I read the rules front and back a bunch of times so this shit doesn't get deleted.
A bunch of you may be asking: "What the fuck is this post for, kid? Where the fuck are the Machiavelli quotes and the guides on how to balance your finances?" You won't find that here. This post is being written by an eighteen year old that just graduated high school and is being smacked in the face by adulthood, reality, and it's hitting me like a truck. I'm writing this post primarily for catharsis and to look back at it one day and laugh.
Two months ago, I was happy. I had lost weight, I was in love, and I was making money. Everything was good. But was it? Let me give you guys a little synopsis of what happened:
I really liked - and I mean, REALLY liked this girl. Let's call her 'U' (for Unicorn, of course!) I liked her since middle school. The apple of my eye. All the kids liked her, and why shouldn't they? She was a beauty. She had this fiery red hair. These brown eyes that popped out at you. She screamed innocence. She was nice to everybody. The girl next door. I met her again in High School during my senior year. Now, prior to my senior year, I was a fat piece of shit. I weighed nearly 300lbs at 16 years old. I decided to take control and lost over 135lbs to finally look decent for my senior year. Here's where 'U' decides to text me on Snapchat and we get the ball rolling.
Now, at this point, I'm your typical BP betafag. Giving her my undivided attention. Texting her back SECONDS after she texts me back. Clinging on to every single piece of attention she gave me. Giving her my undivided love.
Now, I'm not gonna tell you guys the full story of 'U'. Primarily because I posted it on another account already, and primarily because it's long as fuck. Long story short? She told me about how she's fucked multiple men (we weren't even 18 at the time), how she loves cock, and this is the kicker: how I'm her BEST friend!
Heartbroken. Depressed. Crushed. Skinny. Weak. Pathetic. She had killed me. Fuck, man. I loved her. I loved every minute I spent with her. I would've killed for her. Died for her. I would've bought her the moon, the world, and our entire solar system if she would've asked. What did I get in return? Blocked from all social media and from iMessage with no warning or goodbyes.
OK. That's how we're gonna play?
I started lifting. I was in a skinnyfat state and long story short, I'm not a beast yet (i've been lifting for four months), but I've brought my powerlifting totals up by roughly 500lbs and I look a LOT better than I did once upon a time.
Now this is where the ANGER hit me like a truck:
I'm finally getting girls. You know, today? I woke up with females texting me 'good morning.' I used to be the BP betafag that sent out all these good morning texts and always got ignored. Why the fuck are these women so shallow? I give you no love, no attention; yet - you want me! But when I gave that girl my WORLD she did me the dirtiest I've ever been done. Here's an example for you. One of my plates let me finger blast her in the park. Couple days later? Texts me saying that she doesn't wanna cheat on her boyfriend. I ignore the fuck out of her, get a long ass apology. I tell her that I'm not interested. She begs to meet up with me. Begs. Pleads. Nope. You know what the saddest part of the whole thing is? She has a fucking BOYFRIEND. I guarantee you that if we meet, I WILL fuck her. She has a man that she claims to love. She claims to adore him, and here I am, about to make her squeal my name. But it's OK, because what he doesn't know won't hurt him!
How come I have these friends that are so BP that it hurts? You know, I've got a pal that's been my friend since middle school. He's been dating a girl for 2+ months. Get this: he's been going over to her house every day to lay on her bed, cuddle, and talk about her problems. What the fuck? Please, explain to me: what the FUCK? The kicker? She's leaving ALL summer and going to a different college upstate. Haha. Chads are gonna be running through her like it's a fucking track meet. Here's my bestfriend giving her all the fucking time in the world and here she is planning to go away and get FUCKED. But it's OK! Why? Because people can't accept the world for what it really is and it hurts me to see the way it really is.
I went to the inner city today. I looked around at all the women. It stung to think about the horrible fucking things that they do. I looked at all the 'men'. It hurt me to see that all of these 'men' are hollow shells of themselves. They're selling their souls to love one girl that's probably fucking all of their friends. Later on in life, these men will become alcoholics or drug addicts and these women will have huge families with some guy to pay for everything. I am on the outside looking in, and this fucking sucks.
The worst part about it all? I'm only eighteen. I'm a fucking kid. I'm a kid and I'm watching all of this unfold. I can't enjoy the simple things anymore. I talk to girls just to realize that they're all the fucking same. They're primitive creatures and it's so easy to unfold them. I can't even love a fucking girl anymore because I know she'll take advantage of it. I can't look at my old love the same because I can only imagine the disgusting things in her head. At this point, lifting has become my safe place. It's the only thing in life that's real. We live in such a fake fucking reality and it's disgusting to see. It's disgusting to see how my brothers are letting themselves be dominated and crushed by women, and it's disgusting to see how badly women just want somebody to lead them but they can't find a man to do so.
Can I just go back? Can I go back to not knowing anything?
This fucking sucks and I fucking hate it. I hate how cliché everything is.
I love you all. You guys changed my life. One day when I'm balls deep in a HB9 who's also a milf, I'll look back at this and laugh, but for right now? It hurts.
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