How to Stop Being an AFC

tb87670 · 2016-02-07T04:33:39+00:00

Bookmarked. Just hit another fucking anger phase. Forgetting my prior sexual conquests I'm currently mad as shit from several women flaking on me this week all in a row almost as if they had a fucking conspiracy going on. One. After. The. Other. Each one alone is nothing and I brushed it off, but out of sheer shit luck they ALL flaked and the whole thing turned into a 'straw that broke the camel's back' sort of deal.

I feel almost exactly like I did back in my AFC days. It's a very eerie familiar feeling that I thought I would have never experienced again. This is exactly the kind of post I need to read at this moment.

tacoexplorer · 2016-02-07T06:49:43+00:00

Badass post OP. The IDGAF complex is like blending stoicism with the positives of nihilism. You literally don't care, because there are 8 billion fucking people on this planet and you're free to do whatever you want.

It's also important to note that not giving a fuck infuriates lesser men and attracts women simultaneously. Powerful.

sorceryofthetesticle · 2016-02-07T05:11:08+00:00

Excellent post OP, a realistic, simple solution to all of our problems.

My own spin:

THIS is the plight of modern society: Men don't have to fucking work. Think of all the soft-palmed, weak-willed pussies you knew in college (hint: most guys, I was one myself). None of them have had to struggle physically, they don't know what it's like to work more than their body thinks it wants to.

The ability to do that is honestly the source of everything we look for at trp.. Think about blue collar men who work with their hands: you can't possibly give a shit about what people think when you're hoisting 100 lb. sacks of roofing shingles up a ladder all day. You're almost constantly on a body high. If you can allow yourself some pride in your labor, you also don't give a shit what other people have that you don't, because you know exactly what you have and how to overcome your struggles.

Lifting is great, but to all you unemployed or younger guys reading this post, seriously consider take some time to do HARD labor. Get a job in the housing trades (construction, roofing, masonry, landscaping etc), and find a boss who rides your ass to work harder. It will fucking suck, but I promise you, one day you'll start to notice how great you feel after work, how amped you will be to wake up early to start getting shit done, and how little you give a shit about that bar slut who you got hung up on a few months ago.

fuzsylogic · 2016-02-07T04:17:17+00:00

This is perfect, there's no way around it, thank you.

chaseemall · 2016-02-07T05:10:40+00:00

It's interesting that you say it this way. I've noticed that I'm much more functional socially when in a sleep deprived state, despite being significantly impaired cognitively.

Perhaps the lifting is similar. IDGAF is simply a realistic examination of consequences; namely that for most of your actions in the social sphere, there aren't any. The creation of the effect, nonreactivity, seems to work well on reinforcing this truth.

IWISHIWASASECRET · 2016-02-07T05:22:48+00:00

Best advice I can give during this process is - Think logically, not emotionally.

MaladjustedMale · 2016-02-07T10:22:54+00:00

I love this sub. I've been lurking for around 6 months now, first on my main account then I made this one. I'm commenting for the first time tonight, 5 months after my one-itis of two years ended it with me, tonight a friend of mine told me she was cheating on me. This whole time I was thankful for not being one of the cucked guys who found this but turns out I was. But I opened TRP and found this and it's the most perfect reality. Thank you so much, I'm looking forward to my journey now and I realize the idgaf attitude is really what I need right now. I know it won't be easy but this post, and everything TRP, will be my life now and though swallowing the pill will be hard at times I know I need to stop tongue fucking it in my mouth and swallow. Thanks to you, all the ECs, all the mods, and everyone who puts in the time to this sub. edit: some typos and rephrasing of shit that didn't make sense.

metallica11 · 2016-02-07T15:16:15+00:00

I remember when I had a high grade fever and went to the grocery store, I literally started talking to this 9/10 next to me on the grocery store line. Starting give chit to her. She loved it.

I didn't even fucking realize that the only reason why I did that was because I was way too sick to feel anything but being sick. No anxiety/nerves nothing.

Regularguygamebrah · 2016-02-07T04:50:50+00:00

Can confirm. Have not given a fuck for the past ~3 months and went completely overboard and am currently looking to balance the IDGAF mentality. Result still 100% better than giving a fuck.

submitted_5_days_ago · 2016-02-07T12:47:53+00:00

There is no spoon.

You just cannot not give a fuck.

You give a fuck about what's worth give a fuck, the natural consequence is that you don't give a fuck about what's not worth give a fuck.

Analogy/metaphor:

Opportunity Cost.

You just cannot not doing something. You spend energy and time on what is worth doing, consequently you do not spend energy and time doing what is not worth doing.

You give a fuck about what other people think of you only to further your own agenda. If what they think of you do not further it, then you must steer their thinking to further it. That's the only reason to care about what other people think of you.

One simple example for those who need examples: Brand yourself, you'll see every interaction as an opportunity to further your brand.

Game everything you can think of.

dxfifa · 2016-02-07T07:01:28+00:00

Good post. I'm an AFC My problem has been that IDGAF about anything at all, not even myself. I have never had any ability to motivate myself internally. Not sure how to work on this

ShounenEgo · 2016-02-07T08:46:07+00:00

Great post!

Want to detect someone who gives fucks on Reddit? Find the person who deletes his opinionated post after he gets hammered by downvotes. Source: I used to be one.

Which brings me to another exercise: Don't be ashamed to express your opinion, the same way you don't feel weak when they tell you that you're wrong, and they are right. Even if you were wrong (which will happen lots of times, assuming that you don't put your ego as a shield - another rookie mistake) you just learned what's correct, you grew smarter, you improved. How's that a bad outcome?

Let the little men focus on the temporary feeling of "victory" from proving you wrong. You're in for the long game, and learning happens even from people that you hate. Fine, he/she "won" the argument, learn whatever you can, give no fucks and move on. Shame for being corrected is for the blue pilled idiots who identify themselves not from the ability to reason but from the knowledge in itself.

DforDeadpool · 2016-02-07T14:36:47+00:00

I knew a natural alpha. He said that "If you are worrying about something, just say fuck that in your head. That girl rejected you? Fuck that. You made a fool of yourself? Fuck that. Your parents got a divorce? Fuck that. Your home burned down to the ground? Fuck that."

Solid advice. It's basically rewiring your mind to NGAF. I wish I was better at NGAF.

twatbutter · 2016-02-07T16:06:09+00:00

I have to say, it always amazes me how vituperative people become towards you when you start making an active strive to improve your life. Back when I lost weight years ago, or when I started hitting the gym hard to bulk a year and a half after, my family and friends would all give me shit, but not outright. To clarify, they'd be "encouraging" in the most superficial way about my hard work in retrospect, but on a day-to-day level they'd always sneak in snide comments to put my morale down and make me feel bad for what I was doing. A lot of people ask "oh when I was losing weight, everyone was encouraging! Does it really happen to other people a lot?" This is a specific explanation of what I think goes on-- it's a slow burn though not an outright condemnation of you going to the gym.

As always, people only care about the end-product. They don't give a shit about the hard work that it takes to get there-- that task falls on you and only you. Once you stop using external motivation as an impetus for this, you also stop considering external "unmotivation" as anything but envy on someone else's part.

PantsonFire1234 · 2016-02-08T01:01:58+00:00

I found that if I don't observe others positive attributes I don't try to obtain them myself and aspire to learn something form them. This could be anything from clothing style to appearance to behavioral traits. I know this could be considered comparing yourself but I actually improve permanently learning from others. If I truly go DGAF I become passive and quit competing.

What is your take on competing while internalizing the IDGAF method? Is there room to strive to become better through competition?

I'm obviously talking about self improvement moments and private research/work. Social interactions full on IDGAF is obviously the way to go.

rakov · 2016-02-07T05:00:13+00:00

When I don't give a fuck, I have nothing to do. The only thing I may care about is other people opinion. I can ignore it easily, but then I'm left with even more crippling depression than before.

All your examples feel like lying to myself. Lifting for myself? But I don't want to lift, it's boring as hell and I'd rather play video games. Talking to chicks because I want to? The only thing I actually want is to fuck, and saying "hi, let's go fuck" won't get me anywhere.

Believe me, I know how to not give a fuck. I have what feels like derealization - when world is not more "real" than any of MMORPG - I've been diagnosed with depressive stuff from childhood, I'm a 23 virgin who rarely speaks to anyone or leaves home at all, my room is a complete mess, and I'm too lazy to even play games, so I lay there staring at the display until I become irritated enough to at least go argue online.

Irritation is the only thing that gets me out of the bed. And it's easy to become irritated by how unsuccessful and miserable, by other people's criteria, I am - so I'm happy to use it.

QPRCHOC · 2016-02-07T08:04:52+00:00

Great post. This really hit home for me. Whether I'm at the gym lifting xkg or studying a certain amount of hours I constantly compare my numbers to others. When I've finished my exams the motivation to study goes out the window - NO EXTERNAL STIMULUS. Really thought-provoking stuff, thanks.

Marr0w1 · 2016-02-07T09:35:52+00:00

Hey this is pretty good. I'd say this is similar to people who actually do interesting shit, travel the world, blow shit up, whatever. When they get back to their regular routine, it becomes easy for them to see how petty everything is, and just DGAF. I've been here temporarily, but then after a while, I find I start giving fucks again

jackpreston098 · 2016-02-07T11:08:50+00:00

Also explained in this helpful infomercial

Sketti-Os · 2016-02-07T12:10:31+00:00

I've always referred to this as "Office Space mentality" the mindset that Peter is in for the first half of the movie. Completely BAMF.

dmitri_adkins · 2016-02-21T11:32:30+00:00

Wow! This is exactly what i was looking for! I've been stuck since october, sick of constant failures, always worrying about what people might think about me. I really hate feeling that way. & then i read this post. Now i'm going to put it in practice! Thx /u/thiasus !

Josewasframed · 2016-02-08T04:48:30+00:00

you are so fucking tired you literally do not have the energy to give a fuck.

Such a great analogy. Good work.

basedkitty6 · 2016-02-08T12:35:10+00:00

Ice T - Fuck It

He puts it very well

fag981 · 2016-02-10T07:05:02+00:00

Can we not use PUA terminology like AFC around here?

NeoreactionSafe · 2016-02-07T16:47:56+00:00

The sequence from AFC (beta) forward goes:

Beta ---> No Frame
MGTOW ---> Frame
Alpha ---> Frame + Game

So basically the IDGAF attitude is central to Kill the Beta and establish the ego boundry that defines a man acting out of freedom.

The beta is not "free", he is "attached to need" that comes from others approval.

The sequence could be seen as:

Beta ---> No Freedom, No Liberty
MGTOW ---> Freedom, but No Liberty
Alpha ---> Freedom, Liberty

To have Freedom is to be "separated" from the herd mind. To have Freedom is to NOT imitate others, but to NGAF and think for yourself.

To have Liberty is to ACT on your free will and use Game to make your best attempt to gain Power in the world outside yourself. Since Power is always limited you must be stoic about your results through Game and adopt an Abundance Mentality with Outcome Independence which in effect says:

"I cannot have certainty that my Game will be successful, but I am certain that I have unlimited capacity to keep pressing my advantage seeking a positive outcome."

Donald_Fuck · 2016-02-07T10:12:17+00:00

Some of the most IDGAF times in my life have been when I'm sleep deprived. This method sounds more productive and I have experienced the feeling you speak of, after an intense workout. It makes sense. I will try this OP, thank you.

raydid · 2016-02-07T11:29:06+00:00

Extra tips for people with social anxiety?

Unvulcanized · 2016-02-07T10:41:13+00:00

Thanks for this post. I'm 19 yo trying to swallow the pill and this is going to help a lot. I was going to search in TRP on how to not give a fuck and this was in main page. Thank you.

Mental_Institution · 2016-02-08T14:34:23+00:00

People are asking where to find motivation to improve if you don't give a fuck. Just love yourself. You need to genuinely fucking love yourself. In that sense that you always want better things for yourself. Simple as that.

Love yourself + IDGAF (of everything else) and you're set for life.

JediBytes · 2016-02-07T15:13:48+00:00

How does one go about not giving a fuck if one is usually rather timid?

SwissPablo · 2016-02-07T17:36:43+00:00

I've seen plenty of FRs on here where a guy unintentionally doesn't give a fuck and gets instant results. It's a very powerful tool indeed.

whisky1111 · 2016-02-07T19:08:11+00:00

IDGAF is the answer!

I also refer to it as the 3 L's "Living Life Loosely"

BassNet · 2016-02-07T19:45:31+00:00

Question: doesn't this contradict law 5 from the 48 laws of power? You have to give a fuck of what people think of you in order to maintain a positive reputation, I think. I'm talking about social circle, by the way.

Monkey_Jerk · 2016-02-07T10:33:55+00:00

Nah when I'm tired is when I get the most anxiety. The last thing I want to do after lifting is socialise. I used to play soccer competitively too. After a match or training sessions I didn't want to speak to anyone. I find anger gets me in a IDGAF state on occasions though.

wakocid · 2016-02-07T14:50:20+00:00

Funny, I would have thought there would be no, 0, comments.....

Title	How to Stop Being an AFC
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	507
Comments	124
Date	February 7, 2016 2:14 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/44jgrc/how_to_stop_being_an_afc/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/how-to-stop-being-an-afc.56024 https://theredarchive.com/post/56024

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