A guy on my forums posted a thread asking why he wasn’t having success with Tinder. His pics are solid (probably better than my own pics), and he’s a little better looking than I am, with more muscle. Yet he’s only had sex with 2 girls from Tinder.

Good pics and a decent bio are a requirement to getting laid on Tinder, but there’s a whole host of steps that need to happen after that – and a lot of things you can completely screw up. Here’s a super-quick list of questions to ask yourself if you have good pics but you’re not getting laid. I’ll flesh some of these out into longer individual articles in the future if there’s interest.

  • Are you asking for numbers from girls as soon as possible? (You should aim to do it within about 4 messages you send.) You don’t want to have long conversations that go on for ages, only to find out the girl doesn’t want to give you her number. Save time and ask for the number ASAP.
  • Does your bio make it clear what you’re looking for, or do you have something that just screams "boyfriend material" like, “Nice guy looking for a nice girl”? If you can’t think of a decent bio (it doesn’t need to be amazing – just not terrible), just steal mine: “When I was little, girls hated when I pulled their hair. Funny how some things change.”
  • Are you screening girls (quickly getting rid of the ones who aren’t DTF and are clearly just wasting time/looking for attention), or are you wasting days/weeks having long conversations that never lead to sex?
  • Are you messaging a tonne of girls (30-50+ a week) and copy-pasting the same message to them so you’re efficient? (Don’t waste time customising messages for each girl – that’s a total waste of your time & isn’t necessary at all).
  • Are you paying for Tinder Plus and using Boosts to get more matches? Buy 2 boosts a week – use them between 11pm-2am on Friday and Saturday nights. That’s when you’ll get the most matches from the girls that are most sexually-available.
  • Are you making it obvious (through your pics, bio and messages) that your goal is to get laid (and not be friends, or "just see what happens", or "have a nice conversation")? If you’re not sure how to make it obvious you want sex, just think to yourself, “What would a guy who gets laid a tonne do?” and then just mimic what you think that guy would do. Pretend you’re a player. Fake it til you make it.
  • Once you get a number, are you trying to meet up with the girl as soon as possible – no later than 3 days from when you get her number? People tend to lose interest very fast, so as soon as you get her number, launch straight into “You free Thursday night?” (That should literally be your 2nd message after you say “Hey it’s me, sup”.) Don’t have long text conversations where you talk for weeks (it's almost always a waste of time), don’t ask how her day was, don’t “build rapport”, don’t try and make her like you, don’t ask what’s she’s up to. She gave you her number so she already likes you – just get her out on the date ASAP.
  • If she won’t meet you for a date, or says “I’m not free that day” more than 2 times, are you deleting her number and moving on? Don’t waste time on a girl who’s “too busy” or “has a crazy schedule”. Those girls aren’t that serious about meeting up with you, so don’t waste your time.
  • On the date itself, are you doing everything you can to steer things towards sex? Things like holding her hand as soon as you can, touching her, kissing her, inviting her back to your apartment. Or are you playing it too safe and not even trying to kiss her, let alone have sex with her? Are you doing time-wasting, unhelpful things like going to movies/dinner, having long 5 hour dates where you talk too much and waste too much time instead of trying to have sex, etc? Your dates should be: meet for 1 drink in a bar, talk and touch/kiss each other a bit, then say “Come back to my apartment and we’ll hang out for a bit.”
  • On the date, are you looking your best, with good fashion that’s in style? Are you wearing accessories (necklace, rings, watch, piercings, tattoos, etc - don't have to have all of these, but at least a nice watch/necklace/ring)? Is your body-fat low-ish (10-13% is best, 13-15% is decent), are you well-groomed, wearing good cologne, with an in-style haircut?

-Andy