, question why your other friends tolerate the negativity. Make sure you can hold yourself to the same standards of respect that you expect from the others, though.

jokertnt · 2022-01-27T15:42:43+00:00

Stand up for yourself, tell them to stfu. If your really do stupid things, then just accept it and tell them that you are really like that, they will not have a power after this

Ironic_Gangster · 2022-01-27T16:16:15+00:00

Just speak your mind "I'm not like that anymore " "That was a different version of myself"

Philosophipster · 2022-01-27T16:36:57+00:00

Toxic narc “friends”, they use you as a punching bag. Leave and let them use each other.

Pankomplex · 2022-01-27T17:20:14+00:00

They say things because they get a REACTION out of you.

Simply, ignore all those comments...literally behave as if nothing was said...don't even acknowledge their existence in that moment and not again until they speak to you in the way/manner which you believe you have earned; go on with the conversation as if they are not even present in your universe.

If it bothers you that much (see: you care about their opinion of these females and want to keep them in your circle); pull them aside one day and speak to them with authority and directness...not rudely or emotionally driven...simply matter-of-fact about how they need to address you going forward...no "consequence" or "ultimatum given" given...simply communicate your expectations and take into account their actions going forward.

Women are EVERYHERE man...and if you do not know by now that men and women cannot ever truly be friends...well I have some bad news for you.

It's quite simple.

LandscapeClear1630 · 2022-01-27T17:38:54+00:00

Nope.

Even if you become successful they are probably gonna keep treating you that way. You have already established a dynamic in which they disrespect you and they are gonna keep that same paradigm in their head since its what they feel comfortable with (people generally don't like change).

It would be way easier if you just get rid of them, but if you have to keep them in your life, you'll better start slowly changing this dinamyc by calling them out EVERY TIME. It's gonna get tiresome, but if you want them to stop and you want to keep them in your life that's what you'll have to do.

Eventually, when a new dynamic has been established, they'll stop treating you like that.

But again, it would be WAY easier if you just get rid of them.

ProductivityMonster · 2022-01-27T17:46:53+00:00

Pretty simple. Just give them the same level of comeback. I'm sure they have shortfalls as well and are not perfect. Turn the tables by focusing on their shortcomings (past or present). Watch some standup comedy. You could even prepare in advance since you know the 3 people.

Things that won't work:

telling them seriously that hurt your feelings. It will make you look weak like you care too much (which you do) and you'll just be a bigger punching bag.
giving very serious/hurtful comebacks. It just makes you look like a jerk. Keep it lighthearted and funny.

Or dip and find new friends. No reason to stay a punching bag.

TLDR; how old are you? This is stuff you learn the latest in High School.

The-Snuffleupagus · 2022-01-27T18:03:34+00:00

Think of some jokes. It sounds like they only have a few jokes on you so anticipate the script and think of some witty comebacks.

If you can look like you take a joke in stride then they’ll stop doing it. I imagine they continue to do it because you either clam up or they get some kind of reaction out of you, so learn how to react in a way that won’t satisfy them or flip it on them.

Silver-Discipline550 · 2022-01-27T19:29:18+00:00

My advice is to cut those relationships that keep you in the past. If you want to better yourself and grow and evolve as a person you can't keep these types of people around you, that keep you down, that doesn't want you to grow as a person and that keep you attached to your past. From my experience, that's what a lot of people do wrong. Think about the people that repeat over and over the same mistakes, most likely they keep frequenting the same people or the same type of people and it becomes a never-ending cycle.

decunnilinguist · 2022-01-27T22:57:18+00:00

Women don’t know dick about respect. Read the side bar and learn something.

uWuBigPapiGhost · 2022-01-28T01:09:37+00:00

Hey bro, not gonna lie.. uh maybe just tell them to shut the fuck up or just start pointing out the dumb shit they do. May not be the best advice and I’m sure someone in here has the “be the better person” counter argument. But I’m not afraid to throw heat right back at someone and I’m good at it, everyone is entitled to getting called out and especially women.

I get you’ve known these people for some time, but if they’re doing something you don’t like you either address it or stop associating with these people.

farendsofcontrast · 2022-01-28T08:24:06+00:00

Stop being a beta orbiter and stand up for yourself.

pappo4ever · 2022-01-28T14:40:32+00:00

In every group there is always one that is the pounching ball. Generally is someone that everybody knows, and that is a little out of the norm, so trolling him is safe. People do this to establish the social ladder, the pounching ball is not always at the bottom of the ladder though. More likely in the middle, someone that everybody trust that is non violent.

A way to fix that is to counter-attack savagely. Girls are very insecure and very easy to attack, you can joke that they are fat, ugly, or whores. Even if they are not. But they have to be smart, funny jokes or else you will look more like a stupid guy.

Another way is to agree and amplify. This is the Louis CK method, make fun of yourself, you will look like a smart guy and they will stop joking with you because it only makes you look smarter.

ralphanso · 2022-01-28T21:22:59+00:00

cut them off and focus on you. I had the same thing happen but now I just choose to hang with better looking women who are younger and more fun to be around. definitely don't get sour treatment from old girls now and if anything they just acknowledge I changed.

Seneca_13 · 2022-01-29T11:23:57+00:00

You need to stop hanging out with them, stop interacting with them at all. If you do, simply withdraw attention and leave if they try that again. The point is not to attempt to get them to change their perception of you, but for you to change your perception of yourself. Build yourself. You are making it about them, forget them.

Build yourself and ignore all that hinders your growth, the world will naturally form itself around you as you grow.

magnetradio · 2022-01-30T00:52:18+00:00

The way you solve this problem is focusing on respect instead of being liked. As a kid, I have friends who still bring up stuff I've done in the past when I was a teen or like 12 years old. Whenever someone says something you don't like, check them. This can be a simple "don't say that. I don't like that" or a quick witted remark.

For example:

Girl: "God, he is so slow to get these things"

You: "No, you are bad at explaining things. Just tell me what you mean"

Unfortunately, as kids we want to be liked before respected so we let the disrespect pile on over the years without checking it. When we want to be respected by these same people, it's an uphill battle.

Even if you become a billionaire, these same people will do the same thing. Check the disrespect before you become successful. They'll respect you as a man, and not because you're "successful".

teucy · 2022-01-27T14:29:56+00:00

How tall are you and what is your weight?

offtheshitproductive · 2022-01-27T21:19:38+00:00

First off this isn't asktrp, so shut up. Second you have multiple options. You can just avoid them for starters. But if they are too close knit with your friend groups then you can just agree and amplify, preferably with a made up call back to when you were young.

EXP: "he's too slow to get anything" "Yeah I remember in high school junior year you were flirting with me all year long, but you were just so bad at it I didn't pick up on it." See that in a jokey way with charisma and you're guaranteed to get a few laughs, and she will tone down that kind of joke in the future.

Title	Getting disrespect from some girls
Author	GoldenpickleNinja
Upvotes	94
Comments	103
Date	January 27, 2022 2:03 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/sdz43x/getting_disrespect_from_some_girls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/getting-disrespect-from-some-girls.1097280 https://theredarchive.com/post/1097280

Comments