Social media has me f'd up

brostrodam · 2017-07-29T00:02:05+00:00

I know it's cliche but dont compare those people on instagram to yourself. You don't know what kind of life they live during the time they aren't posting. They are only showing the world what they want the world to see. You think they are gonna talk about the shitty days or their insecurities? Fuck no, only the choice, good stuff.

Do yourself a favor and delete that shit forever while you are still young. Delete all social media that isn't contributing to making yourself better.

Save your money, hone your skills, eat right, and lift heavy.

The rest falls into place.

FrodnarFancypants · 2017-07-29T00:04:00+00:00

Fuck dude, you are so young I don't know what you are worried about. I'm 34 and I only discovered the RedPill a year ago. I wish I had discovered it at 21! Do you think I regret being bluepilled for all of my 20's? Fuck yes I do. But it is never too late to swallow the Pill. Ever. At 21 you are just starting your life, so stop worrying about all those other kids showing off on social media and just worry about yourself. Lift, study, transform. Ignore Instagram if it makes you angry and envious, if all you are doing is oogling people then it's a waste of time. It takes years to sculpt your mind and body into that of a real man, but if you start working on it now you will be a king by the time you are my age. Build your empire kid.

Fencer300 · 2017-07-29T00:04:14+00:00

Social media is not reality.

keysomea · 2017-07-28T23:43:55+00:00

You know, I've quit social media for a while now. It was a good decision since now I have a lot more free time. IG and FB are pretty much time killers. But IG is the real deal since it hoards up pretty much a lot of attention to bitches everywhere is like a fucking plague. Social medias make girls that are ugly feel wanted and so they think they are the prized possession to every single man and therefore up their ego. Really if I was you I would only use social medias to DHV other than that is pretty useless

TunedtoPerfection · 2017-07-29T01:36:04+00:00

Social media is a facade, it basically just a platform in order to present the world with "the best version of yourself".

The people on Instagram "travelling every week" get paid to do it, it's their job. Even then, it's the same 5 - 10 trips they took with in the last 1-3 years.

Think of how many pictures a woman takes just going out to the same boring nightclub she has been to 1 million times before. It's a fuckton, most end up on the cutting room floor of her photo's gallery.

Now process the amount of pictures the same woman would take, in a new country, surrounded by architecture and art not even fathomed in the west. New men, and culture to experience, new food, nightlife, new basic scenery. Now imagine instead of deleting all those "failed" pictures she saved them and slowly leaked out them every 2- 5 weeks.

Now realize every picture on Instagram that looks "unscripted" had 5-20 takes before it deemed "just right".

Now realize most people will not go back more then 2 - 5 months on a person's stream if it is heavily populated. So the danger of being found out of reusing pictures of 5 months to a year ago is net to nil, and anyone that would call you out on that shit is automatically shunned with the shaming rally call of "CREEP" for noticing and bringing it up.

Honestly I get it, I use to fully hate and detest social media. But it does not take a LOT of effort, it just, like most powerful tools in life, takes more maintenance. You are able to feed the maintenance by putting in a tad bit more effort in your adventures.

People that get into photography as a hobby always have the same problem. You try to differentiate your photos from the photos of "amateurs" with your "knowledge of technical skill". Which I think is fucking awesome and fully support, though I do not support the way you do it.

See an "Student of photography" tries to set the frame, they realign their camera, the tripod position, wait for exactly 35 - 45 minutes into the day's "magic" or "golden" hour because that is the "peak time for colour". They try and control it all. That will not and does not work for social media, this only works for a purpose driven art piece that has a message. The way you use your skill impressively on social media is to weed through the garage dump of 10,000 pictures you took having a blast:

EXPERIENCING THE MOMENT YOUR IN AND TRYING TO CAPTURE

and picking the best 10 to post... then you pick the next best 10 and post then 4 weeks later as a "Throwback Thursday" remembering your trip.... then you post the third best 5, with 5 from the first best ten in the mix 6 months latter before you take your next trip as inspiration... Then you compare the 2 trips 5 months in to the cycle with the next trip... have 5 trips rotating and going at once and you never need to leave the house but people will think you have been jetsetting around the world ever week...

That is all social media is, amateur photographers taking a literally garage dump of digital photos and slowly leaking them out.

My roommate hasn't left the house expect for food and the visit to a bar in a week and a half... you look at his instagram, facebook, google+ you would like he has visited half the world in that time.

Stop comparing yourself to ideal image that other are putting up of themselves.

AwwChrist · 2017-07-29T02:38:37+00:00

Hey brother, don't sweat it. It's all a fucking illusion. I dated this young little thing who had thousands of IG pics and a ton of followers. It looked like she had her shit together and she lived in a nice place. It was all bullshit. She lived like a fucking slob and let her dog shit everywhere. Mentally she was a mess and couldn't find it in herself to pick up a broom or clean the gross ass extension hairs from her sink. Don't believe everything you see.

Thotwrecker · 2017-07-29T06:38:58+00:00

I'll give you the same advice I told my younger brother about Tinder. He's been using tinder a lot and he isn't getting anywhere, whereas I'll reel in 1-2 bitches a month from light tinder use.

I told look, you're 19, skinny, and Indian. You're trying to have a presence on a site that is completely focused on looks, where the stereotype of our race is really bad (and it's rightfully so, I'm the ultimate anti-race whiner, and our shitty results on tinder are from many, many indian dudes spam messaging the most fucked up cringey shit to white girls constantly). Seriously, read your plate's tinder, your butthole will disappear from the cringe.

The point being, you're not working with anything marketable yet. You are at the bottom of the barrel and you're trying to compete with muscular dudes posting up shirtless pics and flashy car pics and hot bitches pics, pics at lit venues, etc.

I get maybe 1 swipe back out of 30 swipes. Similar SMV white friends I know get maybe 1 out of 6. Now my brother is out here getting 1 out of every 1000 or worse.

So get the fuck off Tinder until you have the value. You have to look twice as good as the average white dude. (Again, no complaints, that is reality, swallow the pill and lift).

My advice to you is the same. Get the fuck off social media. Social media is a really, really good tool to reel in pussy when your life is awesome and you can constantly DHV (demonstrate higher / high value) through uploading shit you would anyways do.

First, you build up a cool life. Go earn the cash to buy flashy shit, travel, invest, etc. Get lotta pics with you and various hot girls. Learn to have a few plates. Go live it up.

Then IF YOU WANT, you can document your shit on instagram and snapchat and IF YOU WANT to focus on getting laid through social media, you have the tools.

Until then, you don't have the ingredients to be in the "social media sexual marketplace" - you're just going to be that weird "I want to shove my face in your ass" dude commenting on hot bitches. Just get the fuck off, there's no pussy there for you, no value there for you.

Like I told my brother, first you learn how to get bitches in real life and you get to the point where your SMV is high enough that ONE PIC can telegraph it clearly. Then, you beat the odds on social media or tinder or whatever it is.

If you cannot regularly upload pics that say "I am in the top 5% of guys who are fucking all the bitches" then just get off, you're just a follower. You're just running on your social media hamster wheel making Speigel and Zuck a few bucks.

mrthrowaway413 · 2017-07-29T00:41:14+00:00

I made a post on Social Media some years back.

The majority of posts on Social Media are meant to make others feel exactly how you feel, jealous.

Be aware of that and it really isn't that bad.

Abuse and exploit that and you got another weapon in your arsenal

RespondsWithImprov · 2017-07-29T00:17:57+00:00

It has nothing to do with you. It's just pictures of people. Your life is you.

771water · 2017-07-29T00:42:44+00:00

I deleted all my social media and it is the best decision ever. One of the mandatory steps to get out of the matrix.

DonnySequoiaBuddz707 · 2017-07-29T02:26:29+00:00

Listen, I am 27 and been reaserching plenty, and here is what I will share with you. 1. Social media is a highlight of the best moments in those people's lives. They also have insecurities, boring moments, and work just like you. They also compare themselves to those around them. HB 6 posts selfie making cute face drinking iced coffee out of a straw? 230 likes. Average guy posts a pic of the extravagant hike he took? 41 likes if he has a good social circle. It is not reality, only creates a perception of reality. Don't allow likes and comments to be such an important source of validation. ( people have mastered the art of looking way better then they actually do with a camera) 2. I use social media for promotional purposes of my art, I post, and log off. Social media is mostly filled with time consuming nonsense that serves only as a distraction for me to accomplish those things that are truly important: lifting, making money, learning, reading, traveling,and becoming the strongest version of yourself. REAL LIFE EXPERIENCES 3. My last bit of advice, remove the app from your phone and don't go on. For three months, lift, diet, train, and read all info you can. Go on hikes, hang with your bros in real life, call your grandmother and ask her what it was like in the old country, flirt with the waitress, study nutrition and body building, and spin those plates. You'll be a better man for it.

[deleted] · 2017-07-29T05:56:34+00:00

Social media is fiction. Girls just travel now to be able to post pictures of themselves and gain validation from their followers. It's very rare these days for someone to be fully present in the moment without thinking "how could I use this beautiful moment to gain likes"?

DigitallyDisrupt · 2017-07-28T23:46:48+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw

gamechanger97 · 2017-07-29T05:06:16+00:00

Hey man,

I'm 20 and have literally deleted social media of my phone -- except for Snapchat to keep in contact with friends.

And Jesus dude has this freed time up for me and not only had it done that but I feel way better.

I feel more in the moment it's quite a strange feeling to describe but I feel more in the now -- more present in everything I do.

Not only that but people for some reason tend to admire you if you don't have any social media. Really shows you who your good friends are as well because they will go our of their way to contact you since it's not as easy as it would be if you had all that toxic social media shit.

Instagram for example had no other purpose to me than making me feel like shit with the exact same feelings you are describing - cut that shit out work on yourself and perhaps return to it once you are ready to use that platform as a way to advertise yourself rather than follow fake friends who are fake people posting fake shit with fake smiles.

You are not running away from anything because the thing you are running away in itself is fake and a platform that people use to escape reality.

Cut the toxic shit out -- work on yourself and like I've seen many times in the comments 'everyrhing will fall into place'

Good luck bro.

Fedor_Gavnyukov · 2017-07-29T05:23:51+00:00

you're trying to compare yourself to others. social media is 99% fake dude. i'm telling you that as someone that worked in marketing for over a decade. someone that actually is living up their life, doesn't have time to post garbage every 2 hours of selfies and the food they eat. you can create an "image" of yourself as well to seem like you're all over the place having fun, but its only an illusion online.

sure, there are people that travel the world and have travel blogs, but those are like 1 in a million or more. best you can do is concentrate on your own and keep being disciplined. have fun with your friends when you can and do what you have to do. trust me bro, you're only 21 years old. i partied my ass off, snorted coke off girls' tits, and gave absolutely zero fucks, and i had probably a lot less self realization back then than you do. you're already at an advantage than most people just by being here. don't sweat this bullshit, just adapt and do your thing. opening your eyes to the truth is often not the best feeling, but at least you know you can't go back to the way things were and that's a breath of fresh air. good luck to you.

SkorchZang · 2017-07-29T02:30:52+00:00

The social media experience shows you a distorted picture of other people's (supposedly amazing) lives. That part's not real and nothing to worry about. But there's something else here, note how it's also showing you a chink in your armor, a weakness for feeling not good enough. Easily becoming de-valued and lost. Angrily rebellious against this fate, "it's not fairrrrrr!" like some little kid. The resentment and jealousy almost. Note how feminine all of that is.

This inner thing is very real and something you'll have to deal with one way or another. Comes from growing up on the blue pill, worshipping women and fake shit, not knowing what you are, why you live, why you die.

ClassyMuthaFucker · 2017-07-29T03:44:04+00:00

One of the things people in this sub like to mention is abundance mentality. They'll tell you how it'll help you with girls but I've never seen anyone mention how it could fuck you over, which it has done to both you and me. You're assuming that every one of the people you follow or the people that are following you are going out every night having a good time, which may very well be the case. But you have to remember that social media only puts the highlights of your life up. Have you ever seen a girl crying her eyes out on Instagram? I don't think so, and if you have, then it probably sticks out in your head because it's such a rare occurrence. I see Instagram as a platform where everyone is trying to upstage everyone else. This might not be the reality of it, but that's how I see it. I'm 21 and I feel as though I live in a generation that's more concerned with documenting the thing than actually doing the thing. If you get drunk and dance, you will be recorded, but who's having more fun: the guy behind the camera or the guy out there making a fool out of himself? I'll tell you one thing: you don't stand out by hiding behind the phone and pointing it at someone. What you're pointing the phone to is the center of attention and the center of attention is the guy that's getting laid (if that's what you care about by being on this sub), but don't just assume every Chad out there is fucking a different girl every single night. I have this mentality where if I know it exists, I feel the need to account for it. But I will often forget how rare it may be, and Chads that fuck HBs every night are the few, the rare, the elite. I grew up watching porn and I have penis size inadequacy issues, despite being larger than average, because I grew up believing every girl was a size queen and knowing mondo dicks are out there. I feel inadequate even though I'm in the 90-something percentile in both length and girth. I don't mean to brag, it's just to show you how real something can be in your head and how disconnected your head could be from reality.

You'll never see posts on Facebook like "I just made a sandwich and it was okay". Instead, you're more likely to see "Just had a burger at blank and it was the best".For me, that's not really worth sharing on Facebook, but that's just me. Again, social media only recounts the highlights. On Instagram especially, girls never put ugly pictures of themselves unless they're fun or goofy. Back when I had an Instagram, (and even still on Facebook,) I would put the best pictures of myself because I'm trying to pull girls.

Realizing how depressed social media made me made it very easy to remove myself entirely from social media. I go through phases where I'll delete all the platforms off of my phone and not use them for a few months and then re-download them and use them for a week or two then delete them again because I get sick of them. I've been doing this periodically since the first time I made a Facebook. I think I'm on my 5th or 6th profile.

The only one I maintain now is Facebook, and it used to be because Tinder required Facebook and I used Tinder, but that is no longer the case. Facebook used to be about your friends sharing things that happened throughout their day, and now it's just a bunch of people sharing crude images they find funny and their opinions on politics, but this is not for better or for worse; it's just different. So why do I still maintain a Facebook knowing that social media makes me depressed and I don't get that much enjoyment out of Facebook?

It's not so I don't run away from the reality like you said in your post. It's about keeping tabs on the people that are important to you. I once saw an article that lists the top 5 regrets of people that are dying. Number 4 on the list of no parricular order is not keeping in touch with your friends. My goal in life is to be happy, and the reason why I subscribe to this sub is because it provides me with knowledge that I feel improves my life's quality. In the past, I've been far more antisocial and that's a behavior that I know I need to change. So even if I don't go out and spend the entire day in my bedroom instead, I still have some way of communicating with strangers and friends.

You don't have to go as far as I did and delete all of your social media. You just delete the apps from your phone and keep them off for just one month and see if you're happier not thinking about Chad and his amazing body fucking HB 10s that you'd be too intimidated to even look at in real life. I've felt much better since I've had this realization. If you don't want to fall off the face of the Earth, I'd suggest picking your favorite platform and sticking with it. I actually enjoy Snapchat a lot more than I enjoy Facebook, but I'm sticking with Facebook because it provides me more opportunities to socialize with people and it's far less maintenance. Also, I don't like having social media apps on my phone, so I restrict myself to using Facebook on my laptop.

Let me know if any of this works for you.

Take care, Chris from Miami

PSJustKidding · 2017-07-29T05:53:09+00:00

Hey, don't worry about them. The thing about the world is not EVERYBODY can have that oh-so-easy life. Some people have to work a bit more to achieve their goals. The goals themselves vary so much from person to person so don't look at it as a parallel.

And 21? That's nothing. I'd say that's more like the age where life for you is just starting. If you know what you want in life and work for it you'll get there. I wasted away my 20s and regret it a bit now. Dropped out of college, hella unhealthy diet, just working any 'whatever' job I had at the time. And hell, I'm still figuring myself out.

I'd say the teen years are your, do almost whateverthefuckyouwant years. I think that's a bit why college and people hitting their 20s is so weird. It's like making a hard cut into, oh shit, like, I've gotta figure something out.

The perfect body? As long as your being healthy your physical appearance can come secondary. Just make sure that the vision of yourself is YOUR vision and not social media. That's a small(ish) test pool and doesn't define the world view of what's right, wrong, perfect, or not.

If social media is really getting you down then maybe take s look into who your following and friends with. Maybe their lifestyles are a bit skewing or toxic to what your ideals are. Because once again everyone has a bit of their own unique ideals and world views.

Be yourself. You'll be happier for it. Maybe it will be a bit hard at times to see whatstheirface having the 'time of their life', but that's them posting the best of it. That's not when they see their Bank account has $38 in it or their credit card is reaching the limit.

You have sooooo much time left. Really, I swear, you're just getting started.

StuttBuffer · 2017-07-29T04:10:34+00:00

Either use social media to promote yourself or abandon it altogether. Either way, following other people's lives is a retarded waste of time. Especially when you are only able to see what they want you to see.

2comment · 2017-07-29T07:54:44+00:00

I know the simple answer is to just stop going on social media but wouldnt that just be running away from reality?

Reality is what you see and experience firsthand irl. Experiences you can judge and reevaluate and mentally replay time and again.

Social media isn't reality, it's human manufactured narratives and all narratives are heavily edited and filtered to suit the person sending it out. When you consume stories from any source, realize who the storytellers are and their motivations -- most common is to make themselves look good.

If looking at it motivates you to do better, go look at it. If it just makes you depressed and want to stay in bed, then don't.

bestmaleperformance · 2017-07-29T17:44:56+00:00

I have an advertising company and work with large brands, included in this, is the unfortunate aspect of now woking with instagram/youtube "celebs" for product placements and if it makes you feel better, I can tell you these are largely the most unhappy, insecure people I meet.

You can get a great body, you can make a lot more money, you can travel, you can do all the things these people do but for yourself instead of fame and fake admiration which is the key.

These people spend literally 10 hours a day working on getting a good picture. Location, outfits, taking 1000 shots, waiting for different times of day to see if that makes a better shot, etc.

They don't enjoy their lives, it's impossible to enjoy a good meal, or an adventure when it's consumed with you getting the perfect picture or shooting a good video.

My life is 1000 times better than most of these people with millions of followers, I live my life, they exist only to be consumed by others.

Barvazon · 2017-07-29T18:54:08+00:00

Take responsibility.

It's not social media that has fucked you.

You fucked yourself with social media.

GOATmar · 2017-07-29T04:28:39+00:00

99.99% of Anyone who uses social media very serious is likely a piece of shit.

michael_wilkins · 2017-07-29T02:11:33+00:00

every fuckin time i go on instagram

Yo Imma let you finish but ~~~Beyonce had the best~~~ just don't do that part then, the going on instagram.

Lateralanouncer · 2017-07-29T01:32:57+00:00

You body is a result of what you eat and do with it. If u control what u eat and do (lift or don't) over time you will reach you physically goals that you action.

Your mind is the same. Fed and exercise your mind to reach the mental goals that you want to achieve. Like your body it will take time.

thelidpatrick · 2017-07-29T01:49:22+00:00

Just deleted my instagram after just two weeks of reactivating it after being disabled for 2-3 years. Absolute waste of time.

Steelrain322 · 2017-07-29T02:33:10+00:00

Man those young guys enjoying riches and traveling ect don't even know how good they have it, so they don't really appreciate it. Don't be envious bruh, that's just the ego. Happiness can be found in the smallest things everyday.

deephurting666 · 2017-07-29T04:53:59+00:00

Only sheep and robots are influenced to easy, grow a mind of your own! Who cares what anyone else does!

pussycatmando · 2017-07-29T05:22:50+00:00

Your value increases with age, you'll be banging more Miami 8/9s when you're 30+ than you'll know what to do with. I'm an average looking 37 yo but I'm ghosting 8s on a weekly basis. Ig is a contest about who can be more fake and outrageous, it's all fake, never forget #bowwowchallenge.

Kalidane · 2017-07-29T05:23:28+00:00

U wot mate?

Instagram pics and hashtags do not equal real life.

Befriend a legit published model and get it explained with all the details. And then the Photoshop guy.

Magnum256 · 2017-07-29T05:59:14+00:00

It's all about how you frame it. If you look at people and feel jealousy or envy, that's not the kind of influence you want in your life, especially if that doesn't motivate you to go stronger and harder to better yourself but instead just makes you feel angry or sad or whatever.

Personally I try to never really feel jealousy/envy, and I mean truly not to even "feel" it. If my friend gets a job promotion and is suddenly earning $20k/year more than me, I genuinely congratulate him, I don't feel resentful or angry or bitter or envious, I just keep doing my thing and with some luck and hard work, hope that my time will come too. I wouldn't say ignoring those social media platforms is cowardly or "running away", it's recognizing that it's an unhealthy influence and that the way your psyche is built, you just don't benefit from seeing that kind of content. Nothing wrong with it, people survived just fine in past generations without social media ever existing.

Keep in mind too that nearly every photo or video you see on instagram is going to be selected by the poster specifically because it's a "highlight" it's something they have chosen (often out of hundreds of other photos) to show off a moment in as perfect a way they can. It doesn't mean they necessarily have a great life, or are happy, or are any better than you. If you went out for a week with the mission of creating the most impressive instagram photos possible, you could probably get some great ones as well that would provoke jealousy in others.

Also 21 years old isn't too late at all, I mean very few guys really get serious about lifting and fitness before ~18-19 anyway unless they were on a competitive high school sports team or something (not the majority) so I wouldn't sweat it. Just stick to a routine and eat right and you can transform your body in a few years.

OsmiumZulu · 2017-07-29T06:25:38+00:00

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is now" - Chinese proverb.

Don't worry about when you woke up from the matrix, just be grateful you did. Most people don't even get that far.

decamping · 2017-07-29T06:40:16+00:00

In short, social media and the necessity of the internet has severely affected society and social interaction. I don't personally take part in any social media except reddit and sometime Imgur. Can't waste time - it's your most valuable resource. Social media can be used as a tool but shouldn't have influence over your life. As a general rule, if you can't do without something, your addicted to it. Plenty of people will and do disagree with my opinions on social media/technology, but I don't care because my life is much more fulfilling without those things.

Second thing: only compare yourself to your past self. If you see progress, that's what matters. Others may not be making personal progress although they appear outwardly successful. Regardless, you are you, so do you and forget about them!

Hang tough, keep striving forward. You got this.

Aestheticcunt1996 · 2017-07-29T07:08:44+00:00

Actually, quitting social media isn't running away from reality, but to connect to reality. I think I don't have to elaborate on this. Remember: the time you spend on social media is some time you spent on mindless, purposeless, unnecessary, in your case even harmful (to your self-esteem) bullshit and the time (in which you could've worked on developing your character) will never come back and has left your life forever.

Imperial_Ova · 2017-07-29T07:51:31+00:00

While I won't act like I haven't been mortified by social media (I largely compete in the academic realm, and I get pretty pissed when my 22 year old Harvard graduate friend just got a Rhodes scholarship to Oxford), over time you largely need to cultivate a mindset of "I'll compete only when I have fun competing, and only on terms that please me"-- that is not to use the mindset as an excuse to not compete at all, no, but competition needs to come from a well-grounded center, and a place of amused inquisitiveness ("How far can I push myself"). Do you really want to "make money travelling the world" or have "the biggest muscles of the bunch"? Or do you just resent them because they seem "happy and successful"?

Most people would be totally content with being in the top 10% of musculature (totally enough to get chicks, any more requires far more effort and dedication at the expense of not having enough time for your other pursuits) and travelling to a foreign country once per year. Any more might actually get tiresome, and not so fun at all.

Remember that even "monk mode" (and really, all of self development) needs to happen because YOU are inquisitive and motivated enough to put in the effort, and because YOU think the goal is worth pursuing, not because you are "forced" into it by external factors and fear of being outcompeted.

Develop a healthy, constantly amused, inquisitive, and child-like zen mindset first, the rest will follow.

As this sub keeps recommending, get and read Mindfulness in plain English.

Tl;Dr stop complaining you beta cuck ;)

swordshab · 2017-07-29T08:46:02+00:00

You're only seeing the best of there lives when you see it that way it's sort of sad since that's the best thing they've got going for them

alpha3305 · 2017-07-29T08:49:02+00:00

It doesn't matter what age you are when you do something. Just as long as you give yourself the chance to do it someday.

This plan of "what you should do" is fake. Best case scenario for the extremely lucky or well off. Hope for the best, plan for the worst. Everything else is just noise.

Sugar-waffle · 2017-07-29T09:35:19+00:00

You're seeing other people's "highlight reels".. don't judge yourself based off that. Half of it is bull or manufactured anyway! Work on how you want to be, fuck everyone else. Your body will change easier while you're younger so I'd be working on that at the minute. Good luck!

fuckeduphomebody · 2017-07-29T09:54:40+00:00

Instagram is shit. Don't use it. This is really bullshit.

The use of Instagram by people paved the way to an imaginary world. Indeed, most people are sheeps.

They see how some people used Instagram, and then decided to use it the same way.

As a result, most photos are big fake. I mean I can't stand their fucking #filters and their fucking hastag #healthy #morefilters #vscocam or whatever.

It is used by girls mostly to show how they are attractive. Before taking THE picture, they have taken 5-7 pictures... This is a maketing tool for their body. And often, they just show something about their body. There is nothing about a landscape behind or whatever. This is often about their face, their ass... On the contrary, on Facebook photos are less focused on their body.

Most people using this tool are girls in my country. Boys are on facebook mostly. I think this is not fate. This is because they want to "sell" their body.

At least, you can use Facebook, it is more realistic.

mushroom_overlord · 2017-07-29T10:52:21+00:00

I know the simple answer is to just stop going on social media but wouldnt that just be running away from reality?

Social media IS NOT REALITY which is something I cover in a post I made last month, check my history if you want since I don't know what the rules for linking in comments are.

It's a "greatest hits" for their carefully-crafted online image that is often staged. A lot of these people are nothing without the constant validation they get from their social media. Yeah there are some Dan Bilzerian's out there who got lucky in life but its largely a farce.

I know you may be thinking, "yeah social media isn't a perfect representation of reality but its an important part of the world we live in." Well sure, its a useful tool for a lot of things but is there anything important that you can't do without it? You don't need it to advance your career, you need a good resume and networking. You don't need one to pick up girls, you need to be high value, demonstrate high value, and utilize game. You don't need social media to lift or make friends.

You certainly don't need to be spending time posting on Instagram when you're taking a hard-earned vacation traveling somewhere you've always wanted to visit, but now can because you've built a successful career.

I'm not saying that it is impossible for social media to enhance anything in your life, but it honestly seems like its only hurting you if you're thinking shit like this at 21. Because this:

"it'll be too late" by the time i get there. It has me feeling like "30 is too old" and i'll never get to travel and hook up with young girls cause its too late.

Is false. 30 isn't too old and for god's sake you're fucking 21 which isn't a bad age to start traveling and plating. Obviously career and lifting comes before that, but if you lift consistently and work on career advancement for a few years you will still have plenty of your 20s for fun shit.

My advice, delete Instagram. Keep Snapchat and Facebook accounts on hold but only use them for networking and contacting people because they are useful for that, but you can honestly just delete them too.

Hitleresque · 2017-07-29T11:43:05+00:00

Social media is far from reality. What you see on social media represents around 1% of the 1%. Not only is it an unrealistic aspiration for all but a select few, it's not even one that's going to bring you happiness in the long term. Psychologically, in terms of measurable human happiness later in life the top things that contribute to it are friends, a strong intimate relationship, children, and family. Notice a trend? Social relationships, real ones, not the fake garbage you see on social media. The dude bros and dumb sluts you see plastered all over instagram are almost entirely artificial and probably don't have any strong connections to anyone because they're only interested in fluffing their own egos, and when they're 40 they won't be any happier than you are now.

trp_angry_dwarf · 2017-07-29T11:51:15+00:00

I know the simple answer is to just stop going on social media but wouldnt that just be running away from reality?

Lol. You think Instagram and online personalities are real?

DotishGuy · 2017-07-29T12:18:28+00:00

Then delete/deactivate for a while. Work on your goals, then come back on when you want to flex.

You won't be running from reality , you'll be running into reality. Social media is a smoke screen, it doesn't represent how people are in reality.

But if you must use social media, use it for the cool stuff, like memes and business, or learn stuff. Fuck people.

grandaddychimp · 2017-07-29T12:30:19+00:00

I was like you at that age. You're worried about the clock ticking because Blue Pill media has subconsciously programmed you to think that men and women are equal. Remember the wall doesn't exist for men like it does for women. Men don't hit the wall on average until much later in life, so you have decades before that happens. That's plenty of time to get your shit together.

As an example, I started lifting and bodybuilding a few years ago. I'm in my early 30s and just last week a petite blonde 21 year old HB8 came up to me while I was shooting pool at the bar and was DTF. It's stupid easy. She didn't even give me a chance to demonstrate other aspects of my SMV like social status or wealth. Looks and game are the minimum you need to get them hooking up with you.

The best thing you can do is immerse yourself in TRP and truly digest the pill and focus on your own SMV (looks, game, social status, money). Time you spend on social media is time taken away from things you could be doing to improve your SMV. Lift, practice your game, improve your status, and make money.

It's like a positive feedback loop. The more you lift, the higher your testosterone will be. The higher your testosterone will be, the better your game will naturally be. The more money you have, the more easily you can pursue activities and hobbies that raise your social status. They all build on each other and fuel each other exponentially. It's always hard at the start, but improving your SMV gets easier and easier as time goes on.

The key is to just don't stop and keep going.

scarletspider3 · 2017-07-29T12:44:32+00:00

You do know that most of the shit you see on social media is bullshit. It's usually people trying to front like they're living it up when they're not.

Arro76 · 2017-07-29T13:15:13+00:00

SM is just a front for a lot of people. They capture their best moments. You shouldn't feel inadequate due to their insecurities, and believe me a lot of people are insecure. I deleted FB and other social media, but I recently opened FB back up. Literally hours ago. It not running from reality because we are the web. People get to pretend to be who they want to be. Focus on your life and making it better, that's what I do.

biggerbetterjobs · 2017-07-29T13:24:25+00:00

You're exhibiting classic blue pill "why not me?!" selfishness.

Instead of being happy for these people, you're stewing with resentment about how you don't get to do what they're doing and it makes you angry/feel like you've missed out on something crucial in life.

You know those working class townie types who shit on "rich people" (who aren't even rich btw) who go on vacations and can afford to send their kids to a good private high school or to a good college? They say things like "those people are stuck up!" "they think they're better than us!" etc.. Same shit.

Life isn't fair. But if you keep working hard on your goals and don't turn into a player hater you can travel and hook up with young chicks too. If anything be thankful you're not some high school jock who peaked senior year and then knocked up his GF.. Or one of those dudes who gets married when he's 24.

ironjohnred · 2017-07-29T13:27:59+00:00

Instagram, Facebook and SnapChat are time sinks where people thirst for external validation of their existence. They are for the sheep, aka the unwashed masses. You are above that. Far above that. You have things to do. Things to improve yourself, your career, your body, your mental and emotional health. If you continue to believe the narrative fed to you that social media is 'real' then you will never get anywhere. Open your eyes, actually open them. Focus on 'you'. You are fucking 21 years old. You have an amazing life ahead of you!

Marcus1138 · 2017-07-29T14:44:32+00:00

It doesn't take that long - with three years of decent lifting you'll have reached about 80% of your max size (unless you take steroids). Three years is nothing - and even one year will make a big difference, so even as you keep improving you can start reaping the rewards.

Throwaway70432 · 2017-07-29T15:11:19+00:00

People on social media are super fake. I've seen women sitting around looking miserable all night, then take out her phone and pop a huge smiling selfie

MistahGustitues · 2017-07-29T15:32:35+00:00

A lot of guys have already said similar things, so I will just try to sum most things up:

21 is very, very early in life. Not too late for just about anything.

Social media has not done anything to you. It is just another tool. You have to decide how you want to use it.

You do not have to choose between working hard and having fun. They very much go together if you structure your life properly and keep the right mindset.

"but it takes time." Bullshit. Life is right now. Right now. Right. Now.

Now get back to work on your training, whether it's physical, emotional, or mental.

Go kick some ass, dude. You're going to have a great life.

Obligatory source information, since we all love patting ourselves on the back: 31 yr. old American, living in Germany, banging early 20's European chicks. Bonus points, I usually meeting them at the gym or, wait for it, on IG.

iLoveReddit32 · 2017-07-29T15:32:40+00:00

The folks on IG are just showing highlights of their lives. Also, while you are right that deleting IG and FB and Twitter are just "running away from reality" you need to be ok with that. Looking at IG and FB every day literally made me want to kill myself. You need to be ok with deleting your accounts and just letting go.

sukTHEfac · 2017-07-29T16:04:57+00:00

the first thing I would stop doing is equating instagram to reality.

stealthcreeper · 2017-07-29T17:41:45+00:00

Chill out dude, life is not a race.

Get into buddhism.

MattyAnon · 2017-07-29T17:51:54+00:00

Social media is being bukkaked with stupid.

look you little shit, all these people the same age as you are living it up like this and there you are

This is a problem with it. You compare the peak (and somewhat fake) experiences of 500 other people with stubbing your toe and making the same breakfast as yesterday.

I know the simple answer is to just stop going on social media but wouldnt that just be running away from reality?

No, because it isn't reality. It's not YOUR reality, it's not even anyone else's.

Social media is fucking you up, so don't do it. There are no benefits, so stop watching the illusion that everyone else has an awesome life. They don't, at least most don't, and none of it is your problem.

right now to set up a better life later but its hard to do when people are having the success AND fun at the same time.

You should be having fun while working on your mission! Why aren't ya?

Live by your own values, do what you want, quit comparing yourself with others.

Drunken_Comedian · 2017-07-29T18:50:43+00:00

OP, consider this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MPG-aLD-EY

yomo86 · 2017-07-29T19:04:21+00:00

The life of the average person is dull - even instagram peoples. Just google 'boyfriends of instagram' or 'tagthesponsor' to be cured of the online vapidity.

Throwaway_5252 · 2017-07-29T19:27:59+00:00

Social media is garbage. Stay off it for the most part. It's a bunch of egotistical asshats on a never ending quest for validation. I have an instagram, but I hardly use it and when I do I couldn't give a shit how many likes I get. If you wanna fuck young girls and you think it's too late then just look into getting some prostitutes.

RedEmpor · 2017-07-29T20:15:52+00:00

Why it is Normal to Feel Unhappy When You’re in Your Early 20s

We get a ton of emails. We get so many emails that we rarely respond and only allow comments. Most of the questions? Surround happiness and imbalance… The problem with a lot of these emails and questions is that it is normal to be unhappy/frustrated in your early 20s

Anyone who says otherwise is likely an older boy who is passing on his insecurities to you. “If I was your age I would be thrilled to be alive! I would do….”. Congratulations, you’ve met a retard. Full retard. Smile, nod, agree and ignore. All of these older people who claim that they would be thrilled to trade places with you without any actionable advice are all insecure morons. The worst part? They probably make $150K a year and have the audacity to give life advice. What a joke. If the person cannot give you actionable steps to improve your well being starting right now, you should ignore him completely.

Here is why it is normal to be unhappy/frustrated in your early twenties.

Distance: The person you want to become and the person you are today are far, far, far apart. The person you want to become seems to be on a different planet and this causes a lot of frustration because you want to improve rapidly. The problem? Improvement is never linear. This is exactly why you should only make self to self comparisons. Do not compare yourself (today) to the person you want to be in 20 years. This is not fair to you and your psyche. Compare yourself to who you were last year and see what happened. If you didn’t improve drastically, you know you’re taking advice from the wrong people.

Social Life Issues: Here is a fun fact. Most people who read this blog (ones that will eventually succeed) likely have very few friends right now (introverted)! Bet you weren’t expecting that. Why? If you are doing the opposite, then you are going to ostracize yourself quite a bit from “regular people”. You’re going to watch as many people party hard (hook-up) while you focus significantly more on building a business or pursuing a career (or both!).

Low Value: In the eyes of society, just like a brand new bottle of wine, you’re not going to matter much. You’re just getting started. Everyone is telling you that they are “jealous of your youth” and yet you’re actually going to be jealous of the people who already have what you want! It’s a conundrum. People are yelling in your face that they wish they were your age. But. Society doesn’t care about you. There is nothing you can do to reverse your value in a short period of time. Instead of dwelling on this fact, simply go out and find actionable information to fix your issues.

Money: Even if you get an investment banking analyst job paying ~$150K a year… You’re going to be broke. As we have explained many times in the past, no one gets rich making $200K a year and no one ever will. While this sounds like a lot of money to a person who is still in college… Anyone who has actually succeeded in life and is aspiring for more, knows that it is nothing.

The Truth Hurts: Finally, the biggest reason for being unhappy in your twenties is exposure to the truth. Smart people consistently look for the truth and you go through huge amounts of frustration when you recognize reality for what it is. You cannot change reality. You realize the following truths: 1) Six figures is nothing, 2) your college degree was practically useless, excluding maybe 3-5 courses, 3) real life is significantly harder than college, 4) girls do not like younger men (don’t worry, it gets better as you close in on 30), 5) everyone and their mom is trying to prevent you from going up the ladder because no one likes to see someone below them exceed them. That is a lot of harsh truths to swallow. A LOT. The only thing you can do is change your strategy. Realize the truth for what it is and grind. You will be rewarded in about 5-10 years not 2-3 years.

Concluding Remarks: It is normal to be unhappy/frustrated in your early 20s. Everyone is lying. Your colleagues are going to load up photos of their posh lives (on credit) hook ups on “tinder” (photoshop) and do everything in their power to make you feel insecure. Here’s a tip. Know they are lying. Simply ignore all of it and amplify their comments back to them. “Congrats I’m glad things are going well! (smile, nod)” and move on with your life. It is going to take an immense amount of discipline and self restraint to follow the rules outlined on this blog which is exactly why we give it away for free. 99.9% of people won’t follow through and would rather “read about success” than do what it takes to actually succeed. The choice is yours.

*Note: For a pro-tip, start referring to times when you’re frustrated/unhappy as “annoyed” you’ll find that your word choice will temporarily change how you feel. As your life improves, you’ll find it easier to remain in a state of happiness. We simply used the words frustrated and unhappy because this is how most people will describe their current state.

It may help you like it helped me. Put everything into perspective. I'm playing catch up, others started earlier in life.

NakedAndBehindYou · 2017-07-29T20:29:20+00:00

I know the simple answer is to just stop going on social media but wouldnt that just be running away from reality?

Social media is not reality. People post pictures of the best 10 minutes of their week onto Instagram and Facebook to show off what they are proud of and the fun times they have had to their friends and followers. The rest of their week is usually the typical bullshit we all have to deal with - work 40 hours, buy groceries, clean the house, etc.

realizing how long it takes to build an attractive body.

Building an aesthetic body can be done in like 2 years if you are dedicated with your lifting schedule and diet. Most people aren't dedicated and thus never get to the end result that they desire.

Xiphos462 · 2017-07-29T21:45:48+00:00

Those people are only showing you their highlights. I wonder what you would think about them if they showed picks of them with shit running down their legs because they couldn't make it to the toilet, their 500 credit score or their prescriptions for hemorrhoids and anti depressants.

happpster · 2017-07-30T00:07:26+00:00

I deleted most of social media accounts. Nowadays I just stick to reddit and Flickr.

SlySoothSayer · 2017-07-30T00:10:16+00:00

I called a girl out on Instagram because she clearly photoshopped her ass to make it look bigger. Instagram is not reality.

rushh24 · 2017-07-30T00:19:06+00:00

Get off social media, it was the most liberating thing I think I've ever done. You eventually become the man you want to be instead of wasting precious time being jealous over filtered Instagram pictures of other people, that only gives insight to the best points of peoples lives and none of the worst making you feel inadequate.

JFMX1996 · 2017-07-30T02:23:45+00:00

It won't be running away from reality, because that isn't reality. It's just some little illusion. These people take the highlight reels of their lives and portray it as if it was always the norm, and people just gobble it right up. I also just turned 21, but man, I haven't had social media besides Reddit and YouTube for a while now. I got rid of the last platform, Instagram in early 2016 and have never felt better and become a way more productive and driven individual. Instead of getting all down in the dumps comparing myself to these kids, I started crafting the life I wanted and it's getting better with time.

Funny thing is about these famous Instagram people is that usually, and hopefully I don't sound bitter here, they aren't shit in real life in comparison to how they portray themselves. A girl I know who has 65k followers and seems like a glamorous model with an ideal life is actually really not that impressive when I see her at the gym without all the flattering angles and sucking her belly in and getting all sorts of shit. She also just made my sandwich at a restaurant working minimum wage.

Most of what's on there is all an illusion. Some of the famous fighters we bring down to my gym to train even tell me about how their profiles are all very calculated and crafted to seem alluring and extravagant because it gains them more of a following.

Others I know with these large followings are actually very miserable individuals. Not a lot of people know that the girl with 65k actually is just dependent on the likes and followers to get her self worth because there isn't a lot else that makes her feel good about herself in her life. They don't know that she actually feels low self-esteem and is constantly plagued by the need for external validation to get her feel-good fix for the day. She resorts to raunchier and raunchier pictures to get more likes when one thing isn't doing it. Another guy I know with a large following is also severely depressed and feels the same way as that girl. He posts really happy quotes and what not but is actually ridden with anxiety.

Anyway, work hard, think outside the box, and you'll get to where you want to be. Not only that but you'll be self-made and feel greater satisfaction. The only real use for that stuff is if you're trying to market yourself or a service, which I might have to get back into in the near future but other than that, it just serves as a source for stress.

gmangini · 2017-07-30T08:24:58+00:00

A little story. A girl I sorta dated, whom has a decently large following (4000+) posted pictures of her trophy husband living the dream. She would travel everywhere, lived in a decent place, etc. Turns out the entire time, while she was posting all of these cute and romantic pictures of her having the time of her life was really a cover up. Her husband? A drug attic. Her relationship? Abusive. Her actual life? Not anywhere to what appeared on instagram.

Stop giving a fuck about other people's lives mate, cause i promise it isn't what it seems.

valdirtheblue · 2017-07-31T16:42:33+00:00

It's not too late for a reasonably healthy 50 year old man to start lifting. These success stories you see are presented as a single image, who knows the myriad layers or depths they aren't showing you? Depression, jealousy? All sorts. Remember, be your own man and live your own life. It's never too late.

PantsonFire1234 · 2017-08-02T13:47:30+00:00

Seriously dude what kind of Insta profiles do you lurk? Because I see none of that shit. Or are you talking about Dan Bilzerian level of living it up. That's fucking unrealistic and only a small percentage lives like that and even then they have their flaws. You envy other guys body? Good, get one like that or better. You want hot girls to fall for you like some guy? Good, get his SMV or higher.

I read this allot on TRP where some people envy the clubbing/going out scene and the people that do it. Take it from a guy that partied and went out daily from the age of 16 all the way to 23. I live in the capital city of my country and it's well known for it's batshit night life and diverse parties. Shit gets boring real fast. You are reliving the same night over and over again. You feel like crap afterwards physically. Odds are you hardly slay poon unless you are off high SMV and if you are then you don't have time to go partying like some kid all week. There's nothing to get from this lifestyle other than more wasted time. It just looks cool on pictures to those who haven't lived it. I see these pictures and I remember all the boring and repetitive shit in-between. I also know that 99% of all guys get fuck all done there. All the women either waste daddy's money, their boyfriends/husbands or their own. Don't idolize the night life, it's fun once in a while and then you go back to really living.

That gets me to my next point. Fuck the experiences lifestyle trend. You will get absolutely fuck all from partying, orgying or traveling. They might be entertaining for a while, you see a new nice place or a new hot girl. You make a picture for attention whoring and that's it. Stop living through experiences, they are passive endeavors.

Instead, live an extraordinary life. Build meaningful friendships, take your car or bike for a roadtrip, learn to hint or fish, become exceptionally in shape, learn about the past, unlock the future, change the world in some way or shape. Actually do something beyond getting to destination X, passively having a beverage, looking around and eyeballing some Ho while you wait for Instagram likes to flood your Iphone.

I can't stress this enough. Take it from someone who has. Experiences will not get you where you want. You might get some nice memories but you will be stuck in the same place forever. To move on takes energy and effort, sacrifice. But it's a hell lot more rewarding than blowing 100 bucks on some party.

cloudmax40 · 2017-08-03T02:32:46+00:00

You're 21. Start now. Be consistent every day. You don't have to seriously worry about whether you're getting it together properly until you're about 24/25. Keep going.

Streik23 · 2017-08-03T23:21:26+00:00

"running away from reality" -> Instagram = Reality Oh boy, you have a problem.

Andrew54321 · 2017-07-29T04:11:34+00:00

30 yo didn't quit social media. Its a marketer's dream right now. Markets self identify and congregate.

neversaydookie · 2017-07-29T06:59:01+00:00

Why are you wasting time on Instagram? Shouldn't you be studying Red Pill and reading or listening to Audiobooks about self improvement?

ifknhatemylife · 2017-07-29T06:15:45+00:00

Same. It's even worse when you're in a situation where you know those people and then you go build a new life in a different country and look back at those people having fun while you're in a shitty situation, you feel like you're totally missing out. it sucks

i grew up in a super cool city and i keep looking at IG pics/stories of them having a blast while the place I'm in is complete shit and i barely know anyone here who has fun lol. super depressed i literally hate my 'life'.

X-Trem0 · 2017-08-02T11:47:55+00:00

Every single time i see one of those fitness models wannabe I think the same:

"Somebody, somewhere is fed up of her bullshit"

Helps me put them in perspective ;)

Thisisaghosttown · 2017-08-04T03:01:02+00:00

I used to have the same problem (I'm the same age as you, btw). I have friends who are Instagram "cool" or "snapchat "famous". To tell you the truth, yeah they get those likes or whatever it is, but almost all of them are miserable outside of it. Their Instagram or Snapchat story is just a highlight reel of one cool thing they did that day. All my friends who have the cool Instagram posts with 1000 likes and all the followers, whenever I talk to them in person I hear how miserable they are with their dead end job, how they don't have a girlfriend or boyfriend, and how they have no idea what they want to do with their life.

Check out this trailer for this independent film coming out. It's about a social media obsessed woman who stalks Instagram stars, only to find out that their lives are miserable and lonely, and not as glamorous as the internet makes them out to be.

Also, I had to learn pretty early on that I can't be pissed about my friends social media presence because their parents signed a lease and got them a party house to live in for their college career, or that they didn't have to save their money and pay for school, that's just what they were born into and it's totally out of anyone's control.

artjimmerson1 · 2017-07-29T17:26:45+00:00

i'm not sure about this subs obsession with body

i've worked out for 14 years and pretty much have a fight club brad pitt body

also i'm living in a 10 million dollar house and i haven't kissed a girl in 8 months--- why? because of how my face looks

in la you will see skinny guys who don't workout with pretty girls as long as they have nice faces --- the key to a nice face is full lips and a short distance from the top lip to the nose... this is what is important not how buff you are

Title	Social media has me f'd up
Author	winu96
Upvotes	148
Comments	108
Date	July 28, 2017 11:17 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6q7j2j/social_media_has_me_fd_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/social-media-has-me-fd-up.44971 https://theredarchive.com/post/44971

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